Today, you signed off at 8:59 am for the last time. It made me sad. I felt like I had just said goodbye to a dear friend. This may come across as creepy and stalker-ish, but I count you three as dear friends. Brant, Pablo and Katie Rose, you made my mornings.

You made me fall in love with God again and really understand how good God is and how free grace is and what it means. You made me laugh, cry, and think. You melted a little of the ice I had let accumulate around my heart.

You showed me that it was okay to be me, even if I was not like everybody else and didn’t always do and say the right things and the right time. That it’s okay to be socially awkward and goofy and quirky. That being normal is boring, but being who God made you to be is so much better.

I will never forget you guys. There were times when work would have been almost unbearable without you and life would have been duller. You didn’t put the colors in my world, but you certainly made them brighter. My favorites were the Malarkey, Club Awesome, the joke lab, and all you did with sponsoring children with Compassion International, among other things. I was never bored with your show. Confused and befuddled? Sometimes. But never ever bored.

I think today as you were saying goodbye I had a hard time seeing my computer screen for the tears in my eyes. I wished then that I could capture one moment of you guys bantering back and forth and hold on to it forever.

I know too well that life is about change and nothing stays the same forever. Nothing can grow and transform without change. Sometimes you have to let go of what you know and embrace the unknown, as Abraham did once long ago. Sometimes you have to release the good to lay hold of the better thing.

I know whatever show that replaces you will be good, too. I will learn to love it as much as I loved this one. But I still can’t help but feel there’s a hole in my heart where you used to be. I still can’t help but feeling a sense of grief.

Thank you again for reminding me that in all things God really is good, that He really is for me and roots for me, that He loves me completely no matter what.

I pray blessings for each of you and thank God for all of you. You were a part of a lot of beautiful moments and I am better because of all of you.

Whether we ever meet this side of heaven, I thought you should know that.