fear

The Substitute People

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

In my favorite movie of all time (insert shameless plug here), Elizabethtown, there’s a scene where one of the characters, Claire, tells another that they are substitute people. They fill in when the person you really wanted to be with isn’t around.

I know that feeling. I’ve felt like that in the past. Like the only reason someone would talk to me was because the person they really wanted to talk to was AWOL. I felt like I wasn’t anybody’s first choice.

I bet you’ve felt like that. It’s like being a part of that dreaded kickball selection process and it comes down to you and one other. It’s the humiliation of having the team captain pick the other person, which leaves you unpicked but automatically sent to the other team. Ahh, the agony and ecstacy of the glory days of kickball!

The good news of the gospel is that you are not a substitute person to God. He picked you, chose you before you were born, because He wanted you. Not because the person He really really wanted wasn’t available. He wanted you.

He had you on His mind when He went to that cross. He decided He’d rather go through hell for you than be in heaven without you. He thought you were worth dying for.

And the part that gets me every time. If if had only been you, He still would have gone through it all, just to win your heart. If it had been me, He would have suffered through Calvary.

Christianity shouldn’t be a somber occasion. It should be a joyous remembrance of how the Father is crazy for you. It should be day after day of unbroken gratitude that Jesus thought you were to die for.

Remember this always. You may not matter to some people and you may not think much of yourself some days, but you matter a whole lot to God every day. He’s got you tattooed on His hands and on His heart.

Thank you, Abba, that you really are very very fond of us!

The Name That Matters

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“You’re not who the world says you are. You’re not even the name you call yourself. Over and over again in the Bible, God gives people new names. You are who God says you are: beloved, chosen redeemed, ransomed, bride of Christ, people of God, family of God, little brothers and sisters. Children of God. Did you forget that? Remember who you are” (Mike Glenn, In Real Time).

Maybe you’ve taken on a name or two in your lifetime. Maybe a parent gave it to you. Maybe a so-called friend or acquaintance. Maybe it was you. Whatever the case, it’s how you define yourself.

Loser. Reject. Underachiever. Waste. Nobody. Killjoy. Stupid. Coward. Failure.

The list could go on. There are names on there that would make Martin Scorsese blush. The names that you carry with you like the infamous scarlet letter, the badge of shame for all to see.

I love the way Jesus doesn’t call you or me by those names. He gives us new names. When He calls, the names He gives us aren’t a reflection of the past and all we’ve screwed up. It’s a future God has promised for us that’s as good as done.

Victor. Overcomer. Overconqueror. Child of the King. Blessed. Beloved.

My favorite is Beloved. That’s the one I claim the most. I who was once unloveable am now the Beloved. I’m known for being loved supremely.

Let the new name Jesus gave you define you. Speak it over yourself. Believe in faith that the new names are who you are now. Not the old names.

If you forget who you are, Jesus will remind you gently. So will I. If you live out of your old names instead of your new ones, Jesus will whisper the new name in your ear until you hear it again for the first time.

After all, He’s not about to quit on you. If He went to all that trouble to have your name tattooed on His hand and on His heart, He’s sticking with you to the end. And beyond that.

His name is the name that matters.

My Prayer For You

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I pray for you, my friends, these things tonight:

That you can pray the prayer that asks for nothing but instead thanks God for what He’s given.

That you know deeply at the soul level how much your Abba really is fond of you.

That you can rest in the night and hear the voice of the Father God singing joyfully over you.

That you are baby-content as you feel the Everlasting Arms underneath that won’t ever let go.

That you will let go of all the shame and guilt that weigh you down and leave them at the Cross where they were paid for once and for all.

That you never stop being amazed and astounded at what God is doing in and through you.

That whatever God speaks to you and whatever He asks of you, that you’re only reply is “Here am I, Lord. Send me.”

That you forever declare your dependence on God and remember that His strength works best in your weakness.

That you know that you are in Good Hands.

When the Lights Go Out

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 6 Comments

lucynarnia

I was en route from Memphis recently, listening to a book on CD, as all well-seasoned travellers do. It was The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, book 5 of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It was read by Derek Jacobi, by the way, in case you were dying to know.

In the book, the Dawn Treader sails into an island of darkness. It’s a place where fear rules and all nightmares come to life. Lucy is at the top of the ship, watching as the crew tries vainly to escape. In her desperation, she says, “Aslan, if you ever loved us, help us now.” The answer to her prayer is an albatross who, as he flies by her, whispers, “Courage, dear heart,” in Aslan’s voice. He then leads them out into the sunlight.

I bet you’ve been in some dark places in your life. You’ve felt trapped in the valley of the shadow of death, where no light or hope can get through. You’ve been searching for a way out, but all you find is more darkness, more despair, more hopelessness.

You feel your circumstances will never get better. You fear that nothing will ever change. You come to believe that your worst-case scenario is due to come true any day now. Your faith is at a low ebb and your fears are cresting and crashing waves that swamp you.

