Baggage Part I: Letting Go

Who doesn’t have baggage? I certainly know I do. I’m pretty sure anyone who is over the age of 5 and who still has a pulse has accumulated some kind of baggage over the years.

What is my baggage? Probably right now, I’m carrying around the constant need to be validated, affirmed, approved, and liked every single moment.

I find myself at the end of conversations thinking I’ve said or texted the absolute wrong thing and ruined the relationship. Things like, “Did I really just end the conversation with ‘Text me’? Is it even possible for there to be a lamer ending to a conversation?”

I think I let go of a little bit of my baggage tonight. I think I’ve finally come to the point where I may not trust myself to keep my relationships alive, but I know that God will keep the right people in my life for as long as they need to be there.

I’ve mentioned before that I am a work in progress. I’m 4o and my dating history reads like a black comedy or a tragedy (either one works, so take your pick). I haven’t had a real girlfriend since I was 5 (her name was Carrie, by the way).

I think I’m more comfortable with my own path and not trying to hijack God’s plan for someone else. I’m learning to enjoy the process and the journey and not be so OCD about the destination.

I think I’m learning that I don’t have to be clever or witty (or even overly coherent) for God to speak through me.

I’m finally learning to be patient with my own process and who I am becoming. I’m more patient with the shortcomings of others, because I’ve seen so much of my own and I’ve seen how very strong God can be in my weakness.

What is your baggage? You have a choice. You can either hold on to your shame and guilt and fear and anger or you can hold onto Jesus, but you can’t hold on to both. And yes, I borrowed that one from Mike Glenn.

You don’t have to carry that baggage forever. You don’t have to let it define you or be a pemanent part of your wardrobe. It all begins with saying, “I can’t do this anymore. I need you, Jesus, to take this and carry it for me.” It may be a process, but it’s so much fun to feel the weight fall off.

May you find that what you’ve carried all this time is one day no longer a part of you. May you find more and more freedom in Christ. May you hear and believe the words at this very moment that “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Amen.

Some Reminders For You and Me

Sometimes, I need to be reminded because I am forgetful and easily distracted. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who needs the reminder. So here is a list of reminders for us to consider.

1) God is for us, not against us. He’s not out to kill our dreams or take away what brings us happiness and pleasure, but to be our Ultimate Joy and show us true fulfullment by helping us become all He made us to be.

2) You don’t have to be an expert theologian or communicator to share your faith. You don’t even have to be good. You just have to have a story to tell and a voice to tell it.

3) God is much more interested in your inside world than your outward appearance. It’s no good to wrap yourself in good works and activities if you have a bad heart. God doesn’t want all your best efforts; He wants all of you. He doesn’t want to make you better; He wants to make you come alive.

4) You need to be less hard on yourself. So do I. If God can forgive us, why can’t we forgive ourselves? I read that we should be able to believe what God says about us, no matter how beautiful it may seem.

5) Freedom starts with honesty. I can never be free if I’m not honest about where I’ve fallen short. Sure there’s grace, but grace doesn’t cover denials, only confessions.

6) Sometimes, we can worship strong with our hands held high. Sometimes, we need others to hold our arms up. Sometimes, we need others to pray the words we can’t find and believe for what we can’t see.

7) OK, there’s not really a 7th point, but I really didn’t want to end on 6. It just didn’t feel right.

Most of all, may we be reminded every morning and every night that our Abba Father loves us and is very fond of us and delights in us and sings over us every night.

Why Fairy Tales Last

I saw Snow White and the Huntsman, based on the fairy tale, tonight in the theatre. I think for me there’s still something about a fairy tale well told that still tugs at my heart strings.

It’s more than just a damsel in distress. Or at least I think so.

We’ve all at some point pricked our fingers on a spindle or taken a bite of that apple. Suddenly, we find ourselves dead inside and out.

You and I need to be rescued. We need Someone strong and brave enough to fight for us. Someone who’s not afraid to die for us.

That’s the Gospel in a nutshell.

I love the story where Tolkien finally wins C.S. Lewis over when he tells him that the Gospel is a myth, but at the same time, a true myth.

I read a book recently that spoke of the Gospel as a tragedy, a comedy, and a fairy tale. The last third of the book made my heart come alive inside my chest. The idea of the Gospel being a fairy tale come true is something most of us have never thought or dreamed of, but that’s what it is.

We get the Rescuer. We get to be Princes and Princesses, royal children of the King of the Universe. And we get the happily ever after (read the last chapter of Revelations if you need proof).

That’s why fairy tales will never, ever go out of style.

Sometimes I Wish . . .

Sometimes I wish I were my cat for one whole day. I could sleep 23 out of the 24 hours in the day, take a wild 15 minute romp through the house, and spend the remaining 45 minutes eating and reposing (not to mention the occasional litterbox visit). That would be a good day.

Sometimes I wish Monopoly money were real. Then I’d be rich, but then so would everybody else with the Monopoly boardgame and gas would probably go up to $10 a gallon. Never mind.

Sometimes I wish people would break out of their ruts and familiar crowds and places and branch out to new people and places. Yes, I’m including me in this little wish.

