grace

“Vermont. . . I Mean Tennessee should be beautiful this time of the year, all that snow”

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white-christmas-snow

I really don’t mind cold weather. Or snow. Or even ice.

I don’t mind them as long as I don’t have to drive in them. Or scrape them off my windshield for 20+ minutes, which is what I found myself doing after work tonight.

I’d really like one good snow for the year. Maybe a foot or more. I may be dreaming about getting 12 inches of white stuff, but I’d take even an inch or two. Just as long as I don’t have to drive in it. Especially when it turns to sleet and ice.

It really is fun to watch as it falls and covers the ground. I like watching the earth disappear underneath all those snowflakes. It reminds me of Isaiah 1:18: “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

Snow covers up a lot. It hides dead brown grass, along with the “presents” that the neighbor’s dogs leave in the yard. Everything is a blanket of white. And when the sun comes up, how brilliantly it dazzles.

Grace covers up a lot, too. You and I probably have a lot we wish we could hide. Harsh words spoken, dirty thoughts, petty actions taken. Friendships ruined, families broken, work relationships destroyed. The list goes on and on.

But grace means that when God looks at us, he doesn’t see those things. He doesn’t see your worst moment when you were at your weakest. He doesn’t see the litany of sins that stain your soul.

He sees the blood of Jesus that has washed you whiter than snow. He sees perfection, the very perfection of Jesus. He sees you and calls you his Beloved and says that he is very pleased with you.

Remember that the next time you see snow falling and be thankful for grace and second chances. I know I certainly am.

Downton Abbey, Or Why I Fell for All The Hype

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DowntonAbbey

I didn’t know what to make of the show Downton Abbey. At first, I kept thinking it was Downtown Abbey, which sounded like one of those murder-mystery series featuring a crime-solving nun (who would also happen to have quite the British wit about her).

But I borrowed the first two seasons from a friend and now I’m hooked. It’s a little like all those period films like Howard’s End and Gosford Park, but the storyline is unique. And Maggie Smith is completely fantastic as always.

My favorite part is when Bates throws his leg brace into the lake. He had been going about his business, grimacing a lot and telling the others that he was perfectly fine. He was not.

I wonder how many times I’ve done that, carrying around a lot of secret pain and guilt and telling everyone who asked, “Oh, I’m fine.”

Or maybe it’s a secret struggle that you carry around. One that you’re sure you’re the only one who’s ever had to wrestle with. It could be a shameful mistake you can’t forgive yourself over. It could be words better left unspoken (or maybe words left unspoken that you wish you’d said).

The best part is that you don’t have to carry this load alone. You can find others who understand and share your burdens. Best of all, God already knows what you’re trying to hide. He’s known it all along. And that thunderbolt of judgment hasn’t struck you yet.

Confession really is good for the soul. I don’t mean blabbing your troubles to a stranger on the street. I do mean finding a good trusted friend and letting him or her know what you’re going through. I do mean being honest to God in prayer about it all.

I love the saying that goes something like this: “Griefs shared are divided, while joys shared are multiplied.”

May you find this to be true for you in the days to come.

 

In Search of Boaz and Ruth in the 21st Century (Yet Another Blog About Singleness)

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I had a good friend commenting on how she couldn’t find any men who fit the role of Boaz in the Bible. I have to agree. Not too many godly men stepping up and taking charge spiritually. There are lots of guys out there, but not nearly as many real men.

Then again, as a single guy, I have a hard time finding Ruths. There aren’t too many women pursuing godliness with a passion these days. As before, there are a lot of girls out there, but not too many real godly women.

Then I got to thinking on the way home. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I’m not finding my Ruth because I’m not trying consistently to be a Boaz. I’m all for godliness and holiness when it’s convenient and cheap, but not so much when it takes time and costs me something.

If I’m looking for certain qualities in a mate, I need to have those showing in my own life. Or at least I need to be developing those characteristics. I can’t expect kindness in a future mate if I don’t show it myself. I can’t expect deep spirituality if I am shallow when it comes to the things of God.

I think this applies to married people as well. You can’t expect your spouse to be something you’re not willing to be. You have to own up to your part and change yourself before you demand change from your husband or wife.

I know I have a lot of work to do before I can call myself a godly man. Sometimes, it seems like an impossible task and I feel like I will never get there. But God is best at taking the impossible and making it reality.

So before you point the finger at the opposite sex, make sure you look in the mirror first and find out if you need to get your priorities right first. That’s all.

 

 

 

To Be Liked or To Not Be Liked. . . That Is the Question

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cameronincar1

I have given this a lot of thought. Probably too much, given my tendency to way overthink matters. But here goes.

I’ve decided that it is just too much work to hate anyone. To spend all that time concentrating negative emotions on one person and letting that person dictate your life is tiring. Just thinking about hating someone is enough to make me want to lie down until the feeling passes.

