This just in. I have a somewhat tacky Christmas sweater for any and all upcoming ugly Christmas sweater contests.

As I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to these things, I’m not completely satisfied. The aforementioned sweater does not light up or make annoyingly festive sounds of any kind. It is however, loud and obnoxious. Plus, I think the row of creepy Santa faces takes this sweater up a notch. In my opinion.

So the quest will continue. My size is still Large. If you see any extremely tacky and obnoxious Christmas sweaters, let me know. I will continue to keep at least one eye open whenever I am frequenting the local Goodwill or any of the other fine thrift stores in the general Nashville area.

That said, I at least have something to wear that has a slim to moderate chance of earning me a 3rd or 4th place award. It’s also sufficiently Christmas-y and is both joyful and triumphant.

The whole point isn’t really to win. The point is to be as obnoxiously and annoyingly festive as possible.