faith

My Review of The First 4 Pages of The Weight of Glory

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I am a fan of all things C.S. Lewis. I’ve read almost everything I can find with his name on it. I’ve seen all the Narnia movies (even the BBC ones that look like they had a special effects budget of $5). So it would make sense that I’m reading his book The Weight of Glory, a book of essays and sermons.

So far, 4 pages in, I get the idea that desire is not wrong. It’s not our desire that’s so bad, but what we desire. We’re thinking way too small when all we long for is a bigger house, a better car, the ideal spouse, perfect sex, and a host of other amenities we can dream of.

C.S. Lewis said it way better when he wrote, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

 I don’t know about you, but mud pies don’t appeal to me in the least. I’d rather take the Hilton Head vacation package any day of the week. And if any of you kind people are offering, I am taking. Just throwing that out there.

One thing he said that struck me was that a proper reward for doing something was the consummation of that activity. In other words, the reward for being a good husband would be a happy and joyous marriage. The reward for being a good parent would be children that are a delight.

Maybe my reward for pursuiing the heart of God is finding it. Maybe the full reward is finding that the heart of God is so big that I can never get to the bottom of it, not even after an eternity of searching. The deeper you go, the more you find and the better it gets and the more there is to uncover.

Ok, so I started the book today and didn’t get very far. In my defense, I read the introductions (notice that I read both), which I hardly ever do. That’s how much I like C.S. Lewis. Further reports to follow. Stay tuned. Oh, and be sure to drink your ovaltine.

Thanks, Uncle Mikey (A Tribute of Sorts to Dr. Glenn)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Thank you, Uncle Mikey, for 20 wonderful years as pastor of Brentwood Baptist Church. Thanks for being a faithful steward of God’s Word who loved Jesus and kept it real (to use your own words).

You told me that Kairos was a safe place where I could be myself, whether that meant raising my hands high in worship or sitting silently with arms folded. You told me that confession was a time not to beat myself up, but to be honest with myself to God and to tell Him what He already knew so that I would come to see myself as He does.

You reminded me that God doesn’t just love me, but He likes me, too. You reminded me that God is crazy about me and that nothing could stop Him from winning my heart and redeeming me out of my own mess into someone who is a child of the King.

You made me love God’s Word again. Your love for Scripture made me want to dig in deeper for myself. You always said, “If you don’t live it, you don’t believe it.” That challenged me more than once to take stock in what I really and truly believed as opposed to what I paid lip service to.

You always spoke honestly about your own faults and shortcomings and fears and made it okay for me to be as open and honest about mine. You told me more than once that all God needs is for a small place to start in my life and He can change me. That it’s never ever too late to start over and let God’s love transform me into something beautiful.

I never spoke to you personally much, but you were always kind to me and listened to me. You always made time to invest in the lives of so many others. There are so many whose lives are better because of your faithfulness to Jesus. I am one of them. Thanks for getting me hooked on Henri Nouwen’s books. I will always think of you whenever I read one of his books.

I hope and pray God gives you another 20 years as pastor of Brentwood Baptist. I pray God’s anointing rests on you and that you never stop being amazed at what God is doing inside you and around you.

God’s not done with either you or me and I can’t wait to see what the final result will be. Thanks to someone I feel like I can call my friend and my brother in Christ. Shalom to you.

From one of your many spiritual children,

Greg.

Drive-Ins And Still More Random Stuff

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

The last time before tonight that I went to a drive-in movie theatre, I saw Liar Liar and The Saint. That should tell you how long it’s been. I know it was sometime around the mid-90’s. Those of you who are better at math than me can figure out how long that’s been.

Tonight (or technically last night, since it’s 1:23 am), I went to the drive-in at Waterford. It was definitely like stepping back in time. Even the movies were vintage, starting with Back to the Future and ending up with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. And yes, Ferris is still my hero.

Life was different back then, at least for me. It didn’t seem so fast and people didn’t seem to be in so much of a hurry. It seems like anymore people are so worried about getting to the next place they often miss where they are now. Says one who is guilty of such.

Sometimes, the most important part is not getting a head start on traffic, but not missing the moment. Savoring a beautiful summer night with breezes hinting of a fall yet to come and stars out in full glory. I’d rather get home 20 minutes later than miss out on that.

Earlier today, I helped Belmont students move into their dorms. It reminded me of my own days as a college student when I moved all my belongings into a dorm room. Those were good days, but I won’t say they were the best.

The best days, I think, are now because that’s where God is and that’s where He is speaking to us and working in us. That’s where I want to be, waiting to see what God will do next. I can’t imagine what it will be, but I know it’s gonna be good.

Like Ferris said, life is pretty short. If you don’t stop every once in a while and look around, you could miss it.

One Day I’ll Learn . . .

