forgiveness

Still Thankful for Grace

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On the days when I’m feeling spiritually strong and I am seeking God with all my being, I need grace.

On the days when I barely make it out of bed before I fall into temptation and the rest of the day is spent digging out of one trap after the next, I need grace.

On the days when I hear God speaking to me though His word and I feel my purpose more clearly, I need grace.

On the days when I read a bunch of words that I forget the moment I put my Bible down, when I feel like my existance is pointless and futile, I need grace.

When I’m asking for forgiveness for something I’ve already done, or worse yet, something I’m about to do, I need grace.

No matter how faithful or faithless I’ve been in the last 24 hours, I still need grace.

I will need grace to sustain me and save me every single day for the rest of my life.

The more I see my need for grace, the more thankful I am for it and the more willing I am to extend it to others around me who need it as much as I do. The more I see that I just can’t do it alone and that I need brothers and sisters who will walk beside me and encourage, challenged, rebuke, and spur me on to continue in the faith.

May you see your need of grace all the more each day and come to be thankful that where you are weak, His grace is still very much sufficient. May you see that at the end of the day, all that you can say that got you through will have been grace and only grace. May you not only reach out to take it, but also to extend it to those around you who certainly don’t deserve it, but need it just the same.

Kinda like you and me.

What Maturity in the Faith Looks Like

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I had some random thoughts on the concept of maturity as a believer and what that should look like. Not that I’m so very mature or perfect, but I’m beginning to catch glimpses of what the finished product will look like.

It means that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I’m not wishing I were taller or shorter or better looking or 5 to 10 pounds lighter. It means I look in the mirror and really like the person looking back.

It means I am at peace with the silence and don’t need constant noises to distract me from my own inner monologue. It means I can be alone and not always have to be in a crowd or with people all the time.

It means that I am finding my completeness in Christ and not looking for something or someone to validate my existence or give my life meaning. I am not defined by a relationship or the lack thereof, by my income level, my living situation, or anything else but by what God has told me and who He has said I am.

It means there is not a person out there that I can’t learn something from. It also means that I never reach the point where I will finally have all the answers and have God figured out neatly into a tidy doctrinal box.

It means that I am strong enough to be weak, and more than that, to boast in my weaknesses, so that the power that raised Christ from the dead, that resurrection power, can work best in me.

It means I have learned that some of the most important words are “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Forgive me” and “I will choose to forgive you.” When speaking to God, the two most important phrases are “Help me” and “Thank you.”

It means that you look for the best in others and always give the benefit of the doubt and never, never, never, never give up believing in or praying for those in your life who are trying to do right.

It means that I can love as God loves, giving without expecting anything back. It means that I become a vessel always being filled with the love of Jesus and always running over and always overflowing on to those around me, so that God is truly loving those people through me.

Finally, it means that I am already who God said I would be. I am perfect and holy and righteous because He declared it to be so.

Ok, I lied. One more. It means that no matter how hopeless or bad or forlorn my situation looks like, I can know that it will turn out for the best, because God will finish what He started in me. One day, sooner than later, it will all have been worth it and there will not have been any part of my story that God didn’t turn into something beautiful.

 

Lessons from Joseph

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I’ve been reading in Genesis about the story of Joseph. If you’ve been around Sunday School when you were little, you probably know the story. Joseph is one of 12 brothers who was thrown in a pit, then sold into slavery. He ended up in a high-ranking officer’s home, until that officer’s wife tried to seduce him and then when her efforts failed, accused him of rape and had him thrown in prison.

The story concludes with Joseph’s ability to interpret dreams landing him in a very high position in the Egyptian government, second in command only to the Pharoah himself. His brothers come to him in the midst of a famine, hats in hand and begging for a handout. When they learn who he is, they’re sure he will have them enslaved. But then some of the most beautiful words in the Bible:

What you meant for evil, God meant for good.

The very worst the brothers could do to Joseph ended up being the means God used to bring about a chain of events that led to the saving of an entire nation. Joseph could have been bitter and vengeful– he had every right to be– but instead chose to be thankful and grateful and to forgive because He was able to see God’s hand at work in his life.