Sometimes I wish life were like the movies where love and fortune drop in your lap and you spend the rest of your days in a happily ever after that requires no effort or sacrifice. Then again, I would take it for granted and it wouldn’t mean much.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do a few things differently and make different choices. But then I realize that every single choice I’ve ever made has led me to this point, surrounded by the best family and friends any guy could ever ask for. So I’ll stick with my original choices. Final answer.

I wish a lot of things. Most of them won’t ever come true. Wishing and dreaming without a plan is just fantasy. Or worse, it’s delusional.

What are you doing to make your wishes come true? Better yet, what am I doing?

I am probably the world’s worst when it comes to actually starting a plan and seeing it through. Kinda like the lame joke about joining Procrastinators Anonymous . . . . tomorrow.

The key reality in all this is that God’s still very much in control. I make my plans and plan my future, but God directs my steps. I can look back and see that I could have chosen differently many times in my life, but I can see where every choice I made ended up leading me right where God wanted me to be all along.

After reading what I just wrote, I wish I didn’t have ADD. But sometimes random is more fun than normal.

By Faith

I am an optimistic and positive person for the most part. I usually see the glass half full. Unless it’s when I’m really thirsty, then the glass is empty, ’cause I just drank it all.

Sometimes, I have serious doubts. Sometimes, it feels like my dreams and goals are just out of reach and nothing will really ever change. Sometimes, I’m not even really sure what it is I’m reaching for.

Everybody has those times, if they’re honest. Everybody doubts, everybody questions, and as the old R.E.M. song says, everybody hurts.

The question is, Will you still believe even when common sense tells you not to? Will you speak your faith even when you don’t feel it and the words coming out of your mouth feel fake and fraudulent? Will you still hold on?

The old cliche is true. It really is darkest just before the dawn. I’ve found that just when I feel like I’m at my lowest ebb, that’s when I see God moving in my circumstances and in my life.

The promises of God are just as true in the dark as they are in the light. He is just as faithful in the storm as in the sunshine. He is just as near when you can’t feel Him as when you can.

I’ve said it before many times, but it’s true. What you think may lie to you. What you feel may lie to you. But God won’t. Ever.

So many people in the Bible had times when they felt God’s promises were hopelessly out of reach. I think about David and Abraham as examples. David when he was running for his life from Saul and Abraham when he and Sarah were still childless and eligible for Social Security.

But they held on to the promises of God even when everything in them (and probably everyone around them) told them not to, and that faith was rewarded in the nick of time in God’s perfect timing.

May you and I hold on as tenaciously and as stubbornly as they did.

It will be so much more than worth it in the end.

 

Vessels: Meditation on Kairos Tonight

I love the illustration Mike Glenn used tonight in Kairos. He spoke of washing down an Oreo with a glass of milk, only to discover at the bottom of the glass some residue left from the dishwasher.

You woudn’t say the top half of the milk was clean and keep drinking. You wouldn’t say the glass was mostly clean. You’d say the glass was dirty.

How can I call my life clean if I have unconfessed sins and hidden bad habits and areas of mine that I’ve not put under the Lordship of Jesus? How can I expect God to use me if I am mostly clean? God doesn’t use lives that are mostly clean.

I need to be completely clean.

But that’s the beauty of it.

I can be clean if I just simply ask. First I confess. I agree with God that I did or said the wrong thing and left undone the right thing. That I chose my way instead of God’s way. Then I repent, turning 180 degrees from my way to God’s way.

Furthermore, if you want to be a vessel used by God, you can’t wait until the storms of life to get ready. You have to be ready.

Mary was already God’s servant when He called her to be the vessel to bring Jesus into the world. Joseph was already a righteous man when God called him to take Mary as His wife and raise Jesus as his own son.

They didn’t wait until God called them to get ready. They were ready.

The beautiful part of all this is it’s never too late to get ready. It’s never to late to ask God to mold and make you into the person God can use to impact the world around you.

Whether you’re 20 or 40 or 60 or 80, God can still take your life and use it to bless many more than you could possibly imagine.

I want to be like the loaves and fishes Jesus used to feed the 5,000. I want to be broken and blessed, so that the pieces of my life can bless far more people than a safe, unbroken life ever could. I want to be confessed and clean and ready when the time comes that God takes my life and uses it as He sees fit.

I hope you do, too.

Night Volleyball

I participated in a game of volleyball at a Memorial Day cookout with some friends. Needless to say, none of us will probably be making the U.S. Olympic team in 2012 or anytime soon.

From a volleyball purist standpoint, we played the game all wrong. We didn’t set the ball up or even hit it correctly. More times than not, the ball went in the opposite direction of the net or under the net or even into the net.

Whoever invented volleyball was probably rolling over in his grave. Or else he died just so he could be buried and roll over in his grave. It wasn’t pretty.

But it was fun.

We gave each player a do-over on messed-up serves. We complimented each other on near-misses and flat-out whiffs. When the automatic lights went out, one of us would go do our best version of the Riverdance to get the lights back on.

By the time we were done playing, the game was more of a comedy than a competition. But we had fun and laughed at ourselves and with each other.

It was grace in action. Too bad we as believers aren’t that way all the time.