There’s a voice, if you are still enough to hear it, that whispers the same words what it whispered to Lucy. “Courage, dear heart.” It says, “Hold on. Trust in Me in the darkness even when you can’t find Me there. I am with you, with My everlasting arms underneath you. I will never ever let go.”

Don’t believe that you feel or what you think, but what you know. Believe the same God who has proved Himself over and over and Whose word is true. Know that He is with you and for you in your darkness. Darkness may prevail right now, but joy is coming with the morning.

It’s Who You Know

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I’ve always thought it would be awesome to hang out with a celebrity. Maybe have a deep conversation with Bono or have tea with C.S. Lewis (this is my fantasy, so I make the rules and I can talk to famous dead people if I want to).

Since I moved to Nashville, I have had a few celebrity sightings. Heck, I even held the door open for Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman when they were walking out of Borders one time. She even said, “Thank you.” I think I spent the next 30 minutes walking around in a daze.

That’s good and all, but how about this? Who could I possibly meet or know that could ever be more important than the King of the Universe? Who could I ever talk to that would be higher up than the Creator of everything?

The beautiful part of the story is not that I know Him, but that He knows me. He knows my name. He knows absolutely everything I’ve ever done, good and bad. He knows the secret thoughts I keep that no one else knows about. He knows how many hairs are on my head.

Better still, He wants me. He wants me to talk with Him and to tell Him everything. He looked down and saw scrawny little me, destined to be the last one picked for kickball, and chose me. Not because He had to, but because He wanted to. He wanted me.

He loves me. He’s in love with me. He’s crazy for me. This God who has everything gave up everything to win my heart. The Great Romance of the ages is how God Almighty has wooed and won my affections.

He wants you, too. He sees you in your brokenness and bad choices and bitter thoughts and wants you. He knows those things you’ve done that you would give anything to undo and He wants you. He sees into the deepest, darkest part of your heart where you keep your secrets and lies and He wants you.

Christianity is not about avoiding bad sins. It’s not about not drinking or cussing or sleeping around. It’s not even about being moral and having godly habits. Christianity is simply that when you and I could not get to God, God came to us. Not to condemn us, but to change us by the most powerful element in the universe– love. It’s that God wants us to know Him.

The next time you’re tempted to fantasize about meeting celebrities, remember this. You can know the Greatest Person who ever lived. His name is Jesus and He loves you. Yes, as I’ve said many times before, your Abba is indeed very, very fond of you.

20 Years Later: Thoughts on Another Reunion

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Recently, I had my 20-year high school reunion. I guess that makes me old, huh? I don’t feel like I’m 20, much less that I’ve been out of high school for 20 years. Maybe it’s denial, but I don’t care.

I’ve been thinking about the whole weekend and I’ve had some thoughts I’d like to share.

1) No one should be defined by how they acted in high school. I know that I for one was ruled by fear and insecurities in high school and never really took any chances or got out of my tiny comfort zone. Sometimes meanness is just someone acting out of hurt or fear.

2) Grace is still a good thing. I know I need it, so I try to show it as much as I can. It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and believing that who you are isn’t always what you do. So I try to give a person a break when they don’t treat me right. It may be one small act of kindness that can change that person’s outlook.

3) I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I feel a lot like Joseph when I look back on how I was picked on and made fun of. God used it to shape me into who I am and I am not sorry it happened. If that’s what it took to get me to where I am, I am thankful for it.

4) People really do matter. Friendships matter. The only things that last aren’t what we’ve accumulated, but what we’ve sacrificed and given away. I’ve heard that the only currency on heaven is love.

5) 80% of success is showing up, or so I’m told. I think it’s higher than that. To be brave enough to show up and be yourself, warts and all, is success, no matter what happens after that. And to all those who missed out on the 20th reunion, I hope you are doing well and I hope to see you in 5 years.

6) Forgiveness is still a beautiful thing. Forgiving someone means that you are freed from the power they had over you by what they did to you. Forgiving means that you release that person from the expectation that they can fix what they did wrong. Sometimes the person you most need to forgive is yourself.

7) At the end of the day, only the love of God can get you though. It’s not being clever or resourceful or smart or crafty enough, because all those will fail. Only the arms of Jesus are strong enough to carry you through.

I hope to have more thoughts five years from now to share. Until then, I am thankful yet again for friendships that last and for memories that remind me of how good my God is.

 

Still Amazed

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I had a good conversation with a friend of mine at Starbucks recently. During the conversation, I had two thoughts.

1) I’m amazed that the person I’m talking to wants to have a conversation with me. I’m even more astonished that this person wants to be my friend. After overcoming a lifetime of low self-esteem and codependency, it’s still hard to grasp that I was who God was talking about when He looked at what He created and said, “It is very good.”

