faith

My Life Four Years Later

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Four years ago today, I got called into a meeting with two HR reps at my old job. They sat me down and let me know that my job was being eliminated and that I was no longer needed– effective immediately.

That day started off as most work weekdays do. I showed up and started doing my job with not even the slightest inkling of something fishy. I never suspected the company was about to let 50 employees go that day. I don’t think too many people had a clue of what was about to happen.

I’ve found out that day and every day since that God is bigger than my employment status. He’s bigger than what’s in my checkbook. He’s bigger than any amount of bills that are coming due.

God is bigger than anything I’ve yet faced or will ever face. More than that, God is enough. For whatever still lies ahead for me to face, God is enough.

Looking back, I see that perhaps I was getting a little too complacent with my life at that point. Maybe God needed to shake things up a bit.

I can’t say that my faith has grown by leaps and bounds. I do know more than ever that it’s not a big faith in God that counts but faith in a big God– even if that faith is as minuscule as a mustard seed.

It’s not that I have such a stranglehold on God. There have been days when I know that I’ve been carried, too helpless to hold onto much of anything. God has been holding me.

I repeat what I said earlier– God is enough. God is sufficient. If I ended up with everything I could ever want in this life time and don’t have God, I have nothing. If all I have at the end is God and nothing else, I have everything.

 

Back in Time

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Earlier tonight, I was watching Batchelor Mother, an old movie starring Ginger Rogers and David Niven from back in 1939. Sometimes when I see an old film like that, I wish I could step back into the time of the movie. It seems to me that that era was a lot less complicated and dangerous than the times I live in.

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe I’m the only one who wants to go back to a time before they were born. Most likely, what I want didn’t really exist even back then. Maybe what I want is to live inside the artificial world of a movie.

I’m still finding out that the best place to be is in the center of God’s will under the watchful care of His eye. Right now in this present moment is where God is speaking to me, not in my past failures or my future uncertainties.

I remember Midnight in Paris, where the main character obsesses over going back to Paris in the 1920s until he gets there (via some kind of time travel) and finds out that the people then weren’t any happier.

Maybe the best place for me to be is living in the present moment with gratitude for all that I have instead of envy over what I don’t. Maybe the key is to slow down and pay attention to where I am and Whose I am.

I’m not always the most observant person in the world when it comes to really and truly seeing my surroundings and what God is trying to tell me. I think that anxiety can keep you from really being in the moment and keeps you from seeing what’s in front of you.

God, bring me back to where you are, here in this moment. Remind me that there’s nothing in my past, present, or future that you haven’t already overcome through Jesus on the cross. Keep telling me that I’m secure in Your love and grace and that You will finish what you started in me.

 

 

FOMO?

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“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there” (1 Corinthians 7:17, The Message).

I was the walking definition of FOMO long before such a term ever existed. Back in my college days, I went through a period where I would wander the Union campus in search of the exciting event I feared I was missing out on. There had to be something great with lots of people involved– almost everyone except me– that if I found it and participated would drastically alter my life for the better.

I probably wasted more than a few nights chasing after these mystical and mythical moments that never materialized.

Now, FOMO (or Fear Of Missing Out) is the prevalent excuse for a lack of commitment by so many– why tie yourself down to someone or something when the possibility of something better still remains?

It seems to me that with FOMO, you do miss out. You miss out on the beautiful ordinary moment you’re in while you’re searching out the elusive and illusory moment. Wherever you are, the grass will always appear greener somewhere else.

It’s like in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe where Eustace spurns good ordinary food in hopes of getting more of that magical Turkish delight from the White Witch. He ends up with neither and with nothing but regrets.

The opposite of FOMO is celebrating the moment God gives you and finding the gifts in it. FOMO says that God is holding out on you but faith says that God is true and trustworthy in all circumstances.

The antidote to FOMO is giving thanks for what you have over fretting over what you don’t have or working about missing out on what might have been. The cure is to see every moment as part of God’s plan to work all things together for your good. Even those ordinary moments.

 

Friday Eve (Also Known as Thursday)

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It’s Friday Eve, known to most of the normal folks of the world as Thursday. For me, it’s the one day of the week where I don’t have to be anywhere or do anything.

