birthday

Happy Birth-Month to Me: The Sequel

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Yes, it’s here again. February, my birth-month.

I decided that since I got gipped on having a birthday on a such a short month, I might as well milk it for all it’s worth and celebrate for all 28 days.

I’m thankful to be turning 45 this year. I have times when I wish I were still in my 20’s, but I’m in a better place mentally and spiritually (if not physically).

I wouldn’t want to go back to change anything, but sometimes I think it’d be nice to relive some of my experiences through 45-year old eyes. I have a feeling I might appreciate them a bit more than I did.

Regardless, I like who I’m becoming more and more because I realize more and more how God has been guiding and molding my circumstances all along to lead me toward Christlikeness. I truly see way more than I used to how He works all things (and not just the good and pleasant and comfortable things) for my good and His glory.

As usual, for my birthday I am accepting all major forms of payment. I also really like gift cards, especially to places where they have coffee. I won’t even mention my Amazon wish-list which gets bigger and more ridiculous with each passing day.

Seriously, I’m thankful above all for the gift of being alive. I know too many who didn’t make it to 45, so I don’t ever take it for granted.

I’m also thankful for every one of you reading these words. You have a multitude of other choices, plus a plethora of offerings on Netflix that you could be catching up on, but you chose to read my blog posts instead.

I’ve already bought my annual birthday present to me. I have a ticket to see Robert Earl Keen at the Franklin Theatre on March 23. I give myself such good presents.

Happy birth-month to all of you lucky enough also to be born in February. I think it’s the best birthday month.

 

I Just Realized

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So I set a new record for myself: most days lived. Granted, all that was required of me to accomplish this feat was not to die in my sleep or fatally trip over something on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night , both which I manage to avoid most every night.

Today’s my birthday. For the record, I accept all forms of payment: cash, checks, major credit cards, etc. I also have a short birthday list for those of you feeling especially generous. And I mean ESPECIALLY generous.

1) One Mac Book Pro laptop (so I can write better blogs and look infinitely cooler whilst doing so)

2) One red Mini Cooper (preferably with the British flag emblem on the roof and/or side-view mirrors)

And now back to reality.

I’ve been cutting out bread and sugar for the most part, but today I allowed myself to indulge in some rolls and some very fine chocolate malt cheesecake. I figure calories don’t count on your birthday or on other major holidays and special occasions.

I took a short break from my Lent sabbatical from social media, i.e. Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and all those other wonderful time-suckers, to check up on all my birthday greetings. I had a lot. That made me feel special to know so many amazing people who I can call friends and family. And if you’re reading this and you’re one of the ones who posted on my Facebook page wishing me a happy birthday, then I send my thanks to you as well.

So tomorrow, it’s back to no breads, no sugar, and no social media. At least until Easter Sunday (for the social media). I suppose that by then I will have broken my personal record for most days lived yet again, God willing.

I’m Offically As Old As Elvis

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Well, ok. The secret’s out. I’m really not 39 (again). I’m 42, the same age as Elvis was when he passed (no pun intended).

I had a great birthday. It started out with a fantastic lunch at Loveless Cafe with my mother. I even got in a nap (one of the few perks of being unemployed). I even got my taxes done. It was a great day.

It was another day where I chose to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I chose to be thankful for all that I have instead of lamenting all that I lack. Like a job. Or money.

But I still have my wonderful family. I still have some truly amazing friends (to which I say thank you for all the Facebook birthday well-wishes). I have good health and a good God who always takes care of me.

I have the laziest (and most companionable) cat in the world. She celebrated my birthday the way she celebrates most days– with a marathon nap.

As I’ve mentioned before, a birthday is a way of celebrating survival, of making it through another year. I know I’ve talked about knowing too many people who won’t get to see their 42nd birthday, but it’s true.

Life isn’t something you should ever take for granted. It is a gift. Every day of it is a precious, once-in-a-lifetime gift that will never come again. So live it well.

