In Search of Boaz and Ruth in the 21st Century (Yet Another Blog About Singleness)

I had a good friend commenting on how she couldn’t find any men who fit the role of Boaz in the Bible. I have to agree. Not too many godly men stepping up and taking charge spiritually. There are lots of guys out there, but not nearly as many real men.

Then again, as a single guy, I have a hard time finding Ruths. There aren’t too many women pursuing godliness with a passion these days. As before, there are a lot of girls out there, but not too many real godly women.

Then I got to thinking on the way home. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I’m not finding my Ruth because I’m not trying consistently to be a Boaz. I’m all for godliness and holiness when it’s convenient and cheap, but not so much when it takes time and costs me something.

If I’m looking for certain qualities in a mate, I need to have those showing in my own life. Or at least I need to be developing those characteristics. I can’t expect kindness in a future mate if I don’t show it myself. I can’t expect deep spirituality if I am shallow when it comes to the things of God.

I think this applies to married people as well. You can’t expect your spouse to be something you’re not willing to be. You have to own up to your part and change yourself before you demand change from your husband or wife.

I know I have a lot of work to do before I can call myself a godly man. Sometimes, it seems like an impossible task and I feel like I will never get there. But God is best at taking the impossible and making it reality.

So before you point the finger at the opposite sex, make sure you look in the mirror first and find out if you need to get your priorities right first. That’s all.

 

 

 

Revisiting the Classics

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I may lose my man-card permanently for this, but I love the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’ve actually lost count of how many times I’ve seen it, and it still has the same impact on me every single time.

Both Paul Varjak and Holly Golightly start the movie a bit dazed and confused. And lost. Neither one has a direction or purpose. Until they find each other.

I think life’s a lot like that. We help each other find the way. We help each other find God in the times where it seems God is nowhere to be found. We are Jesus to each other in countless ways day in and day out.

I still like to think I have a Holly Golightly out there. If she looks like Audrey Hepburn, it wouldn’t hurt.

We all get lost and lose our way. We occasionally forget who we are and what we’re here for. We lose our purpose and get trapped in some bad choices. We look up and wonder how we got where we are and wonder how we can ever make it back.

I think that’s where you and I come in. We remind each other of who we really are, not the sum of bad choices or a past history, but children of God, Abba’s beloved. We root for each other, cheering over victories and encouraging in the face of defeats.

That all may sound like a mighty heap of cliches. Maybe it is. But isn’t it comforting to know in the times when you’ve felt most alone and lost and confused that familiar voice that calls you back? Maybe it’s a phone call or an email or a text or a kind word spoken.

It’s good to go back to the classics. Most of all, it’s good to go back to the promises of God that never change, despite all the upheaval and uncertainty of our times.

May we remind each other of these promises and of the goodness of God every single day while we’re here.

 

Live Naked

I need to preface this blog by emphatically stating that by “live naked,” I so do not mean join a nudist colony or walk around all day in your birthday suit. If you do, we will disavow all knowledge and pretend you don’t exist. This blog will self-destruct in 15 seconds. . . .

For real, I do think that we need to live naked. By that, I mean live transparently and honestly. You will always be a second-rate version of someone else, but a first-rate version of you, because God made you to be you, only you, and no one else.

That means you don’t have to force yourself to believe that everything is fine when it’s not. You can honestly admit that you’re having a bad day, that your brokenness is showing, and that you feel completely inadequate to handle what the day is throwing at you.

To like naked is to live a life that is 100% 24/7 completely and utterly dependent on God for every single moment and every single thing. You know you need God in the next moment to avoid a full-on falling apart mental and emotional meltdown. You need all of God’s strength to hold you together and you need all of his love to keep you sane.

To live naked is to live trusting without understanding, following without knowing the way, and believing without having all (or even most) of the answers.

That’s how I am choosing to live each day. That’s how I pray you choose to live. Because believers aren’t perfect, but forgiven. If anything, those who have given up everything to follow Jesus know that Jesus is all they have and that Jesus is all they need.

It’s a battle to trust when your emotions and thoughts are screaming at you that God won’t come through. It’s a lifelong struggle, but it’s so much more than worthwhile.

May we live naked starting today and every day.

Spontaneous, Joyful Uncertainty and Expectancy

“If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in—but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, is that almost nothing ever turns out according to my expectations. No conversation ever goes like I planned it in my head, no holiday plays out quite like I planned, and no day ever seems to be what I thought it would be.

