grace

To My Single Friends Out There

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I heard some good dating advice recently. The pastor spoke of how Abraham sent out his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. The servant’s test for who God picked for Isaac was the one who not only offered to give him water, but also to give water to his camels. In other words, the attribute he was looking for was kindness.

Is kindness on your list of top ten attributes you look for in a mate? Honestly, until very recently, I can’t say that it was on mine. Kindness is a virtue that gets overlooked these days, or gets mislabled as being passive or being a pushover. All those articles on ten easy steps to finding Mr. or Mrs. Right probably will leave kindness off their lists.

But remember this. Kindness is important. After all, it was the kindness of the Lord which led you to repentence. It was His kindness that led you to your salvation. Kindness can break through hard hearts where brute strength and force never could.

I bet if you were to ask a man or woman who has been married for more than 10 years, a couple who has weathered all the seasons and storms of life, how they value kindness, they would probably rate it high on their list. After physical beauty fades, kindness remains. When the money is gone, kindness will still be around. After the confident swagger is shaken, kindness is what’s left.

Kindness is love given to the least of these, to those who can’t pay it back, to those who need it most but don’t know how to express that need. Kindness is given without any expectation or return or reward, but is its own reward. As the song says, “In the end, only kindness matters.” I believe that’s true.

Do you? Then choose kindness.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in 2012

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It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, but I thought it was time. I’ve learned a lot about myself and God and the whole waiting process since then.

I almost gave up on you. In fact, every day it’s a struggle not to quit believing in the possibility of you being out there. It’s hard to believe that I can ever be the man of God who will be able to be your husband and take care of you. In fact, it will probably take a miracle.

Then again, all the best things in life are miracles. Every time a child is conceived and carried to term and born, it’s a miracle. Every time a child grows into a man or woman whose faith is intact despite a thousand voices that tell him or her to deny that faith, it’s a miracle.

I am learning that in order to find you, I must seek Him. I must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything that encompasses. I must follow hard after Jesus so I can look beside me and see you running just as hard and fast in the same direction. Then I’ll know.

I pray your faith is stronger than mine and that your doubts win out less. I pray you can rest more in your Abba’s sovereign grace and live out of the peace of being in the center of His will, even if that will doesn’t look anything like you thought it would.

I pray you see your beauty radiating from the inside out, coming from Jesus shining through every part of your being. I pray you love who God made you as He made you and can look at yourself in the mirror and see what God saw when He said, “It is very good.”

Tomorrow will be another struggle to hold on to hope for you, but whatever the cost in sweat, blood, tears, and pain, it will have been worth it when I finally meet you. So I wait.

Seeking

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“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself” (Luke 12:29-32).

In this passage, Jesus is telling His disciples to seek the Kingdom rather than after food and clothing and other needs and wants that tend to crowd our lives. I heard a really good sermon today about what seeking in that context looks like.

To seek after something is to set your heart on it and make it the most important thing in your life. When you seek after things, whether they be possessions or money or relationships or any other material things, then you tune your hearts to worry.

Are you setting your heart on a relationship or the possibility of a relationship?

Are you setting your heart on money or how to get more money?

Are you setting your heart on gaining influence and privilege and power? On making a name for yourself? On knowing and being seen by the right people?

There are so many things that can be good things that can lead to worry and frustration if they become the main thing. A good thing that you make the most important thing is an idol if that is anything other than seeking after God and His kingdom.

If you seek the Kingdom of God, His complete rule over your life and all that He is and does for you, then you will find that He takes care of the very things you were worried about before. You will find all your needs have been met without you  having to scramble all around after them.

You can tell what you’re seeking by what and where your treasures are. You can tell what you treasure most by two things: your checkbook and your day planner. If you’re like me, you just got very convicted at the thought without even having to look. You know what and where your treausures have been, and they have been anything but heavenly.

But tomorrow is a good day to start over and start seeking the right things, like God and His kingdom. Or better yet, today is an even better place to start. Like I’ve said before, it’s never too late to turn around and start over and be who God made you to be. Never.

Real and Lasting Change

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I was reading in John 19 and a particular phrase caught my attention. I’d read it before and thought nothing of it, but for some reason, these particular words lept off the page at me: “Nicholas, who had first come to Jesus at night, now came in broad daylight”.

That may not mean much to you, but it meant the world to me. It was a reminder to me of the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to actually and truly change lives. It was a reminder that even old crusty theologians can be taught new tricks and come to see like a little child again.

This Gospel is the same that transformed 12 men from cowards who hid behind locked doors after Jesus’ death to courageous followers who each were willing to give up everything to follow Jesus and who paid heavy prices for their commitments.