By the way, I’m still accepting all forms of payment and gifts for said birthday. Just kidding. Sort of.

Three Days Till My Birthday!!

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First of all, I couldn’t think of anything worth blogging about. Not a thing. Sometimes that happens, especially when you have to come up with a new topic every day.

So I’ll blog my birthday wish list. If money were no object, I’d like:

1) A red Mini-Cooper, preferably with the British flag emblem on top.

2) A MacBook Pro laptop with retina display (white, please).

3) The complete Friends TV series on blu-ray.

4) Dinner at Loveless Cafe.

5) Gift cards to anywhere, but ideally to McKays, Best Buy, Starbucks, Frothy Monkey, and amazon.com.

6) Lots of wells being built in Africa so the people there have access to clean water.

7) Getting to hang out with YOU.

8) Officially ending every form of human trafficking.

9) Every orphan finding a forever home.

10) One of the original slinky toys.

11) Anything and everything on my amazon.com Wishlist.

Yeah, my birthday is in three days. I will be as old as Elvis was when he died, which is both odd and disturbing. But the good news is that I will still be alive, which is more than I can say for too many people who died way too young.

I’m thankful for life and I realize how precious a gift waking up every morning is. And yes, I do take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, cash, coins, . . . . . .

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

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“Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.” (Henri Nouwen)

I’ve posted and blogged and mentioned multiple times before how the hardest person to forgive is often yourself. You know yourself too well and you know your own weaknesses because a certain adversary reminds you of them every single day.

I know I’ve blown it with a friend and the friendship won’t ever be the same again. We used to hang out and be good friends but now she won’t even sit on the same side of the room as me and we feel like really good acquaintances.

There are one or two (including that one at Starbucks) who have taken to actively disliking me and nothing I say or do will change that. For me, I have to remember that I can’t be friends with everyone and that it’s not my job to make every single person like me. It’s my job to be the best me possible.

But forgiveness isn’t optional. Not with others and especially not with ourselves. How dare I choose not to forgive myself when God (who incidentally knows me better than I do) has freely forgiven me? And why would I want to live under a cloud of condemnation when I don’t have to?

No one does relationships well. We mistrust each other. We read too much into silences and jests. We say the wrong things and fail to say the right things. Most of us have gotten used to the taste of shoe leather from sticking our feet in our mouths so often.

But real friendship between two believers is the Jesus in me communing with the Jesus in you. It’s practicing forgiveness and grace and blessing, giving these abundantly because we know our desperate need for all of the above.

You are not your past. Or your mistakes. You are not the names you’ve been called or that you’ve called yourself.

You are:

Redeemed

Forgiven

Blessed

Child of God

Beautiful

Beloved

To Die For

The One Your Abba Is Still Very Fond Of

May we speak not hurt but life, not wounds but blessings into each other. May we always look to see the best in ourselves and in others and call out the beautiful and glorious in each other. May we learn to love others and ourselves the way God has always loved us.

Joy in the Midst of Sadness

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I celebrated with the rest of the family as my niece turned 2. Finally, I can stop counting in months. I was seriously running out of fingers and toes to count on.

I loved seeing the pure unadulterated joy on her face when she saw her presents and the complete love and trust she has for her mommy and daddy and two big brothers. It did my heart good.

But I also remembered Adrian Peterson’s 2-year old son who was allegedly beaten to death by his mother’s boyfriend. My heart hurts and I have questions I can’t answer.

Who does that to a 2-year old? For what possible reason?

I know we live in a broken world filled with broken people. Creation groans for deliverance and for everything to be made right. Too many defenseless and helpless children suffer, too many people go to bed hungry, too many marriages fall apart, and too many die way too young.

Then I remember how this story ends. I cheated and read the last page. It’s about God wiping away every tear from our eyes. It’s about a new Jerusalem, a new heaven and a new earth where lambs lie safely next to lions, where others is no need for sun, moon, or stars because God is there.

I love what the guest pastor said. God didn’t want an only child, so He chose us to be conformed to the image of His Son Jesus and become heirs with Jesus to all the promises of God.

