doubts

Late-Night Thoughts About Joseph

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“Joseph replied, ‘Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people.'” (Gen. 50:20)

As I have confessed before, there’s a whole lot I don’t know. Especially when it comes to why horrible things happen to godly people. I can point to verses that talk about God working in mysterious ways and how he works all things together for good, but at the end of the day, I’m unable to explain why God couldn’t have worked it out for them in a less painful way.

That’s when I yield to faith. I yield to what I know of God and his character. I yield to what I know of his proven track record in my own life. And I have to fall down on my knees and confess that he is good and that I have nowhere else to turn.

Joseph comes to mind. If anyone in the Bible had a right to play the victim card, it was Joseph. Sold into slavery by his own flesh and blood, falsely accused and slandered by the wife of the man that he had done nothing but serve faithfully for years, and forgotten in prison by those who promised they would remember. I would have thrown in the towel long before then.

But Joseph chose forgiveness. He chose to look with eyes of faith to what human eyes couldn’t see– that God was working even in the worst of circumstances to save not just one man, but an entire nation. He, like so many others, looked to the promises of God and counted them as good as done even when they seemed as good as dead.

I love what a pastor says. God can take that worst moment of your life, that most painful and humiliating season, and make it the first line of your testimony. To borrow a quote I’ve heard a lot lately, he can turn your mess into your message, your test into your testimony, your trial into triumph, and the victim into a victor. You will be able to speak to the pain that no one else can touch because you’ve walked through it.

I love this verse in Hebrews 11: “By an act of faith, Joseph, while dying, prophesied the exodus of Israel, and made arrangements for his own burial.” In other words, Joseph saw that God was able to redeem every single part of what he went through for a purpose far greater than himself. A purpose that saw the rise of a people of God, and later the Messiah.

May you and I see our circumstances with that kind of faith. May we trust that God is just as able to redeem our pain to make something equally as glorious and beautiful out of our messes.

Not Forgotten

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Do you ever sometimes feel like your friends have forgotten that you exist? Does it seem that they can make time for other friends but not for you? Do you feel ignored?

First of all, know that you are not alone. Many people have felt this way from time to time (including me).

Second of all, remember that it’s probably not a good thing to overthink it, especially late at night, because when you’re tired, you don’t think as clearly and things seem worse than they really are. Innocent remarks can take on sinister undertones at 2 am.

Third of all, God has not forgotten you. When you seem most alone, God still knows who you are and where you are. He knows your name, your true name, that no one else but he and you know. You are still on his mind and there is not a moment that goes by where he doesn’t think of you and love you and root for you.

So, if you’re having trouble sleeping tonight (like me), try some warm milk. Meditate not on what feels like the abandonment of your friends, but on the promises of God for you which are as good as done.

 

 

 

Chasing Cool

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Something we talked about at Kairos Roots made me think of the movie Clueless. I realize that the confession that I’ve seen the movie will result in my man-card being confiscated and quite possibly shredded, burned, and the ashes buried in cat litter, but I don’t care. It’s a good movie and there is a point to this.

In the movie, Brittany Murphy’s character starts off desperately trying to fit in and be what everybody else thinks she should be. I’ve done that. Sometimes, it’s like wearing shoes that are one size too small or clothes that may be in fashion but don’t really fit who you are (another hit to the ol’ man card).

The best part of the movie is when she finally is able to be comfortable in her own skin and be who she is, qurks and all, instead of trying to conform to everybody else’s ideas of who she should be.

I think many of us do that because we don’t think that the real you and the real me is good enough. We think nobody will like us if we present our true selves. But the burden of wearing masks and living somebody else’s life can be just as burdensome and overwhelming.

Can I set your heart at ease about this?

God made you and called what he made very good. He thinks you’re good enough. Not every single person in your life will think that way, but  the right people, the ones God puts in your life, will think so. Not only that, they will make a point to remind you and to call out in you those qualities and gifts and talents that you may not even see in yourself.

Surround yourself with these people. Look for those who bring out the best in you and lift you up and want to be around you because you’re you. Not those who want to mold you into something you’re not.

Also, look for those who might need your encouragement. Those who are walking down a path that you’ve already been down. Those who need to know that somebody believes in them and likes them for who they are without them having to play games or wear masks or jump through hoops.

The most powerful people on earth and the greatest examples of the power of the gospel are those who have found their true identity in Christ and are living out of that, empowered by the confidence that comes from knowing they are the chosen and beloved of God.

May we come to the place where we live like that.

The One Who Remembers

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I looked up the word “witness” in a Greek dictionary just for kicks, ’cause that’s what really cool people like me do for fun, in case you ever wondered.

The definition I got startled me a bit. The literal meaning of the word is “one who remembers.” As I’ve mentioned before, believers are not called to be attorneys and prove the existence of Christianity and God, but to be witnesses and tell our stories.

Being a witness is remembering. It’s remembering where you were before Jesus found you, how lost and hopeless you were, how nothing made any sense and life had no meaning.

It’s about the moment you said YES to Jesus and how your life forever changed in that moment and how you became a new person, or a new creation as the verse in Galatians puts it.

You remember who you could be apart from the constant grace of God and how you’re capable of any sin under the sun apart from the indwelling Spirit of Christ. You remember enough times where you fell into temptation and messed up your witness to keep you from pride and thinking too highly of your own abilities.

Most of all, you remember God’s promises. How he promised to finish the good work he started in you. How he promised to never leave or forsake you. How he would see you through to become every bit of what he created you to be.

The Holy Spirit’s job is to bring those things to mind. His job is to remind us of all that Christ taught us, all of the lessons of faith we’ve learned along the way.

May you and I help each other remember our stories so that we can tell them to those who need to hear them most.

 

Who Believes in You?

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“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them.
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains.
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone.” (Isaiah 42:16)

There have been times in my life when I didn’t believe in me. I didn’t see any way that God could ever take my mess and make it into any kind of testimony that anybody would ever want to hear. It was at those moments most of all that God believed in me.

I truly believe that when you don’t or can’t believe in yourself that God believes in you, and he has enough faith for the both of you. He sees who you are at the core way better than you can, and he knows exactly what you will look like when he’s finished with you. And that’s enough.

Usually, that looks like people who come into your life who will believe in you when you can’t. Instead of criticizing your mistakes or telling you what steps you need to take, they offer support and encouragement. Sometimes, they have a double portion of faith for you when you just don’t have it for yourself.

I’ve had people like that in my life. Some are still around. Some were only there for a season. But God spoke to me through them and helped me find my own faith again.

Maybe that’s where God is calling you into someone else’s life. You’re called for a season to believe in someone who can’t believe for himself or herself. You’re there to call out all that God created him or her to be and help him or her see that.

There will inevitably come those dark nights of doubt when you think that not even God can save you, when you think you have passed the point where you can change or be fixed. That you’ll always be broken and unusable.

But in those moments, often God will send those people alongside of you to remind you of your song and help you sing it again. They will call your name in the midst of the deepest night and help you find your way out of the darkness of the valley of the shadow of death into life and light again.

May God give you the eyes of faith to see these people in your life and may you and I be such a person of faith for someone else until he or she can believe in himself or herself again.

A String of Random and Disconnected Mutterings

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For those of you who blog or do some other kind of writing, you know that some days you have this incredible burst of inspiration and creativity, and some days you don’t. Or as the old commercial says, “Some days you feel like a nut, some days you don’t.”

I think as I sit in front of my laptop at 11:37 pm that today is going to go down as one of those nutty yet uninspired days. I just have some randomly disconnected thoughts to share.

I keep thinking about a blog that I read recently. It speaks to how the world tells you “only,” as in only the best qualified get the jobs, only the most talented will make the sports teams, only the most popular can be in the social clubs. But God says “every.” As in “every one who asks, receives,” and “every one who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” I like that. I like it so much I’m putting a link to the blog here so you can check it out for yourselves.

http://brianlamew.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/only-versus-every/

I’m also convicted by how shallow most American believers are. We don’t really know what we believe or how to articulate it. We are by and large Biblically illiterate and easily taken in by all kinds of false doctrines and heretical teachings.

I am also still stoked about the super deals I got at thrift stores recently. I bought a suitcase for $8, a tennis racket for $3, and  a Johnny Cash autobiography for $2. But so far, no tacky Christmas sweaters.

I think that the difference between all the other religions and faiths and Christianity is grace. Religions are all about what you have to do to appease God; Christianity is about what God in Christ has already done, and all you have to do is receive it. Religions are all about working harder and being good enough (although how good good enough is is rarely ever defined); Christianity says you can never be good enough, but you can trust in the perfect life of Jesus and believe that he died in your place.

That’s all for now. More randomness to come in the days and weeks ahead. I can promise you that.

 

Small Comforts

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Tonight, I went for a walk around historic downtown Franklin. I ran into a friendly cat who let me pet him (or possibly her) and even purred. It reminded me of a scene from The Horse and His Boy.

Shasta had escaped from Tashbaan and is waiting for the others near the ancient tombs that are reputedly haunted. He is alone and afraid until he notices a large cat who brings him comfort. The cat, as it turns out, is Aslan in one of his many incarnations. And for you who are not familiar with Narnia, Aslan is a type of Christ.

Also, I remembered the scene from The Voyage of the Dawn Trailer where the ship is in the midst of the island of darkness with little hope of ever getting out. Lucy whispers a prayer and Aslan again shows up, this time in the form of an albatross who says in a voice that only Lucy can hear, “Courage, dear heart.”

Sometimes, the dark seems overwhelming. Sometimes, hope seems hard to find. It seems that nothing will ever change and it is futile to go on hoping for anything better or different.

That’s when God shows up. Often it’s not in a flashy, parting the Red Sea kind of way. It’s not fire coming down from heaven or a burning bush. Often, it is a very small voice that we can only hear when we are still and silent.

Often, God shows up in small ways. A kind word or text at just the right moment. A smile from a stranger. A beautiful sunset at the end of a hard day.

It can look a thousand different ways, but if you and I can look not just with our physical eyes, but with the eyes of faith, we can find these little reminders that God has not forgotten or forsaken us.

 

My Favorite Bible Verse

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“Yahweh your God is there with you, the warrior-Saviour. He will rejoice over you with happy song, he will renew you by his love, he will dance with shouts of joy for you” (Zephaniah 3:17).

That is my favorite verse ever. If I had a top 50 list of Bible verses, this one would be #1 with a bullet.

I still remember where I was when I first heard it and it really sank in. I was on a Union University Baptist Student Union retreat back in ’92 and Chris Rice was teaching that weekend.

I still remember being in awe of a God who was actually crazy about me. It was too good to be true. It is still too good to be true, but it is still true nonetheless.

God delights in me? God rejoices over me? God does a happy dance with loud singing over me? How can that be? It doesn’t always feel true, but it is true, and this verse is proof positive of that fact.

Read that verse in every translation you can get your hands on. It says the same thing. Meditate on it and let the fact sink in that your God delights in you. Your God doesn’t just love you out of an obligatory “I love people because I’m God and I have to love people” kind of way. No. He is crazy in love with you.

Not because you’re good enough or pretty enough or smart enough or talented enough or clever enough. He loves you because you’re you, exactly the way he made you to be.

I know this isn’t an original thought. It’s been said before (and said better) by many others. I’m just faithfully passing along to you the wisdom passed along to me by so many others through so many years.

I hope you wake up tomorrow morning and the very first thought in your head is “My Abba is very fond of me.” I hope that in your head you throw a day-long celebration over the fact that your God wants you and likes you and chose you and loves you very much.

It may not be new information, but all of us need to be reminded from time to time of these things. I know I do.

 

The Love of God

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“Take your human feelings, multiply them exponentially into infinity, and you will have a hint of the love of God revealed by and in Jesus Christ.” (Brennan Manning)

I love what I heard tonight from Kairos. True unconditional love, the kind of love that God has for us, transcends emotions and feelings. It is driven by devotion and commitment. It sacrifices everything for the sake of the beloved to bring out the best in him or her. The kind of love God has for me.

I may not ever have a million followers on twitter. I may never get 100 likes on a facebook post. I may never be known outside of a small circle of family and friends.

But the one thing that boggles my mind, the one thing too incredible to believe, yet still true, is this. The God over the entire universe knows my name. The Creator and Sustainer of all life knows who I am and where I am and what I’m going through. And he loves me.

My God loves me. My Abba Father is very fond of me. That alone gives me worth and meaning and validates my very existence. That alone is enough for me.

Imagine the purest love you have ever received in your life. Take that love and multiply it a thousand times. A million times. Multiply it exponentially. That begins to hint at how much God loves you.

Imagine that love that never wavers, never grows cold, never varies in the least, but remains constant all the time. A love that is 100% 24/7. That is the love of God for you. For me.

If I had one wish tonight, it would be that you know to the very core of your being this incredible love God has for you and that you receive it and believe it with everything in you. That you hang onto that great Love no matter what, knowing that this God works all things together for good to whose who love him and are called according to his purpose.

A Tough Question

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Usually when I’m thinking of what to write about, it’s not the main topic of the sermon or speech. It’s a side comment or a throwaway statement that catches me off guard. Tonight, it was a question that a guy asked that convicted me in a big way.

If God took away your family, friends, possessions, job, money, and all those other props and crutches you lean on, would you still be able to say, “God, I trust in you for my future” or would your mind immediately start churning away with ideas of how you could manage your own life?

The reason the question broad-sided me so much was the underlying question: who are what are you really trusting in at the end of the day? Where does your hope lie?

I think that for me at times my trust has been in a set routine. I have trusted in the fact that I had a comfortable and familiar set of friends who would always be around. I have trusted in income from a job or the security of employment that I thought was guaranteed.

When your props get knocked out, when friends move away or get married or disappear, you find out how much your trust was really in people and not in God. When out of the blue, you get called into the office at work to be told, “Your position is being eliminated,” you find out how much faith you placed in your career instead of Christ.

I truly believe in my mind that if all God did was save me from my sins and never gave me another blessing or did one more thing for me, that would be more than I deserved. But the way I live sometimes gives the impression that I feel entitled to God’s blessings. It shows that I am worshiping the gifts more than the Giver.

I heard a friend say that sometimes you don’t even have to have perfect trust. Even if you have the weakest kind of faith and say, “God, I trust you in this moment and I give this into your hands,” God will honor that. Like a pastor said, “All God needs is a place to start,” a halting, stammering statement of belief that is mixed with fear and doubt and says, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”

It’s not how strong your faith is, but how strong the object of your faith is. Or to put it this way, it’s not about giant-sized faith, but one that;s the size of a mustard seed placed in a great God who is bigger than your circumstances and problems.