feelings

Blog #1,689

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“Let nothing disturb thee;
Let nothing dismay thee:
All thing pass;
God never changes.
Patience attains
All that it strives for.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.”
— “Poem IX,” from the Complete Works St. Teresa of Avila (1963) Vol. 3, edited by E. Allison Peers

I couldn’t think of a better title for this blog, so I went with “Blog #1,689.” Not the most creative title ever, but hopefully the content will make up for it.

I’m thinking some of you out there are hanging onto faith by a thread. You’re like the father of the possessed boy who cried out to Jesus, “I believe. Help my unbelief (Mark 9:24).” You have a faith that barely qualifies as mustard seed-sized. But that is enough.

It’s not about how big and grand your faith is but about how big and grand God is. It’s not the size of your faith but the size of the object of your faith that counts, and God is plenty big. As in bigger than your problems, bigger than your doubts, bigger than your sometime unbelief, bigger than you. God has been, is, and will continue to be enough.

So I’m praying for you that you will see what God can do with just the tiniest bit of faith and consent. I’m praying you will be dazzled and amazed at how God comes through for you, almost never in the way or place or time you expected but always with perfect timing in the perfect place in the perfect way.

“Almighty, eternal and merciful God, whose Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path, open and illuminate our minds, that we may purely and perfectly understand your Word and that our lives may be conformed to what we have rightly understood, that in nothing we may be displeasing unto your majesty, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen” – (the daily morning prayer of Ulrich Zwingli, from Gregg Alison’s “Introduction to Historical Theology).

 

Real Love

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Love. It gets talked about quite a lot these days. We talk about how we love our spouses and children. We also say how much we love oreos or vanilla ice cream. We use the same word for the people whom we pledged to spend the rest of our lives with as we use for food groups.

The Greek language has four words for love. I won’t get all technical on you, but basically those words in English are companionship (between people or even between a person and his or her dog), friendship, erotic/sexual/romantic love and unconditional love. The last kind is a kind that only originates from God and while we may say we love others with this kind of love, it’s really God loving those people through us.

Love is more than a feeling. It’s definitely more than the sappy lyrics to any of the multitude of syrupy love songs you’ll hear on the radio. Real love is an action, a choice, a verb. It means you always act toward the best interests of the beloved, whether you feel like it or not.

If love is a feeling, then it won’t last, because no feeling lasts forever. But if love is a choice, then you can always keep choosing to love and keep choosing to act lovingly even when you don’t feel love.

 

 

More Bob Dylan on the Brain

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

3992197_165

“Oh, the tree of life is growing
Where the spirit never dies
And the bright light of salvation shines
In dark and empty skies

When the cities are on fire
With the burning flesh of men
Just remember that death is not the end
And you search in vain to find
Just one law-abiding citizen
Just remember that death is not the end
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end” (Bob Dylan)

I’m still on my Bob Dylan kick. By now, I’ve listened to all my Dylan CDs up to Oh Mercy, the Daniel Lanois-produced 1989 album that marked a sort of artistic comeback for him in the eyes of many.

I also know most people consider this a low point in Dylan’s career. If you go to amazon.com or any other music site, you’ll find that most people revile such albums of his as Empire Burlesque, Knocked Out Loaded, and Down in the Groove.

I don’t think they’re bad albums. I have to admit the songs aren’t quite up to the standards of his amazing output in the 60’s, but I think that if these albums had anybody else’s name on them, they might be looked at differently. I also think that part of the problem is that the CDs are poorly mixed (in this writer’s opinion) and Bob’s vocals get buried in the accompaniments sometimes. I definitely think remastering these albums would help immensely.

But I also think that many of these songs, although they are good, aren’t just that memorable. They don’t linger in my mind like “Blowin’ in the Wind” or “My Back Pages” do.

I’d say that there is still a fair amount of spirituality in these albums. It’s not so overtly stated as in his Christian albums, but it’s there for those who know what to listen for.

Oh Mercy is probably my favorite album he did in the 80’s, largely in part to one Mr. Lanois who knew what he was doing when he produced this album.

I still have eight albums to go. I also must confess that I don’t own every single album of his (gasp!) I’m actually missing albums entitled Self-Portrait, Dylan (not the one with the red cover), one or two live albums, and the newest release– Strangers in the Night, an album of standards made famous by Frank Sinatra and others.

More to come later. Stay tuned.

 

 

Love on a Perfect Tuesday Evening

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

image

I sat outside Chick-fil-A with my chocolate cookie and sweet tea and enjoyed me some night air. It was as perfect a night as you will find on a mid-July Tuesday evening in Nashville. Normally during this point of the year I’m sweating like a chicken that’s about to be Sunday dinner.

