faith

My Prayer For You

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I pray for you, my friends, these things tonight:

That you can pray the prayer that asks for nothing but instead thanks God for what He’s given.

That you know deeply at the soul level how much your Abba really is fond of you.

That you can rest in the night and hear the voice of the Father God singing joyfully over you.

That you are baby-content as you feel the Everlasting Arms underneath that won’t ever let go.

That you will let go of all the shame and guilt that weigh you down and leave them at the Cross where they were paid for once and for all.

That you never stop being amazed and astounded at what God is doing in and through you.

That whatever God speaks to you and whatever He asks of you, that you’re only reply is “Here am I, Lord. Send me.”

That you forever declare your dependence on God and remember that His strength works best in your weakness.

That you know that you are in Good Hands.

When the Lights Go Out

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 6 Comments

lucynarnia

I was en route from Memphis recently, listening to a book on CD, as all well-seasoned travellers do. It was The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, book 5 of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It was read by Derek Jacobi, by the way, in case you were dying to know.

In the book, the Dawn Treader sails into an island of darkness. It’s a place where fear rules and all nightmares come to life. Lucy is at the top of the ship, watching as the crew tries vainly to escape. In her desperation, she says, “Aslan, if you ever loved us, help us now.” The answer to her prayer is an albatross who, as he flies by her, whispers, “Courage, dear heart,” in Aslan’s voice. He then leads them out into the sunlight.

I bet you’ve been in some dark places in your life. You’ve felt trapped in the valley of the shadow of death, where no light or hope can get through. You’ve been searching for a way out, but all you find is more darkness, more despair, more hopelessness.

You feel your circumstances will never get better. You fear that nothing will ever change. You come to believe that your worst-case scenario is due to come true any day now. Your faith is at a low ebb and your fears are cresting and crashing waves that swamp you.

There’s a voice, if you are still enough to hear it, that whispers the same words what it whispered to Lucy. “Courage, dear heart.” It says, “Hold on. Trust in Me in the darkness even when you can’t find Me there. I am with you, with My everlasting arms underneath you. I will never ever let go.”

Don’t believe that you feel or what you think, but what you know. Believe the same God who has proved Himself over and over and Whose word is true. Know that He is with you and for you in your darkness. Darkness may prevail right now, but joy is coming with the morning.

God is Strong

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

“Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did tha…(tharr be more)t, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, The Message).

When I am weak, then God is strong.

When I have come to the end of all my willpower and promises to stop this one bad habit and I say, “God, I can’t, but you can,” then God is strong.

When I see my weakness as an opportunity for God to come through big time, then God is strong.

When I see everytime someone abused me or made fun of me or ostracized me as a way for God to make me who I am today, then God is strong.

When I can boast in the fact that I am helpless and weak apart from Christ but in Christ I can do all things, then God is strong.

When I look at a track record of fear and failure and still believe that the next morning is a new day with new mercies, then God is strong.

When people see my life and say not, “How great Greg is,” but “How good God is,” Then God is strong.

When all I can pray is “God, help me” and nothing else, when even words fail and all I have are tears and sighs that cry out to God, then God is strong.

When those same people look at me and think that if God could use someone like me then God could use them, then God is strong.

When I see over and over where God picks nobodies and outcasts and throwaways to change the world (think of the 12 who turned the 1st- century world upside down) and see myself as one of those, then God is strong.

When my song though endless ages isn’t, “I did it my way,” but “Jesus led me all the way,” then God is strong.

There are two things I know (and that I heard in a song) that God loves me and He is strong. So tonight I am clinging to that Strong Love with everything that’s in me.

God is strong.

It’s Who You Know

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I’ve always thought it would be awesome to hang out with a celebrity. Maybe have a deep conversation with Bono or have tea with C.S. Lewis (this is my fantasy, so I make the rules and I can talk to famous dead people if I want to).

Since I moved to Nashville, I have had a few celebrity sightings. Heck, I even held the door open for Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman when they were walking out of Borders one time. She even said, “Thank you.” I think I spent the next 30 minutes walking around in a daze.

That’s good and all, but how about this? Who could I possibly meet or know that could ever be more important than the King of the Universe? Who could I ever talk to that would be higher up than the Creator of everything?

The beautiful part of the story is not that I know Him, but that He knows me. He knows my name. He knows absolutely everything I’ve ever done, good and bad. He knows the secret thoughts I keep that no one else knows about. He knows how many hairs are on my head.

Better still, He wants me. He wants me to talk with Him and to tell Him everything. He looked down and saw scrawny little me, destined to be the last one picked for kickball, and chose me. Not because He had to, but because He wanted to. He wanted me.

He loves me. He’s in love with me. He’s crazy for me. This God who has everything gave up everything to win my heart. The Great Romance of the ages is how God Almighty has wooed and won my affections.

