friendship

Don’t Give Up

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This is a word for the faint-hearted and down-trodden. Don’t give up.

You may be close to giving up or throwing in the towel or calling it quits, but don’t.

You may think the storm will never abate and the sky will always be filled with dark and ominous clouds and the sun will never come out again, but it will.

Your marriage may be hanging on by the slimmest of threads. You may dread getting up each morning and going to your job. You may sometimes wonder how your life came to seem so hopeless.

But don’t give up.

You may not think anyone sees or cares, but God does. And He’s already at work.

Somedays, it feels like you’re swimming upstream and wearing yourself out while getting nowhere, but God is leading you to a place that you don’t yet know but once you get there, it will all have been worth it.

Just trust God and take the next step. That’s all.

Take it from someone who’s been there. It will get better.

 

Happy Mother’s Day to the Best Mom Ever!

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Happy Mother’s Day to Delores Johnson, the best mom a guy ever had. Of all the moms I’ve ever had, you’re my favorite!

You took me to all those recitals and practics, including that ill-fated attempt at t-ball where all I did was play in the sandbox. Not to mention that aborted disaster that was gymnastics.

You took me to piano lessons, soccer practice, Boy Scouts, field trips, and to all those bookstores and music stores. It seemed like you must have logged a million miles on all those blue station wagons.

You took care of me when I got sick and made me feel better. You gave me crackers and coke for when I couldn’t hold anything else down. You kissed all my boo-boos and made them go away.

You survived my 10th birthday party at the skating rink at East End with all my 4th grade friends. You even managed to keep most of your sanity intact.

You were with us through the loss of three dogs and one parakeet, not forgetting those short-lived sea monkeys who prematurely expired due to a badly-thrown nerf football.

I always loved opening my lunchbox on Valentine’s Day and finding those little shoebox cards inside with those Little Debbie cakes.

You made vacations fun. You made rainy days fun. You made life fun.

I love you lots and in case I didn’t ever tell you before, you’re my hero. You’re one of the best, godliest women I know and if the woman I marry is half of who you are, I will be blessed indeed.

Lucy has read all the above and gives her two paws up as sign of her consent.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Just About Everything I Like Is Old

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Earlier today, when I was browsing the aisles at Sam’s Club, I happened across one of my favorite movies, The Goonies, on blu ray. Needless to say, I snatched it up and took it in my happy little hands and bought it. Then I took it home and watched it immediately. That movie invaded theatres back in 1985, 27 years ago. I felt old.

Friday, on one of my Goodwill scavenger hunts, I found Ace of Base on CD. It’s been in my car stereo taking me back to 1993, which by my math is 19 years ago. Yikes. The car is an 17-year old Jeep Cherokee that is now considered “vintage.”

One of my favorite TV series that I am revisiting is the revival of Dark Shadows that premiered on ABC 21 years ago in 1991. And yes, I am still miffed that the show got cancelled after only 12 episodes.

For the record, I have a Bible exactly like the one picture above. It’s one of my prized possessions and  is from 1828, which makes it 184 years old. More importantly that makes it older than me. Finally!

I am officially 40 years old. My cat Lucy is 12. As previously mentioned, my car is almost old enough to vote.

But old isn’t always bad. Sometimes, it’s a good thing. Fashions change and trends come and go, but true family and friends are forever.

In fact, some of the best things in life are old. I’ll go even further and say that the very best things in life are eternal. As C.S. Lewis eloquently expressed it, “All that is not eternal is eternally out of date.”

God is eternal. God is forever. God as revealed in Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is your True North, a constant when your life seems to be spiraling out of control and spinning of its axis.

As for me, I am a fan of old things. I am decidedly on the side of the eternal and unchangeable. And I am on God’s side, because He was on my side from the very beginning. What about you?

Listening to Your Life

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“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace” (Frederick Beuchner).

Sometimes, all you have to do is to keep your ears and eyes open for something good to happen.

So many people are rushing on to the next big event in their lives that they don’t have time (or won’t take the time) to look around. They never stop and smell any roses as they barrel down the interstate going 90.

But life is a one-shot deal. You don’t  get a do-over if you get to the end and realized you missed out on all the important stuff while chasing trends and keeping up with the proverbial Joneses.

I heard it in a sermon once and I think it is so true: you have to create margins in your schedule, breathing room so you’re not running 24/7 all week long. I’d add that you have to cultivate quietness and stillness in your life in order to hear from God on a consistent basis.

Some of the best moments in my life have come when I am wide-eyed, expectant, and looking for what God has for me in the moment. If I had been focused in the past on what I could have done better or in the future playing out possible scenarios, I would have missed them.

The truth is you will never have time unless you make time, and you will always make time for what you consider important. So make time for people instead of your to-do list. The world won’t end if every single item on your list isn’t checked off at the end of the day.

