I think about Edmund from the Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe and how his dreams of magical turkish delight ruined his appetite for good ordinary food. We are the same way.

We spoil good friendships with the opposite sex by wondering what would happen if we took the next step relationally. We ruin good conversations by always thinking back in regret or thinking ahead in anticipation. I personally have been too busy thinking of my next clever line to really listen to the other person and have hindered good conversation that way.

My advice? Be in the moment. Be all in the moment. Enjoy your relationships for what they are, not for what they could be. Don’t be anxious over thinking too much over what might have been or what might never be. Enjoy what you have.

I’m not saying to settle and never pursue something more. I am saying that friendship is a gift that is all too often overlooked and undervalued. Don’t rush past friendships, but linger in them until they grow deep. Don’t force a conversation or a friendship. Let it happen naturally. Keep your eyes open always and your ears attentive and your mouth shut. In other words, be much more intentional about learning to listen well and far less worried about what you will say or how you will say it.

I am no expert and I don’t claim to know people all that well, but these are things I have been realizing lately. Once you put aside obsessing over romantic possibilities and just learn to be the best friend you can be, the friendship blossoms. Once you put aside all expectations about what a person should or should not be and enjoy that person for who he or she is, you find much more in common and are blessed so much more by the relationship.

Single, married, divorced, widowed. It doesn’t matter. Learn to embrace where God has you and savor the moments He gives you with the people He  has placed in your life. Learn to laugh a lot, live in the now, and love others like God has loved you. And you will be fine.

Amen and amen.