Henri Nouwen

Things I Love 27: Every Rose Has Its Thorn

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island hammock

Even on a Monday there’s plenty to be thankful for. In fact, having a mindset of thankfulness can make even the worst of Mondays bearable and even good. And even the worst of Mondays are only 24 hours. Unless you’re Bill Murray on Groundhog Day. Then good luck. On to #761.

761) Hiking the Ganier Ridge trail at Radner Lake in the rain.

762) Knowing that even the worst of days last only 24 hours.

763) Seeing a baby deer with its mother.

764) The thought of having a bowl of cereal as a reward for finishing this blog.

765) Yard sales and garage sales.

766) Looking forward to another Kairos tomorrow night.

767) Being 100% condemnation-free in Christ.

768) Rescued pets.

769) Finally releasing my cares into the more than capable hands of Jesus.

770) Corn on the cob.

771) Being reminded of my dependence on Jesus and how it’s not up to me.

772) All those Back to the Future movies (even that confusing Part II).

773) Knowing that Jesus won’t ever give up on me.

774) That knowing is half the battle– thanks to the 80’s G. I. Joe cartoons for that reminder.

775) That all I have to to is stand and watch and God will fight my battles for me.

776) A good game of gin rummy (even though I never ever win).

777) The possibility, however remote, of going on a date with Kari Jobe.

778) Watching Halloween and Halloween II back-to-back on Halloween night.

779) Remembering all those late nights at Perkin’s when I was a student at Union.

780) That tree-lined road between Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg.

781) Those moments of clarity in the middle of the hazy days.

782) That God didn’t give me most of the things I prayed for.

783) The Pauline Baynes illustrations in The Chronicles of Narnia.

784) The fruit tea at Calypso Cafe.

785) Fried chicken at family reunions.

786) Bette Davis in Now, Voyager.

787) Picnics at Arrington Vineyards on Sunday afternoons.

788) How my cat looks so peaceful and serene when she’s sleeping.

789) Victor Hugo’s beautiful story of redemption and hope in Les Miserables.

790) Wading in a creek on an especially hot and humid day.

791) How much better I feel right now than when I started this blog.

792) Serving breakfast at an ungodly hour at the Nashville Rescue Mission.

793) Pure 100% Vermont maple syrup.

794) The beautiful and sad movie, Bright Star.

795) Not ever giving up on people because God never gave up on me.

796) Vh1’s Behind The Music– especially about the bands I loved growing up.

797) Whitney Houston’s 1991 version of The Star-Spangled Banner.

798) High fives and fist bumps.

799) Oscillating fans.

800) Whoever came up with the brilliant idea of those combination squirt guns and portable fans.

Things I Love 12: Tested And Approved by Lucy The Wonder Kitty

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island hammock

Lucy is in my lap, approving  whatever I type. Of course, she can’t read, but if she could, she would add her own comments (most of which would not be fit to print in a family-style blog such as this one). So I’ll take her silence as either approval or extreme sleepiness.

The list commences with #264 (I think).

264) Ice-cold water to quench my thirst on a humid summer day.

265) A long walk alone under a full moon at night (as opposed to all those moonlit walks during the day).

266) That I’m finally at a place where I’m comfortable alone or in a crowd.

267) Planned spontaneity.

268) That I’ve come to the place where if I never see a certain person ever again (and at the moment it appears very likely to be the case), that I will be glad for the friendship; I will miss her, but my life will go on.

269) Those quiet moments of peace where God speaks into my silence.

270) That with God, every day is a day to look forward to.

271) Reading collects out of The Book of Common Prayer and seeing my own prayers expressed better than I could ever put them.

272) That this blog site has spell-check so that I can appear smarter than I really am, i.e. that I can actually spell.

273) That I really don’t have to be friends with everyone or have everyone like me to be content.

274) That everything will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

275) Good lines from good movies (like the one I just referenced earlier).

276) Chocolate bars with bacon in them (it sounds gross, but tastes divine).

277) All of my quirks

278) That I have to show my driver’s license to prove that I really am the age I say I am.

279) That even though Jon Acuff might have more readers for one blog than I’ve had for all my 1,000+ blogs combined, that I have touched and impacted lives that wouldn’t have been touched and impacted had I chosen not to write a blog.

280) That I can use bad grammar, and bad punctuation, in my blogs, if I so, choose.

281) Those rare times when the Church is known for what it’s for rather than what it’s against.

282) That I can learn something from anybody, no matter what their philosophical, theological, political or social beliefs and regardless of whether or not they have the same worldview as mine.

283) That hamburger from The Pharmacy with bacon, ham, and a fried egg (10,000 calories of deliciousness!)

