hope

How Much?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I’m still reading the book Not a Fan (and still being blown away by its awesome-ness, to coin a new word). The part I read was about passionate pursuit as a part of being a true follower of Jesus and not just a fan.

This part really hit me hard. It convicted me big time. Where Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me,” the part that got me wasn’t what you think it would be.

It was “come after”. The book talks about coming after Jesus like a man passionately and romatically pursues a woman. It means to “follow hard” after God, as it says in the Psalms.

It means that I must want God more than I want anything in this life. I must love God more than family, more than friends, more than a spouse, more than a career, more than even my own life.

It means that no price is too high to pay to follow Jesus and know His heart for the world. Even carrying the cross daily is not too high a price. Death is not too high a price.

I was convicted that I am still captive to what others think. I am still bound to if someone likes what I say or doesn’t like it. I have to die to that. The only opinion that matters is what God thinks. If I am seeking to please people, as the Bible says, I won’t be aiming to please God.

The question of the hour is this: How much do I really want God? How much am I willing to risk, how much am I willing to sacrifice to pursue the God who pursued me with everything He had?

The Bible talks about wanting God more than life. As the deer pants for the water, so should we want God. Water isn’t something that would be nice to have. It’s life. In the same way, God isn’t one more thing to make my life better. He’s my life.

Until I see my deep need and until I recognize that my very survival depends on me pursuing God at all costs until He finds me, I will never really truly follow hard after Him.

As always, I am a work in progress who is learning a new way to live and a new way to think. God is perfectly patient with me. I pray you will be, too. I will do my best to be patient with you.

And above all, let us learn what it means to come after Jesus until it is our all-consuming desire. That’s my prayer for you tonight.

Communion

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I took communion today as a part of the worship service. It really hit home and reminded me of how great the price Jesus paid for me. If I had a communion prayer to express my thoughts, it would go something like this:

When I was lost and couldn’t find You and couldn’t even find myself, You came down and found me.

When I was dead to you and the things in life that really matter, You made me alive to the wonder and beauty of the world You made and mostly, alive to You and alive in You.

When I was a stranger and an outcast looking in from the outside, You took me in and made me one of Your own and called Me Your child.

When I was a captive to my sin and fears, You opened the doors to my prison and set me free forever.

When I was exhausted and couldn’t find rest from all the anxious thoughts running around in my head, You simply said, “Come to me and I will give you rest.” You took those anxious thoughts from me and gave me sweet sleep.

When I was in darkness, You were the light that helped me find my way.

When I was Your enemy, You loved me anyway and paid much too high a price because You thought I was worth dying for.

When I felt alone, You were with me in the night, holding me in Your arms and rejoicing over me with singing.

When I couldn’t speak, You were my Voice. When I couldn’t pray, You were my Prayer. When I couldn’t sing, You were my Song.

When I was weak, You were my Strength. When I had nothing in me to give, You were my Sacrifice.

As I take your bread, I remember Your body broken so that I might be whole and healed. As I take your wine, I remember Your blood spilled out completely for me that my broken pieces might be put back together again.

With this communion, I say again, “Thank you for my life. It’s Yours for whatever, whenever, and however You want to use it. Pour it out for others. May it be broken and blessed to feed the multitudes. Make me a blessing and an answer to prayer and Jesus to someone today.

Amen.

The Only Thing that Doesn’t Change

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“the only thing that doesn’t change
makes everything else rearrange
is the speed of light, the speed of light
your love for me must be the speed of light” (Julie Miller)

I’ve heard it said that the only constant in life is change. Nothing in life ever stays the same. People come and people go, sometimes without any reason. Nature is full of change with the whole cycle of birth and death and rebirth.

I know there’s one thing that doesn’t change. One of my favorite verses says that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (at least I’m 95% sure that’s a verse in the Bible). Another verse says that God is not like a man that He should lie or change His mind.

I can rest knowing that no matter what happens to me, no matter what I do or don’t do, no matter how things go my way or even if my life completely implodes, God is the same.

