hope

Grace Moments

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Today, I took my lunch at 11:30. I almost always take my lunch at noon, but for whatever reason, I took my lunch today at 11:30. I got a call from a friend of mine who had free tickets to see Casting Crowns at the Bridgestone Arena and wanted to know if I wanted to go. I was thinking in my head “Is Bill Gates rich? Does the Pope wear funny hats? Heck yeah!”

So I ended up at Bridgestone Arena in the club seat section, witnessing one of the best Christian concerts I have ever been to. It was a very good night. I may feel like a zombie, but I am one content and satisfied zombie.

Mark Hall, the lead singer for Casting Crowns, said something that grabbed my attention. He said that God sees your future as a memory. He’s already in it. He’s on the other side of it.

He talked about life as a kind of parade that we’re stuck in, watching the floats go by and waiting for the candy at the end. Some of the floats make no sense to us and we sometimes wonder if the parade will ever end. God sits above the parade and sees the whole thing from beginning to end.

Some parts of our lives make no sense to us. The pain seems senseless, the tragedy seems pointless, and nothing ever seems to get better. The good news of the gospel is that we have a God who is on the other side of the pain. Not only that, He’s with you in the midst of pain. He was there when you received the wound.

The beautiful part about Jesus being outside of time, as one pastor said, is that He can go back to the point in time where that person wounded you and heal you so that you’re no longer bleeding into the present.

And yes, if you look, you can find moments of unexpected grace even in the pain. Moments where you catch a glimpse of the glory that’s on the other side waiting for you. Moments that give you hope to get through.

Jesus has got a strong-arm grip on you and He’s not about to let you go. Nothing, not the pain, not the storm, not even you, can separate you from God’s love. That’s worth celebrating. That’s grace.

Life and How to Live It (No Relation to the R.E.M. Song)

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This past Wednesday, I went to Williamson Medical Center to see my newborn niece for the first time. Displaying my usual directional prowess, I barged into the wrong entrance, meandered aimlessly around for a bit, came back out, puttered around the building, and finally found the right entrance.

As I left the elevator, I almost ran into a lady who was obviously upset and weeping. As she entered the elevator, I heard sobs beginning. I’m sure she had just enough strength to get to her car before she completely fell apart.

I can only imagine the loss of a loved one could bring out such grief. To think I passed someone who had just said their final goodbyes when I was on my way to say my first hello to the newest member of the family.

Life is like that. So much joy and sorrow, laugher and mourning, sunshine and rain (I bet those of you who grew up in the 90’s immediately thought of the same song I’m thinking of now. Good luck getting that out of your head!) Very rarely is life as good as it could be or as bad. It’s usually somewhere in the middle.

I was reminded tonight that the story I’m in isn’t a “me-story,” but a “God-story.” I love the way someone put it tonight: I didn’t invite Jesus to be in my story, but Jesus did invite me to be a part of God’s story of redemption and restoration for the world.

God’s plan is still the best plan because He sees what we oftentimes can’t. He can get you through anything, no matter how dark or hopeless it seems. He is always, always for you. His love is still the most powerful element in the universe, more than any weapon or group or force that ever has been or ever will be.

My advice to you (but mostly to myself) is to live in the wonder of God’s story and never cease to be amazed at what He is doing in you, through you, and around you. Always keep your eyes open with the expectations of seeing God do amazing things.

I love this passage. I think it says what I’m trying to say a thousand times better:

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!” (Romans 8:15-17)

Welcome to the World, Baby Girl

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Welcome to the world, little Catherine Elizabeth Qualls. We’ve been waiting for your arrival and you showed up. In fact, you were so eager to make an appearance, you showed up early. That’s okay. We don’t mind in the least. We’re very glad to see you.

I remember holding you and thinking how small you were. How fragile and helpless, but strong and resiliant at the same time. You had my heart the first time I saw you. I’m so proud to be your uncle.

I’ve heard it said that people don’t have children because they don’t want to bring them into this cold, hard, cruel world. But who’s to say that those very children aren’t the ones who God will use to radically turn the world upside down? Who’s to say that they won’t be the ones to accept the world as it is, but try to bring a little of the Kingdom of Heaven to earth?

I don’t know what plans God has for you. I do know they are good. I know He loves you much more than your parents or relatives or any other human being possibly could. He already has your name, Catherine Elizabeth, tattoed on His heart and on His hands.

As you grow up, you will find life is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly. You will find sometimes you don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need. You will find you can’t be whatever you want to be, but you can be exactly who God made you to be. That’s my dream for you.

My dream is to see you become the fully alive woman of God who isn’t afraid to take her faith into the lions’ dens of the world and who is convinced of her beliefs, yet compassionate and tenderhearted toward the down and out.

I can’t wait to see you grown up and find the beauty God has for you. I know it will be so much more than worth the wait.

Who You Are

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“Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete” (1 Cor. 1:20-22).

