learning

Thoughts on Fighting From Victory (And not For It)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 4 Comments

chariots of fire

Today, God reminded me of something I knew but had forgotten. Lately, I’ve been praying for peace and stronger faith and for strength to overcome temptation and negative thinking.

I think what God was reminding me was that I already have these things in Christ. In Christ, I have everything I need for life and godliness, as it says in 1 Timothy. So maybe instead of praying for peace, I will claim the peace that passes all understanding.

Instead of praying for stronger faith, I will claim the promise that when I am weak, Christ is strong and that His strength works best in my weakness.

Instead of praying for the power to overcome temptation to anxiety and negative thinking, I will claim the verse that I can take every thought captive and take it to Jesus and leave it there. I’m not saying that I can claim a Bentley in faith and I will receive it. I am saying that God says to those who lack wisdom, to ask.

God says to keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking, and keep wrestling with God until He blesses you. The victory is won. The enemy is a defeated foe. Never forget that. Death no longer has the final word and the grave is only a temporary resting place. Jesus holds the keys to death and the grave and hell.

Live out of the victory that’s already yours and fight from it and not for it. Believe in faith the promises of God not only for yourself, but for those around you.

Pray strong for someone when that person can’t pray for themselves.

Above all, if we are the winning side, we should be the most joyous, grateful people on the planet. Our thankful hearts will be what gets the attention of the world around us who is still looking for meaning and hope.

They are waiting to see someone whose testimony is not just talked out, but walked out, too.

Sitting Still

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Today I had an epic fail. I was supposed to meet a friend for the 11 am service. I thought I had plenty of time to get one of those white chocolate mochas with a shot of hazelnut (which are fantastically good and you should try one some time). It turns out I did not.

By the time I got my awesome beverege, I was already ten minutes late and not at all in a reverential mood. More like impatient and frantic and stressed and mad at myself. By the time I got to the sanctuary, there was no way I was going to be able to find my friend, so I ended up sitting in the balcony.

But God reminded me of the sermon I had just heard about Mary and Martha. Martha was the one frantically scrambling to get everything just right and Mary was sitting silently at the feet of Jesus in the posture of a disciple. Martha had good intentions, but Mary did the better thing.

I took a moment to steady my thoughts and quiet my heart. I prayed for peace to replace the chaos and I took a few deep breaths. Then I was fine.

We often get so caught up in school, work, play, and doing things for God that we have precious little time for God. But if we want our desire to be more like Jesus to go from wishful thinking to reality, we must make time to sit at His feet and be silent.

I am the worst. When I try to be silent and still, my brain doesn’t want to cooperate. I will conjure up  whole conversations in my head, hear snatches of songs, and think of things I forgot to do or that I still need to do. In other words, my ADD kicks in with a vengeance.

But the more I come to sit at Jesus feet, the more I am learning to capture my anxious thoughts and give them to Him. The more I am learning to let everything else go and listen to the Voice that still says good things about me.

Come to Jesus all you who are at the breaking point of exhausting. Come, be still. He will give you much needed soul-rest even in the midst of a busy day. He will speak peace and healing over you. He will refresh your spirit and renew your mind.

So just come.

God, I’m Sorry

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

God, I’m sorry that I took even a single moment of the time I had today for granted. I’m sorry I forgot that every moment of this life is sacred, for You inhabit all of it.

You’re in every frame of every scene in my life, speaking to me through the Word, through your people, through circumstances, and loudest of all, through the Silence that echos the calm before the storm.

I’m sorry I failed to give you as much room to work in the lives of my friends as You took to work in mine. I’m sorry I doubted them and mistrusted their motives instead of looking for and believing the best about them and giving them the benefit of the doubt, as You taught and showed me how to do.

I’m sorry that I listened to my fears instead of to You, and they lied to me. I’m sorry that I believed what they said: that eventually all the people in my life will find out what I’m really like underneath my plastic smile and decide that I am simply not worth the effort and they will walk away. I name that lie and give it to You for good.

I’m sorry I was living my life at the I-level, living in the me-story and focused on all things Greg. I forgot that what You have for me is so much bigger than me and what my little world can hold. Your plans are God-sized and the God-story You are telling me is so much better than mine (thanks to Karla Worley for the imagery).

