blessing

Communion

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I took communion today as a part of the worship service. It really hit home and reminded me of how great the price Jesus paid for me. If I had a communion prayer to express my thoughts, it would go something like this:

When I was lost and couldn’t find You and couldn’t even find myself, You came down and found me.

When I was dead to you and the things in life that really matter, You made me alive to the wonder and beauty of the world You made and mostly, alive to You and alive in You.

When I was a stranger and an outcast looking in from the outside, You took me in and made me one of Your own and called Me Your child.

When I was a captive to my sin and fears, You opened the doors to my prison and set me free forever.

When I was exhausted and couldn’t find rest from all the anxious thoughts running around in my head, You simply said, “Come to me and I will give you rest.” You took those anxious thoughts from me and gave me sweet sleep.

When I was in darkness, You were the light that helped me find my way.

When I was Your enemy, You loved me anyway and paid much too high a price because You thought I was worth dying for.

When I felt alone, You were with me in the night, holding me in Your arms and rejoicing over me with singing.

When I couldn’t speak, You were my Voice. When I couldn’t pray, You were my Prayer. When I couldn’t sing, You were my Song.

When I was weak, You were my Strength. When I had nothing in me to give, You were my Sacrifice.

As I take your bread, I remember Your body broken so that I might be whole and healed. As I take your wine, I remember Your blood spilled out completely for me that my broken pieces might be put back together again.

With this communion, I say again, “Thank you for my life. It’s Yours for whatever, whenever, and however You want to use it. Pour it out for others. May it be broken and blessed to feed the multitudes. Make me a blessing and an answer to prayer and Jesus to someone today.

Amen.

What Jesus Said to Me Today

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“My child, you have been listening to your fears again.

Those fears told you lies with just enough truth in them to deceive you. Those fears told you that your friends will see your faults and leave you. Your fears told you that I am not enough, that my provision is lacking, and that you need something more than Me.

When I died, I defeated the Master of all Lies once and for all. His lies have no more power over you except that which you give them. If you listen to the lies, you let them control you and have power over you, but if you listen to My voice and fear Me only, the lies lose their power.

All you have to do is speak My name over these lies. Believe that My love is more powerful than any pain, any hurt, any half-truth, any stronghold, and any temptation you face. I have overcome them all and in Me you are more than a conqueror.

I have you safely in the palm of My hand. Nothing can get to you to harm you and nothing can come near you that I haven’t allowed.  I will protect you and surround you with My love and fill you with My peace. I will sing songs over you that remind you that You are Mine.

I love you. You are my BELOVED. Nothing will ever change that. No lie can erase that. Sleep in this truth and know that I am with you now and forever.”

Unwanted

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I heard a beautiful story today in a sermon. The story was about 200 or so girls born in a village in India where boys are preferred. The fathers all named them “Unwanted,” because they were hoping for sons.

Later, these girls had a chance to get new birth certificates and choose their own new names. They chose names like “Wanted” and “Happy” and “Beautiful”.

In the same way, some of you have felt Unwanted at times. I know I have. I have a family who loves me and wants me, but some of you had parents that didn’t want you or gave you away or left you.  Maybe it was a husband or a wife. Maybe a son or a daughter. Maybe a close friend. They as much as told you that you were Unwanted.

Have you ever been at a party and felt left out and like you were not wanted there? Have you ever been in a large crowd and felt completely alone, like no one understood you or your circumstances? You thought to yourself that you might as well have been wearing a name tag that read Unwanted.

 Have you ever come to the conclusion in the dark watches of the night that the world would have been better off without you in it? That you are a worthless waste of space?

The good news of the gospel is that through the cross, God is calling the Unwanteds of the world and giving them a new birth certificate and a new name. Your new birthday is the day you said YES to Jesus and his forgiveness bought by blood.

Your new name is what God has chosen to call you. Wanted. Beautiful. Forgiven. Blessed. Son of the King. Daughter of the King. And, my very favorite of all, BELOVED.

