fear

My One and Only Inspirational Sports Blog

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I normally don’t blog about sports. In fact, I never blog about sports. Famous last words. This blog is about sports. Go figure.

The St. Louis Cardinals are the world champions in baseball. Big deal, you say. What does that have to do with anything? Let me nerd out for a bit and give you some stats. The Cardinals were 10 1/2 games out of the final playoff spot on August 25. They barely made it on the last day of the regular season.

They reached the world series and were trailing the Texas Rangers in game 6. In fact, twice they were ONE strike away from elimination. I saw all kinds of facebook posts saying how the game was over. No chance for the Cardinals. But as with any sport, the game ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Here’s the point. Don’t ever give up. Even when it seems past hope, keep believing. Other people may count you out and quit on you, but God never has and never will. Some will stop believing that you are worth the effort of loving, but God never will.

You may be down to your last out, down to your very last strike. But if you’re still breathing, you’re not done yet. I heard this from a pastor and I’ve referenced it before, but what is impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.

It’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to start dreaming. It’s not too late to believe what God has dreamed for you. It’s never too late to give God control and let Him do what only He can do: make you who He always meant you to be.

Like I said before, no matter what others have said about you or what you’ve said about yourself, the only opinion that matters is God’s. No matter what names you’ve been given (or what names you’ve given yourself), the only name that counts is the name that God has given you. That name is still BELOVED.

Take heart, dear friends. Hope never dies and you’re never too lost or to broken or too late for God to save, redeem, and make beautiful. I needed that reminder tonight, and I hope you did, too.

Tired Thinking

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I am strange and unusual. I have come to accept that and I am fine with it. I have weird thoughts and say weird things sometimes. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain awkward.

I have learned that when I am extremely tired, my thoughts take on a life of their own. When I am exhausted, my thoughts don’t trend toward happy places. I go negative and dark and self-loathing. I am suspicious of other peoples’ motives and think the worst is going to happen.

I have thoughts like, “See how that person didn’t respond to your post? He/she is really mad at you,” or “See? That person has had it with you and you won’t ever hear from them again.” Or “You really are no good. You don’t deserve anything good.”

The irony is that tired thoughts will keep you awake, mind churning and your insides writhing, and make you even more tired than before. If you let them, they can take you to a place of hopelessness and despair and isolation, not a good place to be.

I’ve learned a few things. First, I know better than to trust my feelings, especially when I’m tired and my defenses are down. I like what I heard, that your thoughts and feelings will lie to you, so you go with what you know to be true about God.

Second, I have to realize that not all the thoughts in my head are from me. Satan can put a thought in my head and make me think that I thought of it. That’s where it helps to pray out loud that God would bind Satan from your thoughts.

Third, I have to tune in to what God is saying about me. I have to listen to the Voice that is saying good things about me. If I can quiet my thoughts, I can hear the sweet voice of my Abba singing over me, like He does every night.

Finally, I know that in the morning, things will seem a whole lot clearer and all those dire thoughts about people who hate me and have abandoned me don’t seem quite as convincing. When you call something by its name, it loses its power over you.

My prayer is that you can have a calm and quiet soul. Psalm 131 talks about being like a weaned child with its mother. That’s how God wants us to be with Him. Completely trusting, utterly abandoned, and resting in His everlasting arms. After all, it’s not what you say about yourself that matters, but what God says about you. And He is saying good things if you only have ears to hear.

Come and Find Rest

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I never thought I’d actually say this (or type this), but this blog isn’t for everyone. If you’re content and peaceful and everything is falling into place for you, then you probably don’t need to read any further. If you have a game plan and are workin’ it, stop here.

If you’re harried and worried, this is your blog. If you’re weary and heavy-laden, if you’re overburdened and worked to the point of exhaustion, this is for you. If you wake up from sleep feeling more tired than when you went to bed and if you think you will have to live to be 300 to get every project, assignment and task done, do read further.

Jesus said, “Come to Me and find rest for your souls.” I’m fairly certain that doesn’t mean plopping down on the sofa to catch Monday Night Football (or if you’re me, a really good classic movie). It’s not about a 24-hour sleep-athon.

I like to think of rest this way. Bear with me. I being a complete book nerd like to re-read certain books. I read The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia every year. It’s like going on a free vacation to familiar places with familiar people (or hobbits).