I also believe that life is too short to spend it disliking anyone. I know this opinion is probably one I hold by myself and I don’t ask you to agree with it, but I’m standing firm on this one. You may not get along with every single person, but you can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them grace, because if you haven’t already needed it from someone else, you will one day. I guarantee it.

You have the perfect right not to like me. You don’t even have to have a valid reason for it. It’s your choice and right as an American. You may not like my personality. I may rub you the wrong way. I may occasionally say and do (without realizing it) really dumb stuff that turns you off.

It’s your privilege as a human. It is also my privilege to not return the dislike. It is my calling as a believer to show kindness and the love of Jesus to you. It’s my calling in Christ to pray for you daily and to wish you nothing but the very best.

Sometimes relationships go wrong, whether in the workplace or in social settings or anywhere else, and you will never be able to put them right again. You will always wonder what might have been. But just because that person has vanished from off your radar screen doesn’t mean they’ve vanished from God’s. He still knows where they are and what they’re going through.

So I have a list of people I’m praying for who will probably never know it. That’s okay. I only pray they find a true peace that passes understanding and a lasting joy that nothing can take away. I pray they find Jesus to be more desirable than anything else in this world.

And I wish them nothing but the very best.

Revisiting the Classics

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breakfast_at_tiffanys1

 

I may lose my man-card permanently for this, but I love the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’ve actually lost count of how many times I’ve seen it, and it still has the same impact on me every single time.

Both Paul Varjak and Holly Golightly start the movie a bit dazed and confused. And lost. Neither one has a direction or purpose. Until they find each other.

I think life’s a lot like that. We help each other find the way. We help each other find God in the times where it seems God is nowhere to be found. We are Jesus to each other in countless ways day in and day out.

I still like to think I have a Holly Golightly out there. If she looks like Audrey Hepburn, it wouldn’t hurt.

We all get lost and lose our way. We occasionally forget who we are and what we’re here for. We lose our purpose and get trapped in some bad choices. We look up and wonder how we got where we are and wonder how we can ever make it back.

I think that’s where you and I come in. We remind each other of who we really are, not the sum of bad choices or a past history, but children of God, Abba’s beloved. We root for each other, cheering over victories and encouraging in the face of defeats.

That all may sound like a mighty heap of cliches. Maybe it is. But isn’t it comforting to know in the times when you’ve felt most alone and lost and confused that familiar voice that calls you back? Maybe it’s a phone call or an email or a text or a kind word spoken.

It’s good to go back to the classics. Most of all, it’s good to go back to the promises of God that never change, despite all the upheaval and uncertainty of our times.

May we remind each other of these promises and of the goodness of God every single day while we’re here.

 

Live Naked

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I need to preface this blog by emphatically stating that by “live naked,” I so do not mean join a nudist colony or walk around all day in your birthday suit. If you do, we will disavow all knowledge and pretend you don’t exist. This blog will self-destruct in 15 seconds. . . .

For real, I do think that we need to live naked. By that, I mean live transparently and honestly. You will always be a second-rate version of someone else, but a first-rate version of you, because God made you to be you, only you, and no one else.

That means you don’t have to force yourself to believe that everything is fine when it’s not. You can honestly admit that you’re having a bad day, that your brokenness is showing, and that you feel completely inadequate to handle what the day is throwing at you.

To like naked is to live a life that is 100% 24/7 completely and utterly dependent on God for every single moment and every single thing. You know you need God in the next moment to avoid a full-on falling apart mental and emotional meltdown. You need all of God’s strength to hold you together and you need all of his love to keep you sane.

To live naked is to live trusting without understanding, following without knowing the way, and believing without having all (or even most) of the answers.

That’s how I am choosing to live each day. That’s how I pray you choose to live. Because believers aren’t perfect, but forgiven. If anything, those who have given up everything to follow Jesus know that Jesus is all they have and that Jesus is all they need.

It’s a battle to trust when your emotions and thoughts are screaming at you that God won’t come through. It’s a lifelong struggle, but it’s so much more than worthwhile.

May we live naked starting today and every day.

Have You Ever. . . ?

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Just a hypothetical question or two for you to chew over.

Have you ever messed up a relationship at work so badly that you can’t see how it will ever be put right again? Where it just seems like the other person doesn’t like you at all and nothing you do makes it any better, but only makes it worse?

Maybe you’ve been there. You’ve thought to yourself, “I couldn’t have screwed this up any worse if I had done it on purpose.”

Isn’t it good to know that your self-worth doesn’t come from those relationships? Isn’t it good to know that you are not defined by your success at getting people to like you? Doesn’t it change everything when you fully and deeply grasp that the only opinion that truly matters comes from the God who already approved of you?

