Lord, you have seen me halfway through the week. You’ve seen me when I was just about ready to quit and give up and You’ve seen me when I was riding the heights. In all the flux of my emotions, You have been the only constant.

Help me to not look at the problems, but to see You in the midst of them.

Help me not to trust myself when I’m feeling good and the world seems doable. Help me to trust You always, in the good and bad.

Lord, I am taking this life one day at a time. I am like everybody else and I tend to forget You and Your goodness. I tend to delude myself into thinking it is all up to me.

Remind me of Who You are daily. Remind me of my need for You. Remind me of how strong You are to save and how gentle You are to hold me when I’m at my weakest.

Most of all, remind me that the best is still yet to come. Remind me that eye has not seen nor ear heard nor has it entered into the heart of man what You have prepared for those who love You. That’s what I wait and hope for.

I wait and hope for You, for You are what my heart desires at the deepest level, even though what I may think and feel would tell me otherwise.

Let me rest in Your promises and seek to prepare myself to receive them.

Last, be with all my family and friends and remind them, too, of Your mighty arms wrapped around each of us. May we shine like lights in dark places and lead people to You. Not only in the dramatic moments, but in the quiet, mundane moments, too. That’s when people are watching.

Thank You that You won’t stop until You’ve given and done everything You’ve promised. Thank You that You Yourself are the Promise that You give to us.

Amen.

Some things that really stood out to me from Mike Glenn at Kairos were these:

Stay with the prayer until you get to the praise. Keep praying, even if your prayer has no words and is only the cry of your heart. Keep seeking and wrestling with God until the blessing comes. Keep crying out until the tears and mourning turn to dancing and joy.

As for blessing, if God showed you His box of blessings and told you that you had already used up all the blessings He had for you, would you be able to say, “I’m good?” If God never gave you anything else– no blessing, no visible reminder of His presense, no comfort nor peace, and all you had was God and God only, would that be enough? Would you be able to say with Job, “The Lord has given and taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord?”

Jesus knows what it’s like to feel alone. His prayer from Psalm 22 expresses the feeling of abandonment when He cries out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” Don’t for a second think that Jesus doesn’t know or understand what you’re going through in any stage of your life. He does. And He knows you better than you know yourself, for He made you.

If the worst case scenario happens, if your plan A fails, God will still be God. His plan B may not be what you would have chosen, but you get all of God in the bargain. You will never look back at where He led you and see how He provided for you during that season and wish you could have had your plan A. Never.

For the record, this is my commentary on tonight’s Kairos message from Mike Glenn. It’s probably random, but that’s the way my mind is going tonight. My prayer for you is that you know always in every season of life, in every sunny sky, and every storm that God is with you, God is for you, and God is in you. Always.

If that’s all you ever take away from all my blogs, that’s perfectly okay with me. I’d be good with that.

To me, love is the ultimate and perfect form of protest. I don’t mean the ooey-gooey butterflies in your stomach kind of crush love. I don’t even mean the romantic flowers and moonlit walks kind of love. This love is much deeper and stronger and wilder than those. This love can only come from God. It’s called agape love.

When the world tells you to say, “Me first,” Love makes you say “You first.”

When the world says that payback is your right, Love says turn the other cheek.

When the world tell you don’t owe anything to anybody, Love not only says to serve but to go the extra mile.

When the world tries to define what a neighbor is, Love says that it’s anyone who is in my sphere of influence who has a need that I can meet.

When the world says, “That’s just the way life is. That’s just the way you are. You can’t change,” Love says “You can’t, but I can.”

When the world hates you and curses you and beats you and spits in your face, Love says, “Forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

When the world asks, “What can be done about all the suffering in the world?” Love gives one cup of cold water to the thirsty, one warm blanket to the naked, one shoulder to cry on for the brokenhearted, one Cross to cling to for the ones who can’t save themselves.

Love inspired 120 disciples to change their world. Love doesn’t accept the status quo or the socially acceptable or the norm. Love won’t stop looking for ways to help the hopeless and give light to the ones in darkness and speak for those who have no voice.

This love isn’t just for the pretty or the popular or the prominent. This love is for the widow, the orphan, the enemy, the outcast, the leper, the broken, the ashamed, the self-doubter. This love seeks out those who need it most but deserve it least.

Love is what brings God’s people together in such a way that people notice and God is glorified. Love is what wins in the end, but love won’t force anyone to be on the winning side who doesn’t want to be. God is love and if He is in us, then we will truly love like He loved us.

