grace

Deep Thoughts

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Sometimes, you get a little philisophical driving home from a movie after midnight. You think deep thoughts, or at least I do.

Sometimes, I look back over what I thought I needed. I look back over what I thought I had to have to make me happy. I see that person I desperately wanted to like me, that would make life complete. I am so thankful that God said no to some of my prayers. I’m thankful He let me experience a little hurt to save me from a greater agony of getting what I thought I wanted only to find out it wasn’t what I needed.

I have come to the place where I can see that person I thought was for me and see them finding happiness with someone else and not only be happy for them, but pray for their success and joy. I can be glad when someone else gets what I wanted, when someone else has handed to them what I worked for.

Because it’s not about me. It’s not about me finding that special someone and starting a life together.

It is about Jesus. It has been, is, and will always be about Him. The verse says that I must decrese so that He may increase. I must get out of the way so that He can get in the way. I must let my dreams go, so that His dreams for me and the world can come true.

If Jesus never did one thing more for me than save me, then I would still not have enough lifetimes to properly thank Him. Not even an eternity of thanksgiving and praise would be enough. If I had used up all my blessings already (as one pastor put it), then I would be good.

So, I come to you Jesus with open hands. I hold all my relationships and possessions not with clenched fists, but with open hands, palms facing up. If you leave them in my care a little longer, You are good. If you take them away, You are still good. If all I get from You is You and the next breath of air, that will be enough.

Jesus, You are enough.

Amen.

Goodwill Finds

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

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I am fast becoming a Goodwill junkie. I love going in those stores, not knowing what I’ll find, and walking away with a few unexpected treasures. Like today, for instance. I went in looking for music and came out with a little stained glass piece that has Romans 8:31 on it. Well, it looks like stained glass to my untrained eye. I went in with visions of finding Amy Winehouse CDs and found something I didn’t expect to find, but ended up being much more meaningful to me than what I was looking for.

I think life is a lot like that.

Sure, you can live your life in safe mode. That’s where you always hang out with the same people and go to the same places. That’s where you love people who are loveable and and invest in the friendships with people who are popular and know the secret handshake and password. Those in the know and on the go, so to speak.

That’s fine, but you never find any unexpected treasures there.

Sometimes, you have to go out of your way to find that treasure hidden in a field that’s worth more than everything you own put together. Sometimes, you have to get out of your safe life to find the most satisfying and rewarding moments.

Maybe the treasure is found in the friends who are on the outside with the in-crowd, but who have deep wells of wisdom when it comes to walking with Jesus. Maybe it’s in serving those who won’t say thank you, or giving to those who will never pay you back.

Maybe it’s in giving that someone a second chance after they screwed up the first and finding that forgiveness is its own reward.

I think God deliberately puts the most precious things and people and places and moments in the most ordinary disguises so that they will mean that much more to us when we find them and see them for their true worth and value. It’s a fearful thing to step out in faith that way, but the risk is always way more than worth it.

I can think of a few friends who have turned out to be golden. My family is the same way. Those memories I cherish most happened when I was expecting something else (or not expecting anyhing at all).

Sometimes, when you go digging through the trash, when you go to the lowliest places, sometimes you will look into the face of the broken and hopeless and outcast and find Jesus there.

To Be Known and To Know

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I had a dream when I was in grade school where I walked into the wrong classroom on my first day of school and everyone stared at me like I had three eyes and antennas growing out of my head. It was not a good dream. I was very glad to wake up from that one.

I also remember in the past longing with everything in me for someone who would really know me and still want to be my friend. I’ve had a lot of surface friendships, but very few with people who really, really knew me.

I think just about everyone deep down wants to be known.

I think everyone wants someone who knows them for who they really are, with flaws and insecurities and fears, and still chooses to stick around.

I believe that everyone wants to be able to be themselves around someone, to be free to say dumb and awkward stuff occasionally and not be ostracized for it.

I feel that all of us want to be able to take the mask off, to not have to always respond to “How are you doing?” with “Oh, I’m fine,” but to really give the honest answer along the lines of, “I’m not doing so well today . . . .”