No matter what’s been done to you or what you’ve done to yourself, God can turn it into something beautiful. No matter how much of a wreck your life has become, it is never at any point past redeeming or saving.

Paul later stated that God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Even the very worst that people could dream of or inflict on you.

I love what one pastor said: “God can take the worst moment of your life and make it the first line of your testimony.”

That’s true. God took the very worst that humanity could do to His Son Jesus and turned it into the salvation of man. In fact, that was God’s plan all along to have His Son tried unjustly, beaten, mocked, and crucified so that those enemies could become sons and daughters of God.

Let Joseph remind you of the power of forgiveness and love to change anything. Let it remind you that with God, all things are possible.

More Random Things I’m Thankful For

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I mentioned some of the things I’m thankful for a couple of blogs back and I decided to add these to the list:

1. Getting to sleep in on certain Saturdays. It’s nice to be able to look at 5:30 am on the alarm clock and roll over and go back to sleep.

2. Good stories that make me lose track of time, whether they be in books or movies or TV shows.

3. That who I am is who God tells me I am, not who I or anyone else tells me I am. Not what I’ve done. Not my mistakes or failures or even my good deeds. I am God’s beloved.

4. That this is not one of those essays that has to be 500 words or else I get counted off on my grade.

5. The peace that transcends all understanding and comes when I least expect it and need it most.

6. Grace.

7. That I know so many awesome people who have inspired me and challenged me and loved me and made me want to be more like Jesus.

8. That the best things in life are still free.

9. That when I press “publish” some little men inside my computer box will make this go out over that great and mysterious internet to people I may never meet but who may be inspired to find something of their own to be thankful for and find the God from whom all these blessings flow.

Real and Lasting Change

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I was reading in John 19 and a particular phrase caught my attention. I’d read it before and thought nothing of it, but for some reason, these particular words lept off the page at me: “Nicholas, who had first come to Jesus at night, now came in broad daylight”.

That may not mean much to you, but it meant the world to me. It was a reminder to me of the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to actually and truly change lives. It was a reminder that even old crusty theologians can be taught new tricks and come to see like a little child again.

This Gospel is the same that transformed 12 men from cowards who hid behind locked doors after Jesus’ death to courageous followers who each were willing to give up everything to follow Jesus and who paid heavy prices for their commitments.

This Gospel took a man who lied and betrayed Jesus to save his own skin to a man willing to die by cruxifiction upside down for the same Jesus.

This Gospel took a man who persecuted and killed in the name of religion and had much to boast about in his law-keeping abilities to a man who called himself “chief of sinners” and was willing to go through stoning, beatings, humiliations, prison and so much more for the cause of making the name of Christ known to the world.

The Gospel took me, someone who thought nobody could love and who didn’t think God could use or do anything with, and made me someone who is finding out that I am the beloved. I am the child of my Abba, who is very fond of me and can take my mustard seed of faith and move mountains with it.

When someone says they can’t change, don’t believe it. When someone says, you won’t ever change or you can’t change or it’s too late for you to change, don’t believe them.

I still believe and will always believe that with God, all things are possible. With God, you can change, or better yet, God can take the broken pieces of your heart and life and put them back together better than new. You won’t be a fixed or even a better person. You will be  a completely new creation.

Just ask the disciples. Just ask Peter. Just ask Paul. And just ask the dying thief on the cross moments before he died. It’s never too late to change. It’s never to late to start becoming who God meant for you to be. All you need to start is your YES to Jesus.

The rest will be history.

 

Who Believes In You?

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Maybe you’ve had the kind of day where all your mistakes pile up and come crashing down on you like an avalanche. Maybe you feel buried underneath all the weight of your mistakes and bad decisions and failures. Maybe you believe in your heart that you’ve screwed up one too many times and exhausted all your grace cards.

Maybe some of the people in your life have quit believing in you or that you will ever amount to anything. Maybe your friends have quit believing in you and moved on. Maybe your family quit believing in you that there is any hope left that you will ever amount to anything. Maybe you quit believing in yourself.

