friendship

Things I Love 3: The Trilogy of Terribly Named Blogs

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island hammock

I continue with my list of things that I love, things that may not seem like such a big deal, but are present and daily reminders of the goodness of God in a thousand small ways. I will pick up where I left off with #57.

57) Not feeling the need to be friends with everyone so you can have deeper friendships that have more meaning.

58) When you hear a sermon that speaks directly to you and feels like it was written specifically for you.

59) All the black and white episodes of The Andy Griffith show.

60) A well-timed pun.

61) Finally being comfortable in my own skin.

62) Being able to laugh at my own goofiness and not be bothered by the fact that I’m a goober 99% of the time.

63) That all the future promises of God are as good as done.

64) GPS that keeps me from getting lost on these hopelessly and gloriously confusing roads in and around Nashville.

65) That  nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever separate me from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

66) Taking all my size 34 jeans to Goodwill because they’re way too big for me now.

67) Scottish, Irish, and British accents.

68) The fact that I’m taller than Tom Cruise.

69) People who get me.

70) That the people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter.

71) Reading through The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings every single year.

72) Ditto for The Hobbit.

73) My very,very red New Balance running shoes that are super-duper lightweight.

74) Anything Patty Griffin has ever or will ever record– even if it’s singing through the phone book alphabetically.

75) That no one is beyond the reach of God’s love and that it is never too late to start over.

76) The movie Elizabethtown– and anyone who has actually seen it and appreciates it the way I do.

77) Wearing my red chucks, i.e. my very red vintage-style Chuck Taylor Converse high tops.

78) Any worship song by Hillsong, Kari Jobe, or Chris Tomlin.

79) A good quote from Mother Teresa.

80) That I promise in the future I will try to think of better titles for these blogs.

Jay Gatsby and the Great Hope

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image

Right now, I am overwhelmed by the scent in the spring breeze. It’s at once both sweet and sad, like the memories of a past that won’t ever return. It’s also hopeful, like  the promise of better days to come. I’m feeling both right now.

I’m letting go of a friendship because it’s not working. She doesn’t want to be friends, or at least doesn’t appear to want to, so I am bowing out gracefully. I will still pray for her and wish her the best and be pleasant, but it’s time to step aside. I will be one less guy friend in her life. But I’m still thankful for the time we were friends. And hopeful for the future.

There’s a quote in the movie The Great Gatsby that I love. The narrator, Nick Carraway, describes Jay Gatsby as the most hopeful man he’s ever known. He goes on to say that he will likely never meet someone again with that rare gift of hope.

That’s what I want said about me. That I never gave up hope in anyone, but kept on believing the best in everyone. Because that’s what God did for me. He’s never given up hope in me that I will become what he made me to be. He’s never given up working on me, slowly and steadily.

So I’m still hopeful. My hope isn’t in a predetermined future but in the God who’s already there. To him, tomorrow is now. He’ll still be there when I get there. So I can let today be enough and not let tomorrow’s concerns worry my mind.

I wish I could bottle the scent of the night air. But that would spoil it. Part of the joy is the surprise. I’m sure someone somewhere could figure out a way to make a perfume or a air freshener that reminded me of tonight, but it wouldn’t be the same.

So I’m reminding you to keep hoping in the goodness of God. Just as surely as day follows night, so you will see the goodness of God in the land of the living.

Vanilla Blonde Roast Coffee and Thoughts of Marriage

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starbucks

I officially had my very first cup of non-blended coffee. It was a grande vanilla blonde roast, thank you very much. And yes, I felt ever so grown up drinking it. I may actually turn into a mature grown-up person one day, scary as that thought may be.

Then I got to thinking about marriage. Me the single guy thinking about marriage? Yep.

For years, I felt I couldn’t get married because I felt I’d never be mature enough or ready for all the responsibilities. Now I think maybe those are the very reasons that I’m ready.

I know I will need Jesus in my marriage for it to have even a ghost of a chance for success. I know I will need his strength daily to be the kind of husband and father I need to be. I know how weak and foolish I can be on my own strength.

