My 1st Annual Birthday Blog!

Today I turned 39. I enjoyed turning 39 so much, I just might turn 39 again next year. And the year after that. Hey, as long as I don’t look my age, I’m gonna milk this thing for all it’s worth! And for the record, I absolutely refuse to act my age. My driver’s liscense may say 39 (and it’s a real liscense– I promise I didn’t make my own fake ID!), but I feel like I’m in my 20’s. And mentally speaking, I feel like I’m 10.

But I am honestly so thankful to be alive and blessed. I have family who love me and support me! I have friends who I seriously don’t deserve who continue to show me what Christlikeness looks like. I have my God who forgives me and fills every morning with new mercies and every moment with second chances and fresh starts.

I am still a dweeb at times (and I was reminded of that today, too). But I am less dweeby than I was a year ago, so go me! I am not where I thought I’d be at this point, but I am where God wants me to be, so that’s good enough for me. I am in Christ and Christ  is in me, so whereever I am  is a good place!

I finally am realizing this year that I don’t have to fear people finding out the real me and abandoning me. I am who God made me to be and that’s a good thing! People like me for me and they choose to stick around after they find out who I am and see some of my warts and other assorted broken parts. I am amazed that they do, but they do. And I am so beyond thankful for that!

You are not a mistake. You are not an accident. God made you with His own hands and breathed His own breath into you. Then after you fell into sin, He went and bought you back. You were the treasure hidden in the field that Jesus went and gave everything to buy back. You were worth that much to Jesus! You are the apple of your Abba’s eye! Don’t ever forget that.

So, until further notice, my 40th birthday has been postponed indefinitely!

Amen and amen!

True Intercession

I love this idea of intercession: Intercession means that I am praying for some one else when that person can’t find the words for themselves. In a sense, it means I am praying their prayer to God and standing in their place when they aren’t able to stand. It means I am holding them up in a very real sense when I pray.

Intercession also means that I am believing  in faith for an answer for somebody else when that person doesn’t have the faith to believe for themselves. That God has given me an assurance for another that He hasn’t yet given to that person. Or maybe my own peace about that answered prayer for them will  lead them to be more confident and approach God’s throne more boldly.

Intercession means I am praying something for someone and believing for something in that person that they can’t see for themselves. I pray for victory over addiction, wholeness out of brokenness, healing from pain and tragedy, and anointing  for someone when that someone feels hopelessly bogged down in addictions, brokenness, pain, and tragedy and can’t see a way out. I like to believe that sometimes God has allowed me to see in faith a way out for them and to believe for them that they will overcome sooner than they think.

One way I’ve started praying for people is not so much with words. I visualize a small chapel with wooden pews and I see Jesus at the end by the altar. I see myself taking the person I am praying for down the aisle toward Jesus. I then picture Jesus embracing my friend and whispering words of comfort and peace over that person.

We are called to intercede for each other and to bear each others burdens. In a sense, to intercede is to carry someone’s burden. It means I will fight for you and speak your words for you when you can’t find the words. It means standing in the gap for you and praying without ceasing until I see God move in your life.

I would love to pray for any of you about anything at any time. Let me know how I can and I most certainly will not fail to pray for you!

Amen and amen!

Come to Me (What Jesus Says to You in Your Doubt and Pain)

Come to Me all you who are broken, weary, scarred, and too weary to take another step, and I will give you rest.

Come to Me all who toss and turn and can’t sleep for all the thoughts in your head that won’t settle down, and I will give you peace of mind.

Come to Me all who replay past conversations in your mind where you get to take back things you wish you woudn’t have said and say the things you meant to say but couldn’t. I will remind you that what you fear is based on a lie that My perfect love has already cast out.

Come to Me now, and don’t wait until you are cleaned-up or composed or in a proper religious frame of mind. Come now, with your dirt and shame and scars and wounds undressed. Come to Me even though you feel more lost than ever. Don’t bring Me your excuses or promises. Just bring Me you.

And I will give you rest. I will take your fears and scatter them to the winds. I will show you the scars I bear from carrying your shame and guilt so you wouldn’t have to and tell you again that those scars and secrets and shame you hold on to were paid for by My blood.

I will walk beside you and show you the way. I will be in you and I will be the Way. My yoke is so much lighter than the weight you carry, for in my yoke are all your deepest dreams and desires fulfilled and come to life. Everything you looked for in empty relationships and trivial pursuits and chasing after everything else you find in Me. All the peace and the joy and the delight and the contenment are in Me.