I am here with some very good news.

God still believes in you. God hasn’t quit believing in you nor will He ever. He believes in what He’s doing in you, in the work He started so very long ago, before you were even born or were even a glimmer in your parent’s eye.

When you’ve given up hoping and believing that you will ever amount to anything, God knows that when He’s done with you, you will look just like Jesus. When you’ve just about thrown in the towel on all your hopes and dreams for a better future, God still has dreams for you that are so much bigger than the wildest, craziest dreams you ever dared to dream for yourself

When you’ve lost all hope, remember that God invented hope. As long as God is alive and on your side, you always have hope. Not a wishful thinking, “I hope my team wins on Sunday” kind of hope, either. This hope is as sure as the promises God made to you, and as certain as the God who made them.

God believes in you. God loves you more than your mind will ever be able to comprehend. No matter what anyone else tells you, no matter what you have told yourself in the darkness of your room when you’re alone, God speaks a better word. His word trumps any other word ever spoken to or about you.

And this is His word to you now: I believe in you and I am very fond of you and when I’m done, you will be everything I meant for you to be. You will be just like Jesus.

Turning 40: A Retrospective Look at My Past

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According to my iffy math skills, I have 49 more days left of my 30’s. Then I turn the dreaded 4-0. But according to Facebook, I have nothing to worry about. I’m supposed to die when I’m rollerblading at 95 and get hit by a car, based on the wisdom of a facebook application I used once. Apparently, my roller blading braking skills will still be non-existent 46 years later.

When I was in my 20’s, I knew a lot more than I do now. At least I thought I did. At that age, it’s very easy to confuse knowledge with wisdom. It’s very easy to have a faith that’s either all head-knowledge or almost solely emotion-based. But I digress. I had very definite ideas about theology and doctrine and dating (even though I didn’t date, which is probably why I was against it).

In my 30’s, I found out I knew less that I thought I did and was certain about even less. My black and white world suddenly had room for some gray areas. I still held to the essential basics of the faith, but I was able to live and let live over disagreements and not feel the need to win every argument or prove my side every time.

Now, I see more than ever my great need for God. I see more than ever what I would be like apart from the grace of God and what I see scares me. I see my need for grace every single day.

I have been learning forgiveness for others, but primarily for myself. I have learned how to fail gracefully and learn from it. I have learned to listen to my family and my friends and my brothers and sisters in the faith. I have learned to look for Jesus in those around me and when I find it, to imitate what I see.

Have I succeeded? By the world’s standards, probably not. But by God’s standards, I think so. I believe more and more every day that if you have survived up to this point and you’re still standing, that’s success. If you fall down more times than me when I tried to roller blade and get back up each time, that’s success.

I don’t know what the 40’s will teach me, but I’m ready for whatever God has for me. It may not be what I expect. In fact,  I can almost guarantee that what God has for me will be nothing like I thought it would be, but way better than I could have hoped for.

And it will be so much more than worth the wait.

A Place Where You Belong

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Sometimes, you feel like you just don’t belong or fit in. Kinda like when you’re the odd single in a group of couples or when everyone is talking with someone else and you’re stuck talking to the pet hamster, whose communication skills could use a little work.

Many have what is known commonly as “square-peg-itis”, where you feel like a square peg in a round hole most of the time. No matter where you go, you feel as though you’re not wanted or worse, that no one even knows you’re there at all.

That’s what I love about the body of believers known as the Church. That’s a place where you belong. That’s a place you fit, because you were made to fit and play a role that only you can play. God gave you unique combination of talents and gifts and passions that no one else has and that can serve the Kingdom of God.

The body of Christ often gets treated as a business or an organization, but it’s not supposed to be that way. The body of Christ is a family. The kind of family where you’re always welcomed with open arm. The place where you’re no longer a stranger or a visitor, but a fellow pilgrim and a friend and– best of all– family.

This is the place where you can be yourself and take off the mask. This is the place where you can mess up and get a second chance, where you can blow it big time and find grace, where griefs are shared, sorrows are divided, and joys are multiplied.