When it felt like no one else wanted you, God did. He died to prove it. He still wants you to be a part of what He’s doing. He wants to take the broken and shattered pieces of your heart and your life and put them back together.

He wants to take your unholy mess of a life and transform it into something that shines and radiates the glory of Christ. He wants to take your scars and pain and make them testimonies. He wants to take you and make you a beautiful and glorious witness to the power of His love. He wants you.

If you say YES to Jesus, there’s no telling what He can do through you. You’ll never cease to be amazed at all God does in you and how He uses your hands and feet to bless those in your life. If He could turn the 1st century world upside down through 12 nobodies, imagine what He can do with you!

I can’t wait to see what that will be.

Blessed

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 I could some up my life right now in one word it would be . . . . chocolate. No, not really, although chocolate does take me to a happy place. My life could be summed up nicely by the word “blessed.”

I am so blessed. I have great family, great friends, and a great God who loves me so much more than I deserve. He loves me so much I can’t stay the same. I can’t receive all that love and not become a better person, one who looks more and more like Jesus every day.

I am blessed that I know how my story ends. I know that one day all the injustice and wrong in the world will be made right. I know that everything I’ve gone through that didn’t make sense will make perfect sense and I will see it as what drew me closer to Jesus.

You who read this blog are part of the blessing. You never do realize how much your texts or posts or notes or spoken words mean to me. Sometimes, God has spoken through you to me at just the right time with just the right words to keep me going. You’ve helped me make it through some days.

If I never had another dream come true, if I never had another desire fulfilled, and if I never had another visible expression of God’s goodness, I would still be blessed. If God told me that I had used up all my blessings and had none left, I would be good. I’ve had more than my share already.

I do think there’s more to come. The Psalms say to taste and see that God is good. I have tasted and seen and it is better than any buffet or feast. The love of Jesus is truly better than wine and that love keeps getting better with age.

I will forget this, so keep reminding me. When you forget, I will remind you. That’s what the community of faith is all about. My favorite definition of a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Jesus knows my song and He’ll keep singing it over me night after night until I have learned all the words and can sing it for myself. I think my song starts off something like “All the way my Savior leads me, What have I to ask beside?”

Tired Thinking

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I am strange and unusual. I have come to accept that and I am fine with it. I have weird thoughts and say weird things sometimes. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain awkward.

I have learned that when I am extremely tired, my thoughts take on a life of their own. When I am exhausted, my thoughts don’t trend toward happy places. I go negative and dark and self-loathing. I am suspicious of other peoples’ motives and think the worst is going to happen.

I have thoughts like, “See how that person didn’t respond to your post? He/she is really mad at you,” or “See? That person has had it with you and you won’t ever hear from them again.” Or “You really are no good. You don’t deserve anything good.”

The irony is that tired thoughts will keep you awake, mind churning and your insides writhing, and make you even more tired than before. If you let them, they can take you to a place of hopelessness and despair and isolation, not a good place to be.

I’ve learned a few things. First, I know better than to trust my feelings, especially when I’m tired and my defenses are down. I like what I heard, that your thoughts and feelings will lie to you, so you go with what you know to be true about God.

Second, I have to realize that not all the thoughts in my head are from me. Satan can put a thought in my head and make me think that I thought of it. That’s where it helps to pray out loud that God would bind Satan from your thoughts.

Third, I have to tune in to what God is saying about me. I have to listen to the Voice that is saying good things about me. If I can quiet my thoughts, I can hear the sweet voice of my Abba singing over me, like He does every night.

Finally, I know that in the morning, things will seem a whole lot clearer and all those dire thoughts about people who hate me and have abandoned me don’t seem quite as convincing. When you call something by its name, it loses its power over you.

