hope

Choices

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I have been thinking a lot lately. Probably too much. I do tend to overthink and overanalyze every little thing.

I’ve decided that living your life based on feelings is a poor way to live. Feelings are so fickle and shallow and affected by every little thing. If you rely solely on feelings, you will be scattered and tossed about by every wind and wave. If you let them, feelings will control you, not the other way around.

Instead I am living by choice.

I choose to believe the best about my friends at all times, especially when circumstances and feelings tell me not to, because circumstances and feelings are very often misleading.

I choose not base relationships on responses (or lack thereof) to posts and texts and messages. That’s just plain silly. It doesn’t indicate anything other than the other person actually has a life and doesn’t spend it all on facebook.

I choose to never ever ever ever give up on anyone in my life because I know that God never gave up on me and I have had people in my life who chose to not give up on me when they had every right to.

I choose to live by faith, not by sight or feelings or perceptions. ‘Nuff said.

I choose to give God the same room and space and time to work in the lives of my friends and family as He took in my own life. It took me a while to get where I am (and I’m not done yet) so I realize that others are also broken people in the process of being made whole.

I choose to keep doing what I’m doing. I’ll keep texting and posting encouragement even if no one responds or likes or comments on it. I’ll keep blogging even if no one reads them. I’ll keep praying even if I don’t get any visible answers. I’ll keep believing even when it feels stupid and fake. I’ll keep trusting God to work in and through my life even in those moments when it all seems pointless.

That’s what I choose today. I choose to serve the Lord.

Taking Every Thought Captive

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

“But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I would choose to listen and believe the voice of truth” (Casting Crowns)
Lately, I’ve been really convicted about my sin in not taking every thought captive and submitting it to the Lordship of Christ. Here I am committing to doing just that, with you as my witnesses to hold me accountable.

 I am naming these thoughts for what they are so that they will not only be taken captive, but lose their power over me once and for all:

1)     “My friends can make time for everyone else, but they don’t have time for me.” I renounce that as a lie from the father of lies, because I choose to believe the best about my friends and the God we both serve.

2)     “I’ve blown a friendship and my friend will never again want to hang out with me or see me again.” Nothing is ever as bad as my fears make me think and God is not only able to save me, but take care of me and sustain my friendships.

3)     “I am too weird and messed up to expect my friends to stick around.” I may not be normal (and I’ve never claimed to be), but in my God’s eyes I am exactly who He made me to be and He sees the perfection of Jesus in me.

4)     “Maybe if I try hard enough, people will like me more, and the harder I try, the more they will like me.” It’s not about trying harder or pleasing people, but about being the best me possible and pleasing God. If I seek Him and His reign in my life, everything else will be taken care of.

5)      “My  friend used to comment on my posts on facebook and text me more. Then it got less and less and now they never comment or like or text me anything. That must mean they don’t like me anymore.” It just means that maybe that person is going through a period of extreme busyness or a season of dealing with their own issues. Not everything is about me (thank God for that!)

Maybe you are believing different lies, or maybe you’ve believed the same lies I have. Don’t for one more second let these thoughts have dominion over you. Renounce them and name them as lies and rebuke their author in the name and the blood of Jesus.

I choose to listen to and believe the Voice of Truth. Will you?

Praying on the Armor of God

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I had an epiphany recently. Well, more of a “duh” kind of moment. I realized that I had been neglecting to pray on the armor of God every morning and I could tell the difference.

I was vulnerable and easy prey for the enemy to attack, particularly in my mind. So I started back praying on the armor. I cannot urge you stronly enough to do this EVERY morning. Here’s how I pray the armor on:

“Lord, I take on the belt of truth today. May Your truth hold me together and tell me who I am, not what I’m feeling or thinking at the moment or what my circumstances or other people say.

Lord, I take on the breastplate of righteousness. May Your righteousness be my covering today. Protect my heart and my emotions and keep them centered in You, so that I am not swept away by every feeling or fear that comes my way.

Lord, I take on the shoes of the readiness of the gospel of peace. Help me always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks about the hope I have and may I be able to share Your Gospel with at least one person today.

Lord, I take on the helmet of salvation. Protect my thoughts today from the evil one and help me take every single thought captive and bring it under Your Lordship. Fill me with Your thoughts so that there is no room for thoughts that are not of You.

Lord, I take on the shield of faith. Protect me from the assaults of the enemy today, whether they be physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional. Be my Fortress and Shield and Mighty Defender today, because without You, I will certainly fall.