It boggles my mind to thing that God never loves me less than perfectly, that He never does anything less than the very best for me, that He never, ever breaks His promises toward me.

I’ve learned the hard way that overanalyzing everything always leads to stress and wrong conclusions. Trying to guess people’s motives and thoughts is like trying to nail jello to a tree or to herd cats.

That’s why God says, “Trust Me. I have everything under control. I will never leave you or forsake you and I promise to not give up or quit on you, but finish the work I started in you. Trust what I am doing in and around you. One day, you will see with your eyes the perfect final result, but until then, you must see with the eyes of faith.”

I mentioned this before, but it’s so good I have to repeat it. I heard someone say that what you think and what you feel will lie to you, so you go with what you know. That is, you go with the one thing that never changes. God and His love for you.

 

What Jesus Said to Me Today

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“My child, you have been listening to your fears again.

Those fears told you lies with just enough truth in them to deceive you. Those fears told you that your friends will see your faults and leave you. Your fears told you that I am not enough, that my provision is lacking, and that you need something more than Me.

When I died, I defeated the Master of all Lies once and for all. His lies have no more power over you except that which you give them. If you listen to the lies, you let them control you and have power over you, but if you listen to My voice and fear Me only, the lies lose their power.

All you have to do is speak My name over these lies. Believe that My love is more powerful than any pain, any hurt, any half-truth, any stronghold, and any temptation you face. I have overcome them all and in Me you are more than a conqueror.

I have you safely in the palm of My hand. Nothing can get to you to harm you and nothing can come near you that I haven’t allowed.  I will protect you and surround you with My love and fill you with My peace. I will sing songs over you that remind you that You are Mine.

I love you. You are my BELOVED. Nothing will ever change that. No lie can erase that. Sleep in this truth and know that I am with you now and forever.”

Forgiveness

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Tonight, Mike Glenn talked about forgiveness at Kairos. He said forgiveness is releasing the other person from the expectation that they can fix the wrong and the hurt they caused you. He said forgiveness is when you are no longer defined by the pain and the hurt and the grudge, but by the love of Jesus.

He added that Jesus said to him once, “You can hold on to the hate for the person who hurt you or you can hold on to My love, but you cannot hold on to both.” When Jesus whispered, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing,” He was praying for those who hurt you. He was also praying for you.”

We are called to forgive. Jesus said the Father would forgive you as you forgave others. When you don’t give forgiveness, you can’t receive it and you stunt the work of the Spirit in your life. Every single one of us needs to forgive and be forgiven.

But what if the person you most need to forgive is yourself? What if the person you need to learn to live with is you? What if you’re scared to death that if someone else ever knew you like you knew yourself and knew all the dirty, petty, angry thoughts you keep hidden, they would walk out on you for good?

I have been way too hard on myself in the past and projected on to other people my own self-rejection. I thought that no one could ever really know me and still like me. But the love of Jesus broke through and changed me and changed how I saw myself. It transformed how I saw others, no longer through my own insecurities, but through the grace of God.

The key is to believe what God says about you. It’s to believe that God loves you and chose you and calls you BELOVED. The key is to receive God’s forgiveness. If God chose to forgive you of something you never in a million years could have paid for, then it’s time to forgive yourself.

You have a choice. You can choose pain and holding grudges or you can choose forgiveness and freedom and love. I think Anne Lamott said refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. You only hurt yourself. Forgiveness is freedom to love and be loved and mostly, to be wrapped up by the love of Jesus.

I choose forgiveness every time. Lord, grant me and all those reading this forgiving hearts and fill us up with your love so there’s no more room to carry the hurts anymore.

Amen.

A Blog on Halloween Night

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“There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us” (Richard Sibbes).

It is Halloween night, but this blog has nothing to do with Halloween or the debate surrounding it. That’s for a whole other blog. This one is about something I was thinking about today at work.

There really is more mercy in Christ than sin in us.