You will never get to the end of your life and regret not having worked more hours or not having made more money. You won’t be sorry that you left some things undone. What you will regret are words left unspoken. You will look back and wish you could have spent more time with those you loved, those you cared for, and those people God put in your life to teach you something valuable.

Today’s a good day to start. Or maybe, since it’s 21 minutes until midnight, tomorrow will do just fine.

Dumb Mistakes

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I remember vividly when I was a kid waiting for my sister. She took ballet and I would wait outside the building until her practice was over. One time, I had the genius idea and thought, “When she comes out, I’m racing her to the car.”

Lo and behold, she came out and I took off running. I didn’t stop until I sat down in the car. Then I looked up. I thought, “Hey, you’re not my sister. Hey, wait a minute, this isn’t our car.” It was probably one of the most awkward situations I’ve ever been in.

Maybe your mistake wan’t as funny. Maybe it was devastating or tragic. Maybe it ruined a friendship or even a marriage. Maybe you feel like you’re still paying for that mistake made so many years ago.

You’re not alone. Moses messed up royally. He got angry with God’s people and spoke as if he and not God were responsible for giving the Israelites water and helping them out of jams time and time again.

Then there’s David, who committed adultery with Bathsheeba, lied to and tried to deceive her husband, then finally had him killed. I think that qualifies as an epic fail.

The good news is that your story doesn’t have to end with failure. God offers forgiveness and a fresh start if you own up to what you did and are willing to change and go in a different direction.

I love what David wrote in Psalm 51 after he confessed to his own sin and repented of it:

“Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,

soak out my sins in your laundry.

I know how bad I’ve been;

my sins are staring me down.

You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen

it all, seen the full extent of my evil.

You have all the facts before you;

whatever you decide about me is fair.

I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,

in the wrong since before I was born.

What you’re after is truth from the inside out.

Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,

scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don’t look too close for blemishes,

give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don’t throw me out with the trash,

or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways

so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,

and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.

Unbutton my lips, dear God;

I’ll let loose with your praise.”

All I can add to that is

Amen.

Naked

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At Kairos, Mike Glenn spoke about how Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden and unashamed. That got me thinking. How great would it be if we were all naked?

I don’t mean naked in the sense of those movies they show late at night on those pay cable channels with the cheesy background music. Not that I would know anything at all about those kinds of movies.

I mean naked where there are no masks and no facades, no faking or pretending. Where you and I can truly be ourselves, with baggage and scars and hang-ups and be accepted as we are.

A good marriage is one where each person can truly be naked and unashamed; that is, each is genuine and authentic and real and honest and vulnerable and forgiving. That’s what I long for some day.

I think the Church is also a good place for people to be truly themselves. Where you can confess to one another and not be ostracized for it. Where you are allowed to be weak and doubting and insecure and temptation-prone and still belong. Where you’re family.

The nearer you draw to God, the more you are able to be your true self, the one God made you to be and the one He is transforming you into. You worry less and less about the opinions of others and are more comfortable standing outside the popular opinions and trends.

I still love the fact that Jesus saw me at my worst and set His love on me in that moment when I couldn’t possibly be more messed up. I love how He’s seen all the hidden sins and vile thoughts and ugly attitudes and His love for me has not diminished one bit (and it never will).

My prayer for you is that you can come before God completely naked and not hiding behind religious pretense and holy words and find shelter in His love.

Thanksgiving and Gratitude

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One thing I need to improve (out of many, many things) is to learn to cultivate a grateful spirit. I am far too often consumed by thoughts of what I don’t have, what I lack, and what I didn’t get.

Lately, I have found myself anything but grateful. I have found seeds of anger and bitterness and impatience welling up in me. I have had fears of what-ifs, such as what if I never get married, what if I never get that dream job, etc.

Tonight, I was invited to a cookout with good friends. I realized then and there just how very blessed I am. I am more blessed than I deserve to know the people I know, and more so that they actually like me back.

I am blessed by good health and a job and family who loves and encourages me and friends who stick around and say nice things about me and live out Christ in a way that challenges and inspires me.

Most of all, I am blessed by the relentless love of a God who continues to passionately pursue my heart and makes me more like Jesus every single day. Even when He allows circumstances I would not have chosen and answers prayers but not in the way I would have answered them, He is still good to me.

Even if I found out tonight that I used up all my allotted blessings and had no more left, I would be good. If I never got one more prayer answered and had all the rest of my dreams evaporate and all my hopes dashed, I’d be okay. Why?

Because I am still Abba’s child and He is still very fond of me. I know that He’s on my side and He fights for me and sings over me in the night.

And that’s enough for me right now.