Lord, last but not least, I take on the sword of the Spirit. Bring Your Word to my mind at every possible moment and help the Bible not to be words on a page or nice sentiments, but Words that transform and change me in a radical way. Help me not only to read them, but obey them.”

You may pray something different. You may physically act out putting on the armor as you pray (I do that sometimes when I feel especially under attack). The important thing is to pray these things on at least once a day if not more.

The battle is real and if you’re not ready, you will be overcome. Choose this day to live as an Overcomer and Conqueror in Christ.

A Missionary Blessing

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May God bless your mind and give it unity of thought and focus, so that you are totally committed to building the Kingdom of God and helping people find freedom and deliverance through Jesus Christ.

May God bless your hands so that your hands become God’s hands and your touch brings healing and restoration and people who’ve been around you will know that they have been touched by the very hand of God.

May God bless your feet so that you walk in His footsteps and every place you go is no longer sin’s domain, but the place where God reigns. So that wherever your foot lands becomes holy ground.

May God bless your eyes so that you see beyond yourself and see lost and hurting people, see the pain in their eyes, see the need all around you, and see that the fields really are white unto harvest.

May God bless your heart so that it feels what God feels and yearns for what God yearns for. May what breaks God’s heart break yours and may His perfect and complete love flow through you to everyone you meet.

May you not only speak Jesus and live Jesus, but be Jesus everywhere you go. May you be the pleasing aroma of Christ in every place and may every breath you take be a prayer and every word you speak be a praise.

Go forth and turn this upside-down world right-side up again. In the name of Jesus.

Amen.

The Hardest Person to Forgive

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despair
I  recently messed up with a friend and spent the whole day beating myself up. Believe it or not, that’s an improvement over what I would have done a year ago. My whole day wasn’t ruined, at least.

I got admonished and I deserved it. I won’t go into details or name names, but I certainly had it coming. In fact, it was much more kind and graceful than I really deserved.

I kept running lines from the note through my mind and wishing I could go back and undo what I had done. I couldn’t and I can’t.

All this is to say that the person who most needs to forgive me is me. I hope and pray my friend forgives me, but I know that unless I do, I’ll be stuck and unable to move forward.

Did I mention I am hard on myself? I am better than I was. I used to be extraordinarily hard on myself, but I’ve eased up a bit in my old age.

If you feel like you can’t forgive yourself, let me tell you you’re not alone. I’ve felt that way and I understand. You may think you never will come to that place, but I am living proof that you can and you will.

Just let the Word of Truth wash over you. Let Jesus speak healing over you. Remember that you are still His beloved, no matter what. He at least will never give up on you or quit wanting to be around you.

Anyway, that’s my confession session for the day. I pray it will speak to someone and bring deliverance where it is most needed.

Farewell to Mayberry

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I saw recently where Andy Griffith passed away. For me, it’s truly the end of an era of innocence and simplicity. Sure, I know that the old Andy Griffith Show wasn’t the most realistic TV show ever, but even if it was only a dream, it was a good dream.

Thank you, Andy.

You showed the world that a true man doesn’t need swagger or bravado to be a man. A true man doesn’t need to yell or hit people to prove his masculinity.

You showed that being a real man means being a good nephew, a good father, and a good citizen. You showed that masculinity means leading by example and not just with words.

You showed me it’s okay to admit when you’re wrong and ask forgiveness. You weren’t perfect by any means, but you never quit being the gentleman or took the day off from doing the right thing.

Thank you for your humble attitude, your love for your son, your love of God, and your quiet determination.

I and every other man look at you as a hero and hope to be the kind of man you were someday.

 

What Do You Want?

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At Kairos tonight, Mike Glenn posed this question: Suppose God shows up in front of you and asks you want you want, no limits and no restrictions. What would you ask for?

The Bible relates that happening to King Solomon. He could have asked for the death of his enemies or vast wealth. He probably didn’t need any more wives, so I imagine that wasn’t an option.

He chose wisdom.

What would you choose? What would I choose?

I want my answer to be as much of God as I can handle. I remember the verse in Matthew that says to seek first the Kingdom of God and all His righteousness, and everything else will be added.

That’s not saying that I will strike it rich or that a fabulously wealthy uncle that I’ve never heard of will kick the bucket and leave his gazillions to me. That’s saying that I will get what I need when I need it.

My growing desire these days is to hunger and thirst after God more than anything else. Before you start thinking how super-spiritual I am, let me rephrase that statement. I want to want to hunger and thirst after God more than anything else.

Happiness fades. As soon as I’ve found what I think will make me happy, the feeling wears off.