For the moments when I open up my mouth and say something stupid, I need grace.

For the moments when you send the text before you think it through and wish for the next 24 hours you could take it back, you need grace.

For all the times when we break our promises and fail to be light and salt and witnesses of the great God who saved us, we all need grace.

For all the times we screw up royally again after promising God and the world we wouldn’t, we all need grace. For daily falling short of all God meant for us to be to ourselves and each other and to Him, we all need grace. Desparately.

Grace isn’t just undeserved favor. That falls short of what grace is. Grace is undeserved favor in the face of deserved wrath. That’s something I learned recently and something I’m still thinking about.

Grace means that you’re not alone and neither am I. Grace means we walk together, we fall together, and we get back up together. We laugh together, we cry together, we fail together, and we overcome together.

And it took a game of night volleyball to remind me of all that.

The Best Exotic Marigold Epiphany

“Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not the end” (from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).

I never thought I’d actually enjoy a movie about a group of retirees who move to a hotel in India to save money. But I did. It helps that the cast was stellar and the setting was fantastic and beautiful.

But there were a couple of lines that spoke to me more than if they’d come out of a devotional. The above quote and one other small exchange of dialogue:

Evelyn: “Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.”

Muriel: “Most things don’t. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.”

It does work out alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end. If my life doesn’t make sense, there’s more to come. If I feel defeated and discouraged, there’s another chapter set to begin.

The Bible puts it another way: “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”

Maybe you’re in a low point in your story. Maybe you love someone who doesn’t love you back. Maybe you aren’t where you thought you’d be financially. Maybe you are like me and just got let go from your job. Maybe you feel like the story will never get better.

The best part of any story is the unexpected twist that always comes at the lowest point. And God is the best and coming through at the exact moment you need Him to. He delights in changing your story from a tragedy to a triumph.

You may not get what you expected, but sometimes that can be a good thing. A very good thing.

And believe me, the ending to God’s story for you is the best you’ll ever read. I promise.

Life Lessons from an 80’s Movie

I revisited an old favorite 80’s movie tonight, The Last Starfighter. I love its ridiculous premise and it’s extremely dated 80’s-style CGI. However, I wasn’t prepared to have a powerful life lesson dropped in my lap.

The main character lives in a trailer park when the movie starts. He does odd jobs like fixing antennas and dreams of leaving for something better. Something no one can relate to, right?

He just so happens to be very good at a video game. When he finally beats the game, he gets called into an adventure way bigger than anything he could have dreamed of and ends up essentially saving hundreds of worlds, including Earth.

In other words, he lets go of what’s familiar and comfortable to go out into the unknown. Kinda like Abraham and Sarah of old. Kinda like me.

I was in a job that paid the bills. Try as I might, I could never bring myself to love it. Yet it was familiar and comfortable and I knew what to expect. That is until this past Tuesday when my job got cut.

Now, here I am thrust into the unknown where nothing is familiar or comfortable. The choice is up to me as to whether I find another comfortable, familiar spot or really step out in faith into an unknown universe.

I love this quote from the movie. “Things change. Always do. You’ll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you’ve got to grab with both hands, and hold on tight!”

That’s where the adventure really begins. You grab with both hands and hold on tight and trust that God knows what He’s doing even when you don’t.

I am also reminded of another quote, this from a concentration camp survivor, Corrie ten Boom.   “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

So when the time comes and you step out, you find that God gives you the strength and courage to make that step. You find that once your foot lands you know where and when to take the next step. And so it goes.

Will you stay where it’s comfortable and easy and predictable and familiar, even if it’s not your dream or your passion? Or will you step out into an unknown future where a known God has great plans for you?

 

 

Lee Majors Need Not Apply: Lessons from Another Great Kairos Roots

A good friend of mine spoke from Colossians 2 about Christ being all-sufficient, being everything we could ever need or even hope to need.

One thing he said that stuck out to me was that Christ didn’t come to make us better, but to make us new.

He didn’t come to make us like Lee Majors– faster, stronger, taller, better-looking. He came to make us completely new creations. He came to make us into men and women who are everyday being changed into the image of Christ Himself.

Maybe you remember how you were before you came to Christ. You remember the decisions you made and the priorities you lived by. Now you have a completely different way of living. It’s not just an upgrade on an old system; it’s a new system.

Do the people you live and work and play with know that you’re different? Can they see the difference? Do your actions match your words? Could people tell you belong to Christ solely because of how you live (even before you open your mouth?)

Too many times I am not different enough. I blend in too well. I am too much like the people around me for them to see any difference.

I bet you’ve felt the same way.

It’s not about trying harder or being better. It’s not about me finally being strong enough in my own power to change.

It goes back to Jesus being all I need. He will be my Strength. He will be my Wisdom. He will be the Transformation in me that makes me think and act and speak in a way that points people to Him.

By the way. Colossians 2 has that great verse about how all the fullness of the deity dwells in Jesus in bodily form. Jesus isn’t a great example or a great prophet or even a great man. He’s 100% God who is also 100% man who lived out a perfect life and died in our place.

All that to say that in every situation, good or bad, trial or blessing, Jesus is enough.