Fearing God

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In the Bible, we’re told to fear God. Proverbs tells us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. But just what does that look like?

I heard a beautiful illustration on what fearing God looks like from John Piper. He says it’s like being caught in the middle of a powerful storm, but watching it from a safe and protected place. You can still see the majesty and power of the storm and respect it, but not be in danger from it.

For those of us who have trusted Christ and chosen to follow Him with our lives, fearing God looks a lot lie that. We know God is still all-powerful, but yet He is all-loving at the same time.

Tonight at Kairos Roots, I heard it put this way. Fearing God means being in awe and even somewhat afraid of the God of almighty power, yet still trusting His heart and believing what He has promised toward us.

It means that God is not one of your priorities. He is your only priority and everything else gets rearranged around Him. It means that He impacts and influences every decision you make, everything you do, and everywhere you go.

Those who believe in God in an academic way will have different priorites than someone who knows and fears and loves God. The one will turn to God only as a last resort when every other measure has failed, but the one will always have a teachable spirit, ready to change even if it means pain or loss of pride or reputation.

Once again, I admit that I don’t have this fully figured out. I learn so much every day and have to unlearn so much at the same time. I see different aspects of faith and what God looks like when I’m around different kinds of people, so my view of faith and God is always getting bigger and deeper.

I do know that I for one choose to fear God, to have proper awe and respect for the Author and Creator of Everything, because that leads to wisdom that leads to a life that has purpose and meaning. I don’t know about you, but these days, I need all the wisdom I can get.

 

Life Together: A Review of Sorts

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I just finished reading Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a short book on Christian community and fellowship. Basically, to sum the book up in one sentence:oh, oh, we need each other (borrowed from Sanctus Real).

I found this observation to be very interesting. We can’t truly be in community and fellowship unless we’re comfortable being alone. If we’re always needy and clingy when it comes to others, we hinder true communion. But if we come out of a healthy self-awareness, we add to the fellowship rather than drain it.

Also, we can’t truly be alone without being in community. Even when in solitutude, we carry our brothers and sisters with us in our hearts and their prayers carry us. The whole Lone Ranger/Marlboro Man/go-it-alone type Christian is a myth that is exposed in the first storm we face.

I thought this quote from Bonhoeffer perfectly describes the freedom from truly being in open and honest community with others:

“The most experienced psychologist or observer of human nature knows infinitely less of the human heart than the simplest Christian who lives beneath the Cross of Jesus. The greatest psychological insight, ability, and experience cannot grasp this one thing: what sin is. Worldly wisdom knows what distress and weakness and failure are, but it does not know the godlessness of man. And so it also does not know that man is destroyed only by his sin and can be healed only by forgiveness. Only the Christian knows this. In the presence of a psychiatrist I can only be a sick man; in the presence of a Christian brother I can dare to be a sinner. The psychiatrist must first search my heart and yet he never plumbs its ultimate depth. The Christian brother knows when I come to him: here is a sinner like myself, a godless man who wants to confess and yearns for God’s forgiveness. The psychiatrist views me as if there were no God. The brother views me as I am before the judging and merciful God in the Cross of Jesus Christ.”

Dollhouse: The TV Show and My Thoughts From It

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Dollhouse was a fantastic show with a very unique concept that ended way too soon.

The concept was that people “volunteered” to have their own memories and personalities erased and became blank slates that could be fitted with other personality imprints to be lovers, assassins, companions, or whatever else the very, very rich and well-conntected clientele wanted.

The concept is technologically far-fetched, but in some ways it happens on a daily basis.

People spend so much time trying to be what other people want them to be, to fit the image that parents or spouses or significant others put on them, that they too often forget who they really are.

Maybe you became someone else to please a boyfriend or girlfriend and gave away something precious to you. Maybe you became someone you used to dislike to gain the approval of so-called “friends” who wouldn’t have liked you for you.

Maybe you have a whole collection of masks that you wear during the week: the pious one for Sunday, the ambitious one for Monday through Friday, the anything-goes one for Saturday night . . . . until you feel completely fragmented.

1 John 1:12 says regarding Jesus, ” But whoever did want him, who believed he was who he claimed and would do what he said, He made to be their true selves,       their child-of-God selves.”

The way to get rid of the masks and the role-playing is to let Jesus tell you who you really are. After all, He’s the one who saw you in your mother’s womb and knows you intimately, more than you know yourself.

In Him, you find your true identity as a child of God and find your true purpose and meaning in being a part of what He is doing in turning the upside-down world right side up again.

I’ve said it before, but no matter what names anyone else has called you or even what you’ve called yourself in anger and frustration, the only name that ultimately matters is the name God in Jesus has given you and calls you now– BELOVED.

May you and I live in that reality and show our world the way out of the dollhouse.