grace

This Wacky Weather We’re Having

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I know I should be used to it by now. I’ve lived in Tennessee all my life and still I am constantly amazed, disturbed, awed, and surprised by it. The weather.

Take the 10-day forecast. We go from a high of 68 one day to a high of 32 a few days later. That’s like having two completely different seasons in one week.  Which proves that Tennessee weather is certifiably insane.

Yep, it’s true. Tennessee weather is wacky. But not as much as my emotions most of the time.

I can go from elation to despair in a matter of moments. Or from happy to angry in one second.

You know what that’s like. All it takes to ruin your happiness is the perception that someone ignored you. That’s all.

That’s reason #1 for me not to trust my emotions. After all, as a friend said once, feelings will lie to you. If you let them, they will blow a minor incident way out of proportion. And emotions are affected by so many things like lack of sleep, what you ate (or didn’t eat) earlier that day, how much exercise you’ve gotten, etc.

My friend also said to trust in what you know. And what is that? Only what I’ve come to learn over the years. That God is faithful and true to his promises. That his word is as good as done. That when God says it, that settles it, regardless of whether I believe it or not (and I so wish I could take credit for that one).

Trust that God knows what he’s doing even when it doesn’t seem like it. When it doesn’t feel like it. Because your feelings will change, but God won’t. Your feelings come and go, but God remains.

I still don’t know what to wear anymore. If I wear a jacket, it will be warm outside. If I don’t, I freeze. Go figure.

 

Hang In There

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You’ve seen one of these. I know you have. It might have been in someone else’s dorm room or on some random bedroom wall (but of course never on yours). The infamous poster of a ridiculously-cute kitten hanging onto a tree branch with some variation of “Hang in there, sport!”

Those have become somewhat of a joke these days, kinda like the “Baby on Board” signs in backs of cars or the “Honk if you love. . .” bumper stickers. But sometimes you’re in a place where you really do need that reminder.

Maybe you’re in a place where it seems like every molecule in your body is telling you to quit. 100% of your emotions are telling you to give up, that it’s just not worth it, and to stop trying anymore.

Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Don’t believe the lie that it’s not going to ever get any better. Don’t for one second fall for the notion that the world would be better off without you. Don’t ever listen to the voices that tell you you’re not wanted or welcome.

I don’t have secret wisdom or profound insights on this. I do know that I’ve wanted to give up. I’ve been in a place where I didn’t think it would ever get better. But it did.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is rest. Get some sleep. Don’t try to figure out your life when you’re tired or upset or not feeling well. It’s amazing what better perspective you have in the morning.

When you can’t believe, God has faith enough for both of you. When you can’t go on, he has more than enough strength to carry you. When you don’t have words to pray, he hears your sighs and counts your tears. He knows.

So, as cliched as it may sound, hang in there. It may be dark right now, but daylight is coming.

Comparison Shopping

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cash register 3

You gotta love the new trend in internet shopping. I mean the one where you go to a website that helps you find the best deal on planet tickets, hotel rooms, or just about anything else you might want to buy. That’s where comparison is a good thing.

But I’ve found myself using comparison in a way that’s not so good. As in when I compare myself to some one else. I see someone who’s found true love and I wonder why I haven’t. I see someone who’s found a career that’s a perfect fit and who loves going to work every day and I wonder when that will happen for me.

I read somewhere that comparison is the thief of joy and contentment. Comparison either leads to pride when you think you’ve got something that the guy next to you doesn’t, or envy when the guy next to you has something that you don’t.

Comparison is always misleading because you never know the whole story. Appearances can be so very misleading. That man or woman you’re comparing yourself with may be happy in that one area, but struggling in another area that you don’t know about. He or she may actually envy you for something you have that he or she doesn’t.

If you have to compare yourself, compare yourself with where you used to be. Remember where you were and see where you are now. Look how far God has brought you. Look at what you’ve already overcome.

Rejoice for those who have what you don’t. Root for them and keep your eyes where they belong. And that’s on Jesus. He didn’t create you to live someone else’s life or be who he created them to be. He created you to live the life he custom-made only for you.

Your path is your own and no one else’s. Your timetable is your’s alone. You get where you need to be, not when everybody else does, but when in God’s perfect timing. Not a moment sooner and not a moment later.

Imaginary Girlfriends and Other Odd Topics

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Yeah, I heard about Manti Te’o’s imaginary girlfriend. I don’t know (and I don’t care) if he was in on the hoax or not. I’m not even sure what the point was. In fact, the more I think about it, the more it makes me want to lie down and take a nap.

But if I had an imaginary girlfriend, she’d look a lot like Zooey Deschanel. Or possibly Grace Kelly (if we’re allowed to use dead celebrities). And knowing my luck, I’d fool exactly no one. But she’d be pretty.

It seems to me that there are so much more out there that’s news-worthy. Imaginary girlfriend hoaxes strike me as being tabloid fodder more than actual news stories. But then again, I am not in charge of what is considered news.

That’s why I like my television to be as unrealistic as possible. Reality is too weird. I’ll stick to aliens and vampires and zombies and alternate universes. You know, the normal stuff. I avoid reality television shows like the plague and am drawn to shows like The X-Files and Charmed and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Revolution (I do like some current series).