This Gospel took a man who lied and betrayed Jesus to save his own skin to a man willing to die by cruxifiction upside down for the same Jesus.

This Gospel took a man who persecuted and killed in the name of religion and had much to boast about in his law-keeping abilities to a man who called himself “chief of sinners” and was willing to go through stoning, beatings, humiliations, prison and so much more for the cause of making the name of Christ known to the world.

The Gospel took me, someone who thought nobody could love and who didn’t think God could use or do anything with, and made me someone who is finding out that I am the beloved. I am the child of my Abba, who is very fond of me and can take my mustard seed of faith and move mountains with it.

When someone says they can’t change, don’t believe it. When someone says, you won’t ever change or you can’t change or it’s too late for you to change, don’t believe them.

I still believe and will always believe that with God, all things are possible. With God, you can change, or better yet, God can take the broken pieces of your heart and life and put them back together better than new. You won’t be a fixed or even a better person. You will be  a completely new creation.

Just ask the disciples. Just ask Peter. Just ask Paul. And just ask the dying thief on the cross moments before he died. It’s never too late to change. It’s never to late to start becoming who God meant for you to be. All you need to start is your YES to Jesus.

The rest will be history.

 

My Borrowed Prayer for You

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This is not original with me, but it expresses what I want for you better than I could, so I’m stealin’ it.

“May God bless you with a restless discomfort

about easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,

so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger

at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,

so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears

to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish,

so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness

to believe that you really can make a difference in this world,

so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.”

There’s only one thing I can add to that: AMEN.

Who Believes In You?

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Maybe you’ve had the kind of day where all your mistakes pile up and come crashing down on you like an avalanche. Maybe you feel buried underneath all the weight of your mistakes and bad decisions and failures. Maybe you believe in your heart that you’ve screwed up one too many times and exhausted all your grace cards.

Maybe some of the people in your life have quit believing in you or that you will ever amount to anything. Maybe your friends have quit believing in you and moved on. Maybe your family quit believing in you that there is any hope left that you will ever amount to anything. Maybe you quit believing in yourself.

I am here with some very good news.

God still believes in you. God hasn’t quit believing in you nor will He ever. He believes in what He’s doing in you, in the work He started so very long ago, before you were even born or were even a glimmer in your parent’s eye.

When you’ve given up hoping and believing that you will ever amount to anything, God knows that when He’s done with you, you will look just like Jesus. When you’ve just about thrown in the towel on all your hopes and dreams for a better future, God still has dreams for you that are so much bigger than the wildest, craziest dreams you ever dared to dream for yourself

When you’ve lost all hope, remember that God invented hope. As long as God is alive and on your side, you always have hope. Not a wishful thinking, “I hope my team wins on Sunday” kind of hope, either. This hope is as sure as the promises God made to you, and as certain as the God who made them.

God believes in you. God loves you more than your mind will ever be able to comprehend. No matter what anyone else tells you, no matter what you have told yourself in the darkness of your room when you’re alone, God speaks a better word. His word trumps any other word ever spoken to or about you.

And this is His word to you now: I believe in you and I am very fond of you and when I’m done, you will be everything I meant for you to be. You will be just like Jesus.

A Reminder to Breathe

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The advice for the day, in a word, is CHILL. At least for me it is.

The past few days I have given in to fear and worry, imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios and expecting the bottom to fall out at any moment.

Yet again, I found out that the worst didn’t happen and the bottom has yet to fall.

God is still bigger than all my fears and worries and doubts. He’s still very much able to take care of me and all my concerns.

So I just need to remember to breathe in and out slowly and remember that God still works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I need to relax and remind myself that He’s still in control, and will be long after I’m gone. He’ll definitely be around longer than all those things I tend to worry and fret over.

My Abba is very fond of me and will never do anything less than His very best for me. I’m in good Hands. No, I’m in the very best of Hands.

I hope you will remember this the next time your worries and fears seem to overwhelm you.

What you’re afraid of may be big, but God is still bigger. What you’re worried about may seem beyond hope, but with God, there’s always hope.

So just think about that and breathe in and out deeply and slowly and everything will get better. I promise.

Takeaways from Kairos Tonight

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I feel like I blew it the last few days. I said and texted and posted some stuff that I now wish I could take back. In fact, there are whole sections of the last day or two that I wish I could have a do-over on. Today, I let fear and worry take over and I listened to them instead of the voice of the One who calls me Beloved and says good things about me.

In Kairos, I was reminded that the Gospel is about God’s YES rather than God’s NO. While the world and those around you may be telling you all the things you are not: not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, not talented enough, etc. Sometimes, even you feel that you don’t measure up or have what it takes.