As usual, I was very deliberate in my choice of musical accompaniment for my daily trek to and from work. I chose Miles Davis, Mary Chapin Carpenter, and Van Morrison (along with WAY-FM and Mornings with Wally).

As usual, the best day of my week lasted as long as the worst (and I really didn’t have any bad days– I’m just making a point here). The very worst day you’ll ever face still only has 24 hours. As much as it may feel like it some days, the horrible no-good very bad days do not last forever.

I still need God as much on my best days when all my traffic lights are green and the commute is light as I do when I seem to hit every traffic light just as it’s turning red and everything I touch implodes. My need for Jesus hasn’t diminished with any spiritual growth or maturity. In contrast, all my growing up has shown me with increasing clarity my increasing awareness of my total and complete dependence on God.

That’s not a bad thing. As Jesus says in His beatitudes, blessed are those who know their own poverty of spirit and desperate need, for God’s Kingdom belongs to these people. Those are the ones always with open hands rather than closed fists who ask and receive in such abundance that the overflow touches the lives of those in their circle with whom they live, work, and play.

I find myself praying a lot more in traffic, especially on that one part when I have to cross over four lanes to get to my exit. I’m always relieved to get that part out of the way.

I doubt I’ll ever reach a point in my life where I’m not grateful for Friday. It’s automatically awesome for being the last day of the work week.

Oh, by the way, TGIF in advance.

 

Cherishing the Moments

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It’s 10:43 and I am just about to call it a night. At this point, I feel like I could sleep straight through to next Wednesday. I’m that tired.

But it’s a good tired. I put it a full day’s work at my job, went to the last night of a fantastic Bible study class on the book of Revelation, then joined some friends for a birthday celebration dinner.

I had some classic music in the car as my soundtrack on my trek to all these places– first, I had Miles Davis’ E. S. P. Later, I put in Van Morrison’s Moondance. Nothing like going old-school. Not even annoying road construction could dampen the good vibes brought on by this good music.

I love that for the past few days, the weather has felt more like fall than spring. There’s even been a hint of chill in the air. I almost feel the need to bust out my flannel. Almost.

My old boss where I used to work would often say to me when I asked how her day was going, “Any day without a toe tag is a good day.”

Any day that I get to wake up and join in this business of living is a good day. Yet, as good as life is when you appreciate and give thanks for all those 1000 gifts and blessings, this is not as good as it gets. I got reminded again in the last chapter of Revelation. My best day here pales in comparison to what’s to come. My best day here doesn’t even come close to my worst day in heaven. Sure, any day without that toe tag is a good day.

The day that I wake up in the presence of Jesus will be an even better day.

 

What Are the Questions?

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This is a post by a surprise guest blogger. Actually, it’s a quote from one of my favorite authors, Frederick Buechner, that I posted on social media a year ago today.

I may not always 100% agree with everything he says, but I like most of it. Plus, I appreciate good writing, and he is a very good writer.

Here is what he said that impacted me so much back on May 17, 2015:

“On her deathbed, Gertrude Stein is said to have asked, ‘What is the answer?’ Then, after a long silence, ‘What is the question?’ Don‘t start looking in the Bible for the answers it gives. Start by listening for the questions it asks.

We are much involved, all of us, with questions about things that matter a good deal today but will be forgotten by this time tomorrow—the immediate wheres and whens and hows that face us daily at home and at work—but at the same time we tend to lose track of the questions about things that matter always, life-and-death questions about meaning, purpose, and value. To lose track of such deep questions as these is to risk losing track of who we really are in our own depths and where we are really going. There is perhaps no stronger reason for reading the Bible than that somewhere among all those India-paper pages there awaits each one of us, whoever we are, the one question that (though for years we may have been pretending not to hear it) is the central question of our individual lives. Here are a few of them:

• For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? (Matthew 16:26)

• Am I my brother’s keeper? (Genesis 4:9)

• If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)

• What is truth? (John 18:38)

• How can anyone be born after having grown old? (John 3:4)

• What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under the sun? (Ecclesiastes 1:3)

• Whither shall I go from thy Spirit? (Psalm 139:7)

• Who is my neighbor? (Luke 10:29)

• What shall I do to inherit eternal life? (Luke 10:25)

When you hear the question that is your question, then you have already begun to hear much. Whether you can accept the Bible’s answer or not, you have reached the point where at least you can begin to hear it too.