There’s not really a moral lesson in all this. Well, maybe this. I have enough trouble keeping my own life in line without worrying about other people’s issues. I certainly can’t cast any stones when I see my own long list of past mistakes and stupid choices.

I’m not quick to jump on the moral superiority bandwagon and bash those who’ve lied or cheated or messed up in some way. Who knows? I might have done the same or worse in a similar predicament.

I’d better end this quickly. My imaginary (and pretty) girlfriend just texted me and wants to set up a skype session. Now, I’m thinking she looks like Selma Hayek.

PS I’ve changed my mind again for the last time. Introducing my imaginary girlfriend whom I text every night. We are so very close, in a completely virtual way.

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It Runs in the Family

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boots

When I was little, I used to love to go over to my grandparents’ house. One of my favorite things to do there was to find a pair of my granddad’s boots and walk around in them. They probably came up to my knees and were way too big for my little feet, but I didn’t care. Just the fact that I was walking in my grandfather’s shoes was enough for me.

Fast forward about 30 or so years. I’d been living in Nashville for 5 years and felt the time was right to complete the acclimation by purchasing a pair of cowboy boots. I mean, I’d already started listening to some country music (just not the kind where the girl thinks the tractor is sexy).

I looked at a lot of boots. There was one pair of Dan Posts (shown in the above picture) that I was drawn to the first place I looked. No matter how many other places I looked, I couldn’t find any others that seemed to call my name the way these did. I can’t explain it other than to say that these boots spoke to me.

I shelled over $230 bucks for these bad boys. I know in cowboy boot world, that’s not a lot. Boots can easily get up into the $3000 and up category, especially if they’re custom made. But that was a LOT of money for me to spend on shoes.

It turns out that my grandfather’s favorite kind of boots were Dan Posts. I didn’t find that out until after my purchase, but it was a kind of  confirmation for me that I had picked the right pair.

Now every time I put them on, I feel like I’m walking in his shoes, so to speak. And it feels good. It makes me grateful to have been a small part of a legacy of love.

 

Something Good to Remember on a Monday

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Matthew 5:1 says, “Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.”

I’ve read past that a thousand or more times. I’ve rushed past those words to get to the Sermon on the Mount, the good stuff. But I think I’ve done myself a disservice by not paying attention to this verse, particularly the first three words: “Seeing the crowds.”

Did you catch that? He saw the people who came to see him. He didn’t see bodies. He saw faces lined with pain. He saw heartaches and anxieties and unrest. He saw people just trying to get through the day.

Just as he sees you and he sees me.

Do you ever feel unnoticed? Do you ever post on facebook and no one responds? Do you ever comment on someone else’s post and he or she responds to everyone else but you?

Do you often feel invisible in a crowd? Has the thought ever crossed your mind that no one would miss you if you were suddenly not there? Or like George Bailey, do you think the world would be better off if you’d never been born?

You may not feel like anyone knows you or the secret shame and pain you carry. Jesus does.

You may think that you don’t matter to anyone. You matter to Jesus.

You are not alone. You have an advocate, someone who is on your side, who fights for you, who roots for you, who won’t abandon you in the dark or in the storms. His name is Jesus.

I didn’t come up with this, but it’s still true: if you had been the only one lost and in need of a Savior, Jesus still would have gone through every bit of the cross just for you. He loves you that much.

If your Monday’s been awesome, that’s great. God rejoices with you. But if your Monday was horrible and couldn’t end soon enough, this promise still holds true.

This is from a ragamuffin who needs daily reminders of the goodness of God as much as anyone else. God is faithful, even when it seems he is absent. He is good, always.

 

Haunted

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I spent some time yesterday at some land that’s been in the family for a while. We affectionately call it The Farm, although it hasn’t really been used for farming in a very long time.

Still, for me it brings back so many memories. I remember coming there every summer as a child and playing with my sister and cousin. That was back when I was sure I’d find a secret cave or a buried Confederate treasure. I never did, but the memories I have of those days are much more valuable than any old coins I could have found.

More than anything, I’m haunted by the memory of people who I miss. I still expect to see them there, like they’re as much a part of the place as the old buildings and trees.

I expect to see my uncle ambling down the road, wondering what funny story he had for me.  Or my other uncle coming down the gravel driveway in his Ford Bronco. Or maybe my grandmother sitting on the porch, smiling and singing an old hymn. I’d give anything to be able to go outside in the middle of the night with my cousin and do nothing but look up at the sky lit up with stars.

I especially miss when the whole family would get together once a year for a family reunion and the food would taste better and the conversations would be sweeter on that day than any other.

Every blade of grass holds a memory and every leaf is a reminder of days passed. I can pass through those gates and feel exactly like I did when I was 10 years old and still obsessed with old coins and baseball cards.

I think C.S. Lewis was the one who said that a pleasure is not fully consummated until it is remembered. It’s too bad I couldn’t fully appreciate those days and the people for what they were– a gift. But I have memories now that make me smile. And that’s enough.