It’s restful. I know how the story will end, but I can still get caught up in it. I can live vicariously through the characters and experience everything without the fear that it will all end badly. I’ve read the ending.

In life, we can live that way. The Book has been written and I know how it ends. I don’t have to worry that my life will turn out to be tragic and meaningless. God’s got a purpose for the world and for me. He’s written the greatest story ever told and invited me to be a part of it.

If you know that the ending is a happy one and that you’re on the winning side, that changes your perspective. If you know that God is for you and His plans for you are not to harm you, but to prosper you and give you a hope and a future, you can rest.

You can keep a quiet heart and a calm soul in the midst of business and chaos. You can face your failures, knowing that God can redeem the worst mistakes and make them the first part of your testimony. You can breathe easier knowing that God hasn’t forgotten you, but is forever with you, singing over you and rejoicing with you and rooting for you.

I pray you find rest. I pray the peace that passes understanding will guard your hearts and minds and you will know the embrace of your Abba and hear Him saying good things about you. Because He likes you, He loves you, and He’s crazy in love with you.

Fear

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I’ll admit it. I have watched my share of suspenseful and scary movies in the past. There’s something about the adrenaline that comes from the rush of fear from things that go bump in the night. It helps that I know it’s not real.

Sometimes the fear is in real life and seems very real. Then there’s not so much of an adrenaline rush. At least not the good kind.

I have run the gamut of fears. I have been afraid of the dark and afraid of storms and afraid of loud noises. I outgrew those, thankfully.

Other fears have been harder to shake. There’s the fear that I had that if people really found out what I was like, they would leave me or at least have nothing to do with me. That the real me wasn’t good enough.

There was the fear that if someone didn’t respond a certain way or at all, that I had offended them. I had myself convinced more than a few times that a person was furiously angry with me when they weren’t the least bit bothered.

Of course, there’s the old standby fear: that I will eventually end up alone and I will run off all the people I love.

Fear doesn’t have to make sense to be real. I can know a fear isn’t rational and still have it control me. In fact, fear is always based in a lie that I choose to give power over my life.

The Bible says that there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out all fear. The more you know love, the less you are controlled by fear. The less power it has over you.

I have known nights when fear was in complete control and all I could do was whisper a “Father, please help.” I have known what it’s like to be wrapped up in Everlasting arms and swaddled in perfect love. I have known a perfect peace that settles my heart and makes the fears vanish.

That’s what I pray for you. That you would be so overwhelmed and filled with this Perfect Love that there would be no longer any room for fear to take hold. That you would feel God holding you close, feel His smile over you, hear Him calling you Beloved, and know that nothing can take you away from His love.

The old saying goes, “No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace.” I think I would amend it to say, “No Jesus, Know Fear. Know Jesus, No Fear.” The more you know and love Jesus and know how much He loves you, the less you have reason to fear.

That’s a good thing.

What I Know For Certain

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I don’t know a lot. Shocker. There’s so much to learn already and new information pops up everyday. Old information changes and is rendered obsolete and it’s just plain hard to keep track. Which is why I read the comics page and the sports page.

I do know a few things that are going to be true tomorrow and the day after that and for as long as I live.

I’ve never ever seen a night that wasn’t followed by day. No matter how dark it gets, the sun is bound to come out soon enough.

I’ve never seen a storm where the clouds didn’t break and the sun didn’t come breaking through. Storms come, but those storms have an expiration date. Storms aren’t forever.

The best part is this.

God is the same through it all. The God over the night is also the same God over the day. The God who watches over you in the storm watches you in the sunshine.

The God who is with you as you stand by the deathbed of a loved one is the same God who will greet your loved one with open arms the very moment that person leaves this earth.

The God who saw you fall and saw your life break into a million pieces is also the God putting those pieces back together and will be the same God who looks at the finished you, better than new and a shining replica of Jesus.

I know this because I’ve been through a few storms and prayed through some dark nights. I’ve been afraid and ashamed and I’ve failed more times that I’ve gotten it right. I know for certain that God loves me the same as if I had never sinned or failed or let fear rule my heart. He loves me the same in the storm as in the sunshine and in the night as in the brightest part of the day.

That’s what I know for sure and that’s what I hold onto always.