My prayer is that you can have a calm and quiet soul. Psalm 131 talks about being like a weaned child with its mother. That’s how God wants us to be with Him. Completely trusting, utterly abandoned, and resting in His everlasting arms. After all, it’s not what you say about yourself that matters, but what God says about you. And He is saying good things if you only have ears to hear.

What’s Important

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I’ve been thinking all day about my friend Nathan’s family, particularly his wife and 6-year old son. They said goodbye to him for the last time last night. It was also he and his wife’s 12th anniversary.

I also kept thinking about how I lost touch with him all those years ago and never really thought about him until he was almost gone. I rejoice that he is whole and happy and with Jesus, but I regret that I didn’t make the effort to reach out to him.

My lesson for today that I had to learn all over again is this: life is precious and fleeting and by no means guaranteed. Today is all you have. Cherish every moment of it and don’t ever take it for granted.

The same goes for the people in your life. Never let a day go by without letting the people in your life know how much they mean to you. Work is important, but if it gets in the way of the people you love and who love you, then you’ve lost the mission. To-do lists, schedules, and activities aren’t nearly as sacred as loving the people in your life while they’re in your life.

I heard a pastor say that only two things are eternal: God’s Word and God’s people. That’s so very true. Five years from now, you won’t remember what grade you got on a paper or what you did at work or how many checks you had on your list of things to get done. You will remember those people that touched your life and encouraged you when you desparately needed it. You will carry their love inside you even after they’re gone.

Call someone and let them know you’re thinking about them. Text someone and let them know what they mean to you. Say, “I love you,” and don’t just assume the person knows. Go out of your way and deliberately stop your business to reach out to someone. Your words and smiles and hugs and kindness could be what helps that person survive through that day. You could be Jesus reaching out and loving that person and beginning the healing process.

Nathan, for what it’s worth, I was blessed to have you for a friend and to know you. I love you, brother, and I will miss you every day. See you on the other side.

Grace Moments

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Today, I took my lunch at 11:30. I almost always take my lunch at noon, but for whatever reason, I took my lunch today at 11:30. I got a call from a friend of mine who had free tickets to see Casting Crowns at the Bridgestone Arena and wanted to know if I wanted to go. I was thinking in my head “Is Bill Gates rich? Does the Pope wear funny hats? Heck yeah!”

So I ended up at Bridgestone Arena in the club seat section, witnessing one of the best Christian concerts I have ever been to. It was a very good night. I may feel like a zombie, but I am one content and satisfied zombie.

Mark Hall, the lead singer for Casting Crowns, said something that grabbed my attention. He said that God sees your future as a memory. He’s already in it. He’s on the other side of it.

He talked about life as a kind of parade that we’re stuck in, watching the floats go by and waiting for the candy at the end. Some of the floats make no sense to us and we sometimes wonder if the parade will ever end. God sits above the parade and sees the whole thing from beginning to end.

Some parts of our lives make no sense to us. The pain seems senseless, the tragedy seems pointless, and nothing ever seems to get better. The good news of the gospel is that we have a God who is on the other side of the pain. Not only that, He’s with you in the midst of pain. He was there when you received the wound.

The beautiful part about Jesus being outside of time, as one pastor said, is that He can go back to the point in time where that person wounded you and heal you so that you’re no longer bleeding into the present.

And yes, if you look, you can find moments of unexpected grace even in the pain. Moments where you catch a glimpse of the glory that’s on the other side waiting for you. Moments that give you hope to get through.

Jesus has got a strong-arm grip on you and He’s not about to let you go. Nothing, not the pain, not the storm, not even you, can separate you from God’s love. That’s worth celebrating. That’s grace.

A Blessing Blog

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This is my blessing to you (although I’m not Irish, so this may not be as good):

May you awaken every morning with renewed hope and mercies that never run out.

May you feel the embrace of your Abba as He hold you in His everlasting arms.

May you hear His voice whispering to you throughout the day, calling you beloved.

May you remember the price Jesus died for you to take away your sin and be filled with gratitude.

May you also remember the joy you knew when you found your true First Love in Christ for the first time.

