An Advent Prayer for Every Woman I Know

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Note: There will be two of these. One for all my women friends and one for all my men friends. The prayer for all the men I know will (hopefully) show up on here tomorrow.

I’m praying for you tonight on the Eve of the 2nd Sunday of Advent.

I pray God’s joy invades your hearts tomorrow as you witness the lighting of the Candle of Preparation. May you truly feel the love of your Abba for you in all its fullness and depth and height and completeness.

I’m praying you continue to revel in your femininity and that you let the love of Christ define you, not your marital status, your career, your children, your weight, your reflection in the mirror, or anything else. May you only believe the voice of the One calling you His Beloved Daughter above all the other voices (including your own) calling you a myriad of other names.

I pray you’re making your heart ready to receive the Christ Child this Christmas. With all the busyness of the season, it’s so easy to forget WHY we are buying all these gifts and celebrating with so many parties and get-togethers, but remember it’s Jesus’ birthday we’re celebrating.

I pray you can reach outside of yourself to bring comfort to the ones around you who grieve, hope to the ones around you who despair, and a cup of cold water to those around you in need of the basic necessities.

To all my single friends: may God bless you with a godly man who will sweep you off your feet and show you the true meaning of Romance, not out of a Hollywood movie or a novel but out of God’s Ultimate Love Story where He wooed His own Bride with tender words of compassion. May you find a man who will love you as Christ loves His Church.

To all my married friends: may you be reminded that while your husband and children are gifts, they are not your world. Jesus, who came to us so long ago, is the only one big enough and strong enough to be your entire world. May you see them through the eyes of Christ this year and be more than ever a conduit of His blessing to them.

May you be able to truly experience every part of Christmas this year and find the same awe and wonder that the Shepherds and Wise Men once did so very long ago. May the best gift you receive this year be a heart captivated and enthralled all over again by this Baby born in Bethlehem who grew up to be King.

Amen.

 

Music I Heard: For All The Ones I’ve Lost

While this year for me is a happy time, it’s also brings a bit of sadness with it. The memories of those I’ve loved and lost come more alive at this time of year than at any other time. I’ve been thinking about a particular poem by Conrad Aiken that makes me think of family members whom I wish I could talk to but never will again this side of heaven:

“Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.

Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

For it was in my heart that you moved among them,
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes;
And in my heart they will remember always, –
They knew you once, O beautiful and wise.”

The good news is that there is the other side of heaven where I WILL see all these people again. And Jesus will be there to wipe away every tear from my (and everyone else’s) eyes.

 

I’m So Very Tired That I . . .

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I am tired. I mean more than “I slept until noon and now I need a frappucino from Starbucks” tired. I mean soul-weary and bone-tired. I figured out by my vast mathematical skills that by tomorrow’s end I will have worked almost 70 hours this week. That’s a lot.

I’m so very tired that I spent 20 minutes looking for my iPhone last Sunday. The very iPhone that was attached to my belt the whole time. I even called it a few times from the house phone. Sad.

I’m so very tired that not even my super-awesome concoction of coffee + hot chocolate + creamer seems to be working lately. I even almost miss those Diet Mountain Dews. Almost.

I’m so very tired that I fantasize about sleeping in. Just sleeping in, under the covers, alarm clock turned off. That’s all. And by sleeping in, I mean past 5 am.

I’m so very tired that even I am wondering what I’m doing typing this when I could be sleeping and dreaming and all those restful things. The sacrifices I make for my art. Sigh.

I’m so very tired I think I actually fell asleep twice on Wednesday in the middle of working, each time for about 15 seconds. I don’t think I dreamed that.

I’m so very thankful that my God never gets tired, never needs sleep, never grows weary of watching over His children or blessing them.

I’m so very thankful that there is never a moment when I’m out of His care, away from His gaze, or not in His heart. Not one.

Now I get to go to bed. I get to rest. God willing, I will get to wake up and go to a good job and live my blessed life for one more day.

Life is good, God is great, and I am still more blessed than I deserve.

Questions to Ponder (from May 20, 2010)

“I’ve been thinking about grey areas lately and the question as to whether or not something is a sin or not, like a particular TV show or movie or song or social activity or a particular group of people or whatever.

Here’s are some questions to ask:

Does what I am doing or what I am watching or who I’m around draw me closer to Christ or drive me away?

Does it lead me toward desiring communion with other believers or to despising their company?

Am I in a place where I am wanting to be surrounded by people who are passionately pursuing Jesus or their own pleasures and agendas?

Do the people I hang around with inspire me to be more Christlike?

I think the answer to these questions will indicate whether something is a sin for you or not.

Sin leads you away from God every time. Sin separates you not only from God, but from His people. Sin keeps you playing a role and never being your true self.