Don’t wait until you think you’re good enough or you will never come at all. Come now. I will take care of the healing and transformation. It’s what I do best. My love will consume and captivate and ravish and take you over until my image is formed in you and you are more free to be yourself than ever before.

Don’t argue. Just come. Don’t try to figure it all out and get it systematically categorized. Just come. Don’t wait another second.

Just come as you are.

Never Say Never II: The Sequel

Never say that you can’t change. That you’ve tried and tried to break old bad habits and form new good ones, but it hasn’t worked and therefore it won’t work.

Never say that you have nothing left to learn or discover and that you have God and your theology neatly definted and packaged into a system that you can understand.

Never say that you are beyond hope, even when everyone around you seems to think so and even when some of those have told you so. Never think for a moment that you are too far from God’s reach.

Never say that your addiction or stronghold or struggle has beaten you and that you will never overcome it.

Never say that God has stopped loving you and has given up on you.

Never say never to those dreams and goals that seem unreachable and hopelessly out of sight right now.

ALWAYS believe that the love of Jesus, given time, can change ANYTHING or ANYONE, regardless of where they are. It’s not up to you or your strength or your willpower to make change happen; all it takes is your surrender and openness to let God do whatever He wants in you.

ALWAYS know that as long as you live you will never begin to know all there is to know about God and His ways. Even eternity won’t exhaust the deep well of riches and wisdom that are in God. We will spend eternity fathoming the depths of His love for us and still not come to the bottom.

ALWAYS believe that while God is still God and while He is still good, you will always have hope. There is NOTHING you can do that will cause God to quit on you.

ALWAYS know that those in Christ have already overcome the world and sin. Not only can you overcome your addictions and strongholds, you can through the blood of Jesus be triumphant over them. All it takes is falling at His feet and admitting your absolute dependence, not on the addictions or strongholds, but on Jesus.

ALWAYS believe that God has promised that He will finish what He started in you and He will never be finished with you (in the sense of His walking away in disgust). God has promised to NEVER leave or forsake or stop loving you or stop conforming you into the image of Jesus and God hasn’t broken a promise yet (and He ain’t about to start now!)

ALWAYS know that a God-given dream ALWAYS comes to pass. Believe that if God doesn’t make your dream come true, He has a much better dream in His heart for you. If your goals don’t succeed, know that His goals for you WILL. And His goals don’t end with you. They start with you and end with the whole world hearing about the good news of Jesus.

Never give up or give in, but ALWAYS throw yourself at the mercy and grace of God and ALWAYS surrender to Him and whatever He wants for you. ALWAYS know that God is in you, with you, for you, and on your side.

Amen and amen!

Having a Teachable Spirit

“When you respond in your current circumstances as if you were confident that God is there, you will see God in the circumstances” (Pete Wilson).

One thing I’ve learned over the past year is that I don’t know it all (a real shocker, I know). In fact, there seems to be more and more I am finding out that I don’t know that either I thought I knew or didn’t know I needed to know. Did that make any sense?

The point is that I am learning to have a  teachable spirit. When you or I cease to have a teachable spirit, we are in a very dangerous place and prone to falling into all sorts of error and temptation and wrong choices. When I say I have learned all I need to know and don’t need any more from God or from anyone else, I quickly become not only useless to my faith, but even a detriment to it. People are turned off by me.

A teachable spirit says that there is no person that doesn’t have something to teach me. Every single person, viewed with God’s perspective, has something to speak into my life. Even those people who make me uncomfortable. Especially those who make me uncomfortable. It all depends on whether I am open to what God has to teach me through this person.

A teachable spirit says that no matter where I go, God is there and He is speaking. Am I listening? Am I able to find pockets of silence where I can be still long enough to recognize that still, small Voice and heed what it is saying to me? If I am surrendered and available and willing to learn, I find God speaks through anyone and everything around me.

A teachable spirit says that I can learn something from all I’ve done and all that’s been done to me. Every experience, every hurt, every heartbreak, every joy, every victory has made me who I am and if I look with the right set of eyes, I can see God in each and every one of them.

So my prayer for you is that you are not only teachable, but that you are in each moment expecting to learn something new from God. Be open to whatever and whomever God puts in your path. And the best way to learn is to take what God teaches you and pass it along to someone else. God allowed those events in your past so that you can comfort and encourage and bless those going through the same trials and troubles. In all, practice the art of looking for and thanking God in everything. Then you will see Him in everything.