284) That the last spoken words from Jesus in the Bible aren’t a condemnation but an invitation.

285) When I talk into a box fan and make my voice sound like a robot.

286) That being grown-up doesn’t always mean having to be mature all the time.

287) That the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.

288) The way my cat Lucy hovers when she goes to the bathroom.

289) Not knowing all the answers (or even all of the questions).

290) A perfectly made and perfectly thrown paper airplane.

291) That I saw the actual Batmobile from the campy 60’s TV show tonight in downtown Franklin

292) That this list will continue– maybe tomorrow, maybe not. You’ll just have to tune in tomorrow to find out. Same bat time, same bat channel.

An Easter Reboot

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resurrection

“The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace… We must dare to opt consciously for our chosenness and not allow our emotions, feelings, or passions to seduce us into self-rejection” (Henri Nouwen).

The stone was rolled away from the door, not to permit Christ to come out, but to enable the disciples to go in” (Peter Marshall).

Sometimes, it takes Easter to get my mind refocused. Like so many of you, I can get off track so very easily and forget who I am and what I’m here for. I need to be reminded that I am indeed the beloved, the chosen child of God. My purpose is to live that out as best I can, to become what God has already declared me to be.

I take Easter for granted because I already know how the story ends. Or at least I think I do.

In fact, Easter isn’t an end, but a beginning. C. S. Lewis in his book, The Last Battle, said that all of history was merely a title page and a preface. Eternity is the real beginning of the book, where each chapter is better than the last and the story is truly neverending.

Easter reminds me that my forgiveness might have been free for me, but not free. it might have not cost me anything, but it was not without cost. I don’t need to forget that my forgiveness cost God the very highest price and is the most extravagant gift ever given in history. I don’t need to take that lightly or for granted.

Easter also reminds me that failure isn’t final, that goodbyes aren’t forever, and that truth and faith and love and hope all survive the grave and come out stronger on the other side. I guess that’s why I love it so much.

 

“

 

Unclean

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For the better part of two days, something that Mike Glenn said at Kairos has been running around in my brain.

He related the story of how God showed Peter a vision in which a whole assortment of food came down from heaven and God said, “Eat.” Peter said, “But that’s unclean and against my religion (I’m paraphrasing a bit here).

God said, “What I have made, don’t you dare call unclean.”

Did you catch that? Let me put it this way. “God said, “I made you, and what I have made, don’t you ever call unclean or ugly or second-rate or worthless or no good. Don’t you dare put down the one I made, because when you do, you’re insulting Me.”

God made you. That gives you great worth. After you fell into sin and brokenness, He redeemed you. That makes you priceless.

Hear this. You are not what you own. You are not what you do. You are not what you drive or where you live or what you wear.

You are not the names people call you or the names you call yourself. You are not your past or your failures or your shortcomings.

You are not your usefulness or your abilities or your net worth or your talent level. None of these things.

You are who God says you are. You are His child, Ransomed, Redeemed, Living Temple, Saint, Saved One, and, my favorite, Beloved.

I love what Henri Nouwen says. Prayer is listening to the One who says good things about you. The One who calls you Beloved and invites you to His lap time and time again.

The Creator God who made all that is knows your name. He knows every deep, dark secret you keep and every promise broken and every lie told and every intention unfulfilled.

And He loves you anyway.

Because of what He did sending Jesus to the cross for you in your place, you are holy, righteous, blameless, innocent, perfect, and His forever.

You are unclean no more. You are the BELOVED!

The Mosaic of Faith in Community

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“Community is like a large mosaic. Each little piece seems so insignificant. One piece is bright red, another cold blue or dull green, another warm purple, another sharp yellow, another shining gold. Some look precious, others ordinary. Some look valuable, others worthless. Some look gaudy, others delicate. As individuals stones, we can do little with them except compare them and judge their beauty and value. When, however, all these little stones are brought together in one big mosaic portraying the face of Christ, who would ever question the importance of any one of them? If one of them, even the least spectacular one, is missing, the face is incomplete. Together in the one mosaic, each little stone is indispensable and makes a unique contribution to the glory of God. That’s community, a fellowship of little people who together make God visible in the world” (Henri Nouwen).

You may not be the hippest and trendiest person on the planet.

You may not be the most socially polished person that anyone will ever meet.

You may not rank very highly on the socially desirable scale of who’s who’s and so-and-so’s.

You may not feel like you’re a very high prority on anyone’s list of friends and your friends may seem like they can make time for others when they’re too busy for you.

You may feel romatically undesireable because you’re not GQ or Vanity Fair, and that whatever good traits you possess don’t really matter if you’re not physically beautiful and if people don’t use words to describe you like “hot” or “fine” or “gorgeous” or “eye candy”.

