If you skim the headlines, you may get the impression that the twinkie, that perfect little concoction from Hostess with no actual food ingredients, is going away forever. You might be one of those who are hoarding up on the tasty little snacks in anticipation of the demise of Hostess and the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

I myself bought two boxes.

But before you give in to despair, read a little closer. Twinkies aren’t going away. In all likelihood, some other company will buy the rights to the brand and start making their own twinkies. And they will be just as bad for you and just as loaded with preservatives and ingredients that you can’t possibly pronounce as the current incarnation. And they will be just as tasty.

If, God forbid, twinkies should cease to exist, then the unthinkable might actually happen. No, I don’t mean an invasion by zombies or a crisis of cataclysmic and global proportions. I mean you and I might just have to start eating healthy. Egads.