These are questions I have to ask of myself and I am by no means offering myself as the expert on the issue. I’m just offering up some food for thought.”

One additional thought: it’s one thing to be around non-believers and try to be an influence. It’s quite another to spent time with people who profess faith with their words but deny it with their lives.

 

Questions I Have Asked Myself (From May 31, 2010)

I wrote this over three years ago when I was in a bit of a different place emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Some of these questions I have had answered and some I am still awaiting the answers for. Some are just goofy.

“Why am I so goofy?

Why can’t I stop overanalysing and simply trust God based on the thousand times He’s come through for me?

Why is it so hard to arrange to have a good sit-down conversation with a girl? I’m not asking for her hand in marriage, just two friends talking. So what’s the hangup?

Why can’t I be content most of the time (when the rare times I am content are so fulfilling)?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Am I the only one who thinks that American Christians (me included) are incredibly shallow, materialistic and not very committed to the Christ whose name we bear?

Why am I so self-righteous when I see how messed-up I could be without the grace of God?

What ever happened to people who keep their word and honor promises, even when it costs them something?

Are red lights optional now?

Why am I so very concerned about what others think and not nearly as concerned with what God thinks about me or other people?

Why do Kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?

Is Hollywood getting dumber or just running out of ideas?

Will anyone actually read this post?

Will God ever give up on me or stop loving me? Hint: the answer is NO!”

Technology Rocks (Or Why I Love My iPad 3)

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Recently, I have made strides in my technological awareness and hipsterness. And by recently, I mean the last two years.

First came the Sony Vaio, which narrowly defeated the MacBook Pro as my choice of laptop. And I do mean narrowly. Ultimately, the Vaio was cheaper.

Then came the iPhone 5. I thought about other choices like droids and Windows phones, but for me it wasn’t much of a contest. Most people I know who have smart phones have iPhones and just about all the ones who have iPhones love them. Case closed.

The iPad 3 came into my hands unexpectedly. I wanted to downsize and simplify my life, so I went through and picked out LOTS of DVDs and CDs to trade in at McKays. I received enough credit to get the 64 GB iPad 3 they had on display.

Actually, I had enough total credit to get two iPads. The first one, an iPad 2, I ended up giving to mother dearest, and the second one I am typing this on.

I’ve decided that my next laptop will in no uncertain terms be a Mac. I think me and Windows have irreconcilable differences and it’s best that we part ways.

I do think that as great and wonderful as technology is, it can (and should) never replace face-to-face conversations. I think we are losing the ability to be in community and to have meaningful relationships due to our unhealthy obsession with all things social media and smart phones and tablets.

It’s not uncommon to ignore the person in front of you to chat with someone via text. Social media might not have killed common courtesy and manners, but it has paved the slippery slope toward that end.

You can have up to 5,000 friends on Facebook and almost as many followers on Twitter and Instagram. The result? We take people and relationships for granted and treat friendships casually and cavalierly.

We’ve even bought into the insidious lie that you can be friends with everyone. You can be friendly with everyone, but if you want actual relationships with even the tiniest bit of depth and meaning, you have to choose a handful of lives to invest in.

I’m glad when I needed help God didn’t send a text or a tweet. He didn’t post on my Facebook wall or poke me. He sent His real-life, flesh-and-blood, one-of-a-kind Son. He took on my skin and walked around in my shoes.

Yeah, I need to put down my devices more and be in the moment. To look people in the eye and smile and say hi. In an age where communication has never been more prevalent and available, people are more lonely than ever before.

But I still want my Mac.

The Continuing Saga of the Quest for the Ultimate Tacky Christmas Sweater

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As you faithful followers of my blogs may know, I have been on an all-consuming quest for THE ultimate tacky Christmas sweater. First, I need to define what a TCS (my lazy way of typing Tacky Christmas Sweater) IS and IS NOT.

It IS tacky. As in obnoxious. As in ugly. As in no normal person would ever wear it out in public unless en route to an Ugly/Tacky Christmas Sweater Party.

It IS NOT merely cute or festive. After all, the idea is not for a cute Christmas sweater. It needs to look like something Great Aunt Judy would wear. The same Great Aunt Judy who collects cats and jello molds and has a mustache.

I have found a Christmas sweater. It doesn’t fit my definition of tacky, i.e. lights up and makes festive sounds, but it will do if nothing else better turns up. It does have penguins on it, which makes it moderately tacky. But not enough to win any major awards.

So the quest continues. It is not for the faint of heart or weak of bladder. Only the stalwart and adventurous need apply.

And I am still accepting TCS donations. Remember, I wear a size L.

