Throw in regular naps, and I’m good. I think all of these sound great to me (as long as the garden belongs to someone else and I get to partake in the produce from time to time).

I see Bag End where Bilbo Baggins — and later Frodo Baggins — lived in a comfortable dwelling in a hole in a hill, and that sounds appealing to me. I could have rooms for food, rooms for clothes (mostly t-shirts and Hawaiian shirts). I could have my favorite daily walks all mapped out.

I think I could have been a very good hobbit. I would have been a freakishly tall hobbit, but otherwise I’d have fit in very nicely. Did I mention I’m a fan of potatoes, especially when they’re fried?

My consolation prize will have to be revisiting the Shire and those Hobbits by re-reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings periodically. And perhaps eating more breakfasts and potatoes.

I don’t have a new car. It’s new to me, but it’s a 2018, so technically it’s used or pre-owned or whatever you want to call it. But it does have that new car smell. So at the risk of sounding completely nerdy, I confess that when I get in my car, I take a big whiff. Every. Single. Time.

For those I haven’t completely grossed out or weirded out, I’m also still extremely grateful. This 2018 Jeep is a tangible reminder of God’s faithfulness. Whenever I get discouraged about finding that next job or have a hard time holding on to God’s promises for me, I look at that little red car and remember how God has provided for me multiple times in the past.

The Bible says that all God’s promises are YES and AMEN in Christ Jesus. I still don’t think that means that I’m winning the lottery tomorrow or that a sleek new Ferrari will show up in my driveway on Monday. It does mean that I will never be forsaken or left alone. All that I needed His hand has provided, as the old hymn says.

My issue is that my timing and God’s timing aren’t always in sync. I’m a lot like King Saul in the Old Testament who tried to help God out a few times instead of waiting on God’s answer. For those who have read 1 Samuel, you know that it didn’t work out so well for our boy Saul. In fact, it (plus a few other unwise decisions) cost him his life.

My Jeep is almost a kind of memorial to God’s faithfulness as much as those stones the people of God raised up to commemorate a scene of deliverance or to remember when God miraculously showed up. So I will pray to be more like King David in waiting on God’s timing and trusting in God’s provision for me.

“There are times when everything looks very dark to me——-so dark that I have to wait before I have hope.Waiting with hope is very difficult,but true patience is expressed when we must even wait for hope. When we see no hint of success but refuse to despair, when we see nothing but the darkness of night through our window yet keep the shutters open because stars may appear in the sky, and when we hav an empty place in our heart yet will not allow it to be filled with anything less then God’s best—- that is the greatest kind of patience in the universe. It is the story of Job in the midst of the storm,Abraham on the road to Moriah, Moses in the desert of Midian, and the Son of Man in the garden of Gethsemane. There is no patience as strong as that which endures because we see ‘him who is invisible'(Hebrews 11:27) It is the kind of patience that waits for hope.

Dear Lord, You have made waiting beautiful and patience divine.You have taught us that Your will should be accepted, simply because it is Your will. You have revealed to us that a person may see nothing but sorrow in his cup yet still be willing to drink it because of a conviction that Your eyes see further then his own.

Father, give me Your divine power—- the power of Gethsemane. Give me the strength to wait for hope—to look through the window when there are no stars. Even when my joy is gone, give me strength to stand victoriously in the darkest night and say, ‘To my Heavenly Father, the sun still shines’. I will have reached the point of greatest strength once I have learned to wait for hope. Strive to be one of the few who walk this earth with the ever present realization– every morning ,noon, an night that the unknown that people call heaven is directly behind those things that are visible. (Galatians 5:5 ) By faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope” (George Matheson).

“As for me, I’ve tasted a little from every cup and grown through all of it. I have loved until I ached from loving, and wept until my heart was sick of tears. I have known life in all of its chaotic complexity and utter simplicity, its outrageous gains and tragic losses, its devastating pain and exhilarating joy – and looking back, I would not change or undo one moment, even if I could” (Marilee Zdenek).

I’d sometimes think I wish I could go back to a time in my life knowing what I know now so that I would better appreciate certain periods of my life. But then I’d never have learned those lessons in the first place to give me the wisdom I would take back with me.

I’m thankful for the hard parts that made me more like Jesus even more than the good parts that made for good memories.

“Grant me, O Lord,
to know
that which ought to be known,
to love
that which ought to be loved,
to praise
that which pleases you,
to esteem
that which is precious to you,
to blame
that which is evil in your eyes.

Give me wisdom and discernment
to differentiate what is good from
what only appears to be good,
and above all to be always
seeking after your will
and your good pleasure.
Amen” (Thomas A Kempis, from Every Moment Holy III: The Work of the People).

I heard once that discernment isn’t distinguishing between right and wrong, good and bad, but between right and almost right, good and almost good.

Grant me true discernment, O Lord, to always know and seek Your truth in everything.

Amen.