I want joy. I want the kind of joy that comes from being grounded in the truth of who Jesus is and who I am in Christ. I want joy that outlasts seasons of happiness and sadness, sunshine and rain (now you’re probably humming that song from the early 90’s), bliss and pain.

I want to be able to say (and mean it) that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away and my joy is the same, regardless.

What a lost world needs to see isn’t happy Christians, but believers so full of joy that nothing and no one can touch or take away. May we be so full of the joy and love of Christ that it can’t help but spill out onto those around us who need it.

 

 

Cutting Hearts

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I spent my evening doing something that I honestly never thought I would ever do again in this lifetime. Something I hadn’t done in a very long time.

I spent it cutting out paper hearts. It was part of preparation for Vacation Bible School we’re doing down at Set Free Church, a ministry that helps homeless men find their way back and helps heal families.

Then I got to thinking. Isn’t that sort of what God is doing with my own heart?

I don’t mean that God is using literal scissors, although at times that’s what it feels like.

I mean that God is in the process of reshaping and remolding my heart into one that can He can use to reach out to the people around me.

Sometimes, that means my heart gets broken. I’ve had countless times where my love for another went unreturned. I’ve had times when a dream I cherished got dashed to pieces.

More often than not, it means a snip here and there. I lose a bit of my selfishness and make room for doing for others without expecting anything in return. I lose the need to always be acknowledged and loved and learn to love and serve those who may never be able to repay me.

Ultimately, it’s about my heart looking like God’s own heart. It’s about my heart beating with His heartbeat and feeling His feelings and loving those He loves with His own perfect love.

It’s a lifelong process that involves Him chiseling away at my hard heart while softening it at the same time.

That’s my prayer for you, too. That you would have God’s own heart beating within you to love the unloveable and reach out to the hopeless and helpless and show the world that no one is beyond the reach of God’s power to heal and change and transform.

I know, because I was one of those hopeless ones at one point. So were you.

Lost

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“Only love has saved me now

Turned my fear to holy ground

I was lost but now am found

Only love has saved me now”

I was lost.

I was the lost sheep that the Shepherd left the other 99 to go and find. I was the one who wandered away, who thought I knew better than the very Shepherd who had led me all the way to this point. Still, He came for me.

I was the lost coin that the woman turned the house upside down to find. In my own eyes, I wasn’t worth very much but in her eyes I was worth every bit of effort it took her to find me.

I was the younger son who ran away and blew my inheritance. I wanted out and to be on my own. I was the one who finally came to his senses and made my way shamefully back home, rehearsed speech in hand, only to have my own father that I denied and disowned come running up to me and throw his arms around me and love me more than ever.

I was the older son who stayed, but rebelled in his heart. I dutifully kept the rules and thought that entitled me to something. I was so caught up in doing the right thing that I missed grace when I saw it with my own eyes.

I am found.

I am learning what it means to be valued in God’s eyes. I am finding out what it means when He calls me Beloved and tells me I was worth every bit of what He paid to win me back.

I am learning to see other people the same way. Not as those who can meet my needs and make me feel validated, but those whom God has placed alongside me for me to bless and encourage and be Jesus to every step of the way.

I once was lost but now I’m found.

Amen.

5 Minutes

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I’ve been trying to lose weight and get in shape. Lately, that means putting in an hour on the elliptical. For me, that’s a lot.

Some mornings, I feel there’s no way I can last that long. So I try for the first 5 minutes. After that, I try for 10. And so forth. If I break an hour down into 5-minute segments, it’s not nearly so bad.

Life is like that.

Some days, you think there’s no way you can survive for the next 24-hours. You feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. Don’t try. Just take the next 5 minutes and breathe deeply and slowly and think to yourself, “I can survive the next 5 minutes.”

Sometimes, you are held captive by your fears telling you that you’ve really messed it up this time and that friend is gone for good. It’s tempting to try and fix what really isn’t broken (which never works, by the way). Or you take the next 5 minutes and are able to start seeing the cracks in the fabric of that lie.

You can do anything for 5 minutes. You can pray or be silent or wait. You can breathe slowly and deeply. You can remember one blessing God has given you and dwell on that.

When I’m stressed out and can’t sleep, 5 minutes of meditating on the goodness of God can make all the difference. It can take me from almost falling back into my old approval-addiction, “nobody likes me” trap to remembering that I am still blessed with family and friends who surprise me all the time in unexpected ways with grace at every turn.

So set your stopwatch or your phone for 5 minutes. It may be a small start, but sometimes all Jesus needs in your life is the smallest place to start. Then He can do amazing things in your life.

I am living proof of that.