Amen and amen!

Never Say Never

One thing I’ve learned in my walk of faith is to never say never to Jesus. What I mean is to never say never to anything He is calling me to (and to always say never to sin– that’s pretty much a ‘duh’!) But somethings I will never say never to again.

Never say never to that relationship that seems beyond hope of reviving or restoration. Never give up on that person who’s thrown in the towel and walked out on you.

Never say never to that dream God has placed in your heart that seems impossible right now. Don’t quit even though the vision is so far away you can’t even see it anymore.

Never say never to the place of service that is far outside your comfort zone. Never say what you will or won’t do for God, because one day you just might have to eat those words.

Never say never to that person who annoys or irritates or makes you uncomfortable. Never believe for one moment that God can’t use you in a mighty way in that person’s life and that you might be the catalyst for a miraculous transformation in that person’s life.

Never say never to any place where God is working. Never put limits on how far you will go for God, whether those limits be geograpgical or emotional or any other kind of limit.

Always say an unconditional YES to God, no matter what the question or the demand.

Always have your eyes open, your hands ready to receive, your feet ready to move, your arms ready to embrace, your soul open for God’s love to flow through.

Always believe that for God nothing is impossible, and what seems impossible to you and me is ridiculously easy to God. In fact, one of God’s specialties is turning impossibilities into realities.

So keep believing for that relationship, that dream, that person, that calling. Keep trusting in the God who works ALL things together for the good of those who love Him. Keep hoping that while you are still breathing that grace never runs out and it’s never too late to start over and that every one of those breaths is a second chace and a fresh start.

Keep believing when common sense tells you not to. God is faithful and He will NEVER give up on you. He will NEVER abandon you. He will NEVER stop until you are conformed into the image of Christ. He will NEVER concede defeat. He will NEVER walk away from His work or His people. He will ALWAYS be God and He will ALWAYS be for you and with you and in you.

Amen and amen!

Jesus Found Me

I love what Pastor Mike Glenn says about people who talk about searching for Jesus as if He were lost and needed to be found. No, it’s not Jesus that’s lost; you and I are the ones who wander and stray like sheep. We’re the ones who need to be found, and Jesus is the one doing the searching and rescuing.

I love how no matter where I am, even in a crowd, how Jesus can find me. How in a multitude of voices clamoring for His attention, He can still hear me, even when I can’t find my own voice. How His healing power comes from just touching the hem of His garment. I love how He looks specifically for me, when there are far more attractive and popular and talented people He could be looking for. He looks for me because He wants me. And He calls me by name.

Jesus didn’t just find me when I was a lost sinner. He still comes looking for me when I stray from looking to Him to looking around me at those waves threatening to take me under. When I give in to fear and anxiety, doubt and mistrust. When I think no one could ever see the real me and still want anything to do with me. His still, small voice carries over the roaring waves and His hand finds me just as I am sinking into the turbulent sea.

Jesus always knows where you are and can find you. Whether you’re looking for Him or whether you’re trying your best to be anonymous and blend into the crowd, He can find you. And the best news of all is that He’s not coming to “get” you or punish you or scold you. He’s coming to rescue you. To save you. To redeem your life and give it new meaning and purpose. He is looking for surrendered hearts He can fill with His love to the point that the overflow touches those around you.

No matter what you do for a living, Jesus can enter into it and make it a holy profession, a priesthood. No matter who you are or what you’ve done, Jesus can take you and transform you into an image-bearer of His that will reflect His glory in such a way that the world can’t ignore. They may choose or reject what you have, but they can’t not notice it.

So know that Jesus loves you too much to let you remain lost. Know He’s looking for you and when He finds you, your life will never be the same ever again. And neither will the world.

Amen and amen!

I Love the Way God Works

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I am goofy. I admit that. I don’t think normally and I don’t act normally when I’m nervous (or even when I’m not nervous, for that matter). I am wearing a t-shirt right now that has a clown on it and says, “Normal people scare me.”

While I say all that in jest (mostly), I have to confess that I love the way God works in my life. I love the way He meets me where I am, loves me just as I am, and takes what I have in my hands, no matter how small and paltry and uses it in ways that astound me. I am always amazed at what God can do in and through me when I am surrendered and available. When I am prayed up, confessed up, spiritually armored up. Even when I’m not sometimes.