And that kind of love speaks louder than any hate speech or picket sign or protest march ever did. Love is the ultimate form of nonviolent resistance. All the power of all the weapons and all the slogans and all the angry rhetoric and all the violence combined can’t even touch the power of Agape Love.

I want that. And I hope you do, too.

Immanuel. It means God With Us. All the time. Regardless. No matter what.

God is with you when you’re living right and have amazing times of intimacy with God, and God is with you when you couldn’t possibly screw things up more than you have and God seems a million miles away.

God is with you when every cell in your body is on fire with passion for Him, and God is with you when you feel colder than a midnight in December in the deepest part of winter.

God is with you when you’re raising your hands in praise and thanksgiving for blessings, and God is with you when you raise your hands to wipe away tears that just won’t stop from a heart that’s breaking and a life that’s crashing down around you.

God is with you when He gives, and God is with you when He takes away.

God is with you when you’re running with arms wide open into your Abba’s embrace, and God is with you when you’re running like Jonah as far away from God as you can get.

God is with you when you feel Him, and God is with you when you feel nothing.

God is with you through victory and overcoming, and God is with you in the addiction that won’t quit or let go that you just fell back into for the hundreth time after promising yet again you wouldn’t.

Immanuel. God is with you forever. God will never leave you or forsake you. He will never cease to be as faithful as the morning sunrise or true as His own promises.

He’s not waiting for you to get your act together or quit sinning or improve yourself. He’s not holding out on you until you get cleaned up and get your house in order to come visit. He’s with you now, where you are and just as you are. Not leaving you that way, for God with us is also God for us and God in us, changing us forever.

God, of all your names, I love the name Immanuel best, for it means you are always with me. I love it because I need it most. I need you most.

Amen.

“Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on their God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment. ” (Isaiah 50:10).

I heard something that specially caught my attention in a sermon recently. Do I trust in God’s activity or His identity. In other words, do I trust more what I see Him doing in my life or do I trust more in Who I know Him to be, based on how He has revealed Himself to me through Scripture and my own past experiences? As the old saying goes, when you can’t see His hand, trust His heart. There’s some truth to that.

So when God seems distant and silent and still, am I confident enough in Who He has declared Himself to be to wait? Will I actively wait, all the while preparing myself to receive what He’s preparing for me? Or will I try scheme and manipulate and coerce God’s plan to fit into my own timetable?

Sometimes I’m able to wait well. Sometimes I am just as crafty and conniving as a Jacob. Sometimes, I am like Abraham and Sarah, who thought they would “help” God out concerning His promise for a son for them. I know what torment that can bring to my own soul. How much unrest and inner turmoil can result. How many sleepless nights are the result.

God has proven Himself faithful to me many, many times. I know He is good and He is able to fulfill all He promised to me. I know He is able to do far above anything I could ask or imagine (and I have a pretty big imagination). I just don’t always wait well. Especially when I wait with no visible reward or result.

I say to me and to you to trust in God’s character more than what you perceive of His activity. I have found that the wait is always worth it and no time spent waiting is ever wasted. And more than anything I could ever recieve from His hand, getting to know God and His heart is the best part of the whole deal.

So I will continue to wait. And trust. And believe.

Here are some of the thoughts I had today and like me, there are random and not necessarily connected or in any kind of order.

1) Yes, I believe that Osama Bin Laden was a criminal who commited the worst sort of heinous acts against humanity and deserved to be punished under human law. But in the eyes of God we are just as much in need of a Savior and His grace as Osama was. We were all enemies of God who deserved hell and God’s wrath when Jesus died for us. But Jesus took that wrath we deserved and all our sins upon Himself. We get life and a new start and more grace than we will ever be able to comprehend. That’s good news.

2) I think I’ve come to the place where I’m a fan of good music. I’ve stopped trying to figure out whether it’s country or pop or Christian or alternative or whatever labels are out there. I think in my book there’s two kinds of music out there. There’s music that moves me and speaks to my soul and music that doesn’t. Period. I try to find as much of the first kind as possible and not think that my tastes in music should be the standard for everybody else. As long as your music moves you, I am all for it!

3) Everything I just said about music applies to movies and books.

4) I think I’m finally getting to the place where I can be brave enough to be weak enough to let Jesus do for me what I’ve tried repeatedly and failed to do for myself. I can’t beat temptation or control my temper or have a good attitude under my own power. I just can’t. I only make things worse. But not only is God able, He’s already doing these things in me. He won’t quit or give up until He’s finished making me into exactly who He wants me to be. And not one iota less than that will do.