I think my only expectations from 2013 are of God. Specifically, I expect him to show up in 2013. How? I have no idea. I only know that when I need him most, he’ll be there.

I’ve had unexpected relationships that I never saw coming. I’ve had friendships with people I never thought would even talk to me. I’ve also had friends move on and seemingly drop off the planet (or at least off my radar). For those of you who have moved on to the next phase of life, the friendship is still on and always will be. Count on it.

That doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing. I think this year I have to prepared and ready for whatever God brings. As one of my favorite lines from a movie goes, I have to have my fields ready to receive the rain when it comes.

I know that whenever God has shown up in my life, it has never been exactly in the way that I expected, but it has always been better. It has never been when I expected, but it has always been at the perfect moment when I needed him most. God’s gifts to me haven’t been what I asked for; many times, they’ve what I needed and longed for but didn’t know it.

I know that whatever I go through in 2013, God is good. I know whatever the day turns out to be, God is faithful. And I expect that to be the same in 2014 and beyond.

2013: The New Adventure

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“It’s not about where an adventure ends, because that’s not what an adventure is about” (from We Bought a Zoo).

I think a lot of us are glad to see the end of 2012. For some, 2012 was painful and said. For me, it was a year that saw some challenges, had its really good moments, but it’s now over and I’m ready for a new adventure.

I take that back. It’s not a new adventure. It’s a continuation in the unfolding adventure of what God has for me next. It’s a new chapter in the book that God is writing. The one where I’m the main character (and I hope that if Hollywood adapts the book about me into a movie, they get Matt Damon or John Cusack to play me. That would be awesome.

But I digress.

I say one of the best moments in 2012 for me was seeing Sixpence None the Richer in concert at the Franklin Theatre and hearing them play “Kiss Me” live. That was a highlight moment that is definitely in my top 10. The worst moment was getting hit by that car, even though it didn’t hurt me nearly as bad as it probably should have. It shook me up.

But even that turned out for the good. I have never been more thankful to be alive and grateful for the good things in my life, like family and friends. I’ve let go of some negative thinking in light of almost seeing my life flash before my eyes.

So bring it, 2013. I’m ready. I have an open mind and an open heart and open hands. I have no expectations this year other than this: I fully expect God to be present in my life and bring the people and places and circumstances and situations into my life that will make me more like Jesus. Like I read earlier today, God wants my faithfulness more than he wants my success.

2013’s gonna be a great year.

 

 

What Does God Look Like?

As a child, I read about the hand of God and I wondered what that must have looked like. I thought surely God had big, strong hands to carry the world and everything and everyone in it. Plus, he’d have to have good aim for throwing all that lightning around. I couldn’t even bring myself to imagine what size shoe he would wear.

As I’ve grown older, I realize that God’s hands look much different than I used to think. God’s hands are calloused with scars and dirt under the fingernails. God’s hands. His hands look a lot like mine. In fact, my hands are his hands in a way. So are yours. God has chosen to work through and reach out with your hands and my hands.

As for his feet, they’ve seen a lot of wear and tear. They know that hurting people aren’t just next door or across the globe. They’re in both places and everywhere in between. I believe my God wears a size 8 1/2, because my feet are his feet going out to reach the hopeless and broken. It’s just a matter of if I choose to walk in his footsteps.

Our job as believers is to show God to the world. They see us and how we work and live and play and see God through what we say and what we do. How we reflect the image of God determines what view of God those around us will have.

So for me, that changes the way I look at myself. If I am created in God’s likeness and his image-bearer, then I look exactly like he wanted me to look. It changes the way I act. It changes me.

I pray that as we are being transformed more and more into the image and glory of God, we will in turn reflect that likeness and image on to those around us so that they can also see the goodness and the greatness of the God we serve.

Maybe that’s a good mindset to have for 2013.

Freedom and Other Thursday Randomness

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I don’t understand a lot of what happens. I don’t understand why people act the way they do. I don’t know why I act the way I do half the time.

But I do know this.

The best kind of freedom is freedom from the expectations of others. The freedom from being a slave to whether someone else likes or doesn’t like you. The freedom to know and be your truest self, regardless of who sees or responds.

I’m not there yet. Maybe you’re not either. I have a strong feeling many people wish they were there, but aren’t just yet. It’s a precious few folks who find this kind of freedom.

People come and people go. You never know who will show up and who will leave. You never know who will be your friend and who won’t. You just have to trust God daily and cherish the people he brings into your life while they’re there.

Sometimes, when my life feels most unstable, that’s when I appreciate the most God’s unchangingness– how he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His promises are true yesterday, today, and forever, too.