As far as that relationship goes, I can’t really help you. I’m not the world’s best at dealing with people who don’t like me. I’m far better than I used to be, but I do still have a ways to go.

But I do know that God is very fond of me. He’s very fond of you. And even if that relationship miraculously revived and grew into friendship, it would still pale in comparison with how much the God of the universe loves you. Is in love with you.

My suggestion is to be Jesus to those people. Treat them as you would want them to treat you and pray for them for God’s peace and joy and salvation. It’s really hard to hate someone you’re praying for.

Again, this doesn’t come down from the mountain of some great person who’s figured it all out and has decided to let you in on his awesome wisdom. This comes from a fellow traveler on the road who’s learned far more from failing and falling down than from success.

Let the love of God tell you who you are, not the judgments of other people. Love is definitely the better way.

 

 

How Fit Is Your Faith?

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If I had my way, everyone would like me. Everything would always go my way and my teams would always win every game. All those teams I didn’t like would cease to exist. Everything I owned would work properly and every road I drove down would be sunny and traffic jam-free.

I’d also have the weakest faith ever.

Most of the things that have strengthened my faith have been unwanted, uncomfortable and (sometimes painful). Given a choice, I probably would have said no to most of them. But my faith wouldn’t be nearly what it is now.

So here’s some questions to gauge how fit your faith is:

1) What do you do when your “dream mate” falls in love with someone else?

2) What happens when someone at work doesn’t like you, no matter how nice and friendly you are or how you go out of your way to treat him or her with kindness?

3) What happens when your circumstances never seem to get any better and hope gets harder and harder to find?

4) What happens when your children act out or continuously behave in ways that run contrary to how you taught them to act or behave?

5) What happens when you run out of answers?

I think that faith grows in the dark. It’s in those times when you can’t see God and can’t find any answers that you find a stronger faith than ever before. It’s when you come to the end of your self-reliance and have no other choice but to fall on the grace of God that you really find out how strong it is to save.

It’s not about great faith in God, but faith in a great God that counts. That’s what I cling to in the dark days when not much makes sense. I hope you do, too.

 

Spontaneous, Joyful Uncertainty and Expectancy

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“If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in—but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, is that almost nothing ever turns out according to my expectations. No conversation ever goes like I planned it in my head, no holiday plays out quite like I planned, and no day ever seems to be what I thought it would be.

I think my only expectations from 2013 are of God. Specifically, I expect him to show up in 2013. How? I have no idea. I only know that when I need him most, he’ll be there.

I’ve had unexpected relationships that I never saw coming. I’ve had friendships with people I never thought would even talk to me. I’ve also had friends move on and seemingly drop off the planet (or at least off my radar). For those of you who have moved on to the next phase of life, the friendship is still on and always will be. Count on it.

That doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing. I think this year I have to prepared and ready for whatever God brings. As one of my favorite lines from a movie goes, I have to have my fields ready to receive the rain when it comes.

I know that whenever God has shown up in my life, it has never been exactly in the way that I expected, but it has always been better. It has never been when I expected, but it has always been at the perfect moment when I needed him most. God’s gifts to me haven’t been what I asked for; many times, they’ve what I needed and longed for but didn’t know it.

I know that whatever I go through in 2013, God is good. I know whatever the day turns out to be, God is faithful. And I expect that to be the same in 2014 and beyond.

The Healing Process

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I went back to Historic Downtown Franklin today for the first time since being hit by the car. I walked over to the spot where it happened, or at least where I’m fairly positive it happened, since the event has grown fuzzy in my mind.

I’m still nervous about crossing the street, even at a crosswalk where I have the walk sign. I hope that never fully goes away, so I will always be extra cautious and never get careless again in the same way that caused me to step out in front of a car.

I ate at my favorite place, McCreary’s Irish Pub, and saw a movie at my favorite venue, the Franklin Theatre. I’m glad that my return trip brought way more memories of good times rather than that one bad night.

I wish my pinky finger would heal faster. It’s still swollen and I still can’t bend it at the lower joint. But healing takes time.

I think we do healing an injustice when we rush it. Or at least I do. I feel like I should be over it already and moved on, so I don’t really give myself time to get well. I get frustrated when the same old fears rear their ugly heads when I thought I was over all that, then I realize that I’m better, but not whole yet.

It’s okay to still be broken as long as you know you’re moving toward wholeness. It’s okay to admit that you got overwhelmed by fears and anxieties because you remember when those dominated your life from waking up to lying down at night.

If a broken bone doesn’t heal right, it sometimes has to be re-broken and set again so it can heal properly. I pray for all of us that we allow time for God’s healing to soak in and really get to all the deep dark broken places in us that need his light. May we remember that we are all works in progress and will be until Jesus comes back.