Kairos was great as usual. Mike Glenn spoke from 1 John 3 about love being more than kind words. I’m convinced more than ever that love is a CHOICE. Feelings come and go, but you can still choose to love. You can choose to serve in love and give in love.

The best definition of true love is seeking the best for the beloved. Even if the best isn’t the easy choice. Or what the beloved prefers.

Love is a three nails and a cross. Love is sacrifice. Love isn’t about getting your own way but giving up your rights.

If I’m honest, I don’t love well. Very few of us do. Apart from God, no one can truly love at all. We love because God loved us first and showed us how.

That’s where I am on this Monday, July 15, at 9:55 pm. Learning to love by learning to be loved by the Maker of all loves.

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is still just to love and be loved in return.

Seasons

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

image

The writer of Ecclesiastes talked about there being a season for everything in life– a time to be born and a time to die, a time to laugh and a time to mourn, etc.

I’ve found that to be very true. Especially in my social life.

There have been times when I have constantly been around people and there are times when I’ve felt alone. There have been times when I felt very popular and times when it seemed like I was the only one not invited to all the social activities I was seeing plastered all over social media.

I’ve come to terms with that.

I am who I am, regardless of whether that makes me popular or not. I have friends who I still see on a regular basis and some that I don’t see nearly as much as I used to. Again, that’s okay.

It doesn’t matter who else knows me and knows where I am when God does. While it  would be nice to occasionally hang out with celebrities (and who hasn’t daydreamed about that?) and have some of them know your name, the best part of all is that the God of the universe not only knows your name but has it engraved on the palms of His hands.

That’s worth celebrating.

So maybe I spend a night or two alone while people I know are off having a grand time at places I wasn’t invited to. I’ll live. Things like that don’t bother me anymore.

It took a very long time for me to get to this point. I don’t claim to have fully arrived or to be 100% mature about all this, but I am so much further along than I was two years ago.

That’s the key– not so much looking at how far you have to go but seeing how far you’ve already come and the progress, no matter how small it seems, that you’ve made. That’s what really matters.

 

The Theology of Tired

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

image

Have you ever been somewhere and suddenly have the overwhelming feeling of being tired? Like you could go sleep for 18 hours straight?

I had that feeling tonight. I went from fine to tired in 0.6 seconds. At least, that’s what it felt like.

Sometimes when you’re tired, your mind can play tricks on you. It will tell you that you’re all alone, that no one really understands you– or really wants to. That maybe they’d be better off without you.

It’s easy to take small things that mean nothing– a particular turn of phrase or remark– and make it seem monumental.

You have to remind yourself that your brain doesn’t function at its best when you’re tired. Sometimes, the best thing– the most spiritual thing– you can do is physically rest. Take a nap. Go to bed early.

The longer you let those tired thoughts play out in your head, the more attractive they become. You can even be to the point of wanting to give up on everything and everybody for no good reason. All because you’re tired.

As I learned once and have mentioned before more than once, what you think and what you feel will lie to you, so you go with what you know.

You remember that God is faithful and He’s got His eye on you tonight. You’ll be alright in the end. And all those overblown scenarios that play out in your head won’t ever come to fruition.

God is in control. You’re not. That’s a very good thing.

Random Musings on a Sunday in May

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

may

I haven’t done one of these random blogs in a while, so I thought it was time. Also, I’m not exactly overflowing with brilliant ideas today.

First of all, I was reminded again how fallible we as humans are and how easily our relationships can be damaged or destroyed. So I have this to pass along to you– in case you’re tempted to write someone off, remember that one day you could be in their place. The way you treat them is the way someone else will treat you.

I’ve preached extending grace to others but haven’t always practiced what I’ve preached. I’ve learned that I can’t be friends with everybody and that not every friend is a friend for life. I do much better when I leave my relationships in God’s hands instead of trying to control and manipulate them myself (which incidentally never goes well. FYI).

Also, I’m glad it’s May. As much as I like winter and cold weather, I’m ready for a break from it. The forecast for the next few days looks lovely with temps in the 80’s and no rain in sight. For now.

I’d like to get back to Radnor Lake and Arrington Vineyards and anyplace else that’s outdoorsy. I am currently reviewing and accepting any offers for any of the previously mentioned venues.

I’m finally reminded yet again that the best place to be is in the center of God’s will. To have Jesus and nothing else is still better than to have everything except for Jesus. Kinda like having the whole world and losing your own soul. There’s something in the Bible about that.

I’m figuring this whole faith thing out on a daily basis, just like you are. Some days I do good, some days I just suck. But all the days I am covered by grace. Not a grace that excuses my bad behavior, but one that takes me as I am but won’t leave me that way. Grace that is making me more like the Giver of Grace.

