animals

My Feline Therapist

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I don’t suppose too many people remember in the old Peanuts cartoons when Lucy would put up a stand that said something like “Psychiatrist 5 cents”. I have my own personal therapist and she’s free.

Lucy (my cat, not the cartoon character) gives me free therapy sessions. Usually at the end of the day, I will be on the couch and she will crawl up onto my lap and fall asleep there. She will stay as long as I don’t get up for anything or make any sudden movements.

She’s not much with the advice. She’s mostly a listener. She’s also the only therapist who could get away with sleeping on the job. But Lucy’s 11, so I cut her some slack.

Pets are good that way. They are always so happy to see you and they love being around you and they make you feel like somebody, even on those days when it seems no one else even knows you’re alive.

I am a fan of both cats and dogs. They’re different, but they both have ways of showing affection. Cats are lower maintenance, but they’re both good.

Usually, after five minutes of my therapy with Lucy, I feel my blood pressure going down and the stress leaving my body. Whatever seemed so threatening and so urgent doesn’t seem all that important any more. I’m able to see things with a better perspective.

I recommend some form of pet therapy, whether it be a cat in your lap or a dog at your feet or even a hampster doing whatever it is that hampsters do. We all need down time and some kind of stress-relief. Pets are really good for that.

Oh, and it helps to have a good book thrown into the mix. A cat in my lap and a C.S. Lewis book make for a good time. You should try it.

This is Your Brain on Tylenol Sinus Nighttime Medicine

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I have oddly disconnected and random thoughts tonight. Such as:

1) Both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my nerves, so I guess that makes me an Independent. I think I’d rather vote for Marge Simpson.

2) As my boss said, “Anyday without a toe tag is a good day.” I made it through another day still alive and kicking with all my extremeties and all my teeth, so I’d call it a good day.

3) I heard a pastor talk about how you go to someone’s funeral and say how they look natural. As if that person slept in a coffin every day of his life.

4) I know reality TV is in, but I still like my television to be as unrealistic as possible. Give me vampires, ghosts, aliens, and Buffy any day over survivors and batchelorettes. I get enough reality from real life.

5) Diet Mountain Dew is a great invention. At 7:30 in the morning, it is a Godsend.

6) I like the new morning show on Way-FM, but I still miss Mornings with Brant. Especially Malarkey. I miss that most.

7) I found my cat Lucy taking a nap on my suitcase underneath the bed this morning. I think she doesn’t want me going on any more trips this year. Either that or she wants to go, too.

8) Lucy the aforementioned cat is named after Lucy from The Chronicles of Narnia, in case you wondered.

9) This Tylenol Sinus Nighttime stuff works. I am uber-sleepy. Good night.

Fun Times at Nashville International Airport

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I recently did something I haven’t done since I was four. I flew in an airplane. As opposed to the other ways of flying. Things have changed a bit since I last flew back in 1976. Just a little.

On my way through the inspection part, I got pulled out of line and patted down in public (awkward). They also searched my luggage and took my shampoo. Really?

What was I going to do? Break into the cockpit and wash the flight crew’s hair? Or if I were especially nefarious, I might rinse and repeat. I am such a suspicious looking character, after all. You never know what I might do at any moment, like take a nap or break into 80’s song. You just never know.

I did get to see a sunset from 23,000 feet. That just about made up for the loss of shampoo. Words fail to describe how gloriously beautiful it was.

Next time I fly, I am taking a smaller bottle of shampoo. Maybe like the microscopic sample they gave me at the hotel. Definely not the $15 bottle of Biolage that I use for Screech-prevention, to keep my hair from looking like Screech’s from Saved by the Bell.

And by the way, as the picture above attests, I think my cat didn’t miss me too terribly much. She was too busy napping to notice I was gone.

Oh, did I mention my luggage got searched again on the way back home? I am just so very lucky.

If my cat could talk

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If my cat could talk . . . no wait, she talks all the time. . . if she could lower herself to speak human. . . .what would she say? I think I have an idea.

Hello, person. This is me, the most beautiful and most important feline in your life speaking. That being said, I have a few complaints.

Why do you insist upon calling me “my fat widdle kitty?” I am not “widdle”. I am above average for my species, which unfortunately is not a bengal tiger. Yes, I am a common housecat. But I plan on upgrading in my next life. So be nice to me.

Also, what’s with the food situation? I don’t pay you to keep my food bowl half empty. Oh wait, I don’t pay you at all. My bad. Still, how can I keep up my beautiful shape if I can’t have my daily 15 meals plus snacks? And someone (who is NOT me) keeps barfing near my food bowl. It’s really gross and you should pick it up sooner.

I could go on. Not being able to go outside or lounge on the table. Really? You’d think by the way I was treated that I was some sort of pet or something.

But I do like you. I like the way your clothes smell and I like to lie on them when you’re gone and pretend I’m taking a nap in your lap. I like the way you take care of me and I hope to stick around as long as I can. I’ll try really hard.

Now back to that food bowl, human!

Thanks for all the love

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

For those who have lost pets they loved, it’s almost like losing family. The pain is real, the grief is real and the void that is left is all too real. I’ve often wondered if your deceased pet could have given you one last note, what would it be like? Maybe like this.

“Dear Person,

If  you’re reading this now, it means I’ve gone and you’re feeling sad. We went to the vet together and you had to come home alone. You’re already missing me.

Don’t be too sad. Remember me not as an old and sick dog, but as a young and playful dog. Think about all the happy memories we had, of riding in the car and you throwing sticks for me to chase.

You always made me happy. Whenever I saw you, I got all excited inside (and a few times I got so excited I even tinkled a bit on the carpet. I’m sorry about that). You took good care of me and made me feel safe.

Thanks for all the dog bones. The chewey kind were my favorite. The food was good, except for that diet stuff. I only pretended to like that to make you happy.

It’s not your fault. I got sick. I wasn’t having any fun anymore. I was in pain and I couldn’t walk very well. I wanted so hard to please you, but I was having a hard time. I understand that sometimes you have to let go and say goodbye.

This way, I’ll always have a special place in your heart. I’ll always be young and frisky and happy, never sad or old or sick. I know you loved me a lot. You can take all that love and find a new dog (or cat!) to give your love to. I won’t mind. I want you to be happy again.

You were the best owner a pet could ever have. I’ll be sure to tell God that when I see him. Maybe one day we’ll meet again. I think good things don’t ever really go away, but they are in heaven. So don’t be too sad. Think of how happy you made me and how much fun we had.

Then it will get all better. I promise.”