Another Day, Another Dollar, Another Lesson Learned

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I had a professor once that said, “Of all the classes I’ve seen, this is one of ’em.” That’s how I generally feel about Mondays. Of all the Mondays I’ve lived through and survived, today was one of them. Not great, not bad, just kinda there.

I got reminded that although I continue to fail and sin and fall into the same old temptation traps, grace is as sweet and the mercies of God are as fresh and new as ever. I am eternally held by the loving arms of my God and nothing will ever cause Him to let go. Not the weather, not current events, not famine or feast or flood. Not anyone else or anything else in this whole wide world. And not me.

I also got reminded that all those things I don’t have and all the desires in my heart that are unfulfilled are in Good Hands. I spend way too much time obsessing over how I can ever get married or get a better job or how to help God out instead of just breathing deeply in and out, relaxing, and trusting God to do what only He can do.

I think Monday gets a bad rap. I give Monday a bad rap sometimes. I know you’ve heard that Monday is a terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Monday is the new start and the clean slate of the week. Just as those mercies of God are new every morning, so every week you get a fresh chance to cease striving and worrying and to really trust God and His promises. No matter how badly you failed last week, this week starts with a clean slate.

I hope that helps. Tonight I will go to bed, looking back at that one sin trap I not only didn’t avoid but rushed headlong into. I will see sour-graps attitudes, grumbling, opportunities not taken to share and be Jesus to somebody. I will see pettiness and bitterness instead of gratitude.

But tomorrow I will wake up and the score will be 0-0. The slate will be clean and all those past sins forgiven, forgotten and forever behind me.

So if I just wrote this blog for me only, it was totally worth it. I needed to remind myself of just how good the grace of God is and how He’s not even close to quitting on me. I will still hear that sweet voice singing over me in the night and that voice will still call me BELOVED.

The same goes for you, too. Happy Monday!

Excerpts from Sarah’s Journal

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(This is what I imagine Sarah would have written in her journal while she waited on the fulfillment God’s promise. This may not be 100% dead-on accurate as far as ages and times, but I think it’s somewhat close)

Age 20– Married to a wonderful man. Abraham is as kind and gentle a husband as a wife could want, but my heart aches for a child. Lord, please send me a son.

Age 30– More and more I see other wives who have been abundantly blessed with so many children and still I have none. I am ashamed that I still haven’t given Abraham a son.

Age 40– I pretend that Abraham and I are happy and that we are content with being childless. Even Abraham doesn’t know that I cry myself to sleep some nights. I still dream about the son that might have been.

Age 50– It’s hard to celebrate the birth of grandchildren for others when I have given up hope for any children for us. Life goes on and I take it one day at a time. Getting through the day is all I can do these days.

Age 60– There is no more hurt or pain. I don’t feel anything anymore. Just a dull ache and an empty void. Yes, God is enough. He will always be enough. It’s just so hard to have  your dreams crushed.

Age 70– Could it really be that God promised Abraham a nation through us? Did he really say we would have a son? The tiniest spark of hope rises out of the ashes of former dreams.

Age 80– Maybe we heard wrong. I tried to help God out with Hagar, but that turned out disastrously. God, if this is to happen, it has to be you. I can’t be disappointed again. I just can’t. I don’t think I would survive it this time.

Age 90– I am holding 8 pounds of impossible in my arms. Beyond my last hopes and from this dead body, God brought life. My God is a God for whom the impossible is not even remotely difficult. No one is ever too far gone or too past hope for God to see and reach. At the last possible moment in the darkest hour, God did what He does best. He comes through.

When you’re dreams seem past salvaging and your hopes seem like a joke, remember that God is the God of the 90-year old with the newborn child. Nothing is impossible for this God. Nothing.

Grace Moments

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Today, I took my lunch at 11:30. I almost always take my lunch at noon, but for whatever reason, I took my lunch today at 11:30. I got a call from a friend of mine who had free tickets to see Casting Crowns at the Bridgestone Arena and wanted to know if I wanted to go. I was thinking in my head “Is Bill Gates rich? Does the Pope wear funny hats? Heck yeah!”

So I ended up at Bridgestone Arena in the club seat section, witnessing one of the best Christian concerts I have ever been to. It was a very good night. I may feel like a zombie, but I am one content and satisfied zombie.