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I used to think I was a fairly teachable guy, willing to learn and be corrected and be done with whatever I was dealing with. Boy, was I wrong. I have compiled a list that I hope one day I will get down pat one day so I won’t have to keep relearning.

One day I’ll learn that what I’m afraid of is usually nothing close to reality. That impending doom is highly exaggerated.

One day I’ll learn that a few good deep breaths and a silent prayer will cure most forms of anxiety. Not all, but most.

One day I’ll learn to be completely in the moment and not in the past obsessing over something I could have done better or in the future anticipating what may or may not come my way. That perfect peace God promised me is meant for the present, not a yesterday that’s gone  or tomorrow that’s not here yet.

One day I’ll learn to be content with where God has me and not worry that I’m not where I’m supposed to be, according to some arbitrary cultural standard.

To be honest, I could list 20 more things on my list that I have yet to master. This blog could turn into a “beat Greg up” session. The reality is that I am far less driven by fear than I used to be. I am living more in the moment than ever.  I am more content with each day that passes.

I think the big lesson will be when I learn that while it would be nice to have arrived, a step in the right direction is a good thing. Each baby step toward maturity is a victory. And even if I totally blew it that day, the next one starts with a clean slate.

I’m learning.

Those Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Days

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Alexander had his terrible, no good, very bad day. So I read as a kid. I can relate. I’ve had my share of terrible, no good, very bad, sucky, wishing it would end days. For a little while, today was one of those days.

Then I remembered something. Faith doesn’t grow in my wonderful awesomely good nothing bad days. Faith matures and gets stronger on those terrible no good very bad days. You find your faith when everything else seems to be going wrong and your day has disaster written all over it.

When the job starts feeling too much like work and not enough like a calling, faith grows. When you struggle with what normally would come easy to you, faith matures. When it seems like one bad thing happens right after another, like tidal wave after tidal wave, your faith is made real.

The faith that says that if you believe, you won’t ever struggle or have problems or suffer isn’t real. Just like a butterfly only gets strong by fighting its way out of a cocoon, so your faith only grows muscles when you’re in the midst of dark, stormy days with the wind blowing and waves crashing and you getting pounded.

I always heard that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters. I think it’s not about great big faith in God that counts, but faith in a great big God. It’s not how strong your faith is all the time, but how your faith is in the God Whose strength is unwearying and unending.

The best part about some days is that they end. For me, the best part about my work day is that it’s now past tense. It’s over. I never have to go back that Monday ever again. I don’t know if tomorrow will be better, but I know the same God that got me through today will be there tomorrow.

That calls for a celebration, I think!

Faith in the Dark

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

Today’s sermon was about Jesus calming the storm in Luke 8. The main question that Jesus asked them (and I think He asks us) is “Where is your faith?” Is your faith in yourself, a kind of “I think I can” mentality?Is it a conditional faith in God that says, “I’ll do X if You do Y back? The question the pastor asked was, “When all your props are taken away, who or what do you trust?”

When skies are sunny and the bank account is full and you’re in a season of plenty and blessing, it doesn’t take much faith. You don’t need faith as much for calm seas and cloudless skies. Only when the storm is coming do you see the need for faith. Only in the dark does faith grow.

Faith grows in the middle of bad news from the doctor, hurt and pain from your own family, marriages that end, pink slips from employers, and things like that. When all you have to hold on to is God, you really find out how big and strong He is to save.

The part about that story that I never thought about is that Jesus was with the disciples the whole time. From the first raindrop and gust of wind through the maelstrom to the end, Jesus was there. He was even sleeping though the worst of it.

That tells me that when I am in my stormy seasons of life, I am not alone. It may seem like God is asleep or AWOL, but I know from everything the Bible tells me and everything I’ve seen over the span of my life that God is near. God is with me. He has not left nor will He ever.

The kind of faith you need is not the “I think I can” variety, but the “I know God can” type. The “He is more than able” kind.

Just for the record, I have to give credit to Michael Easley for the inspiration for this blog. Pretty much this is his sermon put in my own words. I guess it’s a good thing this is not a school paper, or I’d have to do a whole mess of footnotes. And double spacing and margins.

I’m so glad I’m not in school anymore.

More Randomness And Late Night Weirdness

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Sometimes, I think my cat looks at me when I’m leaving for work and thinks, “In order for you to miss me, you have to go. I really like you and all that, but the sooner you head out the door, the sooner my nap gets started. So bye!”

I had a couple ideas for really good blogs, but I forgot to write them down. I always have these genius ideas when I am no where near a pen or paper, or in my car, or otherwise not in a position to capture these ideas for posterity.

Somedays, the best thing you can say about your day is that you avoided personal injury and homicide. Kinda like that old saying, “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of all those I had to kill because they really peeved me off.” Not that I would ever kill anyone or condone killing anyone. I might just wish them a really bad case of  hemmorhoids if they annoyed me enough.