I’m sorry that tomorrow, I will need to be reminded of this all over again. I will forget You and how constantly You have taken care of me.

Thank You that You are slow to anger, steady in love, and ever patient with me, never wearying in reminding me of who I am and Whose I am. Of how much stronger Your voice is than all the other voices that speak to me and that Your voice is saying good things about me and calling me Beloved.

Thank You that You won’t give up, give in, let go, let me down, or turn on me. Thank You that you will absolutely finish what You started in me and then it will all have been so much more than worth it.

Thank You. Amen.

Giving Thanks In Everything

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

Tonight at Kairos Roots, the speaker talked about the importance of thanksgiving as a lifestyle. Thanksgiving is the antidote for anger, for bitterness, for discouragement (as I found out recently), and for doubt.

She reminded me that we’re not supposed to give thanks FOR everything, but IN everything. We should’t be thankful for tragedies and misfortunes and other bad things happening, but we can be thankful that God can work through even the worst of these times and turn them into something beautiful.

The verse says to give thanks to the Lord for He is good– not because we are good or that life is good or that the situation is good– but because God is good.

Another verse tells me “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” This day, meaning the terrible, no good, very bad day I’m stuck in. Not just the good days when my life is turning out the way I want and all my plans are falling into place, but the bad days when I have a headache and I feel like I’m completely screwing up everything I touch.

Thanksgiving reminds me that I’m not in this alone. It reminds me that God is with me even when I don’t feel Him near. As I heard tonight, sometimes the only way we know that God loves us when we don’t feel loved or see love is to know that He does because “the Bible tells me so.”

Thanksgiving brings us together in community and keeps us focused on the big story God is telling and not just the little stories we are living in. As the speaker noted, it gets me out of the me-story where I can only see at I-level and puts me back into the God-story where God is in charge and in control and is working everything together for good.

When we are thankful, we see once more that all of life is connected and that every part of life belongs to God. I see that what God wants from me is not the best part of me or the majority of me, but all of me, everything I have, everything I am, the good and bad and ugly and disturbing. He wants all of me.

Learning to be thankful takes practice and time, but the result is so much more than worth it. God deserves my thanks, even if He never does one more thing for me. Even if for no other reason than Who He is, He deserves every bit of thanksgiving I can give to Him (and then some!)

How Much?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I’m still reading the book Not a Fan (and still being blown away by its awesome-ness, to coin a new word). The part I read was about passionate pursuit as a part of being a true follower of Jesus and not just a fan.

This part really hit me hard. It convicted me big time. Where Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me,” the part that got me wasn’t what you think it would be.

It was “come after”. The book talks about coming after Jesus like a man passionately and romatically pursues a woman. It means to “follow hard” after God, as it says in the Psalms.

It means that I must want God more than I want anything in this life. I must love God more than family, more than friends, more than a spouse, more than a career, more than even my own life.

It means that no price is too high to pay to follow Jesus and know His heart for the world. Even carrying the cross daily is not too high a price. Death is not too high a price.

I was convicted that I am still captive to what others think. I am still bound to if someone likes what I say or doesn’t like it. I have to die to that. The only opinion that matters is what God thinks. If I am seeking to please people, as the Bible says, I won’t be aiming to please God.

The question of the hour is this: How much do I really want God? How much am I willing to risk, how much am I willing to sacrifice to pursue the God who pursued me with everything He had?

The Bible talks about wanting God more than life. As the deer pants for the water, so should we want God. Water isn’t something that would be nice to have. It’s life. In the same way, God isn’t one more thing to make my life better. He’s my life.

Until I see my deep need and until I recognize that my very survival depends on me pursuing God at all costs until He finds me, I will never really truly follow hard after Him.

As always, I am a work in progress who is learning a new way to live and a new way to think. God is perfectly patient with me. I pray you will be, too. I will do my best to be patient with you.

And above all, let us learn what it means to come after Jesus until it is our all-consuming desire. That’s my prayer for you tonight.