Mark Hall, the lead singer for Casting Crowns, said something that grabbed my attention. He said that God sees your future as a memory. He’s already in it. He’s on the other side of it.

He talked about life as a kind of parade that we’re stuck in, watching the floats go by and waiting for the candy at the end. Some of the floats make no sense to us and we sometimes wonder if the parade will ever end. God sits above the parade and sees the whole thing from beginning to end.

Some parts of our lives make no sense to us. The pain seems senseless, the tragedy seems pointless, and nothing ever seems to get better. The good news of the gospel is that we have a God who is on the other side of the pain. Not only that, He’s with you in the midst of pain. He was there when you received the wound.

The beautiful part about Jesus being outside of time, as one pastor said, is that He can go back to the point in time where that person wounded you and heal you so that you’re no longer bleeding into the present.

And yes, if you look, you can find moments of unexpected grace even in the pain. Moments where you catch a glimpse of the glory that’s on the other side waiting for you. Moments that give you hope to get through.

Jesus has got a strong-arm grip on you and He’s not about to let you go. Nothing, not the pain, not the storm, not even you, can separate you from God’s love. That’s worth celebrating. That’s grace.

Life and How to Live It (No Relation to the R.E.M. Song)

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This past Wednesday, I went to Williamson Medical Center to see my newborn niece for the first time. Displaying my usual directional prowess, I barged into the wrong entrance, meandered aimlessly around for a bit, came back out, puttered around the building, and finally found the right entrance.

As I left the elevator, I almost ran into a lady who was obviously upset and weeping. As she entered the elevator, I heard sobs beginning. I’m sure she had just enough strength to get to her car before she completely fell apart.

I can only imagine the loss of a loved one could bring out such grief. To think I passed someone who had just said their final goodbyes when I was on my way to say my first hello to the newest member of the family.

Life is like that. So much joy and sorrow, laugher and mourning, sunshine and rain (I bet those of you who grew up in the 90’s immediately thought of the same song I’m thinking of now. Good luck getting that out of your head!) Very rarely is life as good as it could be or as bad. It’s usually somewhere in the middle.

I was reminded tonight that the story I’m in isn’t a “me-story,” but a “God-story.” I love the way someone put it tonight: I didn’t invite Jesus to be in my story, but Jesus did invite me to be a part of God’s story of redemption and restoration for the world.

God’s plan is still the best plan because He sees what we oftentimes can’t. He can get you through anything, no matter how dark or hopeless it seems. He is always, always for you. His love is still the most powerful element in the universe, more than any weapon or group or force that ever has been or ever will be.

My advice to you (but mostly to myself) is to live in the wonder of God’s story and never cease to be amazed at what He is doing in you, through you, and around you. Always keep your eyes open with the expectations of seeing God do amazing things.

I love this passage. I think it says what I’m trying to say a thousand times better:

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!” (Romans 8:15-17)

Electric Moments

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I attended a concert recently featuring Buddy Miller, Patty Griffin, and Jim Lauderdale. That alone would qualify it for uber-awesome status. Already it was in the running to be in my top 3 favorite musical events of 2011.

But then they started talking about being in Robert Plant’s band and touring with him. They talked about not only how he was super talented, but a really nice guy. Then, lo and behold, they called him from somewhere backstage. The moment he stepped on stage, the place went crazy. I could feel the hairs on my arm all standing and waving (and probably requesting “Stairway to Heaven).

It was truly an electric moment.

Maybe you had one of those moments with Jesus. Maybe it was the day He rescued you from sin and from yourself. Maybe it was much later when you had a eureka moment about how madly and deeply He is in love with you.

For me, it was the moment I stopped defining me by my shortcomings and what I perceived how others thought of me and started believing what Jesus said and thought about me.

I still get those moments when God’s truth gets through my thick skull and really hits home. When a precious word from God makes the 18-inch journey from my head to my heart.

I think the ultimate electric moment will be when Jesus comes back. I think that on that day, He will somehow find me and be looking in my eyes. His look won’t be of disappointment or anger or resignation. It will be the look of crazy, wild, perfect love.

I hope you can picture tonight how Abba Father is joyously singing and dancing over you with shouts of delight. You are His electric moment. I pray that image settles into the core of your being and never leaves.

You are God’s electric moment.