family

It’s in the Details

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“Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way” (Colossians 3:15-17).

I’ve had a hard time coming up with something to write tonight. That happens to me periodically. I search my brain for a memory or a word or a phrase I heard earlier to trigger an idea that becomes a blog, but I get nothing. I can hear the wheels in my head a-turnin’, but apparently the hampster has gone off to sleep somewhere.

I do know that it’s useless to spend your whole life waiting for the next big event. If you’re single, that means waiting until you find someone to date. If you’re dating, that means waiting until you are engaged and then married. If you’re married, it means waiting until the first child is on the way. And so on.

If you’re not careful, you get so caught up in looking ahead in anticipation that you miss what is in front of you. A smiling face. A kind word. A small blessing.

Those little things help you along the road to becoming the person who is ready for the next big event. How you treat the people around you now will determine if you’re ready for your next phase.

So be compassionate now. Love unconditionally now. Be content now. Trust God now.

He will take care of getting you to the next step.

 

 

What to Wear This Holiday Season

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“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it” (Col. 3:12-14, The Message).

No, this is not a fashion blog. It’s more of an attitude-adjustment kind of blog.

The holiday season is vast approaching. Some are looking forward to traveling and seeing relatives, many of whom you only see on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some are dreading the awkward conversations and the even more awkward silences that are just as much a part of the family tradition as stuffing your face with turkey and gathering around the TV for the ol’ football game.

Maybe this season, try something different. Put on compassion. Instead of being so exasperated with THAT relative who gets on your very last nerve, try to understand why he or she is that way. Maybe try to see things from his or her point of view.

Try grace. You know you’ve been obnoxious and annoying at times. You know you’ve put your foot in your mouth a time or two and said some things you’d prefer were never brought up again. Ever. So when someone else annoys or upsets you with an offhand comment that comes out wrong, be forgiving.

Try humility, remembering that the other person bears the image of God just as much as you do. Remember that you were just as much in need of forgiveness and grace as the other person.

If all else fails, eat as much turkey as possible. With all that tryptophan running through your system, you won’t care anymore what anybody says. Plus, you can’t really say anything stupid with your mouth full.

Chasing Cool

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Something we talked about at Kairos Roots made me think of the movie Clueless. I realize that the confession that I’ve seen the movie will result in my man-card being confiscated and quite possibly shredded, burned, and the ashes buried in cat litter, but I don’t care. It’s a good movie and there is a point to this.

In the movie, Brittany Murphy’s character starts off desperately trying to fit in and be what everybody else thinks she should be. I’ve done that. Sometimes, it’s like wearing shoes that are one size too small or clothes that may be in fashion but don’t really fit who you are (another hit to the ol’ man card).

The best part of the movie is when she finally is able to be comfortable in her own skin and be who she is, qurks and all, instead of trying to conform to everybody else’s ideas of who she should be.

I think many of us do that because we don’t think that the real you and the real me is good enough. We think nobody will like us if we present our true selves. But the burden of wearing masks and living somebody else’s life can be just as burdensome and overwhelming.

Can I set your heart at ease about this?

God made you and called what he made very good. He thinks you’re good enough. Not every single person in your life will think that way, but  the right people, the ones God puts in your life, will think so. Not only that, they will make a point to remind you and to call out in you those qualities and gifts and talents that you may not even see in yourself.

Surround yourself with these people. Look for those who bring out the best in you and lift you up and want to be around you because you’re you. Not those who want to mold you into something you’re not.

Also, look for those who might need your encouragement. Those who are walking down a path that you’ve already been down. Those who need to know that somebody believes in them and likes them for who they are without them having to play games or wear masks or jump through hoops.

The most powerful people on earth and the greatest examples of the power of the gospel are those who have found their true identity in Christ and are living out of that, empowered by the confidence that comes from knowing they are the chosen and beloved of God.

May we come to the place where we live like that.

A Letter to My Niece Lizzie

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You’re too young to read this right now, but one day maybe you will.

Today is your 1st birthday. It only seems like a few days ago that I was meeting you for the first time in the hospital room with your mother and father wearing smiles that stretched from ear to ear. I got to hold you for a little while and I think you grabbed my heart in your tiny hands and it’s been there ever since.

Today I and the rest of your family watched you eat your first birthday cake, getting more frosting all over your face and in your hair and on the floor than in your mouth. You had the biggest grin on your face. You were loving every minute of it.

You’ve already grown up so very fast, learning to crawl and stand up and say a few words. It won’t be long before you’ll be walking, then running, then asking for the keys to the car.

I hope you know already how much your mother and father and brothers love you. How much your grandparents love you. And how much your crazy goofy uncle loves you, too.