We long for someone who will see our brokenness and not shun us, who will see our weaknesseses and not treat us like lepers. Someone who will walk alongside us during the hard days and the tough times and will gently guide us back onto the path when we’ve strayed.

Jesus is the friend who sticks closer than a brother. He’s the one who knows our innermost being, including the deepest, darkest secrets we keep and the places we hide that no one else knows about.

I really and truly believe that to be known in that way requires two things. First, that we seek to know others in the same way and second, that we are brave enough to be that open and honest and transparent to let people inside.

My prayer is that you can be truly known for all of who you are and loved, first by knowing the God who made you and knows you better than you know yourself and loves you completely and perfectly, and then by people God will bring into your life who will inspire you and touch you and leave their footprints permanently etched in your heart.

The One Jesus Loved Dearly

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I’m in the middle of reading through the Gospel of John. That probably would earn me bonus points until I point out the fact that I am reading out of The Message version. So much for the bonus points. FYI Just kidding about the whole bonus points thing. You only get bonus points if you can read out of the original Greek.

In John 13, John refers to himself as “the disciple Jesus loved.” I really like how the Message renders it– “the one Jesus loved dearly.” That got me thinking. How do I see myself most of the time and how do you see yourself most of the time?

As the one who can’t go through a single day without making a stupid mistake?

As the one who opens his or her mouth and inserts his or her foot repeatedly?

As the one who runs friends off and who always hears about great parties but is never invited to any?

As the one who has already blown your 2012 resolutions to smithereens?

As the one who couldn’t save the marriage or stay clean or hold back the words spoken in anger that drove someone away or keep the vows you made?

I could go on and on and on. The list is endless. I’m sure you could add many to the list.

John the Apostle could have probably added his own list of names– such as the one who lost his temper a lot, or the one who wanted Jesus to smite those Samaritans, or the one who deserted Jesus in his hour of greatest need.

Yet the one John chooses to call himself, the one he refers to himself as, is the one Jesus loved dearly.

That’s you. Once Jesus found you and saved you, you were no longer owned by any of the names you gave yourself or the names your father or mother or anyone else gave you. Your identity was changed forever to the Beloved, the one Jesus loves dearly.

It’s good to remind yourself of this fact when you have screwed up for the 55th time and it’s not even lunchtime. It’s good to remember this when you have spoken words that you immediately wish you could pull back and say differently. No matter what you’ve done, these words are still true and nothing you do will change that.

You are and will always be the one Jesus loves dearly.

More Thoughts on 2012

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Ok. We’re 2 days into 2012, so it’s time for a little self-evaluation.

Are you keeping those resolutions or have you already given up on half of them and said something to the effect of “Just wait until 2013. That’s gonna be a banner year for my resolutions”?

Are you doing better at being patient and slow to anger? Are you exhibiting more grace toward those who aren’t as easy to get along with? Are you handling adversity and trials and most of all, those little annoying things that seem to get under your skin?

I think I lasted about 30 minutes into my first day back at work before I was ready to go back to bed. It was that kind of day. So I thought I would pass along a few reminders that you may or may not need at this point, but that I definitely do.

1) If all you can say is that you’re still here, then that qualifies as a success. No matter what got thrown your way, you survived, and that’s something to celebrate, even if it’s the only thing.

2) God is still the same God who promised never to leave you or forsake you. The same God who promised to complete the good work He started in you.

3) There’s nothing you will face that He can’t overcome in and through you. No matter how big the obstacle, God is bigger. No matter how strong the foe, God is stronger. No matter how hard the journey or the process, God is up to it.

4) Tomorrow everything starts over. The score will be 0-0 and your slate will be clean. No matter how badly you messed up or how big a fiasco you made, you still get new mercy and fresh grace and unlimited steadfast love, courtesy of your Heavenly Father.

5) Nothing seems as hopeless after you’ve had a good night’s sleep. Or even a decent night’s sleep.

If you need to, you can read this again tomorrow night. And the night after that. Even if you don’t, do remember the promises of God are always for you and always as sure as the God who made them. Just remember that and you’ll be fine.

The Next to Last Day of 2011

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I heard a good joke today: What do you call the day before New Year’s Eve? New Year’s Adam, of course.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that is is day 364 of 2011. It still feels like it should be August. Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas should all be months away.