~originally published in Wishful Thinking and later in Beyond Words

God Is Up to It

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There’s an old saying that runs along these lines: if it is to be, it is up to me.

Maybe that’s inspiring to some of you, but not to me. I don’t want it to be all up to me. Especially not before that all-important first cup of coffee in the morning.

I know my limits. I know that I am created in the image of God, yet I also know I am a fallen creature, affected by Adam’s sin just like everyone else (with the notable exception of Jesus, of course).

I’m not strong enough to bear the weight of so much responsibility. I don’t want it to be all up to me.

Today, I remembered a line I heard at Fellowship Bible Church some years ago that went like this: if it is to be, God is up to it.

That’s what I’m resting in and relying on tonight. There’s no scenario that will ever arise in my life where God won’t rise to the occasion and say, “Peace, my child. I’ve got this.”

My future is in much more dependable hands than mine.

If it is to be, He is up to it.

God Doesn’t Make Mistakes

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I read this earlier and it has stayed with me, so I thought I’d share it with you: God doesn’t make any mistakes. Where you are is where you’re supposed to be.

It doesn’t mean where you are feels great. It doesn’t mean where you are is easy.

It does mean that where you are is where God is working on you and on those around you. Where you are is the place where your healing starts. Where you are can be do-over from a bad start.

You never end up anywhere by accident. Every place and part of your life has a purpose. Ultimately, that purpose is you being like Jesus. Right now, that purpose is to get you ready for the next chapter in your life.

With God, there’s no such thing as a dead end in life. There’s no such thing as hopeless or hapless or worthless. There’s still no thing and no one and no place in your life that God can’t redeem and turn into something glorious.

The end.

 

A Little Hint of Heaven

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I don’t know why, but when the weather turns cooler I find myself getting more nostalgic for the people and places of my past. Today, I caught myself wishing I could revisit my grandparents’ old house on Alcy Road in Memphis.

Then it occurred to me.  Maybe I will. Not in the sense of actually driving back to Memphis and going to that neighborhood. Maybe in another way.

Perhaps all the places you and I loved back when and long for were glimpses of what heaven will be like. In The Chronicles of Narnia, when Peter, Lucy, Edmund, and the rest get to the New Narnia, one of them says that all the reason that he loved certain parts of the Old Narnia is that they reminded him of the new. The Old Narnia itself was a shadow and a copy of the New Narnia, the Real and True Narnia.

For me, I have a fondness for Union University. In the past, I had times when I even dreamed of going back and what it would be like. In this case, I really was able to go back, only to discover that the campus has so radically changed that I recognize very little of it. The people that made it so great weren’t there.

I see now that it wasn’t the actual brick-and-mortar buildings that I loved. It was the memories housed in those places — memories of people and events that shaped who I am now. The best memories were the tiniest glimpses into eternity, almost of heaven breaking through.

You can’t go back. Not really. You can never recreate a moment once it’s gone. You can cherish the memory of it and recognize that you saw a little bit of heaven in it. You can devote yourself to living every day to the fullest in pursuit of making new memories rather than living in the past and dwelling solely on old ones.

 

TGIF (Again)

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This is one of those nights when the metaphorical well runs dry. I am laying in bed with my Mac and absolutely no idea of what to write about. Other than writing about not having anything to write about.

It’s Friday. That means not setting the alarm for 5:15 am. I call that a win.

Then again, having a job that requires me to set my alarm for 5:15 am is also a win.

As much as I sound like a broken record, I never get tired of saying that life is grace. If you know what to look for– through a heart of gratitude and thanksgiving– then you will never stop seeing grace. It’s everywhere.

You do truly find what you seek after. If you expect the worst, you will often see the world in a very fatalistic light. If you believe God is at work, you will see the results of His handiwork.

If you see everything good in your life as a gift, you will know that every moment of every day is grace and the fastest way to kill joy is to take the moments for granted.

So I am thankful for this one and only life that I’ve been given. May I live it back to God as a never-ending thank you.