I love this version of Romans 8:29-30: “God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.”

That’s what keeps me going in the midst of so much suffering and sadness. That’s why I can find joy in everything. Because ultimately Love does win.

Things I Love 39: If It’s Not Fine, It’s Not the End

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“The joy of small that makes life large. Hadn’t I personally experienced it before too, that vantage point that gave a sense of smallness before grandeur? At the tip of the Grand Canyon, peering into the carved earth, the vastness of the hewn and many-hued chasm. A late June night peering into the expanse of heavens nailed up with the named and known stars. A moon field. I hardly dare brush the limitlessness with my vaporous humanity. But the irony: Don’t I often desperately want to wriggle free of the confines of a small life? Yet when I stand before immensity that heightens my smallness – I have never felt sadness. Only burgeoning wonder.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Most of what I’m thankful for are the small things that most others take for granted. Or things that remind me of how small I am in the grand scheme of things. Truly, some of the best things in life come in small packages (like the feline package curled up and asleep in my lap as I write these words. So, starting at #1,176, this journey of thanksgiving continues.

1,176) Even the possibility of a Friends TV show reunion.

1,177) Just under 11 pounds of sleeping fur in my lap.

1,178) That to live is Christ and to die is gain– the best win-win ever.

1,179) Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches at The Arcade in Memphis, TN.

1,180) The feeling of finally having a job after 14 months without one.

1,181) Seeing my prayers for a job answered.

1,182) A blue sky filled with white clouds.

1,183) Another Kairos Night of Worship coming up next Tuesday.

1,184) The songs of birds on a sunny day.

1,185) My friend Erica Grant’s smile.

1,186) Not feeling the need to be anyone else but myself.

1,187) Knowing that at any moment people are praying for me.

1,188) A momma deer with her baby.

1,189) That huge feeling of relief when I paid off the last of my student loans.

1,190) The freedom that comes with truly forgiving someone.

1,191) Wednesday being “hump daaaay!”

1,192) Icy Hot on a sore muscle.

1,193) Finally having a little bit of a tan on my legs so they’re not so ghastly white anymore.

1,194) “Living the dream,” as my friend Michael Boggs puts it.

1,195) The extended prayer times at Kairos.

1,196) Getting free tickets to Titans games.

1,197) Scrolling through friends’ homepages and seeing all their photos (but not in a stalker kind of way).

1,198) Imagining the things my cat would say if she spoke human.

1,199) Just about any vehicle that is over 50 years old.

1,200) Posting about my new job and already having 40 likes and 6 comments.

1,201) Watermelon (especially after reading all the amazing health benefits).

1,202) The fruit tea at Calypso Cafe.

1,2o3) That another episode of Friends starts in 15 minutes.

1,204) Newborn puppies and kittens.

1,205) Muting an annoying commercial.

1,206) Having caller ID to avoid the telemarketers.

1,207) Those rare movies where the nerd gets the pretty girl at the end.

1,208) Adding stuff to my amazon.com wish-list.

1,209) Bringing a smile to a total stranger’s face.

1,210) Knowing that there will be at least one more of these Things I Love posts.

Things I Love 32: Everything Will Be Fine in the End

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“The prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the reading of stories, they survive fire” (Ann Voskamp).

“I don’t really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done-yesterday” (Ann Voskamp).

The way I figure it, I have only two of these left. Then again, I was never good at math. And who knows? Maybe I’ll be a rebel and add one extra just for the fun of it. Why stop at 1,000? Why stop at all? Gratitude means you never stop counting your blessings that you become aware of as you number them one by one. So that said, I start again at #936.

936) Making my triumphant return to swing dancing tonight at Centennial Park.

937) How anyone who has ever worked in a corporate environment can relate to the movie Office Space.

938) The Greek on the GO! Strawberry Granola Bites. You can’t have just one. Or at least I can’t.

939) Whenever my family gets together.