 

 

What Are Christians For?

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I was finishing up season 1 of Downton Abbey when a facebook post caught my eye. It was entitled “A Christian’s View of Downton Abbey.” I had to read, though I feared what the result would be.

My fears were realized. The reviewer condemned the series after watching part of an episode.

I’m not here to say the assessment was wrong. You have the right to your opinion and I have the right to mine. What bothered me was that this is yet another example of how we as believers are known for what we’re against, rather than what we’re for.

I still remember how Christians came out against the Harry Potter books and movies, even though most of them had not read one word of the books or seen any part of the movies. I even saw Christians attack Twilight and try to tie the series to teenagers wanting to become vampires. As if Twilight was the only vampire franchise in town.

How does any of this attract people to Christ? How does any of this show love? I’m all for personal convictions, but I’m not about to impose my personal convictions on someone else. I’m not about to condemn someone else who has different convictions than mine.

I choose to show what I’m for rather than what I’m against. I want people to know I’m for Jesus and all he stands for. That’s love, forgiveness, second chances, repentance, belonging, renewal, and –best of all– life abundant.

I don’t believe in condoning sin or sinful behavior. But I believe in loving the sinner.

Above all, I know how many times I mess up in a single day. I’m not about to pick up a stone to throw at anybody, because I know that I can’t say that I am without sin. I’ve been the recipient of grace from God and so many people over the years and now it’s my turn to pay it forward and show that grace to as many people as I can as much as I can.

This isn’t written by someone who’s figured it all out and is preaching at you from on high. As the old saying goes, “I’m just one beggar trying to tell other beggars where to find bread.” I’m just a sinner saved by grace who fell in love with Jesus and wants every single person to know that.

That’s all.

A Book Review In Progress Of A Book I’ve Already Read

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importance

“The great mark of a Christian is what no other characteristic can replace, namely the example of a life which can only be explained in terms of God” (Cardinal Emmanuel Suhard).

I’m re-reading a Brennan Manning book, The Importance of Being Foolish: How to Think Like Jesus. I started off not sure of whether I’d read the book or not, but soon started recognizing that I had indeed read it before. No matter. It’s worth a second (or third or fourth) read because it still speaks the same truth it did the first time around.

The book resonates with me because it is all about getting the Christian faith back to the basics. Actually, one basic: knowing Jesus. Not just in a ecclesiastical or theological way. Not knowing facts about him or memorizing his words to spout off in an argument. It’s about knowing Jesus, celebrating how he chose a nobody like me (or anyone else) to love and rescue and save.

This Jesus isn’t the feel-good type who’s telling everybody to be nicer to each other. He’s not only a wise teacher trying to make us better people with better morals and better ethics. He’s God in the flesh who says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.”

It’s both comforting and convicting. It’s comforting in that it’s about knowing a Person, not following rules and being good enough. It’s convicting, because I can’t know Jesus and stay the same. I can’t follow Jesus and not have to change radically.

I love this quote of Manning’s (from another book he wrote):

“The gospel is absurd and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died, and rose again with but one purpose in mind: to make brand-new creation. Not to make people with better morals but to create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Spirit that burns within, who would live in ever greater fidelity to the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumes, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love. This, my friend, is what it really means to be a Christian.”

That’s what I’m after. Are you?

 

 

Borrowed Thoughts

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I think a part of me would very much like to sleep until noon every day. That part of me would love to gorge myself with chocolate as much as possible and only eat foods that while being extremely tasty, are extremely bad for me.

I remember what a pastor said once. He said that no one ever wakes up in them morning and thinks, “Hey, today I’m gonna screw my life up beyond all recognition.” It all starts with choices.

I’ve never woken up thinking, “Today I’d like a heaping helping of humility and trials and crappiness in my day. I want everything to go wrong and to feel like the day is never going to end.

Just like the Israelites probably never thought, “Gee, I’d like to wander around in a desert for 40 years, eating some strange pastry that falls from the sky and drinking water out of rocks. That sounds like my cup of tea.” But that’s what they got.

God doesn’t often give us what we want as much as he gives us what we need. I may want non-stop chocolate, but I need to be healthy and not weigh 800 pounds. I may want to sleep late every day of my life, but I need to spend time with God in the morning to get my bearings put right.

I heard that discipline is getting us to a place we would have never thought to go on our own. On my own, I’d never think to develop a constant prayer life and a complete dependence on God. But when I find myself in places where my way just doesn’t work and I have no more answers, I find myself praying to and depending on God a lot more.

I’m grateful now looking back that I didn’t get a lot of what I asked God for in prayer. I thought I knew what I needed, but it was only what I thought I wanted at the time.

A perfect illustration is looking at a 1-year old. He may think he knows what he needs and what is best for him, but he doesn’t. He has to be told what is and what is not good for him. The father may have to discipline him to get him to see what he wants and what is best for him aren’t always the same thing. I’m a lot like that little boy.

May you and I come to embrace the hard days as well as the good ones, because they remind us of how much we really do need God every day. May Jesus use the trials and troubles we face to develop in us a constant faith and a undying hope and a love that won’t quit.