I love God’s grace because I need it. I love God’s forgiveness because I would be screwed without it. I love His spirit within me, because I know deep down that I couldn’t love anything at all without Him in me. And the more I know of God, the more I love Him. The more I learn about Him, the more I sense my need for Him. All I can do is open up my hands and receive. Even my so-called giving and ministry is simply what spills out of my open hands when I am receiving.

My goal in writing this blog is for you to love God and the way He works as much or more than I do. I want you to know how He sees you and that He is not mad or disappointed in you, but how He cheers for you and is for you and is always with you. How He can take the smallest beginning of surrender and transform your life into something amazing and miraculous. A life that will reflect the glory of God and that will make it impossible for anyone to remain neutral about the God in you. Hopefully, they will be drawn to a God who can make a broken mess into a beautiful masterpiece. Even if not, they won’t be able to see your life changed and remain the same themselves.

I love that God chooses people like me to work in and with. I love that God never gives up on those He chooses. I love that God’s in love with me (and He’s also crazy about you, too). I love that God can take this blog and send it places I would never have dreamed possible and have people read it that I never would have imagined would. I love that God can take anyone at any place at any time and do anything He wants with them.

God amazes me and blows my mind every single day. And I love that about Him!

Amen and amen!

President’s Day Prayer

Lord, it is 12:22 on President’s Day and I come to you confessing that I have once again made it all about me. It’s not. It always has been and always will be about You. What matters is not my own happiness or fulfillment, but Your Kingdom advancing and taking over.

Help me not to ask you to bless my plans and my activities, but help me to find out what Your plans and activities are and join in, because Your work is already blessed. You invite me to be a part of what You’re doing in the world and I so often choose my own little plans instead.

I am selfish at the core. I want to be noticed and liked and admired. But You want so much more from me. You want me to be a vessel You can pour Yourself into and overflow through me to those around me. You want me to be a mirror that reflects Your glorious image to a world that is waiting and watching (stole that one from Pete Wilson!).  If the world looks at me and sees me, then there’s nothing grand about that; if the world looks at me and sees You and what You can do with one simple, surrendered life, they will have to stop and take notice. You can’t help but notice a miracle.

Like Jim Elliott, I want to be a fork in the road that people come to and have to choose one way or another about Jesus. Jesus Himself made neutrality toward Himself an impossibility. Either we are for Him and we are gathering, or we are against Him and we scatter. Hopefully, as Your love takes me over, people will be drawn to You in wonder for what You’ve done in me.

So thank You that after so many times when I’ve made it about me, You remind me gently and tenderly that it’s not about me. You show me in a thousand different ways that You are so much bigger than I imagined and so much better than I ever dreamed You could  be. Your love for me is extravagent and wild and is changing me.

Thank You for not giving up on Me. Thank You for the people who love me and who inspire me to be more like You. Thank you that one day I will look back on all the good the bad and the ugly and it will all have been so beyond worth it, because You will be my reward!

Amen and amen!

More about Grace

Grace looks at my faults and weaknesses and sees not failure, but potential. Grace sees not what I lack, but the places where God’s power can fill in and shine forth most brightly.

Grace never quits offering a hand to pick me up when I’ve fallen. Grace never stops believing in me, even when I’ve stopped believing in myself.

Grace shows up in the small acts of kindness from my family, in the encouraging texts from my friends, in the breeze that warms my heart in the middle of winter and reminds me of a spring still to come.

Grace is knowing I am secure in my Savior’s love and I can’t mess that up, no matter how hard I try. Grace is believing that Jesus really does love me, not in a proper religious way, but in a wild, crazy, passionate way. He delights in me.

Grace means there is never an end to second chances and new beginnings. Grace means that one I’ve forgiven someone 70 times 7, I’ve only just started to learn what it means. Grace means that that my family and friends forgive me, often before I even ask or know I need forgiveness.

Grace is the difference between ordinary and extraordinary, between good and awesome. Grace is all that I never thought could happen to me and what I never dreamed I could be coming true. Grace is all those lies I believed for so long being shown as the lies they are and losing their power over me.

Grace is so antithetical to and opposite of everything the media and society sells and preaches. So much so that if I live by grace I will be a radical in their eyes. If I really align my life with grace, there’s no way that the world can look at my life and not be forced to choose one way or another about who Jesus is.

Grace means that the Kingdom is breaking through, that Jesus has already won, that I am exactly as righteous and holy as God says I am. Grace means that I walk in a victory that is mine now.

Grace means so much more. An eternity will only touch the surface of all grace means. But I know that grace is mine.

Amen and amen.