Ohhhhhhhh, Fudge– Yet Another Monday Morning in Perspective

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This was one of those kind of Monday mornings that make you want to say, “Ohhhh, fudge.” At least it did for me. And yes, I mean the kind of fudge like in the movie A Christmas Story.

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I was happily rolling along. . . well, at 5:30 am, it was more like sleepily rolling along to work. Then I looked up. It was either an 18-wheeler or large bus coming toward me, hugging the yellow lines. So I did what any red-blooded male would do.

I panicked.

I went to give the behemoth vehicle a wide berth and went too wide. My tires hit the edge of the pavement. It sounded like the whole side of my car was being shredded.

I managed to get to the side of the road. I was expecting to see gory car wreck carnage. Thankfully, all I saw was one fatally punctured tire.

I called AAA because I am mechanically challenged even when it comes to changing a tire. In my defense, those lug-nuts were on that wheel tight.

What was supposed to take 45 minutes or less took almost 1 1/2 hours. So I was late to work.

But after that, it got better. And I have to keep a few things in mind:

I’m sooo glad I had my AAA road service paid up.

I’m thankful I have a car to almost (but thankfully not) wreck.

I’m blessed to have a job to go to even if it occasionally starts at 6 am.

I’m grateful for a very understanding boss.

Most of all, I’m thankful every day that I don’t get what I deserve. I get grace instead.

PS  don’t suppose cussing in your head merits having to wash your mouth out with soap, right?

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Pre-WordPress Writings Part 4

God forgive me for being nice

God, forgive me for being nice and polite and when I should have been taking risks and living. Forgive me for trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be and not being me. Forgive me that I am just beginning to learn who that person is. Forgive me for thinking I had to beg people to like me and earn their approval. Forgive me for trying to define myself by what some girl or some group or some status, but not believing that You defined me and said that I was good. No. More than good. I am your masterpiece. Forgive me that I am going to check to see if anyone read this note and if they liked it. If no one reads it but me and you, it was worth it. If anyone had any doubts before, this will set the record straight. I am a broken man who has found grace in Jesus and wants the world to know that He can take broken lives and make them whole again. I am no longer a nice guy. I am a godly man. I am a warrior. My Abba is very fond of me!

This note is for people who will never read it (got your attention now?)

My greatest fear is that if people ever really find out who I am and what I am like, they will leave me and want nothing else to do with me. That I am not good enough. That I do not have what it takes.

So I live to please others. I become whoever I think they want me to be. I strive constantly to prove myself to others, so they can tell me who I am. That I do have what it takes. I feel that if I can make them like me, then I am worthy and not a cosmic *$#-up.

But I can’t make anyone like me or be interested in me. I can only let God love me and let that Love define me. If I let people tell me who I am and define me, they will get it wrong. If I make pleasing people my purpose, they will fail me every single time.

Lord, you are telling me that I am someone beautiful who has meaning and is worthy. I am good enough and I do have what it takes because I have you. I believe what You say about me. Lord, I do believe. Help my unbelief.

 

Advent Time Is Here

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I’m a total and complete geek when it comes to all things Christmas. I love gaudy decorations (the gaudier the better), sentimental Christmas movies, old-school Christmas music, and all those seasonal drinks like egg nog and peppermint mocha and all things pumpkin spice.

A few years back, I discovered about Advent. I always thought it was a creepy Catholic thing (not that I’m saying there’s anything more creepy about Catholics than about Baptists).

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I bought a really nice edition of The Book of Common Prayer and started reading the collects related to the four Sundays of Advent. I found a great Advent devotional called The Christ of Christmas by Calvin Miller, with devotionals for the 31 days of December.

I love the idea behind the five Advent candles, starting with the candle of hope, or the Prophecy Candle. I love the imagery of the verses from Isaiah 11 that go with it:

“But a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: a spirit of wisdom and of understanding, A spirit of counsel and of strength, a spirit of knowledge and of fear of the Lord, and his delight shall be the fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:1-3 NABRE).”

I recently heard Ann Voskamp talk about the imagery here. New life coming from death, the rotting stump of a broken life. Out of the wreckage comes a hope and a future. Out of the smoldering ruins of my dashed hopes and crushed dreams comes a new hope growing in the very spot where those hopes and dreams perished.

Week two is all about preparation, the Bethlehem Candle. Will I choose to make my heart a Bethlehem to receive the coming infant King? Will I be ready to find Him when He arrives not in the pomp and splendor of a throne but in a dirty trough that animals feed in?

Did I mention how much I love Advent? I’m still figuring out how to fully savor these four weeks not get caught up in that “one more present, one more party” mentality.

Look for Part Two coming one week from tonight. Until then, feel free to partake in some pumpkin spice egg nog.