The Bible says that whoever is in Christ is a new creation. Not just an overhauled creation or a rebuild creation or a refurbished creation. A completely new, never before seen creation. I think this is what that means.

You are God’s YES to the world, when the world asks can anyone really change and can anything good come out of a bad situation.

You are God’s AMEN, an exclamation point to the story of God’s power to change lives and redeem lost causes.

You are God’s POSSIBLE, for what is impossible for us is not even remotely diffucult for God (thanks to Pete Wilson for that one!)

You are God’s I CAN, when people say it can’t be done, that there’s no way, that it’s too late and I’ve screwed up too much for God to use.

You are God’s AMAZING, a testimony to how God can make brokenness into beautiful and He can even make the brokenness itself beautiful by how His strength is made perfect in it.

You are God’s LOVE STORY, His epic whirlwind romance about how He went to every length and never gave up in His pursuit to win your heart and how now your name is BELOVED.

You are GOD’S OWN, precious to Him and safe in His everlasting arms always. He’ll never let you go or give up on you or decide you’re not worth it.

That’s WHO YOU ARE.

It’s Not Your Fault

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In my defense, I just finished watching Good Will Hunting, so if this blog bombs big time, blame it on that. That out of the way, here goes.

It’s not your fault. Yes, I know I completely stole that line from the movie, but it’s true. It’s not your fault.

I’m not saying that you never do wrong or sin. I’m not saying that you can blame everyone else and never take ownership for your life. I know that I screw up daily and don’t need to be reminded. You’re the same way.

But maybe you’re carrying around guilt for something that isn’t your fault. I’m here to tell you: it’s not your fault.

Maybe you had a father who hit you or a mother who called you names put you down. It’s not your fault.

Maybe you had relationship end because the other person just didn’t care enough to try anymore. It’s not your fault.

Maybe you wanted a relationship but the other person didn’t want to take the risk. It’s not your fault.

Maybe you lost a loved one– a parent, a friend, a mentor and, worst of all, a child. Maybe you blame yourself, thinking God was somehow punishing you. It’s not your fault.

I still don’t understand why some things happen. I don’t get why so many people can be so mean and cruel and do horrible things to other people. Maybe I never will.

I do know that the same God who loves me like crazy love you the same way. I do know that this same God roots for you and wants the best for you. I do know that He’s the most sure and safest bet you’ll ever make.

Let go of all the blame you’ve assigned to yourself. Believe that you are wonderfully and fearfully made and your life is uniquely yours and no one else will ever have your life. Remember, like I always tell you, your Abba is still very fond of you.

That’s the only opinion that matters anyway.

Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given

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lifeofthebeloved

“During the meal, Jesus took and blessed the bread, broke it, and gave it to his disciples: Take, eat. This is my body” (Matthew 26:26).

I’m in the middle of another Henri Nouwen book and I am loving it. He more than any other writer (except for maybe Brennan Manning) always seems to speak to where I am right here and now.

He says, “To identify the movements of the Spirit in our lives, I have found it helpful to use four words: ‘taken,’ ‘blessed,’ broken,’ and ‘given.'”

I had never thought about it that way before. I never looked at Jesus breaking the bread at Passover and made an analogy to my own life.

We are taken (or chosen) by God who loved us from the start. We are blessed by Him with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. We are broken by our own sin and the broken and marred world we live in with so much poverty, injustice, and inhumanity. We are given to be God’s hands and feet to bring healing and justice and compassion into the world.

I read somewhere that my life is loaves and fishes. Remember the ones that Jesus used to feed the 5,000? In and of myself, I can’t do much. But if I am blessed and broken and poured out, God can bless so many more through me.

News flash: God takes and uses broken lives, scarred hearts, screwed-up pasts, and promises left unfulfilled. He can use anybody. In fact, He more often than not prefers the outcasts and nobodies and failures to be the ones to turn the world upside down (see the 12 disciples for examples).

Lord, may I be taken by You, Who chose me before I was born and gave me the name Beloved, and blessed with as much of You as I can stand. Break my heart for the things that break Yours and then give me out to those in need.

PS The book I’m reading is Life of the Beloved. Expect more blogs to come out of this. I’m not even halfway through. And, to throw in yet another shameless plug, go buy or download or pilfer or ingest this book as soon as humanly possible. It’s that good.

The Little Things

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littles

A lot of us (me included) have this idea that life should be epic and full of dramatic, Gladiator-style moments where risks are involved and manly muscles are flexed. Life usually isn’t like that. Besides, I am decidedly lacking in the manly muscle department.

Like a friend of mine said, life is like taking 10,000 steps every single day. Every step you take leads you closer or further away from your desired destination. For believers, that means every step leads you closer or further away from Christ.

Obedience is the same way. Most of the time, we’re not called to make the ultimate sacrifice and jump in front of a fast-moving train to save a group of Girl Scouts. Mostly, obedience is doing the next small thing you know to do. It’s a thousand tiny deaths to comfort, pride, convenience, and self.