Maybe the greatest folly going into a marriage is thinking that you’re ready for it. Maybe it’s when you think you can handle the biblical roles of husband and father that you’re most prone to the consequence that follows the sin of pride– namely, a great fall.

I’m not saying I will get married tomorrow or next week. I’ve left that in God’s hands. But I no longer believe that I CAN’T be a good husband or father. I can’t, but Jesus in me can.

I don’t want a typical American marriage. I don’t want to settle for normalcy. I don’t just want to plan for my wedding (and yes, I want to be a part of that); I want to plan for a lifelong marriage. I want a marriage where my wife and I serve together better than we ever could apart. I want a marriage that has a kingdom mission and purpose. I want my marriage to be a living witness to how great the love of Christ is for His bride, the Church.

And I know that I can’t begin to do that on my own. I can’t begin to dream of that on my own. It will take as much of Jesus flowing through me and out of me as I can humanly stand– and then some. It will take me being completely consumed until all that remains is Christ in me, the hope of glory.

All that from one cup of coffee. I may be up until 5 am, but right now I’m feeling mighty fine. Just think what kind of blogs I’ll write when I get hold of a venti cup of coffee.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in a While

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“You are the butter to my bread, you are the breath to my life” (from the movie Julie & Julia).

I blogged a few days ago about a magical movie moment at Best Buy. I’m beginning to realize that that girl is probably not you. In fact, I sincerely doubt I’ll ever see her again.

But one thing she did that I’m forever grateful for is to help me believe in myself again. Specifically, she helped me to believe that I could be desirable and attractive to the opposite sex. Not in a logical in-my-head kind of way, but in a very real, in-real-life kind of way.

I had even begun to doubt you would ever come my way, but now I believe in that again. I believe that even if it takes a miracle for us to meet, God has plenty of experience and practice and miracles and it’s really true that what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for him,

There are still some fuzzy parts. I don’t know who you are or what you look like. I don’t know when or how we’ll meet. I don’t know where I’ll be. But I do know that wherever you are will be my home.

I know that there will be times when we won’t be “in love,” but we will still love each other, because love isn’t a feeling as much as it is a choice, an action, an active verb. Love even means loving when you don’t feel like it. Going through the motions of love sometimes until the feelings of love return.

I do hope there are moonlit walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. I hope for fireworks and also for quiet moments. I can’t wait to feel you lying next to me, sleeping while I’m still not able to fall asleep over the wonder that you belong to me and I belong to you and that we both belong to Jesus.

Some days, you are harder to see than others, but my hope isn’t in you. It’s in God. Period. I hope you will love me, but I hope you will love Jesus more. I hope to love you, but not half as much as I hope to love Jesus. And I know neither of our loves will even begin to touch the love of the Father for each of us.

That’s what I’m hoping for.

 

Choosing Joy

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Maybe you’ve already heard this. If you have, skip to the next paragraph. If not, then allow me to illustrate the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is based on circumstances, or on what happens. Happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, as do all feelings, and can be affected by any number of things, including the weather, bad burritos, headaches, etc. Joy is a state of mind that can exist regardless of what’s going on around you. But you have to choose it.

So I choose joy. I choose to be joyful. I choose to see that I am blessed. I choose to see that I’m not entitled to anything and that no one owes me anything. Any good in my life is strictly a byproduct of God’s grace.

Joy doesn’t gloss over difficulties and pretend that hardships don’exist. Joy sees beyond those obstacles to the great future God has promised to those who love him and are called according to his promises. Joy knows that while the problem looks big, God is bigger than the problem. Joy rests in the ultimate certainty that God wins in the end and everything wrong will be put right.

It really isn’t my joy. The verse says “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” I take that to mean that God’s perfect joy, that joy that is limitless and boundless, can be mine. It can sustain me when my willpower is gone, when I’m weakest, when I am powerless to do anything for myself.

So I’m choosing the joy of the Lord every single day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. In other words, in every waking moment I make the conscious effort to take hold of that joy and make it mine. I hope you will, too.