The Only Thing that Doesn’t Change

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“the only thing that doesn’t change
makes everything else rearrange
is the speed of light, the speed of light
your love for me must be the speed of light” (Julie Miller)

I’ve heard it said that the only constant in life is change. Nothing in life ever stays the same. People come and people go, sometimes without any reason. Nature is full of change with the whole cycle of birth and death and rebirth.

I know there’s one thing that doesn’t change. One of my favorite verses says that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (at least I’m 95% sure that’s a verse in the Bible). Another verse says that God is not like a man that He should lie or change His mind.

I can rest knowing that no matter what happens to me, no matter what I do or don’t do, no matter how things go my way or even if my life completely implodes, God is the same.

It boggles my mind to thing that God never loves me less than perfectly, that He never does anything less than the very best for me, that He never, ever breaks His promises toward me.

I’ve learned the hard way that overanalyzing everything always leads to stress and wrong conclusions. Trying to guess people’s motives and thoughts is like trying to nail jello to a tree or to herd cats.

That’s why God says, “Trust Me. I have everything under control. I will never leave you or forsake you and I promise to not give up or quit on you, but finish the work I started in you. Trust what I am doing in and around you. One day, you will see with your eyes the perfect final result, but until then, you must see with the eyes of faith.”

I mentioned this before, but it’s so good I have to repeat it. I heard someone say that what you think and what you feel will lie to you, so you go with what you know. That is, you go with the one thing that never changes. God and His love for you.

 

Empty Hands

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

A friend of mine once taught me a simple, profound, beautiful morning prayer. It goes, “Lord, I come to you with empty hands. If all I have from You today is You and the next breath, that will be enough.”

Ideally, you pray this prayer kneeling with hands outstretched and with palms facing up and open. It’s a way of letting go of your own expectations of how things should go and how other people should act toward you. It’s a way of surrendering to whatever God has in mind for you.

I’d like to say that I’ve prayed this little prayer every morning since I learned it. That would be a big, fat, stinkin’ lie. In fact, I completely forgot about it until today. I think God reminded me of this prayer for a reason.

God wants me. Not my best efforts or my promises or my service. He wants all of me, not just what I feel like giving or the parts that are cleaned-up or what I think makes me look really good. He wants all of me, the good, the bad, the weird, the bizarre, and the ugly.

When I come with empty hands, I am letting go of my will to embrace the will of Jesus. I am saying that whatever agenda or plan I had in mind is gone and I only want to do one thing: be where God is at work and hear what He’s telling me and obey it.

I read this once “Purity of heart is to will one thing.” I know I get sidetracked and distracted by a myriad of things and I forget who I am and Whose I am. God never fails in time to remind me and love me back home.

I challenge you to pray this prayer every morning and in the evening you can thank God for what He gave you. Instead of it being something you feel you’re owed or your right, you will see everything as it really is– an undeserved gift and God’s grace poured out on you.

Thank you, God, for reminding me again of how much I desparately need You today and every day. Amen.

Forgiveness

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Tonight, Mike Glenn talked about forgiveness at Kairos. He said forgiveness is releasing the other person from the expectation that they can fix the wrong and the hurt they caused you. He said forgiveness is when you are no longer defined by the pain and the hurt and the grudge, but by the love of Jesus.

He added that Jesus said to him once, “You can hold on to the hate for the person who hurt you or you can hold on to My love, but you cannot hold on to both.” When Jesus whispered, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing,” He was praying for those who hurt you. He was also praying for you.”

We are called to forgive. Jesus said the Father would forgive you as you forgave others. When you don’t give forgiveness, you can’t receive it and you stunt the work of the Spirit in your life. Every single one of us needs to forgive and be forgiven.

But what if the person you most need to forgive is yourself? What if the person you need to learn to live with is you? What if you’re scared to death that if someone else ever knew you like you knew yourself and knew all the dirty, petty, angry thoughts you keep hidden, they would walk out on you for good?

I have been way too hard on myself in the past and projected on to other people my own self-rejection. I thought that no one could ever really know me and still like me. But the love of Jesus broke through and changed me and changed how I saw myself. It transformed how I saw others, no longer through my own insecurities, but through the grace of God.