A place where you find out who you are, your true self, and where you become all that God in Christ made and meant for you to be. Who wouldn’t want to be in a place like that?

Sadly, the Church doesn’t often look like that. But that’s what God calls her to be. And that’s what she is in her finest moments. That’s what will be our most effective witness and powerful way of communicating just how good and great our God is.

God, may we be one just as You are one. May we love each other as You loved us and so love people into Your kingdom. May we be always be a community where our doors are always open and where no one is left out, but everyone is welcome and belongs and fits in.

Amen.

Goodwill Finds

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I am fast becoming a Goodwill junkie. I love going in those stores, not knowing what I’ll find, and walking away with a few unexpected treasures. Like today, for instance. I went in looking for music and came out with a little stained glass piece that has Romans 8:31 on it. Well, it looks like stained glass to my untrained eye. I went in with visions of finding Amy Winehouse CDs and found something I didn’t expect to find, but ended up being much more meaningful to me than what I was looking for.

I think life is a lot like that.

Sure, you can live your life in safe mode. That’s where you always hang out with the same people and go to the same places. That’s where you love people who are loveable and and invest in the friendships with people who are popular and know the secret handshake and password. Those in the know and on the go, so to speak.

That’s fine, but you never find any unexpected treasures there.

Sometimes, you have to go out of your way to find that treasure hidden in a field that’s worth more than everything you own put together. Sometimes, you have to get out of your safe life to find the most satisfying and rewarding moments.

Maybe the treasure is found in the friends who are on the outside with the in-crowd, but who have deep wells of wisdom when it comes to walking with Jesus. Maybe it’s in serving those who won’t say thank you, or giving to those who will never pay you back.

Maybe it’s in giving that someone a second chance after they screwed up the first and finding that forgiveness is its own reward.

I think God deliberately puts the most precious things and people and places and moments in the most ordinary disguises so that they will mean that much more to us when we find them and see them for their true worth and value. It’s a fearful thing to step out in faith that way, but the risk is always way more than worth it.

I can think of a few friends who have turned out to be golden. My family is the same way. Those memories I cherish most happened when I was expecting something else (or not expecting anyhing at all).

Sometimes, when you go digging through the trash, when you go to the lowliest places, sometimes you will look into the face of the broken and hopeless and outcast and find Jesus there.

The One Jesus Loved Dearly

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I’m in the middle of reading through the Gospel of John. That probably would earn me bonus points until I point out the fact that I am reading out of The Message version. So much for the bonus points. FYI Just kidding about the whole bonus points thing. You only get bonus points if you can read out of the original Greek.

In John 13, John refers to himself as “the disciple Jesus loved.” I really like how the Message renders it– “the one Jesus loved dearly.” That got me thinking. How do I see myself most of the time and how do you see yourself most of the time?

As the one who can’t go through a single day without making a stupid mistake?

As the one who opens his or her mouth and inserts his or her foot repeatedly?

As the one who runs friends off and who always hears about great parties but is never invited to any?

As the one who has already blown your 2012 resolutions to smithereens?

As the one who couldn’t save the marriage or stay clean or hold back the words spoken in anger that drove someone away or keep the vows you made?

I could go on and on and on. The list is endless. I’m sure you could add many to the list.

John the Apostle could have probably added his own list of names– such as the one who lost his temper a lot, or the one who wanted Jesus to smite those Samaritans, or the one who deserted Jesus in his hour of greatest need.

Yet the one John chooses to call himself, the one he refers to himself as, is the one Jesus loved dearly.

That’s you. Once Jesus found you and saved you, you were no longer owned by any of the names you gave yourself or the names your father or mother or anyone else gave you. Your identity was changed forever to the Beloved, the one Jesus loves dearly.

It’s good to remind yourself of this fact when you have screwed up for the 55th time and it’s not even lunchtime. It’s good to remember this when you have spoken words that you immediately wish you could pull back and say differently. No matter what you’ve done, these words are still true and nothing you do will change that.

You are and will always be the one Jesus loves dearly.