Well, that’s my report for May. Look for another random and disconnected blog from me in the near future.

 

Expensive Mistakes, Shame, and other Random Tuesday Night Thoughts

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

elizabethtowncap

Have you ever made an expensive mistake?

Immediately, I think of the movie Elizabethtown and the character Drew Baylor. He created a shoe which ended up costing the company he worked for close to $1 billion. It was, in his words, a fiasco.

There’s a great line from the movie:

“As somebody once said, there’s a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is simply the non-present of success. Any fool can accomplish failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of mythic proportions. A fiasco is a folktale told to others, that makes other people feel more… alive. Because it didn’t happen to them.”

Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe your mistake wasn’t worth $1 billion. Maybe it was worth $10,000. Or maybe it just ruined a relationship. Or a reputation.

Maybe you feel the familiar nagging sensation of shame, never overpowering but always there, lurking nearby.

Tonight’s guest speaker at Kairos spoke of how two different people in the Bible dealt with shame in radically different ways:

Judas betrayed Jesus and ended up hanging himself, while Peter denied knowing Jesus and ended up hanging around. Not only that, the shame turned into an opportunity for God to use him in ways he probably never would have thought possible.

The speaker said something that I’ll never forget. He said something to the effect that Judas hung himself by his shame because he didn’t know that Jesus hung on the cross for his shame.

The cross means that shame has no more power over your (or my) life ever again. Shame has lost the power to speak into our lives because Jesus took those failures, those fiascos, those worst moments upon Himself on the cross. He took them to the grave, but when He arose on Easter morning, He left them behind, utterly defeated and powerless.

You are not defined by your fiascos or those moments of shame any longer. You are defined by what Jesus did for you and by who you are now in the power of His resurrection. You are defined as beloved child of God in whom He is well pleased.

Shame is all about your past. Jesus wants you to go forward and live in the future He has for you, not in that past any longer.

 

Easter Season Liturgy Part III

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

ko1

“Your light is the only light we need
as we travel through life’s mystery
Your word the only voice we hear
that still small voice that leads us
to the place where we should be
Your presence is the only company we need
as we walk this narrow road
Your fellowship the warmth we crave
to help us on our way
May the truth of Easter
The joy of Easter
And the blessings of Easter
Be with us this day and all days
AMEN”

“Almighty Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, instituted the Sacrament of his Body and Blood: Mercifully grant that we may receive it thankfully in remembrance of Jesus Christ our Lord, who in these holy mysteries gives us a pledge of eternal life; and who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever. Amen.”

It is Maundy Thursday, the night before Good Friday, when Jesus endured the sufferings and torture of the cross. It is on this night that He instituted the Lord’s Supper, also referred to as Communion or Eucharist.

On this night, He foreshadowed the brokenness of His own body with the bread and the pouring out of His blood with the wine. He gave the single command to “Do this in remembrance of me.

Regardless of whether you believe the elements are symbols or actually become the body and blood of Jesus, do this in remembrance of Me.

Not because you are sinless, but because you are forgiven, do this in remembrance of Me.

Not because we hope for victory, but because the victory has already been won, do this in remembrance of Me.

Come to the table, with hands open in a posture of submission, dependence, and obedience, and take these elements.

Do this in remembrance of Me.”

 

A Prayer for the Weak

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

image

Maybe this is your prayer tonight:

Lord, I feel like giving up tonght. It’s just not worth it anymore.

Whatever I’m desiring most seems always just out of my reach. Right now, it feels easier to quit holding on to that dream of mine.

I want to pray “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” but I don’t even have enough faith for that. I’m bankrupt when it comes to believing.

I’ve just about quit believing that I’ll ever get married. Or have children. Or that the children I do have will ever turn out right. Or that anyone will hire me. Or that I’ll ever be able to work in a place where I come alive instead of counting the hours and minutes until the weekend.

I feel like I’m completely screwing everything up. I don’t feel like anything I do matters or makes the tiniest bit of difference.

I do know that You’re still God. I do know that my impossibles aren’t impossible to You. In fact, they’re not even difficult for You.

I know You are truer than my feelings and though You seem so far away, You’re nearer to me than my next breath.

I don’t know how any of this will work out, but I know You will take care of me. Even if You deny my dreams, it’s only because they weren’t big enough for You.

I declare all these things with a faith that’s barely a blip on the radar screen. A faith that’s as small as a mustard seed. But still I declare.

So here’s me offering all I know of me to all I know of You. Take me and use me in whatever way You want. Let me know You’re near and let me feel in this moment how much You love me.

I surrender.