First of all, my apologies to Clives Staples Lewis for borrowing his idea, but I think ol’ demon Screwtape has a few more things to write to his nephew Wormwood. For the record, the premise behind The Screwtape Letters is a senior-level demon writing advice to a junior-level demon about how to best lead astray his human charge. His job is basially the opposite of a guardian angel.

My Dear Wormwood,

I must say that, even though I despise and abhor genuine emotion and devotion in Greg’s life, I believe we can use emotion to our advantage. We must make him think that emotions are the only true litmus test to how he is doing in his religion. You must continually impress in his mind that the most important aspect of any service or activity is whether it leads to an emotional high. Simply put, if he doesn’t have the feeling of elation after Kairos or services at Fellowship Bible Church, you must convince him that he is spiritually slipping and in danger of falling out of favor with God. Barring that, you must lead him to think that God has become distant and removed.

We never want him to reflect that God may be testing him to show him that true faith is not based on feelings, but rather on revealed truths as found in that infernal Bible he carries around all the time (we must think of a way to put an end to that!). You must try every way to convince him that true spirituality means a continual feeling of ecstacy, and any absense of that feeling should be seen as either a defect in his faith or, better still, a defect in his God.

We want him caught up in the popular teaching that God wants all his children happy and that any suffering of any kind is either because he is bad or that God is bad. Never allow him to see suffering in any other light. Furthermore, he needs to feel that all the sermons and talks and lectures and such must be tailored to meet his needs and make him feel better about himself. Convince him to leave any establishment that doesn’t meet those needs and keep hopping from place to place until he finds someone who will tickle his ear with cotton candy theology. We don’t want any of that repentance garbage making him feel bad and causing him to lose all his bad habits we’ve worked so hard for.

Wormwood, take every occasion to plant seeds of doubt and mistrust in his mind against his friends and family. Get him to think that he can’t really trust anyone and that he is really on his own in life. Our goal is to make him a cynical spectator instead of an engaged worshipper (those types really do so much to upset our plans).

Never allow him for one moment to have time to sit and reflect in Silence. Silence is our enemy. You must continually be sending stimuli from every possible source, like television or radio or even thoughts of things left undone. We want him to be like so many of those who profess to be followers of our Enemy, but live like one of our own by ceaselessly seeking the next bigger thrill and the next bigger event, always thinking that those will quiet the nagging doubts in his mind (a job well done, I might add. Especially that doubt about his self-worth. That was a nice touch!

One last word of advice. Every time he hears any sermon or other words from God, immediately bring to his mind a person who really should be hearing this. Never allow him to begin to apply the messages to his own heart. That way he will be well on his way to becoming a judmental pharisee (and how we love those types! They do so much to advance our cause!)

Your affectionate (but still really evil) uncle,

Screwtape