The Gospel doesn’t start with how bad off you are. The Gospel isn’t about how much of a sinner you are and how wide you’re going to bust hell open. The Gospel starts, “For God so loved the world.” For God so loved YOU that He gave His only, unique, one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-another Son, so that if YOU believe in Him, YOU will not perish but YOU will have eternal life.

On those days when what you want to say sounds right in your head but comes out totally wrong out of your mouth or through your text, God loves you. When you completely give in to the anger and frustration and completely lose your religion, God still loves you. When you forget who you are in Christ and start trying to find someone or something to define you and make you complete, God still loves you. And He always will.

Brennan Manning said, “Tragedy is that our attention centers on what people are not, rather than on what they are and who they might become.” God sees not what we are not and all we lack, but who we are, His sons and daughters whom He loves and died for. He sees who we will be and He reminds of our future selves who are fully complete and mature and just like Jesus. That’s what we’re becoming.

All that from a sermon I heard tonight at Kairos. I’d say I needed to hear it. I hope you did, too. If nothing else, remember what I always say: Your Abba is very fond of you and is not even close to giving up on you, even if others are or even if you are. That’s the truth. Live out of that.

 

Turning 40: A Retrospective Look at My Past

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According to my iffy math skills, I have 49 more days left of my 30’s. Then I turn the dreaded 4-0. But according to Facebook, I have nothing to worry about. I’m supposed to die when I’m rollerblading at 95 and get hit by a car, based on the wisdom of a facebook application I used once. Apparently, my roller blading braking skills will still be non-existent 46 years later.

When I was in my 20’s, I knew a lot more than I do now. At least I thought I did. At that age, it’s very easy to confuse knowledge with wisdom. It’s very easy to have a faith that’s either all head-knowledge or almost solely emotion-based. But I digress. I had very definite ideas about theology and doctrine and dating (even though I didn’t date, which is probably why I was against it).

In my 30’s, I found out I knew less that I thought I did and was certain about even less. My black and white world suddenly had room for some gray areas. I still held to the essential basics of the faith, but I was able to live and let live over disagreements and not feel the need to win every argument or prove my side every time.

Now, I see more than ever my great need for God. I see more than ever what I would be like apart from the grace of God and what I see scares me. I see my need for grace every single day.

I have been learning forgiveness for others, but primarily for myself. I have learned how to fail gracefully and learn from it. I have learned to listen to my family and my friends and my brothers and sisters in the faith. I have learned to look for Jesus in those around me and when I find it, to imitate what I see.

Have I succeeded? By the world’s standards, probably not. But by God’s standards, I think so. I believe more and more every day that if you have survived up to this point and you’re still standing, that’s success. If you fall down more times than me when I tried to roller blade and get back up each time, that’s success.

I don’t know what the 40’s will teach me, but I’m ready for whatever God has for me. It may not be what I expect. In fact,  I can almost guarantee that what God has for me will be nothing like I thought it would be, but way better than I could have hoped for.

And it will be so much more than worth the wait.

A Place Where You Belong

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Sometimes, you feel like you just don’t belong or fit in. Kinda like when you’re the odd single in a group of couples or when everyone is talking with someone else and you’re stuck talking to the pet hamster, whose communication skills could use a little work.

Many have what is known commonly as “square-peg-itis”, where you feel like a square peg in a round hole most of the time. No matter where you go, you feel as though you’re not wanted or worse, that no one even knows you’re there at all.

That’s what I love about the body of believers known as the Church. That’s a place where you belong. That’s a place you fit, because you were made to fit and play a role that only you can play. God gave you unique combination of talents and gifts and passions that no one else has and that can serve the Kingdom of God.

The body of Christ often gets treated as a business or an organization, but it’s not supposed to be that way. The body of Christ is a family. The kind of family where you’re always welcomed with open arm. The place where you’re no longer a stranger or a visitor, but a fellow pilgrim and a friend and– best of all– family.

This is the place where you can be yourself and take off the mask. This is the place where you can mess up and get a second chance, where you can blow it big time and find grace, where griefs are shared, sorrows are divided, and joys are multiplied.

A place where you find out who you are, your true self, and where you become all that God in Christ made and meant for you to be. Who wouldn’t want to be in a place like that?

Sadly, the Church doesn’t often look like that. But that’s what God calls her to be. And that’s what she is in her finest moments. That’s what will be our most effective witness and powerful way of communicating just how good and great our God is.

God, may we be one just as You are one. May we love each other as You loved us and so love people into Your kingdom. May we be always be a community where our doors are always open and where no one is left out, but everyone is welcome and belongs and fits in.

Amen.