These are generalizations, but I think they’re true for the most part. At least I’ve observed them in my own life.

When you’re in your 20’s, you know everything. You have life and God and people figured out. You can be a little careless and casual with your relationships because you still believe that you can be friends with everybody. The world is black and white and it’s easy to jump to conclusions. I know I was much more legalistic and judgmental then.

The 30’s are an age where you know increasingly less and less. The world has more shades of gray. You learn to give more grace because you see parts of you that you wish weren’t there. Maybe it’s jealousy or sudden fits of anger or envy. It’s much more difficult to write people off. You have fewer, but deeper, friendships and you treasure them more because you know how fragile life is and how hard it is to find deep meaningful relationships.

I can’t speak for the 40’s. Hopefully, I’ve gained wisdom with more than a dash of humility. I’ve learned being right doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as being reconciled and at peace with people. I’ve learned above all to give myself grace and allowance for my mistakes. I’ve learned not to beat myself up when I act out of hurt or anxiety occasionally, because I’m still learning and growing and healing.

So, to sum it up, love people where they are and don’t burden them with lots of assumptions and expectations. After all, you know what you make of you and me when you assume– an ass.

Also, be generous in grace and forgiveness. You never know when you’ll need both.