940) That I’m losing my mind and as long as I don’t lose the part that tells me when to pee, I’ll be just fine.

941) Reading The Horse and His Boy again for probably the 15th year in a row.

942) Having “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” as my new text and email alert on my iPhone.

943) Mild summer days with low humidity.

944) Having my only expectations be that God will keep all His promises to me.

945) The Dream of someone.

946) Using Inappropriately Captalized Letters At Random.

947) Having access to the Throne of Grace 24 hours 7 days a week.

948) Sometimes my only mode of transportation is a leap of faith (borrowed from a Facebook post).

949) That I don’t have to fire cannons to call attention to my shining; all I have to do is shine (from D. L. Moody).

950) Borrowing quotes and ideas from people on Facebook.

951) Being able to highlight verses in my YouVersion Bible app on my iPhone.

952) Having all my Christmas music on my laptop in case I ever feel the need for Christmas in July (or August).

953) Office chairs that swivel and spin.

954) Saturdays when it’s not raining.

955) Ditto for Sundays.

956) Not having been hit by any cars in the last 6 months.

957) Being alone and praying in Baskin Chapel at Brentwood Baptist Church.

958) Every time someone accepts my friend request on Facebook.

959) The way when I’m in a serious moment of silence and my stomach suddenly decides to do a spot-on impression of a whale’s mating call (borrowed this one from Pinterest).

960) That the walk of faith is not about seeing the whole journey but taking the next step.

961) That my hope isn’t in a President but a King.

962) Knowing the Kingdom of God is now and not yet.

963) Nerds candy.

964) Big League Chew bubble gum.

965) Meeting an Asian person who hates all Asian food (and thus busting another stereotype).

966) Asian food of just about any kind.

967) All George MacDonald’s fantasy stories.

968) How much I can relate to John Cusack’s characters in just about every one of his movies.

969) Living in the moment and finding God there.

970) My friend at Ultimate Frisbee who looks like Amanda Seyfried and who always makes me smile.

Things I Love 19: Yay, I Finally Finished the Book!

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“…the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is” (Ann Voskamp).

I’ve probably quoted half of the book on my facebook page by now. I’m sure I’m in serious violation of some copyright laws somewhere, even though I did give Mrs. Voskamp credit for every single quote. I’m sure my friends are probably either sick to death of this book or waiting for their own order of the book to come in through amazon.com.  That being said (and it was short and pointless), I start out with #481.

481) The smell of coppertone suntan spray.

482) Remembering my uncle for the amazing father he was (and wishing I could hug his neck once more).

483) My eternal optimism that one day I will get through Candy Crush Saga level 33. I’m not defeated just yet.

484) Not getting what I deserve, especially what I think I deserve, but getting something so much bigger and better.

485) My bathroom air freshener that smells like oranges.

486) My friend (who will remain nameless) who always encourages me and listens to me when I talk crazy (especially that night after the Sounds game).

487) That my spiritual gift seems to be always leaving something behind wherever I go.

488) The unusually cool night that was tailor-made for sand volleyball.

489) All those things Julie Andrews sang about in that annoyingly cheery song from The Sound of Music.

490) The way my cat still wants to sleep in my lap after I’ve stepped on her tail, made disparaging remarks about her weight, and let her food bowl run empty yet again.

491) A full moon on a clear night.

492) That insanity doesn’t run in my family. Rather, it strolls through, taking its time, getting to know everyone personally (stolen from something I saw on pinterest).

493) Unquenchable hope in an undefeatable God.

494) All of my family including aunts, uncles, cousins– and all those who are related not by blood but by a common Father.

495) That I’ll never be normal but I can be extraordinary.

496) Those extremely offensive and very politically incorrect Helen Keller jokes.

497) Writing this blog while watching a Golden Girls marathon.

498) 20 second of insane courage and embarrassing bravery.

499) Ross ending up with Rachel in the last episode of Friends.

500) Being halfway through my list of 1,000 things I love.

501) The “It’s Jake from State Farm” commercial. Cracks me up every time.