He wants you, too. He sees you in your brokenness and bad choices and bitter thoughts and wants you. He knows those things you’ve done that you would give anything to undo and He wants you. He sees into the deepest, darkest part of your heart where you keep your secrets and lies and He wants you.

Christianity is not about avoiding bad sins. It’s not about not drinking or cussing or sleeping around. It’s not even about being moral and having godly habits. Christianity is simply that when you and I could not get to God, God came to us. Not to condemn us, but to change us by the most powerful element in the universe– love. It’s that God wants us to know Him.

The next time you’re tempted to fantasize about meeting celebrities, remember this. You can know the Greatest Person who ever lived. His name is Jesus and He loves you. Yes, as I’ve said many times before, your Abba is indeed very, very fond of you.

20 Years Later: Thoughts on Another Reunion

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Recently, I had my 20-year high school reunion. I guess that makes me old, huh? I don’t feel like I’m 20, much less that I’ve been out of high school for 20 years. Maybe it’s denial, but I don’t care.

I’ve been thinking about the whole weekend and I’ve had some thoughts I’d like to share.

1) No one should be defined by how they acted in high school. I know that I for one was ruled by fear and insecurities in high school and never really took any chances or got out of my tiny comfort zone. Sometimes meanness is just someone acting out of hurt or fear.

2) Grace is still a good thing. I know I need it, so I try to show it as much as I can. It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and believing that who you are isn’t always what you do. So I try to give a person a break when they don’t treat me right. It may be one small act of kindness that can change that person’s outlook.

3) I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I feel a lot like Joseph when I look back on how I was picked on and made fun of. God used it to shape me into who I am and I am not sorry it happened. If that’s what it took to get me to where I am, I am thankful for it.

4) People really do matter. Friendships matter. The only things that last aren’t what we’ve accumulated, but what we’ve sacrificed and given away. I’ve heard that the only currency on heaven is love.

5) 80% of success is showing up, or so I’m told. I think it’s higher than that. To be brave enough to show up and be yourself, warts and all, is success, no matter what happens after that. And to all those who missed out on the 20th reunion, I hope you are doing well and I hope to see you in 5 years.

6) Forgiveness is still a beautiful thing. Forgiving someone means that you are freed from the power they had over you by what they did to you. Forgiving means that you release that person from the expectation that they can fix what they did wrong. Sometimes the person you most need to forgive is yourself.

7) At the end of the day, only the love of God can get you though. It’s not being clever or resourceful or smart or crafty enough, because all those will fail. Only the arms of Jesus are strong enough to carry you through.

I hope to have more thoughts five years from now to share. Until then, I am thankful yet again for friendships that last and for memories that remind me of how good my God is.

 

Reminders for The Storm

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Sometimes you’re in a good place in life and everything goes right and people all like you and all your traffic lights are green at just the right time. Be thankful.

Sometimes you’re not in such a good place. Those old self-doubts creep back in and people you thought were friends are suddenly nowhere to be found. Nothing goes right and it takes all you have to make it out of bed in the morning. Remember these things.

1) God has not forgotten you. It may seem like it. It may feel like it. Everything you see may seem to indicate it. But God’s promise to never leave or forsake you is more real than what you feel or what you think. It’s as good as done.

2) God knows where you are and what you’re going through. He sees the other side of the pain when you can’t and He is with you when it seems no one else is.

3) God’s arms are still long enough to reach down to where you are and strong enough to carry you through. He’s for you in this. Don’t forget that.

4) Everything you go through will  make you stronger and will enable you to help those who are going through the same storms. Your pain becomes your ministry and you will be able to speak into people’s lives in a way that someone who has led a storm-free life never could.

5) Don’t think that just because your storm isn’t catastrophic and earth-shattering, it doesn’t matter. God uses the small inconveniences and the wearying days just as much to shape and mold you into His image.

6) Above all, remember that God’s goal is not your happiness, but your holiness. It’s not comfort and ease, but Christlikeness that He wants for you.

7) Know that you are not alone. You have people who will walk beside you through your storm.

8) As hard as it seems, if you keep a thankful spirit and a worshipful attitude, your storm won’t seem so bad. There’s always something to be thankful for. Always.

I hope this helped someone. I know for me personally, I had to remember that each new morning is a new start. I have to remind myself that all storms come to an end. God’s love will outlast any storm and He won’t ever quit on you. Ever.

 

 

Neediness is Good

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I as a recovering codependent can tell you that neediness is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a very librerating and good thing. It all depends on where you take your needs to.

Other people can’t meet my needs all the time. Maybe some can meet some of my needs some of the time, but never all the time. Only God can meet every need every time.

So God, I’ve made a list of all that I need from You, because You said that if I lack I should ask from You.

1) Wisdom – life is hard and complicated and weird sometimes and I can’t navigate my way through all its unpredicable twists and turns without constant dependence on God for each step.

2) Relationships- I need so much help from You so I won’t say the wrong thing or put my foot in my mouth or generally be goofy and awkward. I can see how far You’ve brought me, but I know I still need You to speak through me and love people through me.

