I found out the hard way that sometimes blessings come through brokenness and restoration comes in the form of loving rebuke. I found out some things about myself that I didn’t like. I found out that I was quite frankly being a bit of an idiot in an area of my life.

I am socially awkward at best. I know that. But I apparently come on too strong without meaning to when I am trying to get to know a girl. My intentions are friendship, but I think I try too hard. No, I know I try too hard. So that’s out in the open. I had a friend tonight who gently rebuked me on that, for which I am eternally grateful and indebted.

Sometimes, the sin is not necessarily in transgressing God’s laws or in overt rebellion againt God, but it is a failure to be weak enough to let God do all and be all in and through me. When I think I can somehow manipulate or contort my way in a situation, it means I am not trusting God nearly enough.

And sometimes when I am wronged or hurt, I have to recognize that my own angry reaction to that hurt is just as sinful. Roy Hession says that the wrong action is like the splinter in my friend’s eye, but my unloving reaction is like a beam in my own eye. I can only be convicted of my own sin and must first confess my fault and take it to the cross and leave it there.

This blog feels like a complete mess, but that’s what I feel like. A beautifully broken, holy mess that God loves. I am a work in progress, but I am also the one Jesus loves.

Jesus, thank you for brokenness, for without it I can never truly be made whole.

Amen.