You’ll be the most photographed child in history. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you will have lots more photos taken of you. You’ll have videos taken of your first steps, your first day of school, your first soccer game, and so on. There will be birthday parties and slumber parties and field trips and vacations and so many things to look forward to.

If anything, I hope you come to know as soon as possible how much not only your family loves you, but how much God loves you. I know your parents are already showing you by word and by example.

I hope you know that you are a princess, because your Father is a King. I hope you will listen to what he says about you and don’t listen to anybody else who tries to tell you otherwise.

I hope you grow up into a beautiful young woman and find a godly young man who loves you more than his own life. I hope you get married and have children of your own that you can laugh with and tell stories to. I hope that you can pass the legacy of faith down to them just as it was passed to you.

I can’t wait to see you become all that God created you to be.

Just a Friendly Reminder or Two (or Three)

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I was thinking on the way home from a good night out. It was one of those perfect nights that come in the twilight of summer and a good breeze was blowing. I had 10,000 Maniacs spinning in my CD player. It was a good moment. Based on that, I have some friendly reminders for those out there who may or may not need them.

1) Don’t ever take your family or friends for granted. I can’t emphasize that enough. I heard once that when you take something or someone for granted, what you’re granted gets taken. I am learning to not assume that the people in my life will always be there, but to make the most of the time I am given with each and every person in my life.

2) Don’t assume that others know how you feel about them. Tell them. Tell them every chance you can, even if it seems like overkill. It’s better that you know too much that I care for you than you never know it at all. Who knows? They might need the reminder at the particular moment you say those words.

3) Don’t be afraid to break out of the mold and try new things. Try new foods. Hang out with different people. Break away from the oh-so-popular crowds and spend time with those who are on the outskirts of the crowd or sitting alone. I truly believe that’s where you find Jesus.

4) God never gets tired of your gratitude, so thank Him for every thing. Even if it’s for waking up this morning or for drawing the next breath.    You can never be too grateful or thankful. A thankful spirit opens your eyes to see God in a new and fresh way and enables you to see His blessings where you never saw them before.

That’s all for now. I would be amiss if I didn’t tell you once again that I am supremely grateful for every single person reading this little blog. I’m thankful for my family and for every single friend who has stuck with me all this time. You matter to me and you matter to God.

Thank you.

Judging

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Have you ever felt like someone passed sentence on you and wrote you off based on something you said or did? Have you ever felt condemned by another because you messed up once too many times?

Then you know not to judge another in the same way.

You never know what a person’s been through. You never know the whole story of the journey that person has been through and all that God has called them to walk through. If you did, you would probably celebrate how far they’ve come instead of passing judgment.

I’ve been guilty far too often of judging. I’ve thought, “This person really needs to read this or hear this” or “I sure wish God would convict them of this particular issue.” Would I want someone else thinking the same about me?

I know I’ve done and said and texted and posted enough to get me booted off people’s Christmas card lists. I certainly have done enough to warrent being voted off the island and having people write me off and give up on me. That’s why I never write anybody else off or give up on them.

Mike Glenn spoke at Brentwood Baptist Church this morning about how everybody’s got a list of people the world would be better off without. Before you make your list, remember that you are most likely on someone else’s list.

I love what Max Lucado said: “I choose gentleness… Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.”

Who knows? Remember you may not have done as well in someone else’s shoes. You might not have survived. And you may still yet be facing someday what that person has already faced and overcome.

So, I choose gentleness and grace and understanding over judgment and condemnation. I choose to bless rather than curse, to encourage rather than to criticize, and to be a blessing to somone instead of seeking blessings from that person.

What will you choose?

5 Minutes

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I’ve been trying to lose weight and get in shape. Lately, that means putting in an hour on the elliptical. For me, that’s a lot.

Some mornings, I feel there’s no way I can last that long. So I try for the first 5 minutes. After that, I try for 10. And so forth. If I break an hour down into 5-minute segments, it’s not nearly so bad.

Life is like that.

Some days, you think there’s no way you can survive for the next 24-hours. You feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. Don’t try. Just take the next 5 minutes and breathe deeply and slowly and think to yourself, “I can survive the next 5 minutes.”

Sometimes, you are held captive by your fears telling you that you’ve really messed it up this time and that friend is gone for good. It’s tempting to try and fix what really isn’t broken (which never works, by the way). Or you take the next 5 minutes and are able to start seeing the cracks in the fabric of that lie.

You can do anything for 5 minutes. You can pray or be silent or wait. You can breathe slowly and deeply. You can remember one blessing God has given you and dwell on that.