3) Witness- I can’t say enough how much I need You to shine through me every day so that people see You in me. I confess that if anybody has seen anything good in me ever, it has been You and only You.

4) Blogs- I can tell when a blog is from me and when God is in it. My blogs tend to be random and pointless. The blogs You give me always seem to speak to a need and help begin the healing process. I am still amazed that anything I write can do anything for anybody, but when You’re in it, it does.

I need God. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to hold up my arms when I can’t. I need so much, but I am finding out every day that God is more than enough. Chris Tomlin, I think you should write a song about that. It would probably do well on the radio and get sung a lot in churches. Just sayin’.

Oh, and thank you for still reading these blogs. It means the world to me.

Still Amazed

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I had a good conversation with a friend of mine at Starbucks recently. During the conversation, I had two thoughts.

1) I’m amazed that the person I’m talking to wants to have a conversation with me. I’m even more astonished that this person wants to be my friend. After overcoming a lifetime of low self-esteem and codependency, it’s still hard to grasp that I was who God was talking about when He looked at what He created and said, “It is very good.”

I have an even harder time believing that God wants anything to do with me, much less wanting to use me in any way. It blows my mind that He can take my meager offerings, like the two fishes and five loaves of bread, and use them to bless so many (usually in ways that I am completely unaware of at the time).

I’m astonished and amazed and grateful every single day.

2) If I can come from pretty much hating myself and thinking most everybody wanted nothing to do wih me to being able to hold normal converations, anyone can. If God can use me, He can use anybody. The God who heard the cries of His children in bondage in Egypt heard my cries in the middle of the night when I felt alone and abandoned. And He hears your cries, too.

I love this testimony and I’ve borrowed it for my own. I am just a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. That really is all you need to know about me. I’m just a vessel that God uses. Many times, I’m amazed at what God can do through cracked vessels like me.

Remember tonight that your Abba is very fond of you. He knows where you are and what you’re going through. He hears your cries, even when they have no sound. He heard you calling His name even when you can’t speak. He has His everlasting arms underneath you and He is singing over you. I hope you can hear it.

Mostly, I hope you never will cease to be amazed at what God does in and though and around you. I for one never will.

What Do I Know?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

What do I know? Apparently not much. I wake up every day and feel like I know less than I did before. It seems like I find out on a regular basis that there is so much more that I had no clue about. But I still know a few things. None of them are new or original, but I think I needed the reminders today.

1) Jesus still loves me like no other and thinks that I’m still to die for.

2) God’s not even remotely close to being done with me.

3) Sometimes blessings do come in disguises and answers to prayers rarely look like what you expected or come when you expect them to.

4) Cats are funny animals. Especially mine. She cracks me up all the time. She probably looks at me and thinks, “Dude, you seriously need a hobby or a girlfriend or something. Go away.”

5) Friends are the best. I never cease to be amazed at how Jesus speaks to me though my friends and how much of Him I see in them.

6) Family is good, too. Gotta give ’em props since they gave me life and all.

7) It’s still impossible to mess up so badly that you are beyond saving and too broken that God can’t fix you. God is still the best at making brokenness into something beautiful.

8) I don’t have to apologize for who God made me or for the way my life is unfolding. I don’t ever have to be ashamed of who I am or what I believe. I is good people.

9) Life is short. If you don’t stop every once in a while and look around, you could miss it. Ferris was right.

10) No matter how crappy the day was or how badly and how often you screwed up and put your foot in your mouth, tomorrow is a new day. It comes fresh with new mercies and the the faithfulness of God that just won’t quit. You never run out of second chances.

Words of Advice to Myself

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On the WAY-fm morning show, they were talking about something that caught my attention. The question came up: What would you say to your 16-year old self and what advice would you give? I immediately had some answers.

First, I would tell my younger self this. The next time you decide to go strutting around the mall thinking you’re all that and a bag of Doritos, remember to check your fly first. Because walking around with your fly wide open tend to lose you cool points. And no, the earth won’t open up and swallow you just because you really want it to.

Second, have better taste in music. I mean Wham, really? What were you thinking?

Most of all, I would say to myself, “You are ok. You are going to be just fine even though sometimes that seems impossible. You are good enough just the way God made you and you don’t have to pretend to be anybody else or be ashamed of yourself.

“Learn to laugh at yourself and take yourself less seriously. Take what others think and say of you with a grain of salt, but don’t believe everything. Know that you don’t have to always be so worried about what others think of you, because they are wondering what you think of them. They are scared, too.

The best thing I could tell you would be to love yourself as God loves you. He sees you and doesn’t see awkward, shy, and sometimes klutzy guy, but He sees someone worth dying for. He sees someone He would rather die for than live without. He looks at you with undying love. He’s very fond of you and wants you just as you are, right where you are, right now.”

Oh, and those parachute pants? Not a good idea.