502) The smell in the air of people grilling out.

503) People who like me for me.

504) Happy endings in movies, books, TV shows, etc.

505) That I’m looking forward to my ultimate happily ever ending in the Kingdom of God.

506) A warm glass of milk late at night.

507) People who respond to texts and posts every single time.

508) Writing because I want to and not because it’s due Friday.

509) Every time Joey Tribbiani says, “How you doin’?”

510) Never having to get lost again thanks to GPS.

511) All my teacher friends who work insane hours for ridiculous pay to make a difference in the next generation.

512) Long hair on an older woman.

513) All those cat mystery books by Lillian Jackson Braun (except maybe that last one).

514) The days when every single problem could be solved in 30 minutes (23 not counting commercials).

515) That pirates can’t ever remember the alphabet because they always get lost at “c”– think about it for a minute and you’ll get it.

Things I Love 18: I’m Not Eighteen Nor Am I Alice Cooper

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I’m sitting all alone on a Saturday night (through nobody’s fault but my own). It’s not so bad. It’s good to be alone every once in a while instead of always needing to be around people and events. I’m not saying I want every Saturday to be like this, but one in a blue moon is good for me. It might even help this blog. So, starting at #446, I continue:

446) The new family tradition of the water balloon toss where none of us really know the rules and none of us are really any good but all of us have a grand time anyway.

447) The thought that when I get turned down romantically that she’s the one ultimately missing out and not me (insert smiley face here).

448) Discovering an old band like The Cardigans and realizing they had so many great songs other than their one-hit wonder song.

449) That I’m not in control and I don’t want to be in control. God is more than capable without my help or expertise.

450) God allowing me to wake up this morning.

451) Being 41 when so many family members and classmates and friends won’t ever get to see that age.

452) That I may actually finish this book I’ve been raving about for weeks (but not really reading) called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

453) With God, I’ve learned to never say never to anything because God is the ultimate Master of Surprise in relationships, careers, or anything else you can think of.

454) Both cats and dogs (and who says that I should have to choose one or the other?)

455) Having 411 songs on my iPhone and a freakish amount of variety that I can carry around in my pocket.

456) That your smart phone has way more capacity and memory than the computers at Apollo during all those space missions during the 60’s and 70’s.

457) Getting hand-written notes.

458) My lava lamp that I got from Spencer’s on sale for $10.

459) Jesus loves me where I am but refuses to leave me there.

460) Finding deals at Goodwill like my $7 red suitcase.

461) Old-school country music like Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

462) Living in Nashville.

463) That my movie tastes include movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary.

464) Seeing the movie Grease in an actual movie theatre (but not when it first came out ’cause I was a bit too young for it then).

465) Going to McCreary’s Irish Pub and knowing just about everyone who works there and them knowing me by name.

466) Going in to Target for one thing and coming out with everything but that one thing I went in there for.

467) Nerding out at McKay’s Used Bookstore (which also has DVDs, blu rays, records, books, and anything to satisfy my inner geek).

468) Shopping and eating local whenever I can to support the community.

469) Being an Independent and not drinking either the Republican or Democratic kool-aid.

470) That both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my last nerve.

471) My collection of old transistor radios (which I am happily accepting donations for).

472) That as of this writing there are only 178 days , 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 7 seconds left until Christmas. Not that I’m counting.

473) Being able to google anything to make myself seem a whole lot smarter and hipper than I really am.

474) That death, hell, and the grave do not have the last word. Jesus does.

475) Finally beating a level on Candy Crush saga.

476) That my 70+ suntan spray will probably keep me safe in the event of a nuclear holocaust with only minor sunburn.

477) My old 1828 Bible that is still in very good condition.

478) Only 532 more to go (and I didn’t even need a calculator to figure that out!)

479) Realizing that forgiveness is never earned or deserved but is purely and simply grace lived out.

480) Having the very best sister in the whole wide world (and no, that is not up for debate or just my opinion, it is a fact).