5) Apparently, I like lists a lot. I’ve used them a lot lately. No reason.

6) It’s amazing to me how the most powerful and serene moments of peace seem to wash over me when I least expect them and especially when I least deserve them. Not when I’m managing my sin well and have my thoughts in order. Usually, it’s when I’ve just given into temper or a bad attitude and admitted it to myself and God. It’s like a sneak preview of heaven.

There. I’m done. I had no idea what would come out when I started this blog, but that’s usually how these things go. I am ususally the most surprised at what God puts on my heart during these times. Even if I were the only one reading these, it would be well worth it just for my own sanity and peace of mind.

Thanks for reading these and giving me your honest feedback. I will continue to try to be as authentic and true to myself and what God speaks to me as I can. I guarantee it may not always be pretty or always theologically correct, but it will never be dull.

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

I had an odd question today that came to mind. What would Jesus do with Osama Bin Laden? I’m not one to be dogmatic about this, but I have an idea how the conversation might go.

I don’t think Jesus would condemn Osama. After all, He didn’t come to condemn, but to save. I truly think Jesus would say something like, “Osama, I’m coming over to your house for dinner.” I think Jesus would show Osama a God he had never seen, a God of love and compassion and forgiveness.

Look at Zaccheus, a tax collector who robbed people blind. Look at Saul, who later became Paul. He persecuted and killed Christians and was the #1 enemy of the Church before he was radically saved and transformed. Look at any of the disciples, who were far from the elite or cream of the crop. Look at the thief on the cross.

I think Jesus would say that no one is ever beyond redemption. He would say it’s never too late to start over. He would say that His grace is sufficient for anyone, no matter what they’ve done. That Divine Love is more powerful than any ideology or cause or man-made religion or anything else in this world.

Did Osama deserve to die for all his wrongs? Yes. Do we deserve to die for all the times we’ve sinned and rebelled against a Holy God? Yes. But we got grace instead, because we said YES to Jesus. I wonder if Osama ever heard someone tell him that Jesus loved him. Maybe. Maybe not.

I guess what I’m driving at is that we can’t ever give up on anybody ever. We can’t condemn anybody because that could be any of us but by the grace of God. All we can do is love Jesus and believe that through Him everybody is welcome, nobody is perfect and anything is possible (something I borrowed from Cross Point Church).

That’s all.

I’ve been reading over the Beatitudes in Matthew 5 and I’ve thought what some of these would have sounded like to modern ears. For people like you and me, living and breathing and eating and working in the 21st century world. Maybe something like this:

1) You’re blessed when you’ve admitted you’re hopelessly caught up in your addictions and can’t free yourself, because in surrender there is freedom and liberty.

2) You’re blessed when you’ve quit being religious and started being real, when you take off the masks you’ve been wearing for so long and be yourself, warts and broken pieces and all, because you’ve given God a place to start in your life and that’s all He needs.

3) You’re blessed when you stop pointing fingers at everyone else for what’s wrong with the world and start pointing that finger at the figure in the mirror looking back at you, because the first step of healing and restoration  begins with admitting you’re the one who is sick and needs a Doctor.

4) You’re blessed when you won’t rejoice in the death of another, no matter how depraved or despicable  that person’s actions are, because you know that the only reason that person isn’t you is the nonstop grace of God at work in your life.

5) You’re blessed when you can look at your enemy and smile and forgive them even when they’re still hurting you, because you know that Love is stronger than hate or rage or fear and the Jesus in you is always stronger than whatever or whoever you’re facing.

6) You’re blessed when you can freely admit that you don’t have all the answers or have God all figured out, when you admit that you can’t make it on your own, that you are desparately in need of God to come through for you or you will fail miserably, because that’s always when God shows up in your world.

7) You’re blessed when you know that the very thing God wants from you is just for you to say that you don’t deserve Him or anything He can give you, that there is no reason He should bother with you, other than what Jesus has done for you on the Cross and how He took your place. How His perfection and righteousness are yours. That you surrender yourself and lay down your rights and own plans and follow Him to any place or person He leads you to. These are the kind of people God wants to change the world with.

8) You’re blessed when your prayer every morning is “Help me! Help me Help me!” and your prayer every evening is “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Because you’re headed in the right direction. You have God on your side and He’s not about to leave you or abandon you. He may take you down some roads you would not have chosen, but He will be with you every step of the way and He has promised in the end to get you Home on time.

May these and many more blessings be yours now and always!