We become like Jesus when we take the tiny steps and do the little acts He calls us to each day. I love the statement that there is no microwave holiness, but that sanctification is a lifelong process that we never really finish here.

Life is in the details. It’s the small stuff we look past waiting for the grand moments. It’s what we miss in the present because we are too occupied with the past or obsessed with the future.

That’s where Jesus is strongest. Jesus is strong in that moment when you’re wondering how you can get through the next 5 minutes. Jesus is strongest when you don’t see how you can get it all together.

Rarely does God speak in the dramatic James Earl Jones-type voice (not the Darth Vader voice, the other one). It’s ususally a still, small voice that you’ll miss unless you can be still and quiet and present in the moment.

Thank you, God, for the little moments. That’s where life happens and that’s where You’re making me more like Jesus.

My Prayer For You

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I pray for you, my friends, these things tonight:

That you can pray the prayer that asks for nothing but instead thanks God for what He’s given.

That you know deeply at the soul level how much your Abba really is fond of you.

That you can rest in the night and hear the voice of the Father God singing joyfully over you.

That you are baby-content as you feel the Everlasting Arms underneath that won’t ever let go.

That you will let go of all the shame and guilt that weigh you down and leave them at the Cross where they were paid for once and for all.

That you never stop being amazed and astounded at what God is doing in and through you.

That whatever God speaks to you and whatever He asks of you, that you’re only reply is “Here am I, Lord. Send me.”

That you forever declare your dependence on God and remember that His strength works best in your weakness.

That you know that you are in Good Hands.

When the Lights Go Out

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lucynarnia

I was en route from Memphis recently, listening to a book on CD, as all well-seasoned travellers do. It was The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, book 5 of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It was read by Derek Jacobi, by the way, in case you were dying to know.

In the book, the Dawn Treader sails into an island of darkness. It’s a place where fear rules and all nightmares come to life. Lucy is at the top of the ship, watching as the crew tries vainly to escape. In her desperation, she says, “Aslan, if you ever loved us, help us now.” The answer to her prayer is an albatross who, as he flies by her, whispers, “Courage, dear heart,” in Aslan’s voice. He then leads them out into the sunlight.

I bet you’ve been in some dark places in your life. You’ve felt trapped in the valley of the shadow of death, where no light or hope can get through. You’ve been searching for a way out, but all you find is more darkness, more despair, more hopelessness.

You feel your circumstances will never get better. You fear that nothing will ever change. You come to believe that your worst-case scenario is due to come true any day now. Your faith is at a low ebb and your fears are cresting and crashing waves that swamp you.

There’s a voice, if you are still enough to hear it, that whispers the same words what it whispered to Lucy. “Courage, dear heart.” It says, “Hold on. Trust in Me in the darkness even when you can’t find Me there. I am with you, with My everlasting arms underneath you. I will never ever let go.”

Don’t believe that you feel or what you think, but what you know. Believe the same God who has proved Himself over and over and Whose word is true. Know that He is with you and for you in your darkness. Darkness may prevail right now, but joy is coming with the morning.

20 Years Later: Thoughts on Another Reunion

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Recently, I had my 20-year high school reunion. I guess that makes me old, huh? I don’t feel like I’m 20, much less that I’ve been out of high school for 20 years. Maybe it’s denial, but I don’t care.

I’ve been thinking about the whole weekend and I’ve had some thoughts I’d like to share.

1) No one should be defined by how they acted in high school. I know that I for one was ruled by fear and insecurities in high school and never really took any chances or got out of my tiny comfort zone. Sometimes meanness is just someone acting out of hurt or fear.

2) Grace is still a good thing. I know I need it, so I try to show it as much as I can. It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and believing that who you are isn’t always what you do. So I try to give a person a break when they don’t treat me right. It may be one small act of kindness that can change that person’s outlook.

3) I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I feel a lot like Joseph when I look back on how I was picked on and made fun of. God used it to shape me into who I am and I am not sorry it happened. If that’s what it took to get me to where I am, I am thankful for it.

4) People really do matter. Friendships matter. The only things that last aren’t what we’ve accumulated, but what we’ve sacrificed and given away. I’ve heard that the only currency on heaven is love.

5) 80% of success is showing up, or so I’m told. I think it’s higher than that. To be brave enough to show up and be yourself, warts and all, is success, no matter what happens after that. And to all those who missed out on the 20th reunion, I hope you are doing well and I hope to see you in 5 years.

6) Forgiveness is still a beautiful thing. Forgiving someone means that you are freed from the power they had over you by what they did to you. Forgiving means that you release that person from the expectation that they can fix what they did wrong. Sometimes the person you most need to forgive is yourself.

7) At the end of the day, only the love of God can get you though. It’s not being clever or resourceful or smart or crafty enough, because all those will fail. Only the arms of Jesus are strong enough to carry you through.

I hope to have more thoughts five years from now to share. Until then, I am thankful yet again for friendships that last and for memories that remind me of how good my God is.