It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, but I thought it was time. I’ve learned a lot about myself and God and the whole waiting process since then.

I almost gave up on you. In fact, every day it’s a struggle not to quit believing in the possibility of you being out there. It’s hard to believe that I can ever be the man of God who will be able to be your husband and take care of you. In fact, it will probably take a miracle.

Then again, all the best things in life are miracles. Every time a child is conceived and carried to term and born, it’s a miracle. Every time a child grows into a man or woman whose faith is intact despite a thousand voices that tell him or her to deny that faith, it’s a miracle.

I am learning that in order to find you, I must seek Him. I must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything that encompasses. I must follow hard after Jesus so I can look beside me and see you running just as hard and fast in the same direction. Then I’ll know.

I pray your faith is stronger than mine and that your doubts win out less. I pray you can rest more in your Abba’s sovereign grace and live out of the peace of being in the center of His will, even if that will doesn’t look anything like you thought it would.

I pray you see your beauty radiating from the inside out, coming from Jesus shining through every part of your being. I pray you love who God made you as He made you and can look at yourself in the mirror and see what God saw when He said, “It is very good.”

Tomorrow will be another struggle to hold on to hope for you, but whatever the cost in sweat, blood, tears, and pain, it will have been worth it when I finally meet you. So I wait.