May Christ dwell in you richly and may He shine through you so that people want this Jesus that you have.

May you see the hurting around you with God’s eyes and feel their pain with His heart.

May you always be willing to love those Jesus loved, especially the broken and the outcast.

May you know that you yourself are loved more deeply and more perfectly than you could possibly imagine (and then some!)

May you rest in the arms of your Father God at the end of the day.

May you hear Him dancing and singing over you in the night and may your dreams be filled with His glory.

May you take hold of the fact that at no point will this Love ever let you go or desert you or in any way diminish. May you find that as you grow older you see more and more of your weaknesses and find that God’s strength works best in those weaknesses.

That’s all. Thank you again for reading my blog. Each of you are a blessing to me and I thank God for you all the time.

Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given

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lifeofthebeloved

“During the meal, Jesus took and blessed the bread, broke it, and gave it to his disciples: Take, eat. This is my body” (Matthew 26:26).

I’m in the middle of another Henri Nouwen book and I am loving it. He more than any other writer (except for maybe Brennan Manning) always seems to speak to where I am right here and now.

He says, “To identify the movements of the Spirit in our lives, I have found it helpful to use four words: ‘taken,’ ‘blessed,’ broken,’ and ‘given.'”

I had never thought about it that way before. I never looked at Jesus breaking the bread at Passover and made an analogy to my own life.

We are taken (or chosen) by God who loved us from the start. We are blessed by Him with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. We are broken by our own sin and the broken and marred world we live in with so much poverty, injustice, and inhumanity. We are given to be God’s hands and feet to bring healing and justice and compassion into the world.

I read somewhere that my life is loaves and fishes. Remember the ones that Jesus used to feed the 5,000? In and of myself, I can’t do much. But if I am blessed and broken and poured out, God can bless so many more through me.

News flash: God takes and uses broken lives, scarred hearts, screwed-up pasts, and promises left unfulfilled. He can use anybody. In fact, He more often than not prefers the outcasts and nobodies and failures to be the ones to turn the world upside down (see the 12 disciples for examples).

Lord, may I be taken by You, Who chose me before I was born and gave me the name Beloved, and blessed with as much of You as I can stand. Break my heart for the things that break Yours and then give me out to those in need.

PS The book I’m reading is Life of the Beloved. Expect more blogs to come out of this. I’m not even halfway through. And, to throw in yet another shameless plug, go buy or download or pilfer or ingest this book as soon as humanly possible. It’s that good.

A Christmas letter to my future wife

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image

I’m still waiting for you. And did I mention the whole “not good at waiting” part? More accurately, how badly I suck at waiting? I’m getting better, but I am still very impatient 95% of the time. But I know that this waiting will not have been in vain when I meet you.

I keep thinking of our firsts– first kiss (obviously), first snow to hold hands and walk together through, first night in front of a roaring fireplace, first time we’re both snuggled under the same blanket. . . . so many firsts that are yet to come. The best part will be that we didn’t give up and settle, but held out and found out that miracles do still come true.

I am leaning to stop looking for you with my eyes, and look for you with my heart. I will look for you not through my own eyes, but more and more through God’s eyes. I want to fall in love with your compassionate heart and your tender spirit. Your beauty will be Jesus inside you shining through for the world to see. Or at least for those who have eyes to see.

Remember no matter what anyone tells you you are, you are a daughter of the King. You are royalty– a princess. Don’t let anyone ever treat you as less. You were worth every drop of Jesus’ blood not because of anything in you, but because Jesus set His heart on you and declared you worthy.

I think I am slowly but surely becoming the man who will capture your heart and be worthy of your love. I have bad days when I strive and fail and I have days full of grace when I am finally weak enough to let Jesus do it all. That’s all I can do.

I am thanking Jesus for you in advance and thanking you in advance for being faithful to Jesus and never giving up on me. I’ll be thinking of you a lot this Christmas.