I find myself praying a lot lately for change. Not the shiny kind that shows up under the couch cushions, although that is a nice bonus. I mean the kind where I pray for God to change my work environment, my marital status, etc.

The dangerous part of that prayer is that most of the time, God responds with something to the effect of: “You want change? Let’s start with you.”

God’s idea of change is usually not that He magically transforms my circumstances to my liking, but that He changes me. God wants not to change my circumstances, but for me to be the change in my circumstances.

Did I mention how I really don’t like that idea? I mean, change is hard, takes time, messes with my head. . . and so on and so forth, yada yada yada.

God’s will for me is not so much where I am or what I’m doing, but who I am. And Whose I am defines who I am. I am God’s child, and here in this life I am His hands and feet and voice. His will is not my comfort, but for me to be Christ to my world.

Thankfully, He is more than patient with me. He knows what He’s doing, although I always tend to forget and doubt and complain. A lot.

God, change me. Make me the person who will be the change in my workplace. Make me the kind of godly man who will draw a godly woman to me by my character and my actions. Make me like Jesus.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.