You may look around at all the people who seem to be more successful in every area of life than you and get discouraged because you just don’t measure up to anyone or anything.

You may think that you add nothing to the world and that your absence wouldn’t affect anything in the slightest little bit.

But you matter.

You are who God created you to be. You are your Abba’s beloved child.

You are the mosaic piece God created you to be to fill a part of the mosaic that only you can fill and shine like only you can shine.

You can only be the best you, just as I can only be the best me. We can never be what someone else thinks we should be or what we think others want us to be.

Together, we can show the world what the rainbow colors of faith, hope, and love look like.

Together, we are the hands and feet and heart of Jesus to the outcast and needy and poor and broken.

Together, we are the visible face of God. Together, we are the body of Christ.

Without you in it, the mosaic doesn’t shine as brightly and the world misses a crucial part of what God looks like.

Together, you and I and the rest of the community of faith form a divine mosaic. When the world looks at us, they will see Jesus.

The Way of Downward Mobility

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Tonight I was touched by these words from Henri Nouwen. I will let them speak to you the way they spoke to me, unedited and in his own words, not mine:

“Prayer means letting God’s creative love touch the most hidden places of our being and letting Jesus’ way of the cross, his way of downward mobility, truly become our way.  And prayer means listening with attentive, undivided hearts, to the inner movements of the Spirit of Jesus, even when that Spirit leads us to places we would rather not go. . . .

I say this with great compassion: we are living in an upwardly mobile society, a society in which making it to the top is expected in some degree of all of us. And aren’t we tempted to use even the Word of God to help us in this upward mobility? But that is not the way of God, the Father, Son, and Spirit. God’s way is not the way of upward mobility but of downward mobility. You know, as well as I do, that the question we will finally hear is not going to be: “How much did you earn during your lifetime?” or “How many friends did you make?” or “How much progress did you make in your career?” No, the question for us will be: “What did you do for the least of mine? What did you do for the lonely in your cities, the prisoners in your country, the refugees within and below your borders, and the hungry all over the world? Have you seen the humiliated Christ in the faces of the poor?”

God has chosen to be revealed in a crucified humanity. That is a very hard realization to come to, yet all authentic prayer will eventually lead us to it. I hope you are able to feel with me our hesitation to let God truly love us in God’s way and to respond fully with our whole being.”

Why I Am a Fan of Henri Nouwen

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solitude

“In solitude we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us. In solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts. In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared. It’s there we recognize that the healing words we speak are not just our own, but are given to us; that the love we can express is part of a greater love; and that the new life we bring forth is not a property to cling to, but a gift to be received” (Henri J.M. Nouwen).

Henri Nouwen wrote that every single person ever born deals with aloneness, because every single one of us is unique and no one else will ever have our exact problems and issues and hang-ups and phobias.

He said we can either see our aloneness as a wound and thus turn it into loneliness or view it as a gift, where it becomes solitude. In solitude is where we can learn to be still and quiet and know that in truth, we are never really alone. God is with us.

Solitude makes us better people, better neighbors, better friends, better spouses, better lovers, and better disciples. We’re not clinging to each other out of a desparate need to not be lonely, but because we are finally comfortable with who we are in the times when we are alone with no noise to drown out our own thoughts.

That is my own wording of what I’ve been reading in The Only Necessary Thing, a compilation of Nouwen’s thoughts on living a prayerful life. Seriously, if you don’t read another one of my blogs, but read one of his books, I will be supremely happy. He’s that good.

That’s all for tonight. Let me know what you are reading that touches you deeply at the soul level. Maybe it’s a book that will do the same for me. And may the God of the earthquake and the God of the thunder also be the God of your silence and the God of your solitude. Amen.

Sitting Still

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Today I had an epic fail. I was supposed to meet a friend for the 11 am service. I thought I had plenty of time to get one of those white chocolate mochas with a shot of hazelnut (which are fantastically good and you should try one some time). It turns out I did not.

By the time I got my awesome beverege, I was already ten minutes late and not at all in a reverential mood. More like impatient and frantic and stressed and mad at myself. By the time I got to the sanctuary, there was no way I was going to be able to find my friend, so I ended up sitting in the balcony.

But God reminded me of the sermon I had just heard about Mary and Martha. Martha was the one frantically scrambling to get everything just right and Mary was sitting silently at the feet of Jesus in the posture of a disciple. Martha had good intentions, but Mary did the better thing.

I took a moment to steady my thoughts and quiet my heart. I prayed for peace to replace the chaos and I took a few deep breaths. Then I was fine.