I have an even harder time believing that God wants anything to do with me, much less wanting to use me in any way. It blows my mind that He can take my meager offerings, like the two fishes and five loaves of bread, and use them to bless so many (usually in ways that I am completely unaware of at the time).

I’m astonished and amazed and grateful every single day.

2) If I can come from pretty much hating myself and thinking most everybody wanted nothing to do wih me to being able to hold normal converations, anyone can. If God can use me, He can use anybody. The God who heard the cries of His children in bondage in Egypt heard my cries in the middle of the night when I felt alone and abandoned. And He hears your cries, too.

I love this testimony and I’ve borrowed it for my own. I am just a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. That really is all you need to know about me. I’m just a vessel that God uses. Many times, I’m amazed at what God can do through cracked vessels like me.

Remember tonight that your Abba is very fond of you. He knows where you are and what you’re going through. He hears your cries, even when they have no sound. He heard you calling His name even when you can’t speak. He has His everlasting arms underneath you and He is singing over you. I hope you can hear it.

Mostly, I hope you never will cease to be amazed at what God does in and though and around you. I for one never will.

What Do I Know?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

What do I know? Apparently not much. I wake up every day and feel like I know less than I did before. It seems like I find out on a regular basis that there is so much more that I had no clue about. But I still know a few things. None of them are new or original, but I think I needed the reminders today.

1) Jesus still loves me like no other and thinks that I’m still to die for.

2) God’s not even remotely close to being done with me.

3) Sometimes blessings do come in disguises and answers to prayers rarely look like what you expected or come when you expect them to.

4) Cats are funny animals. Especially mine. She cracks me up all the time. She probably looks at me and thinks, “Dude, you seriously need a hobby or a girlfriend or something. Go away.”

5) Friends are the best. I never cease to be amazed at how Jesus speaks to me though my friends and how much of Him I see in them.

6) Family is good, too. Gotta give ’em props since they gave me life and all.

7) It’s still impossible to mess up so badly that you are beyond saving and too broken that God can’t fix you. God is still the best at making brokenness into something beautiful.

8) I don’t have to apologize for who God made me or for the way my life is unfolding. I don’t ever have to be ashamed of who I am or what I believe. I is good people.

9) Life is short. If you don’t stop every once in a while and look around, you could miss it. Ferris was right.

10) No matter how crappy the day was or how badly and how often you screwed up and put your foot in your mouth, tomorrow is a new day. It comes fresh with new mercies and the the faithfulness of God that just won’t quit. You never run out of second chances.

Words of Advice to Myself

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On the WAY-fm morning show, they were talking about something that caught my attention. The question came up: What would you say to your 16-year old self and what advice would you give? I immediately had some answers.

First, I would tell my younger self this. The next time you decide to go strutting around the mall thinking you’re all that and a bag of Doritos, remember to check your fly first. Because walking around with your fly wide open tend to lose you cool points. And no, the earth won’t open up and swallow you just because you really want it to.

Second, have better taste in music. I mean Wham, really? What were you thinking?

Most of all, I would say to myself, “You are ok. You are going to be just fine even though sometimes that seems impossible. You are good enough just the way God made you and you don’t have to pretend to be anybody else or be ashamed of yourself.

“Learn to laugh at yourself and take yourself less seriously. Take what others think and say of you with a grain of salt, but don’t believe everything. Know that you don’t have to always be so worried about what others think of you, because they are wondering what you think of them. They are scared, too.

The best thing I could tell you would be to love yourself as God loves you. He sees you and doesn’t see awkward, shy, and sometimes klutzy guy, but He sees someone worth dying for. He sees someone He would rather die for than live without. He looks at you with undying love. He’s very fond of you and wants you just as you are, right where you are, right now.”

Oh, and those parachute pants? Not a good idea.

 

A Prayer on a Good Day

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God, I had a good day today. Thank you. I found myself tuning in to Your voice more and in to my fears less.

Even on days like today, I realize that I need You just as much on the good days when everything goes right as on the bad days when it feels like I’m falling apart. I need You every waking moment, especially in those moments when I feel like I’ve got it under control and I can handle everything.

I read that self-discipline doesn’t lead to a continous prayer life nearly as much as realizing that I am poor in Spirit. I have nothing without you. I am helpless without You.

I know without You, my life will turn into a first-class fiasco.

Help me to remember that You are so much bigger than my little world. The truth is that You have invited me to be a part of something that is way bigger than me. Your plan involves people from every part of the world calling on the name of Jesus.

I am absolutely desparate for You. Fill every part of me with every part of You and use me however You will. Show me where You are working and help me to be the hands and feet of Jesus there.

Most of all, show me again how to come to You as a child, holding back nothing but bringing my messes to you. Remind me to come just as I am and not worry so much about cleaning myself up or polishing up my vocabulary or choosing what I think You want to hear.

On the days when I still listen to my fears, remind me that You have already conquered them. Help me to hear Your still small voice whispering my name. Remind me again that I am Your Beloved.

Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner.