confession

Chasing Cool

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Something we talked about at Kairos Roots made me think of the movie Clueless. I realize that the confession that I’ve seen the movie will result in my man-card being confiscated and quite possibly shredded, burned, and the ashes buried in cat litter, but I don’t care. It’s a good movie and there is a point to this.

In the movie, Brittany Murphy’s character starts off desperately trying to fit in and be what everybody else thinks she should be. I’ve done that. Sometimes, it’s like wearing shoes that are one size too small or clothes that may be in fashion but don’t really fit who you are (another hit to the ol’ man card).

The best part of the movie is when she finally is able to be comfortable in her own skin and be who she is, qurks and all, instead of trying to conform to everybody else’s ideas of who she should be.

I think many of us do that because we don’t think that the real you and the real me is good enough. We think nobody will like us if we present our true selves. But the burden of wearing masks and living somebody else’s life can be just as burdensome and overwhelming.

Can I set your heart at ease about this?

God made you and called what he made very good. He thinks you’re good enough. Not every single person in your life will think that way, but  the right people, the ones God puts in your life, will think so. Not only that, they will make a point to remind you and to call out in you those qualities and gifts and talents that you may not even see in yourself.

Surround yourself with these people. Look for those who bring out the best in you and lift you up and want to be around you because you’re you. Not those who want to mold you into something you’re not.

Also, look for those who might need your encouragement. Those who are walking down a path that you’ve already been down. Those who need to know that somebody believes in them and likes them for who they are without them having to play games or wear masks or jump through hoops.

The most powerful people on earth and the greatest examples of the power of the gospel are those who have found their true identity in Christ and are living out of that, empowered by the confidence that comes from knowing they are the chosen and beloved of God.

May we come to the place where we live like that.

Lord, I Believe; Help My Unbelief

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First of all, you should go to Kairos on Tuesday night if you’ve never been. It’s at 7 pm and it’s in the Connection Center of Brentwood Baptist Church off I-65 exit  71 in Brentwood, TN and it’s awesome. Now that I’ve got my shameless plug out of the way, here’s my takeaway from tonight’s service.

While the scribes and disciples were arguing about who was right and who was wrong, a man was pleading with Jesus to heal his son from a demonic possession. He ended his plea with the words, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

How many times have I felt that way? How many times has it seemed that my faith was so small that it barely qualified as belief at all? That I was holding on to a minuscule-sized hope?

I’ve heard that faith always comes with an element of doubt, because if I was 100% certain of something, I wouldn’t need faith. I think that’s true. If I needed perfect faith to get my prayers answered, I might as well stop praying because my faith is always tempered with doubts and fears.

Many times, I need to pray, “Lord, I believe. In whatever way You choose, whether it’s the way I want, show up and have Your way.”

I heard a song tonight that basically said, “Lord, help me to believe what I already know.” Sometimes, I don’t need more knowledge about God or about my circumstances. I need the ability to believe what I already know to be true about God. I need to believe what God has already shown me countless times before.

It doesn’t take great faith in God for change to happen; it just takes faith in a great God. Even if that faith is a minuscule-sized, mustard-seed faith that barely registers a blip on the scale of belief.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

The Broken-Hearted God

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“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Praying on the Armor of God

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I had an epiphany recently. Well, more of a “duh” kind of moment. I realized that I had been neglecting to pray on the armor of God every morning and I could tell the difference.

I was vulnerable and easy prey for the enemy to attack, particularly in my mind. So I started back praying on the armor. I cannot urge you stronly enough to do this EVERY morning. Here’s how I pray the armor on:

“Lord, I take on the belt of truth today. May Your truth hold me together and tell me who I am, not what I’m feeling or thinking at the moment or what my circumstances or other people say.

Lord, I take on the breastplate of righteousness. May Your righteousness be my covering today. Protect my heart and my emotions and keep them centered in You, so that I am not swept away by every feeling or fear that comes my way.

Lord, I take on the shoes of the readiness of the gospel of peace. Help me always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks about the hope I have and may I be able to share Your Gospel with at least one person today.

Lord, I take on the helmet of salvation. Protect my thoughts today from the evil one and help me take every single thought captive and bring it under Your Lordship. Fill me with Your thoughts so that there is no room for thoughts that are not of You.

Lord, I take on the shield of faith. Protect me from the assaults of the enemy today, whether they be physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional. Be my Fortress and Shield and Mighty Defender today, because without You, I will certainly fall.

Lord, last but not least, I take on the sword of the Spirit. Bring Your Word to my mind at every possible moment and help the Bible not to be words on a page or nice sentiments, but Words that transform and change me in a radical way. Help me not only to read them, but obey them.”

You may pray something different. You may physically act out putting on the armor as you pray (I do that sometimes when I feel especially under attack). The important thing is to pray these things on at least once a day if not more.

The battle is real and if you’re not ready, you will be overcome. Choose this day to live as an Overcomer and Conqueror in Christ.

Signs You’re Finally Growning Up

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I am not the most mature person you’ve ever met. Sometimes, I feel like a 10-year old trapped in a 40-year old body, kinda like Tom Hank’s character in the movie Big. But God has been growing me up a lot in the last few years. Along the way, I’ve come to be able to discern and recognize some of the signs of maturity.

1) For us singles: It’s when that girl or that guy you’ve been interested in and secretly hoped was interested in you is not. They’re not interested in you as anything more than a friend. But you find that you can still cherish that person as a friend and be the best friend in return that you can possibly be.

Best of all, you find you’ve come to the place where you can celebrate and rejoice when that person finally finds true love and be genuinely happy for the two of them.

2) For parents: It’s when you can release your children to be what God is calling them to be, even if it’s not what you wanted or had planned for them. It’s when you do everything in your power to find their purpose, even if that purpose leads them halfway around the globe.

3) For all of us: It’s when you can live with unaswered questions and unfulfilled longings and desires. You are able to trust God and keep holding on in faith, even when everything in you and around you tells you not to. You are able to pray the prayer, “Lord, if all I have from You today is You and the next breath, that will be enough.”

4) It’s when you stop praying so much for blessings and start praying to be a blessing. You begin to see people as hurting and broken and needy and you see yourself as a channel through which God can pour out healing and wholeness and love to those around you.

5) It’s when you’re need to be acknowledged and approved of and commended gets less and less and you can be okay with not getting the credit for something you did. You can echo with the words of John the Baptist about Jesus that “I must decrease, that He may increase.”

6) It’s about being okay with being in the process. Being okay with not knowing the answers or even the next step in life because even though you may not know where you’re being led, you know the One leading you. It’s when you can like yourself for who you are, not who you aren’t but want to be.

These are some of the signs that I recognize as part of God’s work in me. He’s maturing me into the man of God and vessel through which He can transform the world. It’s about Jesus reaching out and touching people through your hands and speaking to them with your voice. It’s a very long process, but as I have found, it is so much more than worth it.

Transitions

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I’m in career transition. That’s the politically correct way of saying I’m out of a job. It sounds much better than saying that I got tossed out on my lazy rear.

It’s hard when part of your life that took up so much of your time is now gone. It’s difficult when that routine you’ve gotten so used to is suddenly thrown out on its ear and you feel like you’re in free-fall.

According to Ephesians, those who have come to put their faith in Christ are in a transition of sorts. A life transition.

You who were once without a hope in the world now have an eternal, imperishable Hope that will never fade or fail.

You who were once strangers and outcasts that nobody wanted are now adopted sons and daughters of the King of the Universe and heirs to Heaven.

You were once captives and slaves to your addictions and bad habits and fears are now free to finally and truly be yourselves.

You who felt worthless and without value now know that you are priceless in your Abba’s eyes and that not even the life of His own Son was too high a price to pay for you.

I know what it’s like to feel unwanted and unloveable. I know what it’s like to feel that you don’t matter to anybody and that nobody would miss you or even notice if one day you were gone.

I also know what it’s like to finally believe what Jesus says about me and to begin to live it out. To have people speak life and healing into me on a daily basis and be able to do the same in return.

The best part of the transition is that in God’s eyes, you are already there. You are already holy and perfect and blameless. He sees you as His masterpiece and loves you like you had never messed up to begin with.

Remember that it’s a process and sometimes you won’t feel like it’s working, but it is.

Remember that no matter what, you are still your Abba’s child and He is still very, very fond of you.

Sticking Around

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A few days a go, I posted that one of my greatest fears is that in any relationship I have, the other person will see my flaws and hang-ups and issues and decide that I’m really not worth it anymore.

That’s been a fear of mine for many years. No matter how far I’ve come in God’s healing process, that’s a fear that’s been hard to dislodge.

I have admitted that I’m broken. And I’m not alone. We all are. Some are just better at hiding the scars than others.

Well, this is one broken guy who’s telling you it’s okay to admit that you’re broken. It’s okay to confess that you’re not living out of faith but out of fear most of the time.

For me, it’s still a day to day thing. Every time that old fear rears its ugly head, I have to remind myself what fear stands for: False Evidence Appearing Real. This particular fear is based on a lie that I am not good enough and not worthy of my family or friends. That I don’t have what it takes.

I’ve made a promise to you not to give up on you, regardless.  I do this because God made the same promise to me.

I’m telling you what God’s been telling me. You are good enough. You do have what it takes. You are accepted and loveable just for you. Jesus thought you were to die for.

I will keep telling you until you believe it. It may take you as many times as it took me to finally grasp it not just intellectually with my head, but on a deeper emotional level in my heart.

I will never stop telling you that God is for you, on your side, rooting for you, not giving up on you, but working on you until you become everything He created you to be.

As I’ve said before (one of my favorite quotes from any book I’ve ever read): I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody.

That’s me. A nobody in the world’s eyes, but Beloved in my God’s eyes.

Baggage Part II: Polaroids of the Past

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If you’ve lived long enough to make at least one incredibly stupid decision, you’ve got some of these. Maybe you’re like me with lots of small regrets, moments of time captured in your mind as clear as the images on a polaroid.

They call it flash bulb memory, where you can remember every single detail of a certain moment in time where something in your life changed. Those happen in good moments, in tragic moments, and most of all, in moments where you and I screwed up.

Maybe you are like me and have been carrying around a suitcase full of those images for years. The suitcase keeps getting heavier and heavier as you compile more polaroids of shame and guilt. More moments you would give anything to go back and undo.

Jesus wants those polaroids. Not for the reasons you think. He’s not going to be shocked or surprised by what He sees. He knows about each and every one. In fact, He was there when they happened.

He wants all of these pictures, not to hold them over your head every day or to make you feel perpetually ashamed. He wants to take them from you and case them as far away from you as possible. As far as the east is from the west. As far as the heavens are above the earth.

I am not my mistakes. Neither are you. Who I was in my weakest moments is not who I am. The way you acted all those years ago isn’t really you anymore. If anyone is in Christ, he or she is a brand new creation. Not a better you, but a completely new you.

It’s time to stop being weighed down by the past and start walking in the freedom that comes with new mercies and clean slates each morning. It’s time to really live in the freedom Christ purchased for us, the condemnation-free life that is now ours.

By Faith

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I am an optimistic and positive person for the most part. I usually see the glass half full. Unless it’s when I’m really thirsty, then the glass is empty, ’cause I just drank it all.

Sometimes, I have serious doubts. Sometimes, it feels like my dreams and goals are just out of reach and nothing will really ever change. Sometimes, I’m not even really sure what it is I’m reaching for.

Everybody has those times, if they’re honest. Everybody doubts, everybody questions, and as the old R.E.M. song says, everybody hurts.

The question is, Will you still believe even when common sense tells you not to? Will you speak your faith even when you don’t feel it and the words coming out of your mouth feel fake and fraudulent? Will you still hold on?

The old cliche is true. It really is darkest just before the dawn. I’ve found that just when I feel like I’m at my lowest ebb, that’s when I see God moving in my circumstances and in my life.

The promises of God are just as true in the dark as they are in the light. He is just as faithful in the storm as in the sunshine. He is just as near when you can’t feel Him as when you can.

I’ve said it before many times, but it’s true. What you think may lie to you. What you feel may lie to you. But God won’t. Ever.

So many people in the Bible had times when they felt God’s promises were hopelessly out of reach. I think about David and Abraham as examples. David when he was running for his life from Saul and Abraham when he and Sarah were still childless and eligible for Social Security.

But they held on to the promises of God even when everything in them (and probably everyone around them) told them not to, and that faith was rewarded in the nick of time in God’s perfect timing.

May you and I hold on as tenaciously and as stubbornly as they did.

It will be so much more than worth it in the end.

 

Vessels: Meditation on Kairos Tonight

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I love the illustration Mike Glenn used tonight in Kairos. He spoke of washing down an Oreo with a glass of milk, only to discover at the bottom of the glass some residue left from the dishwasher.

You woudn’t say the top half of the milk was clean and keep drinking. You wouldn’t say the glass was mostly clean. You’d say the glass was dirty.

How can I call my life clean if I have unconfessed sins and hidden bad habits and areas of mine that I’ve not put under the Lordship of Jesus? How can I expect God to use me if I am mostly clean? God doesn’t use lives that are mostly clean.

I need to be completely clean.

But that’s the beauty of it.

I can be clean if I just simply ask. First I confess. I agree with God that I did or said the wrong thing and left undone the right thing. That I chose my way instead of God’s way. Then I repent, turning 180 degrees from my way to God’s way.

Furthermore, if you want to be a vessel used by God, you can’t wait until the storms of life to get ready. You have to be ready.

Mary was already God’s servant when He called her to be the vessel to bring Jesus into the world. Joseph was already a righteous man when God called him to take Mary as His wife and raise Jesus as his own son.

They didn’t wait until God called them to get ready. They were ready.

The beautiful part of all this is it’s never too late to get ready. It’s never to late to ask God to mold and make you into the person God can use to impact the world around you.

Whether you’re 20 or 40 or 60 or 80, God can still take your life and use it to bless many more than you could possibly imagine.

I want to be like the loaves and fishes Jesus used to feed the 5,000. I want to be broken and blessed, so that the pieces of my life can bless far more people than a safe, unbroken life ever could. I want to be confessed and clean and ready when the time comes that God takes my life and uses it as He sees fit.

I hope you do, too.