 

What You Can’t Do (And What You Can)

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I have gathered a collection of some observations that I’d like to share with you. Most of them fall into the “duh” category, but sometimes we need those basic reminders. Okay, I do.

1) You can’t catch up on a bad night of sleep in one night. It’s not like if you only got 2 hours of sleep that you can sleep 14 hours the next night and be back to your average of 8. First of all, I’d be a zombie after 14 hours of sleep. Second, I’d still be tired. Just a very tired zombie.

2) You can’t repeat the past (regardless of what Jay Gatsby says). The only way to do that would be for you to go back to who you were then, which is impossible. Also, everyone else in that scene would have to revert back to who they were then, too. You see the problem? Besides, what lies ahead, what God has for you, is way better than anything in your past.

3) You can’t make people be friends with you if they don’t want to be. You can be a friend for your part, regardless of whether that friendship is returned or not.

4) You can’t succeed if you don’t try. You aren’t guaranteed success if you try, but you are 100% destined to fail if you fail to try. Oooh, that should be cross-stitched and hung on somebody’s wall. That was good.

5) You CAN trust God at all times at any point in your life to get you through anything. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a choirboy or a saint. The key is asking for help. The key is acknowledging your need and God’s vast supply.

6) You CAN trust God’s perfect timing. It may not be according to your timetable, but it will absolutely come when you need it most. And most likely when you’re least expecting it or looking for it.

7) You can’t be whatever you want to be and you can’t do anything you put your mind to (like me wanting to dunk on a 10-foot basketball goal). But you CAN be exactly what God created you to be and you CAN fulfill the purposes he created you for.

More reminders to come later.

The Story of Boaz and God’s Perfect Timing

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I heard a different perspective on the book of Ruth tonight at Kairos. It might as well have been directed solely at me, because it was perfect for where I am right now in my life.

Boaz was a righteous man. He did everything right, or at least he tried to, but nothing ever seemed to go his way. He had just about given up on finding a Mrs. Boaz. He probably settled for just being friends with the women in his life. Maybe he had a few relationships that started off where she seemed to be a good friend but grew more distant and guarded toward him as time progressed. Maybe he even got defriended on facebook for unknown reasons.

Maybe Boaz was a hard worker. He put in his 8 hours a day and gave his 110%, but still got downsized when the company wanted to increase its profit margin. Maybe he couldn’t find a job, even with all his education and experience, and felt like no one wanted what he had to offer.

Boaz never stopped trying to do the right thing in the right way, but probably wondered what the point was sometimes. It didn’t seem that he would ever catch a break. It seemed that his opportunity had passed.

I can relate.

The beautiful thing about God is that he doesn’t work according to a calendar. He doesn’t work according to my schedule or my timetable. Just because God doesn’t deliver by a specific date that I had marked on my calendar doesn’t mean that he never will. In fact, God has a way of dreaming bigger dreams for me than I could possibly imagine and what he gives in his own way and in his own time turns out to be much better than what I could have possibly ever have expected or hoped for.

The questions I’m asking are these: am I willing to trust in God’s moment of Kairos, that opportune moment of time he has for me, enough to be preparing for it now? Do I believe enough to act on it? Does my faith in God depend on him meeting my expectations and deadlines or is his own goodness enough for me to keep believing?

Boaz found Ruth. Interestingly enough (according to my own interpretation), Ruth initiated the relationship. She’s the one who got dressed up and went and laid down beside him. She’s the one who asked him to “cover me with your wings,” which I believe in ancient Hebrew culture was a way of proposing marriage. On a side note, when God says that he will cover us with his wings, it’s more than just keeping us safe. God is saying he will be a husband to us and we will be his bride.

I don’t know that even Boaz, or  Ruth for that matter, realized exactly how big God’s plans for them were. Out of their marriage came a great-grandson named King David, who himself had a great-grandson whose name is Jesus.

If Boaz hadn’t been ready or had really and truly given up, what would have happened. If Ruth hadn’t shown up or simply been passive, would we have had a Savior?

Thankfully, Boaz was ready and so was Ruth. The question for you is this: will you be ready when your moment comes?