But I’m looking at all those festive holidays in my rearview mirror and looking at 2012 coming up fast. Only one more full day and it will be a new year with all sorts of new potential and new possibilities and a whole slew of unknowns and variables.

Sometimes I wish I had a remote button for my life with an oversized pause button. That way I could stop everything and take it all in and appreciate all of it. I could stop and smell all those roses.

There is no pause button for life. There’s no way to stop time so you can really appreciate all you have. You have to let go of some good things that keep you from the better things and keep you from enjoying the little moments.

That’s why prayer is so important. It forces you to stop all the madcap rushing around and focus on what really matters in life and why we’re here. Prayer reminds us of two truths: 1) that we’re not in control and 2) God is. Prayer reminds us that we are still needy, dependent creatures who have nothing and can do nothing without God.

Life is too short for regrets and grudges and posturing and impatience. Life is now, and we miss it if we’re always looking ahead to the next big event. God is with us here in this moment where we are. We can’t hear Him if we’re dwelling in the past or always anticipating the future.

If you have a resolution for 2012, make it this: live each day as it comes and cherish every moment God gives you, for each moment is unique and will never come again in exactly the same way.

Happy New Year in advance from a nobody who’s still trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody.

Choices

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Life is full of choices. Some hard, some easy. Somtimes you get to choose between the better of two good things, and sometimes it’s between bad and worse.

You can choose vanilla or chocolate, although in my mind there is no choice there. Chocolate wins everytime, especially when peanut butter is involved.

You can choose Coke or Pepsi, or be like me and like ’em both. Or just be healthy and drink water.

In 2012, I think there are some choices we must make that will determine how those around us view our faith and how much or little it means to us.

You can choose to walk away from someone who’s struggling, or you can choose to walk the extra mile with them. You can choose to bail when the friendship takes work, or you can be like Jesus, the Friend who sticks closer than a brother or sister.

You can choose bitterness and anger, or you can choose to forgive. You can hold on to hurt until it consumes you alive, or you can release it and live the freedom God meant for you to live.

You can choose the safe and the known and the comfortable, or you can choose the road less traveled. You can seek out familiar friends and places and stay exactly like you are, or you can find Jesus in the hurting and broken and lonely and friendless and walk away changed and more like Christ.

You can choose to seek approval and affection and attention and always be striving to make people like you, or you can choose to seek first God’s kingdom and His approval and find out that people will be drawn to the difference they see in someone who is content with who they are and what they have.

You can choose to serve the gods of power and success and prosperity and fame and the in-crowd. You can choose to worship at the altar of money, sex, food, consumerism, and self. Or you can say, “As for me and my house, we will serve only Yahweh.”

To not choose is itself a choice. So choose life. Choose the narrow road that leads to life in the fullest sense, and not the broad road that leads to the death of your own identity at the hands of what you think everyone wants you to be. Choose Jesus, because He first chose you.

 

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

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“He came to Nazareth where he had been reared. As he always did on the Sabbath, he went to the meeting place. When he stood up to read, he was handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. Unrolling the scroll, he found the place where it was written,

   God’s Spirit is on me;
      he’s chosen me to preach the Message of good news to
       the poor,
   Sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and
      recovery of sight to the blind,
   To set the burdened and battered free,
      to announce, “This is God’s year to act!”
He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the assistant, and sat down. Every eye in the place was on him, intent. Then he started in, “You’ve just heard Scripture make history. It came true just now in this place.” (Luke 4:17-21)

I have a  few questions for you to ponder.

What if we choose to see 2012 as the Year of the Lord’s Favor?

What if we not only read these words as only words written 2,000 years ago, but as the very living and breathing words of God that still speak and resonate today?

What if we truly believed that we as Jesus’ body on earth, His hands and feet, could see these things happen with our own eyes?

I’ve been thinking a lot about a conversation I had with a good friend recently at Starbucks. The conversation was about how we could help people walking through struggles and issues and addictions and hurts and help them see that they’re not walking alone. About how we could come alongside them and walk with them and show them the way to freedom the way someone did for us.