There is more strength in Christ than weakness in us.

There is more victory in Christ than failure in us.

There is more belief in Christ than doubt in us.

There is more acceptance in Christ than there is in all the rejection and slander and ostracizing we face.

What we lack, Christ is that and much more.

What we need, we find not in the gifts but in the Giver Himself.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter to me whether you celebrate Halloween or not. What matters to me is this: Is Christ your Sufficiency? Is He your Rest? Is He your Consolation and Comfort in trouble? Is He enough?

The more I know of Him, the more I am finding out the answer to all these is a resounding YES! As the old hymn goes, “I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.”

I pray you find the same. When you have exhausted all the broken cisterns and empty wells, when you have found people fail you and promises get broken and dreams die and your props get kicked out from underneath you, Jesus still remains faithful.

I pray you will cling to Him as if your very life depended on it. I pray you will come and find rest in all that Jesus is. I know I have said this many times, but I really do pray you come to know the voice of Jesus as He sings over you in the night and you will sleep the sweet sleep of a Child of God

Unwanted

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I heard a beautiful story today in a sermon. The story was about 200 or so girls born in a village in India where boys are preferred. The fathers all named them “Unwanted,” because they were hoping for sons.

Later, these girls had a chance to get new birth certificates and choose their own new names. They chose names like “Wanted” and “Happy” and “Beautiful”.

In the same way, some of you have felt Unwanted at times. I know I have. I have a family who loves me and wants me, but some of you had parents that didn’t want you or gave you away or left you.  Maybe it was a husband or a wife. Maybe a son or a daughter. Maybe a close friend. They as much as told you that you were Unwanted.

Have you ever been at a party and felt left out and like you were not wanted there? Have you ever been in a large crowd and felt completely alone, like no one understood you or your circumstances? You thought to yourself that you might as well have been wearing a name tag that read Unwanted.

 Have you ever come to the conclusion in the dark watches of the night that the world would have been better off without you in it? That you are a worthless waste of space?

The good news of the gospel is that through the cross, God is calling the Unwanteds of the world and giving them a new birth certificate and a new name. Your new birthday is the day you said YES to Jesus and his forgiveness bought by blood.

Your new name is what God has chosen to call you. Wanted. Beautiful. Forgiven. Blessed. Son of the King. Daughter of the King. And, my very favorite of all, BELOVED.

When it felt like no one else wanted you, God did. He died to prove it. He still wants you to be a part of what He’s doing. He wants to take the broken and shattered pieces of your heart and your life and put them back together.

He wants to take your unholy mess of a life and transform it into something that shines and radiates the glory of Christ. He wants to take your scars and pain and make them testimonies. He wants to take you and make you a beautiful and glorious witness to the power of His love. He wants you.

If you say YES to Jesus, there’s no telling what He can do through you. You’ll never cease to be amazed at all God does in you and how He uses your hands and feet to bless those in your life. If He could turn the 1st century world upside down through 12 nobodies, imagine what He can do with you!

I can’t wait to see what that will be.

My One and Only Inspirational Sports Blog

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I normally don’t blog about sports. In fact, I never blog about sports. Famous last words. This blog is about sports. Go figure.

The St. Louis Cardinals are the world champions in baseball. Big deal, you say. What does that have to do with anything? Let me nerd out for a bit and give you some stats. The Cardinals were 10 1/2 games out of the final playoff spot on August 25. They barely made it on the last day of the regular season.

They reached the world series and were trailing the Texas Rangers in game 6. In fact, twice they were ONE strike away from elimination. I saw all kinds of facebook posts saying how the game was over. No chance for the Cardinals. But as with any sport, the game ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Here’s the point. Don’t ever give up. Even when it seems past hope, keep believing. Other people may count you out and quit on you, but God never has and never will. Some will stop believing that you are worth the effort of loving, but God never will.

You may be down to your last out, down to your very last strike. But if you’re still breathing, you’re not done yet. I heard this from a pastor and I’ve referenced it before, but what is impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.