Fear and Faith

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I’m not alone when I say that I have known fear and anxiety. Lately, I’ve heard several of my friends talk about their own fears and worries. I’m pretty sure that everybody deals with fear on some level.

But the question of the day is this: will you let fear run your life or will you step out in faith? Will you put your foot out into the air, not knowing if there will be ground underneath for it to land on? I know your mind just went to that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Mine did. That’s exactly what the step of faith looks like. It means either God comes through or you will crash and burn.

I think for a lot of people, their fear of failure is stronger than their desire for success. They want to avoid failing more than they want to succeed, and the result is that they will fail from not trying. Failing is not failure, but not trying is.

I truly believe that God reveals himself as we obey. As we can take those steps of faith, God knows we are ready to handle a much greater revelation of himself. We know much more of God’s ability to come though in the clutch when we go out on a limb for him.

So my advice is to do what you’re afraid of. Ask her out. Apply for that job. Make that call to your estranged friend. Share your faith with a co-worker. Quit that dead-end job and pursue your dream.

God will honor you. He hasn’t failed you yet and he’s not about to. Remember, as I heard recently, that if God is calling you out, he has already given you the victory there. You only have to step out and claim it.

Perfect, complete, mature love, i.e. the love of God, casts out fear completely.

Ghosts

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stpauls

 

I was feeling burdened about some issues, so I stepped inside one of my favorite places on earth, St. Paul’s Espiscopal Church, a very old church building located in the heart of downtown Franklin. Being in that place always brings me peace and I can be still and silent and just be.

I pulled out one of the kneelers and got on my knees and unburdened myself before God. I let it all go. I don’t know if it will work out like I want it to or not, but I do know that I felt a peace about it for the first time in a while. Then I simply listened.

It may have been the creaky floorboards settling, but to my romanticized imagination, it sounded like echos of past worshippers. Ghosts of people who came to this place and found their own peace.

I felt that I was not alone. Not because of ghosts, but because I knew that God was there with me.

I know now that I have to let my situation go. I can’t fix it. As much as I try to “help” God out, I would only make things worse. So I have to back off and let God do what only God can do. It’s completely in his hands now.

I don’t know how long I knelt there, listening to the noises around me. I left my phone in my pocket the whole time.

I love the fact that God didn’t wait until I got my act together to come to me. He found me, broken as I was, and is loving me to wholeness. Even though I sometimes still live out of fear and doubt, he never once has abandoned me. In those times I felt most alone, he was closest of all.

That’s what I love about God. Every other religion is about how to get to God, but Christianity (not the religion, but the relationship with Jesus Christ) is about how God came to us and found us before we even thought about looking for him.

I’m so glad he found me.

 

Friends

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As I’ve stated many times before, I am still trying to figure out this whole friendship thing. Sometimes I do good, sometimes . . . not so much. I’ve had good friends who I still count as friends and I’ve had some that I probably creeped out a little and who aren’t as friendly to me anymore.

I’ve learned in my life not to beat myself up over the friendships that I feel like I’ve botched. It’s not up to me to carry every single one of my relationships. God is more than able to keep people in my life that need to be there. It’s so much less stressful that I can relax and be myself and not have to worry if that will be enough for people to like me.

I’ve learned to always give the benefit of the doubt and to see my friends in the best possible light. Essentially, I’ve learned to give them grace, because God knows I sure need it. Often.

To my friends who have stuck around, I’m thankful. I don’t deserve you, but I’m glad to have you in my life.

To my friends who I’ve run off or weirded out, I hope you give me grace and a second chance. But I don’t blame you if you don’t. I am still very much a work in progress and though I am at a much better place mentally, spiritually, and physically than I’ve ever been, I still have some broken places and hidden hurts that surface from time to time.

To all my friends, whether you were only around for a few weeks or are still here after many years, thank you. You bless me more than you know. You encourage and support me, you pray for me, you keep me honest, you love me, and you show me Jesus every single day.

I hope one day I can finally be the friend that I’ve always wanted. And with God’s help, I believe I will be.