Somedays, it’s good to not go anywhere or do anything special. Somedays, the agenda might involved some old movies and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Rest is a good thing. Especially if you’ve had one of those long weeks that never seemed to end.

God reminded me again that my life is a good life. He showed me again that what I thought were crises were just bumps in the road. He never gets tired of telling me that no matter what the middle chapters of the book might look like, the ending is already written and it’s a happily ever after. And He should know. It’s His book.

And FYI, the Ben and Jerry’s flavor was cheesecake brownie.

For All the Phonies in the World

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Let me ask you something. Just between you and me (and the world wide web). Do you ever feel like a phony?

Do you ever hear yourself giving Sunday School answers to real life questions? Do you ever feel that you’re praying what you think God wants to hear instead of what’s really in your heart? Do you ever lie awake at night wondering what would happen if the people around you knew what you were really thinking? What you were really like?

There’s good news that sounds like bad news at first. God knows. God knows it all. He knows all the faux-prayers and the religious jargon you talk sometimes. He knows what you do and what you think when no one’s watching. That seems like bad news until you get to the clincher. He loves you anyway.

He loves you at your phoniest. He loves you at your meanest. He loves you at your darkest moments in the middle of the night. He looks at you and doesn’t see phony. He looks at you and sees Jesus and what Jesus did in your place. He sees the perfect life Jesus lived instead of your own very imperfect existence.

Best of all, God sees you for who you will be instead of who you are. He sees what He designed you to be. He promised to not stop working on you until you’re 100% real and complete.

In the meantime, it’s okay to be real and honest and admit you have made a mess of your life. It’s okay to confess you don’t have all the answers, or even all the questions. It’s really not about how much you know or how well you act but how much you are loved.

I raise my glass and toast to all the phonies who are stepping forward to take off the mask and be honest about themselves. I drink to all the pretenders who just got real. I salute all of you who are letting down the walls on what God is doing in your life so others can see grace at work and how love can transform a person. That’s where the freedom is. That’s where I want to be. I hope you do, too.

Things That Make Me Happy

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I have this key chain piggie that I carry with me sometimes. It doesn’t look quite like the one pictured about, but the effect is the same. You press a small button on piggie’s head and light comes out his snout. Or her snout. It could go either way on this little piggie.

Things like that amuse me. I am easily pleased with little gadgets, especially if they light up. Bonus points if they fit in your pocket and look like little animals. I get joy from the weirdest places sometimes.

Like today at work. It was not going well. I was having a Monday kind of day on a Thursday. I was not having a happy moment. But I prayed and said, “Lord, I give you my frustration and anger and I pray You fill me with Your peace.” Just a simple prayer thrown out in the moment.

Next thing I know, I am at peace. I’m content. I even have joy for no other good reason than God is good. Plus I have my little key chain piggie sitting on my desk as a reminder that I have provision if all the lights in the building suddenly go out. I am prepared.

I’ve learned not to predict or anticipate those little moments of joy. I just know that I get them when I least expect them, when I need them most. When I would usually be stressed or depressed. They are a reminder that God is not just in control of the cosmic universal happenings, but also the tiny insignificant things, like me having a bad day.

Thank you, God for little key chain piggies and for random moments of joy. I’ll take them both, anytime.

 

My Political Blog

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

“All religious and political systems, Right and Left alike, are the work of human beings.  Abba’s children will not sell their birthright for any mess of pottage, conservative or liberal.  They hold fast to their freedom in Christ to live the gospel-uncontaminated by cultural junk, political wreckage, and the complex hypocrisies of a bullying religion” (Brennan Manning)

I get so sick and tired of political parties. I’m tired of the Republicans blaming everything on the Democrats and the Democrats blaming everything on the Republicans. Both have very strong notions about what’s wrong and who’s to blame, but neither side seems to have any answers. Neither side seems to be able to fix what’s wrong.

I’ve decided to form my own political party. I’m calling it the hot chocolate party, or the hot cocoa party. I haven’t decided for sure. All I know is that chocolate will be involved. Lots of it.

Whatever I call my party, I know my hope is not in politics. I as a ragamuffin refuse to sell my birthright as a child of God and citizen of a heavenly kingdom for man-made political systems. I refuse to buy the idea that I need to take back my country. This is not my country. My country is a “far country,” not of this world, just as Jesus’ kingdom is not of this world.

Maybe I’ll go with the Marshmellow party, ’cause marshmellows go with hot chocolate the way eggs go with bacon. Kind of a package deal. Plus, you can eat them solo or throw them at people.

I don’t know. I think the idea of a Marshmellow party makes as much sense to me as any other political party I’ve seen so far. I think I’ll just go read a good book. Thanks and good night!