When I’m stressed out and can’t sleep, 5 minutes of meditating on the goodness of God can make all the difference. It can take me from almost falling back into my old approval-addiction, “nobody likes me” trap to remembering that I am still blessed with family and friends who surprise me all the time in unexpected ways with grace at every turn.

So set your stopwatch or your phone for 5 minutes. It may be a small start, but sometimes all Jesus needs in your life is the smallest place to start. Then He can do amazing things in your life.

I am living proof of that.

 

A Unique Kind of Blog for Me

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I have never done anything like this, but I have never felt so led by the Spirit to promote a friend of mine who will be leaving for Columbia in a little over a month to be an English teacher in a bilingual Christian missionary school in Columbia, South America.

Her name is Lara Spaw and she is one of the best people and godliest women I have ever met and had the blessing to be friends with. Her friendship has made me better, stronger, braver, and more like Jesus.

I am calling to you action on her behalf. First of all, I ask for you to pray for her to have a mind that is Spirit-led and controlled and eyes that are fixed on Jesus. I pray for protection and blessing and anointing over her in her travels and during her stay in Columbia.

But I also am calling you to support her financially. I myself have felt God putting a dollar amount in my heart to give to her ministry, and for me it would be a sin not to give that. But I encourage you to give as you feel led by the Spirit of God.

http://www.rce-international.org/donate/credit-card-donate-page/

This is the link. You will see a box with a scroll tab under the word “missionaries.” There you can scroll down until you see her name followed by the number 11944. Or you can write a check made out to RCE International and send it to PO Box 4528, Wheaton, IL 60189. In the memo line of your check, put “Ministry Account 11944.”

This plea for support is not because Lara is my friend. It is because I believe God called her to Columbia for such a time as this. Who knows but God may work in her and through her to do a mighty work in that country? Who knows but this might be the start of a nationwide revival that goes global?

I don’t know. I do know that God honors those who honor him and blesses those who reach out to the least of these.

Lara, I will be praying for you every day while you’re away and believing in faith that you will be amazed and astounded at what God does not only in you but through you and around you. You gave Jesus a place to start and now He is getting ready to change the world through you and others like you.

Thank you for your friendship and your faithfulness to God’s calling on your life.

Good Conversations

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I had a really good conversation with a good friend I’ve known for a while today. It was at Starbucks, so of course quality beverages were involved. In this case, it was two chai frappachinos with caramel on top. I highly recommend one if you ever get the chance.

It was one of those conversations that makes you a better person. It was one where I realized again just how blessed I am to have friends like this. I truly believe that I will look back 50 years from now and see that I am more like Jesus because of conversations like this one.

What will you remember about your conversations 50 years from now? Will you remember anything worthwhile that you said or heard? Will you be able to point to those times where you changed for the better because of the healing and encouragement and blessing spoken into your life?

I know I am who I am because of God speaking life into me through so many friends and family members. Not all the words were easy to hear, but every word carried the power of God to transform and renew me.

Thank you, friend, for blessing me every time I see you. It’s because of you and others like you that I am finally able to see myself and love myself the way God does and love others the same way.

May you be blessed a thousand times over for your words of comfort and kindness to me. May you never forget how fond your Abba is of you and always feel His smile of approval over you in everything you say and do.

The same goes for all of you reading this right now.

 

Happy Mother’s Day to the Best Mom Ever!

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Happy Mother’s Day to Delores Johnson, the best mom a guy ever had. Of all the moms I’ve ever had, you’re my favorite!

You took me to all those recitals and practics, including that ill-fated attempt at t-ball where all I did was play in the sandbox. Not to mention that aborted disaster that was gymnastics.

You took me to piano lessons, soccer practice, Boy Scouts, field trips, and to all those bookstores and music stores. It seemed like you must have logged a million miles on all those blue station wagons.

You took care of me when I got sick and made me feel better. You gave me crackers and coke for when I couldn’t hold anything else down. You kissed all my boo-boos and made them go away.

You survived my 10th birthday party at the skating rink at East End with all my 4th grade friends. You even managed to keep most of your sanity intact.

You were with us through the loss of three dogs and one parakeet, not forgetting those short-lived sea monkeys who prematurely expired due to a badly-thrown nerf football.

I always loved opening my lunchbox on Valentine’s Day and finding those little shoebox cards inside with those Little Debbie cakes.

You made vacations fun. You made rainy days fun. You made life fun.

I love you lots and in case I didn’t ever tell you before, you’re my hero. You’re one of the best, godliest women I know and if the woman I marry is half of who you are, I will be blessed indeed.

Lucy has read all the above and gives her two paws up as sign of her consent.

Happy Mother’s Day!