We could see people set free from bondage. We could see those who were blind to the truth all these years suddenly seeing the great love the Father has for them. We could see those crippled by the past suddenly walking in the liberty where there is no more shame or guilt, only forgiveness and joy. We could see Jesus healing people through us.

I think if we believe with radical and unquenchable faith in the Jesus who made these words come true, the same things will happen again. I believe if we are willing to stop merely assenting to our faith and live it out in the open for all to see, crazy things will happen.

I believe if you and I say “YES” to whatever Jesus asks us to do and wherever He asks us to go, whenever He asks, there’s no telling what He will do in us and through us. Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, as the Bible proclaims, what God has in store for us who believe with our hearts and lives and not just our heads.

Do you believe that? Then say “YES” to Jesus now.

December 27, or Christmas III: Revenge of the Mistletoe

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I have absolutely no idea why I came up with this title. It just felt good in a whimsical kind of way. And it will probably have nothing at all to do with the rest of the blog.

Today ends my Christmas vacation, or stay-cation, since I didn’t exactly go anywhere during my time off. It was also yet another memorable Christmas for me and once again, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Christmas Day has already come and gone.

The older I get, the more keenly aware I am of family and friends. The more I see how precious they are to me. The more I am aware of just how much God has blessed and encouraged and challenged and changed me through all of them.

I also see that while I take for granted that all my family and all my friends will always be there, I also know they won’t. This Christmas reminded me of how fragile this life is and how we must handle it with care. Life is much too valuable to be wasted on grudges and petty things and unforgiveness. The pain spent making a wrong right or mending a broken friendship or simply saying, “I’m sorry, I was wrong forgive me,” is much less than the pain of regret over words not spoken and forgiveness withheld.

I see that the most valuable things in life are too precious to hold on to with closed fists. I must hold them with open hands, always ready to let them go. Really, nothing in this life belongs to me, anyway. I’m just taking care of it. My job is  to make sure that everything and everyone in my life leaves me better off than when I received them.

My job is to make sure that in the time you know me and spend with me, I let you go looking more like Jesus than before I met you. That you run the race with more assurance and fight the good faith with more confidence and trust God more radically.

That’s where I am headed in 2012. Less of me and more of Jesus. Less of my own plans and more of surrender to whatever He wants. Less anxiety and craving and striving and more resting and trusting and believing the promises.

Most of all, I want to remain a Ragamuffin whose mantra is still “My Abba is very fond of me (and you)!”

 

Christmas Is Over?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I can remember on December 26 that I always had a sort of letdown feeling. It didn’t matter that I got everything on my wish list or that I saw all my family happy and together. I still couldn’t help but feeling a bit depressed on the day after.

If Christmas is just a day, then that’s a natural feeling. If we spend so much time and energy in anticipation for one day of presents and food, then there’s no way the actual day can live up to all the hype. Especially these days when there is more and more pressure to buy the perfect gift and to go into debt to do so.

But if Christmas is a frame of mind, then we know that the best gift has already been given. There’s no need to try and compete with the perfect first gift of Christmas, wrapped by a teenage peasant in swaddling clothes and laid in a feeding trough. This gift isn’t for just one day a year, but for all 365 days a year.

If Christmas isn’t just about giving and receiving, then it doesn’t disappoint. If Christmas is about honoring the first gift, about celebrating the birth of Emmanuel, then Christmas takes on a whole new meaning. If we strive to fill the stocking of the Christ-child, so to speak, we find ourselves asking a whole new set of questions.

What would He want most from us? What gift could we bring that would most honor Him who gave everything for us? Who came to earth on December 25 expressly for the purpose of taking our place and dying the death we deserved, so we could have more full and abundant life than our wildest dreams could conceive?

I think what Jesus wants from us is us. Not out wallets or our talents or our calendars, but us. Living sacrifices and vessels set apart for God to use whenever and however He chooses. Vessels of mercy, kindness, grace, and above all, love.

I want to wake up tomorrow and live out a thank you to Jesus. I want everything I do and say, everywhere I go, to be Jesus working and speaking through me. I want to live out the true meaning of Christmas, not just one day a year, but every day of every year for as long as God gives me breath.

I hope and pray that every day for you will be Christmas where you seek to give Jesus the best present you have to give Him– your heart.