We often get so caught up in school, work, play, and doing things for God that we have precious little time for God. But if we want our desire to be more like Jesus to go from wishful thinking to reality, we must make time to sit at His feet and be silent.

I am the worst. When I try to be silent and still, my brain doesn’t want to cooperate. I will conjure up  whole conversations in my head, hear snatches of songs, and think of things I forgot to do or that I still need to do. In other words, my ADD kicks in with a vengeance.

But the more I come to sit at Jesus feet, the more I am learning to capture my anxious thoughts and give them to Him. The more I am learning to let everything else go and listen to the Voice that still says good things about me.

Come to Jesus all you who are at the breaking point of exhausting. Come, be still. He will give you much needed soul-rest even in the midst of a busy day. He will speak peace and healing over you. He will refresh your spirit and renew your mind.

So just come.

Tired Thinking

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I am strange and unusual. I have come to accept that and I am fine with it. I have weird thoughts and say weird things sometimes. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain awkward.

I have learned that when I am extremely tired, my thoughts take on a life of their own. When I am exhausted, my thoughts don’t trend toward happy places. I go negative and dark and self-loathing. I am suspicious of other peoples’ motives and think the worst is going to happen.

I have thoughts like, “See how that person didn’t respond to your post? He/she is really mad at you,” or “See? That person has had it with you and you won’t ever hear from them again.” Or “You really are no good. You don’t deserve anything good.”

The irony is that tired thoughts will keep you awake, mind churning and your insides writhing, and make you even more tired than before. If you let them, they can take you to a place of hopelessness and despair and isolation, not a good place to be.

I’ve learned a few things. First, I know better than to trust my feelings, especially when I’m tired and my defenses are down. I like what I heard, that your thoughts and feelings will lie to you, so you go with what you know to be true about God.

Second, I have to realize that not all the thoughts in my head are from me. Satan can put a thought in my head and make me think that I thought of it. That’s where it helps to pray out loud that God would bind Satan from your thoughts.

Third, I have to tune in to what God is saying about me. I have to listen to the Voice that is saying good things about me. If I can quiet my thoughts, I can hear the sweet voice of my Abba singing over me, like He does every night.

Finally, I know that in the morning, things will seem a whole lot clearer and all those dire thoughts about people who hate me and have abandoned me don’t seem quite as convincing. When you call something by its name, it loses its power over you.

My prayer is that you can have a calm and quiet soul. Psalm 131 talks about being like a weaned child with its mother. That’s how God wants us to be with Him. Completely trusting, utterly abandoned, and resting in His everlasting arms. After all, it’s not what you say about yourself that matters, but what God says about you. And He is saying good things if you only have ears to hear.

Come and Find Rest

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I never thought I’d actually say this (or type this), but this blog isn’t for everyone. If you’re content and peaceful and everything is falling into place for you, then you probably don’t need to read any further. If you have a game plan and are workin’ it, stop here.

If you’re harried and worried, this is your blog. If you’re weary and heavy-laden, if you’re overburdened and worked to the point of exhaustion, this is for you. If you wake up from sleep feeling more tired than when you went to bed and if you think you will have to live to be 300 to get every project, assignment and task done, do read further.

Jesus said, “Come to Me and find rest for your souls.” I’m fairly certain that doesn’t mean plopping down on the sofa to catch Monday Night Football (or if you’re me, a really good classic movie). It’s not about a 24-hour sleep-athon.

I like to think of rest this way. Bear with me. I being a complete book nerd like to re-read certain books. I read The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia every year. It’s like going on a free vacation to familiar places with familiar people (or hobbits).

It’s restful. I know how the story will end, but I can still get caught up in it. I can live vicariously through the characters and experience everything without the fear that it will all end badly. I’ve read the ending.

In life, we can live that way. The Book has been written and I know how it ends. I don’t have to worry that my life will turn out to be tragic and meaningless. God’s got a purpose for the world and for me. He’s written the greatest story ever told and invited me to be a part of it.

If you know that the ending is a happy one and that you’re on the winning side, that changes your perspective. If you know that God is for you and His plans for you are not to harm you, but to prosper you and give you a hope and a future, you can rest.

You can keep a quiet heart and a calm soul in the midst of business and chaos. You can face your failures, knowing that God can redeem the worst mistakes and make them the first part of your testimony. You can breathe easier knowing that God hasn’t forgotten you, but is forever with you, singing over you and rejoicing with you and rooting for you.

I pray you find rest. I pray the peace that passes understanding will guard your hearts and minds and you will know the embrace of your Abba and hear Him saying good things about you. Because He likes you, He loves you, and He’s crazy in love with you.