The key is to believe what God says about you. It’s to believe that God loves you and chose you and calls you BELOVED. The key is to receive God’s forgiveness. If God chose to forgive you of something you never in a million years could have paid for, then it’s time to forgive yourself.

You have a choice. You can choose pain and holding grudges or you can choose forgiveness and freedom and love. I think Anne Lamott said refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. You only hurt yourself. Forgiveness is freedom to love and be loved and mostly, to be wrapped up by the love of Jesus.

I choose forgiveness every time. Lord, grant me and all those reading this forgiving hearts and fill us up with your love so there’s no more room to carry the hurts anymore.

Amen.

Come and Find Rest

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I never thought I’d actually say this (or type this), but this blog isn’t for everyone. If you’re content and peaceful and everything is falling into place for you, then you probably don’t need to read any further. If you have a game plan and are workin’ it, stop here.

If you’re harried and worried, this is your blog. If you’re weary and heavy-laden, if you’re overburdened and worked to the point of exhaustion, this is for you. If you wake up from sleep feeling more tired than when you went to bed and if you think you will have to live to be 300 to get every project, assignment and task done, do read further.

Jesus said, “Come to Me and find rest for your souls.” I’m fairly certain that doesn’t mean plopping down on the sofa to catch Monday Night Football (or if you’re me, a really good classic movie). It’s not about a 24-hour sleep-athon.

I like to think of rest this way. Bear with me. I being a complete book nerd like to re-read certain books. I read The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia every year. It’s like going on a free vacation to familiar places with familiar people (or hobbits).

It’s restful. I know how the story will end, but I can still get caught up in it. I can live vicariously through the characters and experience everything without the fear that it will all end badly. I’ve read the ending.

In life, we can live that way. The Book has been written and I know how it ends. I don’t have to worry that my life will turn out to be tragic and meaningless. God’s got a purpose for the world and for me. He’s written the greatest story ever told and invited me to be a part of it.

If you know that the ending is a happy one and that you’re on the winning side, that changes your perspective. If you know that God is for you and His plans for you are not to harm you, but to prosper you and give you a hope and a future, you can rest.

You can keep a quiet heart and a calm soul in the midst of business and chaos. You can face your failures, knowing that God can redeem the worst mistakes and make them the first part of your testimony. You can breathe easier knowing that God hasn’t forgotten you, but is forever with you, singing over you and rejoicing with you and rooting for you.

I pray you find rest. I pray the peace that passes understanding will guard your hearts and minds and you will know the embrace of your Abba and hear Him saying good things about you. Because He likes you, He loves you, and He’s crazy in love with you.

Attention: God Wants You!

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I’ve mentioned before how I was kickball-challenged and almost never got picked to be on either team. I was always assigned to the team that had the last pick. In fact, my entire sports career was spent on the bench watching the better players while I got in the game a few times after the outcome was already decided.

I am still amazed every single day that God wants me. I’m astounded that He wants to use me in what He’s doing in the world. Not only that He wants to use me, but that He’s working through me, often in ways I will never see.

News flash: God wants you. He wants not just your checkbook or your calendar, but you. He’s got an awesome plan to change the world and that plan has your name in it. If you say YES to God, whatever the question, there’s no telling what He will do in you and through you.

God made you and gifted you and called you to a place that only you can serve. There’s somone out there who won’t step inside a church or go near a minister, but you have the best opportunity to be Jesus to that person and turn their world upside down.

The disciples weren’t overly smart or clever or skilled or innovative. They just stuck around Jesus and soaked in everything He had to say. When He spoke, they listened. When He said, “Follow Me,” they did, and the world hasn’t been the same since.

God is calling you and me to be lights in a very dark world. He calls us to be Jesus to the world that for the most part doesn’t know it needs saving. God is able to take your broken life and bless so many others with it and make your failure and wreckage into a beautiful story that will captivate and enthrall those who see it.

God wants you. Not after you get your life right. Not after you complete a 12-step program, get cleaned up, get dressed up, get your act together. He wants you right now, just as you are and right where you are. He’s not calling you to condemn you, but to change you. And He is calling right now.

All it takes for the incredible journey to start is your YES. That’s all.