It’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to start dreaming. It’s not too late to believe what God has dreamed for you. It’s never too late to give God control and let Him do what only He can do: make you who He always meant you to be.

Like I said before, no matter what others have said about you or what you’ve said about yourself, the only opinion that matters is God’s. No matter what names you’ve been given (or what names you’ve given yourself), the only name that counts is the name that God has given you. That name is still BELOVED.

Take heart, dear friends. Hope never dies and you’re never too lost or to broken or too late for God to save, redeem, and make beautiful. I needed that reminder tonight, and I hope you did, too.

Blessed

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 I could some up my life right now in one word it would be . . . . chocolate. No, not really, although chocolate does take me to a happy place. My life could be summed up nicely by the word “blessed.”

I am so blessed. I have great family, great friends, and a great God who loves me so much more than I deserve. He loves me so much I can’t stay the same. I can’t receive all that love and not become a better person, one who looks more and more like Jesus every day.

I am blessed that I know how my story ends. I know that one day all the injustice and wrong in the world will be made right. I know that everything I’ve gone through that didn’t make sense will make perfect sense and I will see it as what drew me closer to Jesus.

You who read this blog are part of the blessing. You never do realize how much your texts or posts or notes or spoken words mean to me. Sometimes, God has spoken through you to me at just the right time with just the right words to keep me going. You’ve helped me make it through some days.

If I never had another dream come true, if I never had another desire fulfilled, and if I never had another visible expression of God’s goodness, I would still be blessed. If God told me that I had used up all my blessings and had none left, I would be good. I’ve had more than my share already.

I do think there’s more to come. The Psalms say to taste and see that God is good. I have tasted and seen and it is better than any buffet or feast. The love of Jesus is truly better than wine and that love keeps getting better with age.

I will forget this, so keep reminding me. When you forget, I will remind you. That’s what the community of faith is all about. My favorite definition of a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Jesus knows my song and He’ll keep singing it over me night after night until I have learned all the words and can sing it for myself. I think my song starts off something like “All the way my Savior leads me, What have I to ask beside?”

Tired Thinking

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I am strange and unusual. I have come to accept that and I am fine with it. I have weird thoughts and say weird things sometimes. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain awkward.

I have learned that when I am extremely tired, my thoughts take on a life of their own. When I am exhausted, my thoughts don’t trend toward happy places. I go negative and dark and self-loathing. I am suspicious of other peoples’ motives and think the worst is going to happen.

I have thoughts like, “See how that person didn’t respond to your post? He/she is really mad at you,” or “See? That person has had it with you and you won’t ever hear from them again.” Or “You really are no good. You don’t deserve anything good.”

The irony is that tired thoughts will keep you awake, mind churning and your insides writhing, and make you even more tired than before. If you let them, they can take you to a place of hopelessness and despair and isolation, not a good place to be.

I’ve learned a few things. First, I know better than to trust my feelings, especially when I’m tired and my defenses are down. I like what I heard, that your thoughts and feelings will lie to you, so you go with what you know to be true about God.

Second, I have to realize that not all the thoughts in my head are from me. Satan can put a thought in my head and make me think that I thought of it. That’s where it helps to pray out loud that God would bind Satan from your thoughts.

Third, I have to tune in to what God is saying about me. I have to listen to the Voice that is saying good things about me. If I can quiet my thoughts, I can hear the sweet voice of my Abba singing over me, like He does every night.

Finally, I know that in the morning, things will seem a whole lot clearer and all those dire thoughts about people who hate me and have abandoned me don’t seem quite as convincing. When you call something by its name, it loses its power over you.

My prayer is that you can have a calm and quiet soul. Psalm 131 talks about being like a weaned child with its mother. That’s how God wants us to be with Him. Completely trusting, utterly abandoned, and resting in His everlasting arms. After all, it’s not what you say about yourself that matters, but what God says about you. And He is saying good things if you only have ears to hear.