Cling to the eternal and let what is temporary go. Or, as Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

I’ve always loved that. And that’s what I intend to do, God willing and with God’s help. And today is one of those days when I need an extra helping of God’s help.

I’ve been told that God helps those who help themselves. But if we could help ourselves, we wouldn’t need God’s help in the first place. I think it’s more like this. God helps those who know they can’t help themselves, who have tried and tried and failed so many times before only to end up back where they started. Who know that they are poor and wretched and miserable and blind and needy without God. The poor in spirit.

Lord, may we fall into your grace and find that it is more than sufficient.

Amen.

The Day After Christmas

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It’s December 26, or as it is officially known, the day after Christmas. Canada and other former British colonies celebrate today as Boxing Day (which has absolutely nothing to do with actual boxing, much to Mike Tyson’s chagrin).

In the past, December 26 always was a let-down. I had waited for weeks and weeks for Christmas to arrive and when it did, it went by so quickly and was over. The presents were nice, but it seemed sad to have nothing to look forward to again for another 364 days.

Of course, you could always celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, made famous by the old song. That gives you until January 6 to keep your Christmas lights and decorations up if you’re dreading having to take it all down.

But I remember something one of the characters in a movie version of a Christmas Carol:

“Mortal! We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men’s hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year. You have chosen not to seek Him in your heart. Therefore, you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of men of good will.”

(Ok, I cheated a bit. I remembered a a bit of that vaguely and looked it up on google and found the rest.)

The child born in the manger deserves more than one day a year to celebrate his arrival. Why not make every day a reminder that Emmanuel, God with us, has come and has not left us.

I personally think that it’s perfectly acceptable to watch Christmas movies all year long, should that be your heart’s desire. And if you want to pull out your Christmas music in July, I say go for it!

But most of all, we should strive to be like old Scrooge, who learned to keep Christmas well in his heart not just the one day a year, but every day.

 

 

It’s Christmas (Eve) Again

In years past, I couldn’t help but feel the inevitable letdown that came once Christmas had come and gone. It was as if I spent all that time and energy waiting for one day that went by awfully fast.

But I’ve learned to appreciate Christmas more in and of itself, aside from all the gifts and trappings.

For me, the more I celebrate the advent season, the less Christmas becomes about one single day and the more it becomes about the entrance into our world of the infant Immanuel, God with us.

If you follow the 12 days of Christmas, then you know that Christmas doesn’t really end until January 6. So this year, I’m milking the holiday for all it’s worth.

Yeah, I like presents. I like giving them, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I liked getting them, too. But more than presents, I like being around family and the intentional togetherness fostered by the celebration of the Christ child who came to bring us peace.

I love what I heard in a sermon tonight. Jesus came to take away our fear and give us joy.

That’s what Christmas is really about, Charlie Brown.

 

Just About Everything About Your Nativity is Wrong (But Not Everything)

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Disclaimer: if you love your nativity scene and don’t want anybody messing with it, you might want to stop reading here. Just FYI. Otherwise, keep goin’. Fun times are ahead.

First of all, the wise men were not at the birth scene. According to Matthew, they didn’t arrive until Joseph, Mary, and Jesus were living in a house and Jesus was probably 2 years old. Already, your nativity scene is getting less crowded.

Also, there was no mean inn-keeper (sorry to burst your bubble, all of you whose dramatic career consisted of playing this one character in the church Christmas pageant). There was probably no inn, either. According to what I’ve learned, the Greek word used for inn in Luke 2 is probably better rendered as “guest room” and was most likely in back of the ancestral home where the family beast of burden would normally stay.

That means there weren’t animals at the birth scene. Again, not 100% for certain, but more than likely not. I don’t know if any little boy showed up and serenaded the Christ child with a drum solo, but it’s doubtful.

As far as the wise men are concerned, there’s no indication in Scripture that there were three of them. Just because there were three gifts doesn’t mean that there were three of them. And they may or may not have been named Gaspar, Melchior,  and Balthasar. For all we know, they could have been named Larry, Curly, and Moe.

The one thing that’s right about your nativity scene is that Jesus is there. The Word became flesh and pitched his tent among us. God took on human skin and became Immanuel– “God with us.” The Almighty became an embryo and the Creator became a helpless infant boy.

So you can keep that part of your nativity scene. You can even add in snow if the spirit leads. But remember that Jesus was probably born in spring, not December, so there was likely no snow that night. I just burst yet another bubble of yours. You’re welcome.